Escaped: Fighting my way home
© Copyright 2009
Written by Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia
ben@banzaiben.com
Chapter 11 –
Tuesday 30 September 2007
Leadville Colorado –
Tuesday Day Thirty-two
I slept the sleep of the dead
last night. It always seemed like I slept the best at my-uh-our cabin. I used
to think it was the bed, but this was a new bed. Jens's snoring didn't even
bother me. It must just be… being home in the comfort and perceived safety of
home.
I was wide-awake and I wanted
to run! I wanted to run the trails of my youth and relive the memories of both
happier and less happy times. And I wanted to see if my friend was still here
and would run with me. I reached over and started stroking Jens on the back,
her little snores turned into sighs. I pushed a little harder and she started
waking up, "Mmmm, this is a nice way to wake up." She rolled over and
her smile lit up the whole room. "This is our house, my dearest. Our
house! I can't wait until we have children and this house echoes with the
pitter-patter of their little feet." She leaned over and hugged me tight
and kissed me lightly on my lips, I pulled her tighter and kissed harder. She
pulled away, "Now don't hurt your lips."
"Come on Jens, let's go
for a run. There's someone I want you to meet." She gave me a funny look
but shrugged her shoulders and jumped out of bed. Watching her move always
mesmerized me. When she wasn't doing her sexy strut she had graceful moves that
reminded me of watching a puma stalking a deer. She looked over her shoulder at
me and said, "Thanks, that's the nicest thing you've thought about me all
day. Now are you going to lie in bed all day and watch me or are we going for a
run?"
I smiled as much as my lips
would allow, "I don't know. Since you're my blonde trophy babe I thought I
might have you strut around the room awhile. Perhaps I might even order you to
give me a fashion show!"
"Pul-eze! If I did that
you'd get so excited you'd die from a heart attack - and I don't want you dying
for a long time. Get your ass moving Marine or I might have to kick it.
Besides, you tweaked my curiosity about this friend of yours." She
giggled.
I jumped out of bed,
"Oh you'll like her. She's a real vixen."
I saw a bit of jealously
cross Jens face, "So you've been holding out on me and there's another
woman!" She defiantly stated with her hands on her hips.
I walked over and hugged her,
"I'm a Marine not a sailor so I don’t have a girl in every port. You're
all the woman and the only woman that I need. I'll bet you a kiss and a massage
that you'll approve of this girl."
"You're on Marine. Now
get dressed so we can meet her and I can win this bet."
I checked the temperature; it
was a balmy 25 degrees. I opened the drawers and all my clothes were there,
"My love! Thank you so much for setting up all my drawers just the way
they used to be."
"See! There are
advantages to being stalked by me!" She teased back.
I acted worried, "Oh,
I'd almost forgotten about that."
"You little shit! Don't
think that I can't sense when you're teasing me. Stop stalling I want to meet
your mystery woman." She ordered.
I threw on my clothes, making
sure to layer well and headed towards the kitchen. I walked in the kitchen and
my mouth fell open, this was not my mama's kitchen. There was a large walk-in
freezer and all the appliances were professional, from the gas stove and double
ovens to the sinks and counter tops. Jens walked in, "I made a few changes,
I hope you don't mind."
I grabbed her and kissed her,
"Whoa Marine, save that for later. You've only seen a few of the
changes."
"I don't know where
anything is! Where are the hydration packs?" I questioned.
"Don't worry, this is MY
kitchen now and I MIGHT let you in occasionally." She walked over to a
large pantry that was also new, opened it and handed me a pack. "You're
cleaning the bladders, so if you want to share it'd be great. Besides it's more
fun that way." Then she winked at me.
I swatted her butt, "If
this gets to be any more fun I don’t' know if I’ll be able to stand it. I feel
like a kid with a never-ending Christmas. I thought I knew this house but every
room I go in has a new surprise." I grabbed her again and kissed her as
best I could, "Thank you so much my love. I never dreamed that my - I mean
our house would be like this. It's like a wonderful combination of the old
house and the new house. I have all the good memories of my childhood and the
excitement of our new life together."
She gave me a big smile,
"Good, then my job is done. This was what I planned and hoped would
happen; -it's the hardest thing I've ever done. Moreover, you haven't seen the
whole house yet. Let's go for the run, I can't wait to finally run with you at our
house! And I want to see this bitch you've been talking about."
I laughed, "No, she's
not a bitch. She's a vixen."
Jens shot daggers with her
eyes and I decided that now would be a good time to drop the issue. I filled up
the hydration pack and asked, "Is there any Hudson Bay Bread?"
She looked at me,
"Natch! She walked back to the pantry and gave me four squares, "One
of those is mine, so don't get greedy."
I looked at her, "I have
one more favor to ask. Do you have a piece of meat for Anastasia?"
"Ah, the bitch has a
name! I'm not going to cook any damn meat for her."
I grinned, "It doesn’t
really need to be cooked, she'll eat it raw."
She gave me a very quizzical
look, "What sort of wacko bitch is this? I won't even eat raw meat."
"I keep telling you,
she's not a bitch she's a vixen; so how about a little meat for her?"
"I've got a five finger
sandwich she can munch on." Jens grumped.
I walked over to the
refrigerator and found a nice piece of beef, "This will do." Jens
gave me the evil eye. "Let's go. When you meet her, you'll love her."
"Like hell I will!"
Jens almost shouted.
"Want to bet another
kiss?" I tease.
"You're on. I'm
s-o-o-o-o-o going to win this bet." Jens quipped.
I thought, you're s-o-o-o-o
wrong on this. You're going to owe me big time. If we were married… you'd
really owe me big time!
We walked to the front door;
Jens disabled the security system, we went outside and I started looking around.
"Well, where is she? Do
we meet her on the run?" Jens asked.
I whistled and then I saw a
movement over in the scrub oak, there she was. I walked out in the yard, sat
the piece of beef down, and moved back on the porch.
Nastya the fox came out of
the scrub oak, walked in the yard, sat down and looked at us. I turned to Jens,
"Jens, I'd like to meet Anastasia - Nastya the fox." It almost seemed
like Nastya was smiling at us, she walked over and ate the beef.
"O-h-h-h Ben, she's
s-o-o-o cute. I was so upset at you I thought she was a woman."
I held her hand, "You're
the only woman for me. Nastya has been my running partner for years whenever
I've been home. She stopped running with me when I was training for the
Leadville one-hundred, I never knew why until you told me that you were
watching me. I think you scared her away."
Jens squeezed my hand,
"I'm sorry I was so jealous. I should have known better. You think that
she will run with us today?"
"We can only try and see
what she does. I do know that she's a very forgiving vixen." I answered.
"A-h-h-h, a vixen is a
female fox. Now I understand." She laughed and Nastya jumped but didn't
run away.
I walked off the porch and
looked back at Jens, "You now owe me, what was it, two kisses and a
massage. Come on Arm Candy, move your ass." We started off down one of my
favorite trails and Nastya fell in beside us. When the trail got wider Nastya
moved up to one side of me and Jens the other, "I think that Nastya likes
me. She's a real fox." I started laughing, "Yes she is, but not as
f-o-x-y as my Arm Candy!"
I do think that Nastya
approved of Jens since she stayed with me longer than usual. "Ben, have
you ever touched her?" Jens questioned. "I've never tried; I didn't
want to scare her away. Besides if she bit me I might have to get rabies
shots."
"And what do you need if
I bite you?" Jens sexily suggested. "I think I'd need full spectrum
IV antibiotics." I teased and then took off running hard. "I'm gonna
get you for that." Jens yelled.
She didn't have to as Nastya
slipped up and nipped me on the butt. "Ouch, that's the first time she
ever did that." I yelled. Jens stopped and laughed, "You see, we
girls stick together. You'd better not tease me or Nastya will get you."
Jens and Nastya were standing
beside each other, I swear that it looked like Nastya was smiling. I thought,
damn my women are ganging up on me again. "That's right Honey. You just
remember that we girls stick together." Jens replied sensing my feelings. I
knew better than to start anything so I said, "Last one home is a rotten
egg," and took off for the house. They weren't expecting that and I had a
big lead on Jens, but Nastya caught up to me and started running circles around
me and slowed me down a lot. I heard Jens laughing, "Way to go girl - you
show him how I feel." I slowed up some more and let Jens catch me.
We met Liz on the way back to
the house. She'd also been out running. "You guys didn't wait for
me," then she looked over and saw the fox, "What the hell is this
animal doing with us." Nastya looked at Liz and growled.
I almost fell over laughing.
"At least I won't have to do battle with all three of you. I don't know if
I'd survive."
"L-i-z! That's Nastya,
she's a real fox and my new friend." Jens piped up. Liz eyed her again,
"I thought the only thing foxes were good for is turning into fur
coats." Nastya growled even louder this time, started running circles
around Liz and snapping at her. "Hey! Get this vicious animal away from
me. Ben quick - shoot it."
I started laughing so hard
that I couldn’t run any more. Everyone else stopped and Nastya came over, stood
by me and growled at Liz. The hair was even standing up on the back of Nastya's
neck.
"L-i-z! You'd better
apologize to Nastya. You have her all upset." Jens stamped her foot and
ordered.
"Ben, save me from these
two." Liz begged.
"No way, you three can
figure this out between each other. I'm headed home." I took off running.
I guess they figured things
out because the three of them showed up about 10 minutes later. I had another
piece of beef for Nastya. Jens ran up to me, "Thanks dear, I wanted to
give Nastya another piece of beef for being such a good girl and forgiving
Liz." She took the beef, Nastya walked right up to Jens and took the beef
out of her hand. Jens reached down and petted Nastya a couple times and Nastya
took off for the woods. I was shocked, I had tried for years to pet Nastya and
she'd never even let me get close. Jens walked back, "Close your mouth
you'll let flies get in."
"You're amazing. I've
been trying to do that for years and never could. You're here a day and you
have her eating out of your hand." I sulked.
She smiled at me, "Poor
Ben! You of all people should know I have a way with animals. After all, it
only took me three days to catch you and for two of those days, I was just
playing with you! By the way, close your mouth again." She walked past me
into the house and I heard Liz laughing, "I don't know if that was a
compliment or a putdown, but the look on your face was funny as hell."
I was dazed and didn't know
what the hell to do. So I decided to head to the barn and check things out. I
walked up to the door and noticed a keypad, I tried the code for the house and
it didn't work. Jens's voice came over the intercom, "Wrong code Jarhead,
reverse the one at the house." I tried it in reverse and heard a bunch of
noise and the door went click, I turned the knob walked in and turned on the
light… Jens's voice again, "Close your mouth or your tongue will dry
out."
I couldn't believe my eyes!
The barn was better than ever. My old Dodge 2500 truck was gone, destroyed in
the attack on my cabin. In its place was a brand new 3500 with the Cummins
turbo diesel. As I walked around behind it I noticed that the tailpipe was huge
and got to thinking - they couldn't have. I opened the door and popped the hood
and sure enough someone had done a bunch of work on it. I think it even had a
twin turbo. It looked like the truck of my dreams.
Jens came strolling in the
barn with a cup of coffee and a bowl of oatmeal. She looked amazing, her face
was all fixed up again and she had on skintight Levis and a tight (really
tight) t-shirt. She swayed with the provocative walk that someone had
taught her. I think it was Liz and I really needed to thank her.
"Breakfast is served my love!" She announced.
I jumped out of the cab, went
over, hugged her tight, and gave her a hell-of-a kiss, not even caring about my
lips or the hot coffee spilling down my back. I pulled away and looked at her,
"So, you decided to start with dessert first? It's good to see that you
paid more attention to me than your shiny new toy." She teased.
"You are the shiniest
toy I've ever seen? I'd much rather play with you." I let my hands start
creeping towards her butt. "Honey, not now. We're on TV." She said
and grinned. I looked past her, saw Liz and the crew, and blushed. Jens kissed
my cheek, "I do love you so much when you blush. It tells me that you're
still my little boy. Eat breakfast and then I'll show you all the shiny,
shiny toys!"
She fed me the oatmeal one
sexy spoonful at a time, making sure to blow on and taste each bite, teasing
the hell out of me with her tongue and lips. I was glad that I wore some loose
sweatpants because things were starting to get uncomfortable. She finished the
oatmeal before things got so bad I couldn't walk and then made a big production
out of the coffee. She stuck her finger in it, swirled it around, and very
sexily sucked the coffee off her finger, "There, now you have some sugar
for your coffee." She was lucky the news crew was here, otherwise, I would
have gotten real frisky. I slammed down the coffee and reached for her,
"Not now my love, let me show you the shiny, shiny toys first."
She walked in front of me
with that sexy strut and I was lost! I heard her saying something but what she
said didn't register - my mind was on her toys. "And that's the truck,
what do you think?" I heard her say. I opened my mouth and mumbled, "Truck
good." Laughter filled the barn, "You didn't hear a word I said. Did
you?" "Uh, not really. I was distracted." I mumbled and blushed.
She came over and took my
arm, pressing it tightly against her chest, "I think that I need to walk
beside you for awhile. Otherwise you won't hear a word I say." I slipped
my arm out of her grasp, slid it around behind her, and let it creep into the
back pocket on her jeans, damn they were tight and I could barely get my hand
in. She looked at me, "Behave yourself or I might have to handcuff
you!" But she didn't remove my hand.
We walked over in front of a
red Jeep Grand Cherokee, I was still in a daze. "This is my new car and
it's diesel too. We didn't do anything to the engine, but we did have the
differentials and the transfer case replaced. Do you like it?"
I pulled her close and kissed
her, "Yes I love you." She pulled back and grinned, "The Jeep,
do you like the Jeep?" "Oh yeah, it should be great for you to
drive." I answered. She giggled and I felt butterflies in my heart.
Her cobra was in the next
part of the barn, it was covered with the car cover. Finally there was an old
John Deere tractor that looked like Dad's but in much better shape. It had the
front scoop on it for plowing the road in winter. "This was the easiest
thing to find and it wasn't expensive at all. We did get a gas tractor because
we didn't want to bother with diesel in the winter." Jens recited to me.
She showed me the workbenches
and all the tools. Shit! We even had a pit so we could get under the vehicles
and work on them. It was the perfect barn, I couldn't have asked for anything
more. I had mostly come out of my Jens induced daze and really started looking
around. The concrete floor was all covered with epoxy. Where the workbenches
were located there was rubber to stand on, and I looked at the walls and
noticed they weren't the normal insulated steel building walls and the doors.
They even looked different. "What's going on with the walls and the
doors?" I asked.
She beamed, "So you're
finally noticing the shiny, shiny toys. It's about time."
Jens looked at Liz, "Why
don't you send the crew over to get some video of Mom and Dad." Liz talked
to the team and they left. Jens pulled a PDA out her shirt pocket and hit some
buttons. The shutters closed over the windows and there was a bunch of noise at
the doors.
"Listen Ben and tell me
what you hear." I strained my ears and I couldn't hear anything but us
breathing. "I don't hear anything, not a bird not anything."
"That's right, this
isn't your Papa's steel building. It's a bunker made out of steel reinforced
concrete. And the doors are steel blast doors. The house is built the same way.
I'm not going to have some fucking terrorist blow the hell out of my
family." Jens had switched from beauty queen mode to Marine.
I stared at her as she
repeated, "Close your mouth jarhead."
Liz walked over and said to
me, "So Alice are you ready to go down the rabbit hole?" I was in a
daze again, not because of Jens's beauty but because my mind simply couldn't
get around all the changes.
They lead me into the pit and
I noticed a door with no doorknobs at the back. "Open the door
Marine." Jens ordered. I put my hand against the door and it opened right
up, lights started and I could see a tunnel. I looked quizzically at Jens.
"The door is keyed to
automatically open when one of the family touches it, but it's also designed to
analyze and verify your body, just in case someone decides to cut off your hand
or use fake fingerprints. Go on into the tunnel, nothing's going to bite
you." Jens lectured.
I started down the tunnel as
the door closed silently behind us. The tunnel made a turn and I knew we were
headed towards the house. As I walked the lights came on ahead of me and went
off behind me. I noticed several panels in the wall but didn't ask Jens what
they were. We reached a ladder and I climbed to the top and touched the door,
it opened and I walked into a damn cold room. Jens and Liz scurried up the
ladder after me and the trapdoor closed. I looked around and realized that we
were in the walk in freezer, I went to open the door and Jens said, "Wait.
Let's see who's in the kitchen." She touched a display, it showed the inside
of the kitchen where Mom was making some coffee. "Oh Goodie! Let's scare
the crap out of Mom." Jens said all excited.
She went to the door, swung
it quickly open and shouted, "BOOO!" Mom jumped and spilled the
coffee, "Young lady, I'm tired of you using that to sneak up on me. If you
do that again I'm going to spank your butt."
"I'd be glad to
help," I offered. "So would I," Liz chimed in.
Jens faked a pout, "You
three are no fun. What's the joy of having a secret passage if you can't use it
to sneak up on each other?"
Mom ignored her and looked at
me, "You looked dazed and must need a cup of coffee. I know how I felt the
first time she showed me the rabbit hole." Mom poured me a cup of coffee.
"Thanks, I do need this.
That was amazing and I couldn't tell it was there. What were all the panels
along the wall?" I asked.
"Those are storage for
food, water and weapons." Jens smiled, "They open just like
everything else."
Liz added, "You forgot
to mention the crypt."
Jens stomped her foot and
pouted, "I wanted to surprise him with that later. I thought we might make
a midnight trip to the crypt. I remember how much Ben liked the coffin,"
then she laughed.
I shuddered remembering my
escape from the hospital, "The crypt?"
"Yes my love. The rabbit
hole is the code word for the tunnel; the crypt is the codeword for the
underground bunker." Jens smiled.
I sat down heavily at the
table. The morning had brought so many surprises that I could barely cope with
all of them. The women joined me at the table and started talking to each other
about girl things while I drank my coffee and tried to get my head around all
the changes. I stood up, went to the window and looked out towards the barn.
The landscape looked just the same as it always did. However, right under the
surface there was a tunnel and an underground bunker. I set the coffee cup in
the sink and walked outside trying to trace the path of the tunnel from the
barn to the house. I squatted, looked closely at the ground and didn't discover
a single thing.
Dad walked up and said,
"You're not going to see it or even find it. I don't think you realized
it, but everything is over fifty feet below ground. All the work was done with
subterranean tunneling machines."
"You guys paid for all
this?" I asked.
He laughed, "We started
out paying for it, and paid for most of the cabin. But when Jens showed us what
she wanted we had to switch over and let your company pay for it."
"My company? I don't own
a company." I responded with confusion.
He laughed again, "No,
you own several companies." And he started naming them off to me.
"When did all this
happen?" I asked still feeling like I was lost.
Jens walked up, "When we
were busy becoming America's Sweethearts Daddy was busy investing all the money
we were making. He made some very wise business decisions for us."
Liz walked up, "You may
not know it hero, but when you started the Truth Network it was one of the
wisest things you have ever done. We've made more money in the short time we've
been in business than most networks do in years. America is not only hungry for
the truth, they're starving for information about you two. Do you remember the
movie The Truman Show?"
"Isn't that the movie
where Jim Carey's whole life is a TV show?" I answered.
"Close hero, but you
left off the important part, it was the top rated TV show in the nation.
America is so hungry to see you two that I could do a Truman Show on both of
you."
Jens interrupted, "That
is if I would let them. We do need some privacy."
Liz continued, "Yes
that's right. If I had my way, we'd video everything about you two from the
moment you woke up in the morning till your last kiss goodnight. If I did that
you'd be even richer than you are already."
"We're rich?" I
questioned.
"No, we're really
rich." Liz said.
"H-h-how, much?" I
stuttered.
Dad told me and my mind
simply couldn't take anymore. I needed to do something to give my mind time to
work on this… I needed to go for another run.
I looked at the three of
them, they all had silly grins on their faces. "You know, I'm not sure
what to think about any of this or whether I like it or not. I never wanted to
be rich, and I sure as hell never wanted to own any companies. I'm going for a
run to figure this out."
"We're coming with
you." Jens and Liz piped up.
"I don't think you two
can keep up with me."
"Are you forgetting
hero? I already caught you once." Liz added.
"That was at sea-level.
This is at ten-thousand feet and you're on my turf. There's no way in hell
you're keeping up with me." I challenged.
"You wouldn't want to
make a bet on it would you?" She teased.
"Ben, you'd better not
bet her a massage. Those magic hands of yours are reserved for me and me
alone." Jens stated.
I looked her in the eyes,
"I'm your huckleberry."
Jens sucked in her breath,
"Liz, I only heard him say that phrase once. I think you'd better back
down."
"No way in hell, how
about a thousand dollars." Liz taunted.
I laughed, "If I'm so
fucking rich, why don't we make it ten or fifteen or twenty-thousand. Shit! I
don't care. It's whatever you want to lose."
"I'll tell you what!
I'll kiss your ass if you can beat me." Liz taunted.
"I'm tired of flapping
my lips; try to keep up with me." I took off for the hills.
I started off easy and they
fell in behind me, Nastya even came out of the woods and ran beside me. Liz and
Jens were jabbering to each other and it was irritating me beyond belief. I
wanted peace and quiet to think. I picked up the pace and they did too.
Finally we hit the first
hill, Nastya stopped at the bottom like she always did. She hated running hills
with me. Now I started running for real. I was sucking wind and my legs were
starting to burn from the lactic acid buildup. I heard from behind me,
"Hey slow up. We can't keep up with you." It just motivated me to run
even harder. I was running as hard as I could on this hill and both women were
falling far behind. They were yelling at me, but I couldn't hear them anymore.
I knew myself and I knew this hill - it was steep and about five miles long. At
this pace I would just make the top of the hill and still be able to run.
I looked over my shoulder and
couldn't see the women, I was finally free to work on my problems. I dropped my
pace to a more comfortable speed and started considering all that I had seen
and heard. It was troubling to me because I'd never thought or dreamed of being
rich or owning companies. I'm a Marine, I loved being a Marine and I loved all
that was associated with being a Marine. Being rich or a businessman didn't fit
into those plans and they were serious distractions.
I ran my ass off for two
hours before I decided to head back to the cabin. It took me an hour and a half
to make it back. Everyone was in the yard as I ran up. Jens was pissed
off at me. I smiled, ran up to her, started feeling dizzy and collapsed to the
ground.
Mom ran up, "What did
you all do to Ben? He looks as sick as a dog! Quick, get him upstairs to his
bed right now and don't give me any grief."
Somehow, they helped me up to
my bed, I settled in and slipped off to a fitful nap full of terrible dreams
where I was an evil businessman oppressing all my workers. I think I slept for
an hour, when I woke up, the whole bed was soaked and there was Jens holding me
close and smiling at me.
"Wow, those were some
nasty dreams you were having. Are you going to be okay?"
"You could sense my
dreams? When did that happen?" I asked.
"I've never been able to
before. But I tried really hard because you were tossing and turning and
moaning in the bed. I'm sorry my love, this is my fault, I should have started
telling you sooner and done it more gradually." Jens said and bit her
lower lip. "I was just hoping to give you a big surprise."
I blurted out, "I want
to give it all away. I don't want any of the money. I won't be a rich fat cat
living off other’s misery."
Fire rose in Jens eyes and
she lightly slapped my face, "If you weren't sick I'd slap you so hard that
your teeth would hurt for a week. Listen here Mister! And listen good! If you
think that Daddy or I would do anything like that then you don't know us very
well. As we've become more prosperous so has everyone around us. There's no
oppression of anyone that works with us. You did notice I said works with us
and not for us. They are all wealthy enough they could retire but they love
what they're doing."
"Wh-wh-what about the
businesses that we own?" I stuttered.
"There again, they are
small businesses that needed cash infusions and would have closed if we didn't
help them. All the employees were given raises and are treated fairly. You're
making something out of nothing. Don't you think the news would be ripping us
up if we did anything wrong? They're just vultures waiting for us to make a
mistake. So get your head out of your ass and just accept that you have the
Midas touch, anything you do turns to gold." Jens smiled.
"That's right
hero," I turned and Liz was sitting in a chair on the other side of the
bed. "I'd be ripping you a new one if you'd done anything wrong. Remember,
my network only reports the truth. Right now you could fall in a pile of cow
shit and come out smelling like roses. Jens is right - get your head out of
your ass."
I remembered the last time
I'd heard this many people tell me to get my head out of my ass and figured I'd
better listen before Mom, Dad and even Nastya the fox came in to tell me the
same thing. I sat up in bed and I really did feel better. In fact, it was the best
I'd felt since this whole crazy morning began.
"That's my man! For once
you listened and I didn't need to beat it into your head." Jens smiled at
me.
"I'm getting out of
here," Liz said, "With all the sweating Ben did you guys stink too
much. I even feel like I need to take a shower." She walked out of the
room.
Jens and I looked at each
other. Finally, she said, "We both need to take a shower. Want to do it
together; we'd save water that way?" Her violet eyes twinkled.
"Someday we will. But I
don't think I could take any more excitement today." I replied.
She sighed, "Someday, I
sure am getting tired of hearing that word."
She jumped out of bed and
headed towards the bathroom singing:
First
thing I remember was askin' papa, why?
For there were many things I didn't know.
And daddy always smiled; took me by the hand,
Sayin', someday you'll understand.
Well, I'm here to tell you now each and every mothers son
You better learn it fast; you better learn it young,
cause, someday never comes.
I struggled once again in my
mind with my desires and my honor. I wanted to make someday happen now, at
least for the shower, but I didn't know if I could stop myself at just being
happy with the shower. I made up my mind and walked in the bathroom.
Jens yelled at me, "Hi
Honey. I can sense what you're thinking and I need to tell you that just
knowing that you want to do it makes me feel sooo much better; I was just
teasing you earlier. Now is not a good time because Aunt Flo has been
visiting for the last few days and is being a real bitch; so be a good boy and
go back out and make the bed."
"Who the hell is Aunt
Flo?" I asked.
Jens replied, "You know.
She visits me about this time every month. Don't be stupid about this."
I figured it out and was glad
that Jens couldn't see me blush. I chuckled as I remembered a joke, "Never
trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die."
"Hey! I can sense that
joke and it's not nice." Jens grumped.
"Jens, do you know why
women make terrible musicians?" I yelled at her.
"I'm not sure I want to
know, but I'm sure I don't have a choice."
"It's because they only
know two rhythms, Three weeks jazz time and one week rag time." I laughed
and left the bathroom. I stripped the wet sheets and mattress pad off the bed,
went to the linen closet, found new ones, and made the bed.
I was getting tired of
waiting for Jens to finish so I went back in the bathroom, "If you don't
finish soon I'm going to start telling jokes again."
"Ha, like that would
bother me." She retorted.
"Okay you asked for it.
Do you know why it's called PMS?"
"DUH, it's because we
have to Put up with Male Stupidity." She laughed.
"No, it's because Mad
Cow Disease was already taken."
She flung open the shower
door and started splashing me with cold water, "I'll show you PMS and mad
cow disease combined." I beat feet out of the bathroom and decided that a strategic
retreat was called for. Besides there had to be another shower somewhere that I
could use.
I ran past Mom and laughed,
"This is my house so I can run in it if I want."
"Phew you stink, go
shower." She yelled at me.
Liz and Dad were setting at
the kitchen table, I walked in and Liz plugged her nose, "Oh My God! I
wondered what stank, you didn't shower yet."
Dad said, "Boy you need
a shower."
"I'm trying to find one;
Jens is hogging ours and won't get out." I replied.
Jens and Mom walked in the
kitchen and gave me a dirty look, "You know what he was doing? He was
telling her jokes about Aunt Flo…"
I didn't wait around for a
scolding and ran upstairs to the shower. I figured Dad would fill me in on all
the gory details. The shower felt great and I made sure to block the door so I
wouldn't be interrupted. I stepped out of the shower and ….Shit! All the towels
and my underwear were gone. Somehow, Jens had figured out how to get past the
doorstop and get in the bathroom. I'm lucky she didn't throw cold water all
over me. I wondered if she found the spare towel and underwear beneath the
sink. I opened the cabinet door and found a hand towel, a pair of Jens's thongs
and a note, "You're so predictable, yes I did find your secret stash. You
should be able to barely dry off with the hand towel and my undies should just
about cover the important parts. We are all waiting for you to come out and
give us a show." It was in Jens's lovely handwriting with some nice hearts
added.
I wondered who the hell
"we" were when I heard Liz's voice, "Have you noticed all
women's problems include men? There's MENtal illness."
Jens added,
"PreMENstrual syndrome."
Mom said,
"MENopause."
Liz added, "MENtal
breakdown."
They all laughed and carried
on. Jens yelled, "Hey! Are you coming out soon? Don't let things get too
cold, I've heard about shrinkage." And they giggled like a gaggle of
geese.
I smiled and reached in the
medicine cabinet hoping that she didn't find my second stash. I pulled out a
swimming chamois, a pair of underwear and shorts. They still laughed and
carried on. I dried off and decided to sing Jens a song so I started singing as
loud as I can:
First
class and fancy free
Jens's high society
Jens's got the best of everything
What could a guy like me
Ever really offer?
Jens's perfect as she can be
Why should I even bother?
'Cause Jens's so high...
High above me, Jens's so lovely
Jens's so high...
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
Jens's so high...
High above me
I stopped and listened, and
didn't hear anything so I open the bathroom door a crack and threw out the hand
towel, "I don't need this anymore." They started whistling and
clapping, "We loved the song, come on out so I can give you a kiss for
singing it for me."
I'm wasn't yet so I start
singing the next verse.
Jens comes to speak to me
I freeze immediately
'Cause what Jens says sounds so unreal
But somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
'Cause Jens's so high...
High above me, Jens's so lovely
Jens's so high...
Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
Jens's so high...
High above me
I listened at the door and I
heard some sniffling and Jens said, "Did you hear what he sang for me. I
love that song and he called me Aphrodite." I slipped the door open and
threw out the thongs, "There's no way in hell I'm wearing these, ready or
not I'm coming out."
"Ben n-o-o-o, don't."
Jens yelled.
I threw the door open and
stood there in my shorts with my chamois towel over my shoulder. They had their
eyes covered and were screaming. Jens peeked and said, "That snit, he's
got shorts on." Mom and Liz took their hands away from their eyes and
looked dumbfounded. I started laughing, "Not quite the show you expected?
This is my house and I'm the prank master here. Just so you know, all three of
you can expect retaliation."
Jens cleared her throat,
"Excuse the hell out of me! I thought this was our house!" And acted
upset.
I looked at her and smiled,
"You know! I'm getting better at sensing your feelings so you can drop the
upset act and come over here and give me that kiss you promised."
"Shit! I thought I was
going to get you worried. I'm not sure I like it when you do this." Jens
laughed, jumped off the bed, came over, and hugged me.
I looked at Mom and Liz,
"This is our house and our bedroom and I'm saying that there's entirely
too much estrogen in her so will the FBUs that are not my BTB clear out."
Mom questioned,
"FBUs?"
Jens replied, "Female
Biological Units. Ben watches too much sci-fi on TV."
"Well I never." Mom
acted all indignant and started to leave.
I yelled after her, "If you
never then how did Jens happen."
She turned, blushed, and
rushed out of the room.
Liz started laughing,
"You sure got her goat that time." I looked at her, "Are you
leaving or am I going to demand payment on my bet." She blushed and left
the room.
I looked at Jens, picked her
up, put her gently on the bed, and lay down beside her. "Are there any
more surprises like this that I need to know about?"
She bit her lower lip,
"There are a few, but nothing like todays. Please trust me that now is not
the time to deal with them."
"I'm sorry I didn't
trust you and Dad like I should have. All this is so unexpected and not part of
any of my dreams or wishes and it's hard for me to handle. I don't want this to
change us, or to change me. I like us the way we are and I like being a
Marine."
"That's why everything
is setup so you or I don't have to do anything about it. Daddy has good people
taking care of things; most are Marines that were forced to retire and needed a
chance." Jens replied.
I nodded my head, "Then
I owe Dad an apology and a very big thank you."
Jens kissed me, "What
about me? I helped."
"I was going to give you
a kiss. But if you'd rather have an apology…" I never got to finish my
sentence because she planted a big kiss on my lips. Yes it hurt, but it was
worth it. When we came up for air, I looked at my watch, "Shit! We need to
get going."
"I thought we were
spending the night at home cuddling."Jens said.
"No way! We're meeting a
bunch of old friends at the Silver Dollar in an hour. I need to show off my Arm
Candy." I answered.
That fired Jens up,
"Shit! Don't you know how long it takes for me to get all dolled up now. I
can't be ready to go in ten minutes anymore. Go get Mom and Liz back in here to
help me."
I took off to find Mom and
Liz. Liz laughed and headed right in, Mom was grumpy and I had to apologize to
her before she would help. I walked in the room, it felt like a briefing room
before an exercise. Jens threw some clothes at me and said, "Get out of
here and change. I'll be ready in another twenty."
I knew better than to stay
around so I beat feet to the kitchen. Dad was sitting at the table by himself,
"Things are sure quiet around here."
"Not in my room, it's like
a briefing room before a war." I answered.
He crinkled one eye and
looked at me, "What did you do this time?"
"Nothing, I just told
Jens we needed to be at the Silver Dollar Saloon in an hour to meet my old
friends."
Dad laughed, "Oh boy,
did you open a can of worms. The women have decided that Jens is going to be
dolled up to the max anytime that she goes out in public with you. Next time
you'd better let them know hours ahead of time. Tonight sounds like fun, you
mind if Evelyn and I tag along?"
"I was hoping that
everyone including Liz would come. But I'm not going back up to my bedroom
until things have simmered down. You can go tell them."
"You know you can call
them on the intercom." Dad answered. I shrugged my shoulders. He walked
over to a panel on the wall and pushed a button, "Evelyn, just to let you
know. We're going with kids to the Silver Dollar tonight and I want you to look
your best." I heard a bunch of swearing and Dad turned off the intercom
and started laughing.
That looked like fun so I
turned on the intercom and pressed the same button, "Jens I'm leaving in
five minutes better be down here or I'll leave you at home. By the way Liz is
coming too." Wow could those women swear. I heard Jens yell, "If you
know what's good for you, you'd better patiently wait for us."
I looked around the kitchen
and was hungry, I realized that I only had a bowl of oatmeal to eat all day. So
I decided to rustle up something to eat, "You hungry Dad?"
"I'm starving." He
answered.
The kitchen was so different
that it took a bit of searching to find a skillet and the other fixings. I
whipped us up a couple bacon and grilled cheese sandwiches, some potato chips
and two beers. We sat at the kitchen table and enjoyed our meal. I looked up
when I heard Jens clear her voice. Once again she looked amazing, like every
cowboys wet dream. Her makeup was perfect again! She had on a cute white
western shirt, tied at the waist that showed off her washboard belly and a
short little western skirt that barely covered her ASSets, a white Stetson hat
and matching Tony Lama boots. I knocked the chair over as I got up and ran over
to her, "You look fantastic."
She twirled showing me that
at least she wasn't going commando or in a thong - her short skirt had matching
panties. She said in her best Texas drawl, "Why thank ya sir. Really this
is nothin'. I heard there was an ornery despicable desperado down here that
thought he could dance and wanted to take this young filly out two-stepin'
tonight."
"I'm your huckleberry,"
I drawled in answer.
She sashayed around me
looking at me as if I was a horse, "Well, I guess ya’ll have to do. I do
hope that an OLD cowpoke like you can keep up with a wild young filly like
me."
"Don't worry missy, I
ain't met a filly yet that I can't rope, tie and ride. If I'm a lyin' I'm a
dyin."
She sashayed her sexy walk up
to me and grabbed my shirt, "Put yer money where your mouth is cowboy.
If'n yourn' real good I might consider hirin' you on permanent, I need me a hired
man with a slow hand an' a easy touch. Cause this filly's a wild mustang and
needs to be treated with respect. I ain't never been roped, tied or
ridden."
She leaned in, kissed me, and
then pulled away. "Gosh that was fun! I can't wait until we're married."
Liz was laughing her ass off,
"You two crack me up. Wait until that hits the news, we're going to make a
fortune." Jens blushed a little, "You don't think I was… well…
too much over the top do you?"
Liz continued, "Honey,
men are going to be having wet dreams to this for years to come."
Jens scowled, "Ewww
gross…" Then she changed her mind, "Really, you think I'm that sexy
in this outfit." And did another pirouette.
I grabbed her, hugged, and
kissed the hell out of her, "Sexy! Hell yes! If you act like that in the
Silver Dollar I'm going to have to beat the hell out of every man in the
place."
She bit her lower lip,
"I think I want one more accessory for my outfit. Do you think it would be
okay if I wore my Colts?"
Liz piped up, "Jens the
guns will ruin the effect of the dress and you won't be able to twirl."
She pouted, "Damn, I
really like those guns."
"Colorado is an open
carry state. I'll bring my Kimber." I answered. I put a holster on my belt
and slipped my Kimber with three extra mags in it. Dad looked at me,
"Expecting trouble?"
Jens laughed, "He
started carrying three extra mags after he almost ran out in Hawaii."
Liz stepped back and looked
at me, "You know with a little beard and a cowboy hat… you'd look a bit
like Chuck Norris."
Jens purred, "Mmm, I
love Chuck Norris, he's so sexy. You do know that I'm naming three of our
twelve children: Walker and Texas and Ranger."
"Tw-tw-twelve
children." I stuttered, "When did we decide on twelve children?"
She smiled, "You're
right. I don't think twelve is enough."
Liz, Mom and Dad all started
laughing and I figured I'd been setup again so I decided to get even. "You
know, if I'm going to have twelve children I think I'm going to need at least
one more wife and maybe a couple of mistresses to take care of me while the
first wife is knocked up."
The laughter immediately
stopped and I had a room full of grumpy looking people, I smiled,
"Gotcha!"
Jens came over and smiled,
"So you don' think I'm woman enough to handle you?"
Damn! Another unanswerable
question - Jens loved doing that. "I refuse to answer this question on the
grounds that I might incriminate myself or be seriously hurt."
Everyone started chuckling as
I wormed my way out of yet another sticky situation.
I looked around the room,
"Which car are we taking?"
"Let's take the
Jeep." Jens replied. Liz added, "We've got the news van so we will
take that."
"Well Pilgrims, let's
head em up and move em out. We're burning daylight." I said imitating John
Wayne.
We walked over to the barn,
Jens entered the code on the keypad, and the car doors opened. We all jumped in
the Jeep, Jens in the driver's seat and she started it up. "This is going
to seem pretty boring after the Cobra, but it will be great for hauling all our
children."
"I don't think it will
be big enough." I teased, "I think you need a mommy van."
"Pul-eze, I'm never
going to drive one of those pieces of shit. I'm not that old or frumpy."
She shot back.
Dad added from the back,
"You can't haul twelve children in this."
"You're right, if we're
going to have twelve children I think Ben will have to get a new Peterbuilt –
semi that is." She and Dad started laughing and Mom was upset. "Young
lady, I hope you don’t' kiss me with that mouth."
"Okay Mom, I
won't." Jens quipped.
"Well I never," She
said then looked at me, "Young man, don't you dare say it again!"
I kept my mouth shut for
once.
On the drive to the Silver
Dollar we drove by a big herd of elk, "Damn! I'm going to miss all the
meat that was in my freezer, I could go for some elk or venison right
now." Dad added, "I haven't had any elk for a long time. Is it
hunting season?"
"We just missed the elk
and deer season west of I-twenty-five, the next one won't come until October
and we'll be gone by then. I'll talk to one of my friends and see if we can get
some steaks from them." I replied. "That'd be great if you
could." Dad said.
We pulled up to the Silver
Dollar and it looked to be busy, "Jens, please head up the street and
let's see if we can find a parking place." I asked. Jens maneuvered around
and found a place to park. I jumped out of the Jeep and opened her door,
"Okay Arm Candy, do your job."
She sashayed over, grabbed my
arm pulling it tight against her, winked and said. "Candy is dandy but sex
won't rot your teeth." We started strolling towards the front door.
I stumbled, caught myself,
leaned over and whispered, "I thought things were closed for repair?"
She swatted me on the butt,
"Don't you know there's more than one way to do it?" Then gave me an
innocent smile.
I blushed which must have
been the desired effect because she kissed me on the cheek and whispered,
"Just so you remember. I may be just your arm candy right now, but someday
will come!"
I opened the door and we
walked in, the Silver Dollar was already rocking tonight. Several friends saw
us walk in and started yelling and clapping, soon the whole bar was following
their lead. It was damn embarrassing! I was trying to turn and escape but Jens
had a tight grip on my arm and wouldn't let go. "Quit fighting me and
enjoy yourself. These are your friends and praise from them is honest." We
walked in and the best table in the place was reserved for us, "Tonight
you’re the king and this is your court so enjoy it." I helped Jens into
her chair and sat down, Jens moved her chair so close to mine that she was
practically in my lap. "You're crazy if you think I'm going to let go of
your arm in here. This bar is full of women on the prowl and you’re the
prey." Jen told me, "Just a reminder, you're only dancing vertically
or horizontally with me tonight."
I do have to admit, the women
were dolled up more than usual, especially for a Tuesday night. Plus there was
much more skin showing than normal. As soon as we sat down Sally the waitress
walked over and she looked great. She was in a skintight t-shirt and very
short, tight, shorts. I'd seen more clothes on waitresses at Hooters. She sat a
couple pitchers of Coors on the table and poured me a frosty mug. The whole
time she was eyeing me, "Sally, I'd like you to meet my incredible fiancée
Jens." She nodded her head curtly towards Jens and walked off.
Jens leaned over and
whispered, "You did good Marine. So how long were you with her?" I
turned red, "Jens, I was never…" She cut me off with a kiss and then
when she pulled away, "Don't you try lying to me, remember that I can
tell; besides from the looks of things I figure you were friendly with about
half the women in this bar." Now that was a huge exaggeration and I was
going to tell her until I noticed the twinkle in her eyes, she was bullshitting
me. I glanced around the room, "More like three-fourths of the
women." That earned me a kick under the table, she leaned over, "You
big liar! Even in your perverted dreams you weren't that lucky."
I spent the next hour or so
greeting all my old friends and signing autographs in the manner that Liz had
taught me. Jens was a big hit with all my friends and many asked us for dual
autographs. A couple asked her to dance and she acted shy and told them she
only danced with me. The women were definitely interested and I made sure with
them that my introductions of Jens left no openings. Jens would squeeze my arm
when one of the women had been a friend with benefits, each time I would blush.
When there was a lull in the greetings Jens whispered, "Yes I can tell by
the way they look at you, the way they treat me and the extra special way you
introduce me to them. Just remember you're coming home with me tonight." I
kissed her on the lips, "Why would I want to go home with anyone but the
best." She smiled, "Let's dance. I want to show off."
We spent the next hour
dancing and Jens was indeed showing off. Several times people tried to cut in
and a couple women tried to worm their way in when we were dancing fast dances,
but Jens held them all at bay. The last woman was getting Jens upset. I stopped
dancing and escorted Jens to our table, and we sat down.
Jens slammed down a full mug
of beer, "Whew that was fun but tiring. It was hard work keeping all those
women away from you. That last bitch was real persistent and I was getting
ready to deck her."
"Jens, don't worry about
her, she was the school beauty queen slut and never even talked to me when I
was in school. I don’t know why she thinks I'd be interested in her when I've
got someone so much better." That earned me a smoking kiss. Beverly walked
over to the table, "Ben, it's good to see you after all these years. Why
don't you introduce me to your little friend?" I felt Jens tense as she
was holding my arm. "Beverly, it's so funny that after all these years
you're finally talking to me. I'd love to introduce you to the only woman in
the world for me - my fiancée Jennifer Donaldson. She's ten times the woman
you'll ever be."
Jens was grinning and Beverly
walked away, "You'll never know what you're missing." She quipped.
Jens replied, "Yeah, probably a case of crabs and the clap."
Beverly came back, "What
did you say you little titless slut?"
"I said, if I had a dog
with a face like yours I'd shave its ass and make it walk backwards." Jens
shot back and went to get up, but I held her down.
Beverly went to lunge at Jens
and a couple of my friends grabbed her and took her away. "That bitch, I
should go and kick her ass." Jens was all fired up.
"Hey! I thought I was
the bad ass that was suppose to get into the bar fights. If you keep this up
I'm going to leave you at home next time I go out. I think we need to go home
now!" I scolded her.
She moped and said, "I'm
sorry Ben. I fought so long to get you; I didn't think I'd have to continue
fighting to keep you."
I held her hands and looked
her in the eyes, "That's because you don't really believe me and that
really insults and hurts me. How many times do I have to tell you
that you're the only woman for me. There's nothing that Beverly or any woman
can do that will change my love for you. Even when Jugs kissed me in Gunny's
all it did was make me almost puke. I cannot stand the thought of ever being
with another woman, it makes me physically ill. So get over your unfounded
jealously and believe me and trust that you're the only woman for me."
Tears formed in her eyes as I
dropped her hands, stood up and walked out the door. I crossed the street,
turned left, headed down to The Delaware Hotel, and took a room for the night.
I made a quick phone call to Liz's mobile phone, told her I was fine that I
just needed some time to myself and don't try to find me. Then I told the desk
clerk Kevin, my friend, not to tell anyone I was there.
I shucked my clothes jumped
under the covers and was practically asleep when there was a knock at the door.
Shit! I wonder who that could be. I grabbed the robe out of the bathroom and my
Kimber from the table and looked through the peephole. It was Liz, what the
hell was she doing here. "Go the fuck away." I yelled. She banged on
the door loud enough to wake the dead, "Better open up. I'm going to bang
this door until you do."
"I'll call the front
desk and have you thrown out." I grumped. "No you won't. I charmed
Kevin and he's now my friend. Open up this door." She started kicking it.
I opened the door and she
pushed Jens into the room, "Did someone here call for a very apologetic
fiancée. You two had better work this out tonight or I'm going to make both of
you look like assholes to the whole world tomorrow." She slammed the door
and left.
I stood there looking at
Jens. She was standing there with her head down and was crying. I reached out
and took her hands.
China Northeast of
Khudabah, Pakistan – Day Eleven
My attempts at sleeping
aren't working. It's cold like most nights now, so cold that even with my
blanket I'm quaking like the leaves on an aspen. The girls huddle together
under three blankets to share warmth so they're fine. Sometime after midnight I
finally get tired of freezing my ass off and decide to do something about it. I
decide to get up, put some blackout covers on the headlamps and start driving.
Driving in the desert in the
middle of the night with the stars all out and no moon relaxes me. For a brief
period of time I forget I'm in China and driving back to Pakistan. I remember
being in 29 Palms when we'd go in convoy in the middle of the night.
Silently I thank my Dad for
the many times he forced me to do orienteering drills. It takes all those
skills now just to keep from getting lost. I'm sure getting pissed that it's
taking so damn long to get anywhere. But I remember times I'd traveled in
convoys in Iraq and how they barely made 25 miles an hour. At least we’re
covering more ground here, but we have such a long way to go. My mind's made
up: Even though the route through Pakistan is slower, we have to get the hell
out of China! I'm sure the chopper crew radioed our location and description to
their commanders. Shooting down their Hind would be just like the time I threw
a rock through a hornets' nest. It wasn't going to be long till all hell broke
loose and I'm amazed that it hasn’t hit yet.
We're really up shit creek. I
think of taking the girls back and leaving them with Aamir and Ivan, but I know
it would be a huge fight and to be truthful I would miss both of them. Yasmeen
is such a sweet young girl and reminds me of the loving side of Jens - Zarika
is fiery and reminds me of the warrior Jens. Plus I have a feeling that I'll
need them before this is over. So we continue to travel at night and find a
good place to hide during the day.
We're in Pakistan and heading
north towards Afghanistan when it starts to get light and the girls start
stirring. Yasmeen yawns and looks at me, "Ben, where are we?"
"Good morning little
sister, we're in Pakistan." I reply.
"She blinks her eyes and
gives me a worried look, "You are not going to take us back to Mama and
Papa?"
"I thought about it, but
I decided not to." I answer.
That wakes Zarika, "You
had better not try. We would just run away. Ben, we need to stop to take care
of some business and eat some breakfast."
"I'll find a good place
to stop, can you wait awhile?"
"I can, how about you
Yasmeen?" Zarika replies.
"I can wait for about
thirty minutes." Yasmeen answers.
We start looking for a good
place to stop, hopefully one that might let us hide all day. "Ben, there
is a little canyon over there." Yasmeen points - again showing she has
extra sharp eyes. Heading the truck toward the canyon, we stop and Yasmeen and
Zarika jump out. I turn the truck around and slowly back the truck into the
canyon while Zarika guides me and Yasmeen uses a bush to erase our tracks. The
canyon opens up and we can drive far enough back so we can't be seen from the
road. I shut the truck down, hop out and grab some supplies from the back.
"I'll be back in a few minutes. I want to setup a booby trap in case we
have visitors."
"Ben, what is a booby
and how do you trap it?" Yasmeen asks. I chuckle, "Ask your sister
she knows everything."
I improvise a claymore with a
hand grenade, some C4 and a can of nuts and bolts and stretch the trip wire
across the narrow part of the canyon. If someone or something comes through
here we should know. Trotting back to camp I warn the girls, "Don't go to
the front of the canyon, I have a bomb up there."
"Ben, did you think it
was funny to tease me about trapping a booby. I do not know why you want to
trap someone's breast." Yasmeen complains with a sniffle.
I look over at Zarika and she's
grinning. "Yasmeen, Zarika has pulled a trick on both of us. A booby trap
is a bomb set to surprise anyone not paying attention as they come this
way." Yasmeen looks at Zarika and she sticks out her tongue. Zarika does
the same thing back. It makes me laugh to see that these two acting more like
sisters all the time.
"It is time to
eat," Zarika announces. We walk over and grab a plate of food, I start
getting ready to eat and I notice that Zarika and then Yasmeen cross themselves
and then bow their heads – more reminders of Jens. I don't wait and dig right
in, I don't know how she does it but Zarika is a fine cook.
"Ben, are you not
thankful for your food?" Yasmeen asks.
"I'm very thankful for
my food. It's very tasty."
"Then why do you not
pray before you eat?"
"I don't know, I guess I
never learned how." I reply.
"That is silly, a grown
man like you not knowing how to pray. I will teach you." Yasmeen comes
over to instruct me. I look at her apprehensively and finally confess,
"Yasmeen, I know how to pray, it's just that I never do it." She
looks at me with shock and then disbelief and takes my food, "No more food
for you until you pray," giving me a defiant look.
I cross myself in the proper
Orthodox fashion and start the Lord's Prayer:
Отче наш, сущий на небесах.
Да святится имя Твое;
да приидет Царствие Твое;
да будет воля Твоя
и на земле как и на небе;
хлеб наш насущный дай нам на сей день,
и прости нам долги наши как и мы прощаем должникам
нашим,
и не введи нас в искушение
но избавь нас от лукавого.
Ибо Твое есть Царство и сила и слава во веки. Аминь.
I finish and cross myself
again. Yasmeen smiles and gives me back my food. "There, now we all know
that you are thankful for your food." Zarika's grins - damn they set me up
for this.
"Yasmeen, how is it that
you became Orthodox?" I ask.
"Papa and Mama are not
Pakistani, they are actually from Kazakhstan. But living in Pakistan they found
it was easier to pretend to be muslim."
As this fact registers in my mind,
many things finally click into place. Now I know why they seem so different and
out of place to me. "But yet they were willing to have you married to me
when they thought I was muslim?"
She laughs, "We knew
right away that you were not Tajik, and that you were not muslim. At first we
thought you might be Russian, but quickly decided that you were American."
Zarika adds, "You can
pass for being Russian or other European, but you can not pass for being Tajik
or muslim. That is why we have to keep you out of sight when we meet
people."
"What is it that gives
me away?"
"It is not one big
thing, but many little things and mannerisms." She answers.
"Do you think you can
teach them to me?"
She grins, "I do not know,
what is the famous saying in your country? You cannot teach and old horse how
to drink water."
I chuckle, "My little
sister, you may be smart but you still don't know everything. The saying is
‘you can't teach an old dog new tricks.’"
"Then we will make a
deal with you. Yasmeen and I will teach you to act like a Tajik or Kazak
muslim, and you will teach us more about America." I hold out my hand to
shake but she isn't sure what to do, so I show her how to shake hands.
"That is your first lesson."
We spend the next hour
learning about each other's culture. It's very interesting but I'm getting
tired, finally I open my mouth and yawn.
"Ben, you need to get
some sleep." Yasmeen tells me and Zarika adds, "You go to sleep under
the truck and Yasmeen and I will take our rifles and go to the top of the
canyon and keep watch." She makes a nice bed for me out of the blankets,
hands me my Dragunov and she and Yasmeen take off with their rifles. My head
hits the ground and I'm out like a light.
Son-of-a-bitch! I'm right in
the middle of a hot dream about Jens in a slinky negligee on our wedding night
and she's doing this s-e-x-y strip tease for me - when the sound of an
explosion and AK fire wakes me. I hate being awakened by explosions and gun
fire and I'm pissed-off! I grab the Dragunov and roll out from under the truck.
Shit! It looks like we have company. A Chinese troop truck is sitting at the
front of the canyon with both front tires flat. I guess my improvised claymore
worked better than expected. The girls are shooting the shit out of the troops.
I'm not going to let them have all the fun so I brace my rifle against the
truck and start helping out. We've just about wiped them out when the three
that are left decide to turn tail and run. Do you know what happens when you
run from a sniper? You die tired! I take aim and the three Chinese fulfill
their duty.
I wave to the girls and they
wave back, Yasmeen starts coming down the canyon to meet me and Zarika stays
where she is. We go to check the area for survivors; I pull my pistol just in
case. As Yasmeen walks past one Chinese, he raises up to shoot her. She jumps
as I yell and fire two rounds in his head.
"Yasmeen, go back by the
truck and wait for me. I don't want you getting hurt." I order.
"But Ben, you might need
help." She complains.
"Yasmeen do as you're
told or I will spank you. I will call you if I need any help."
"Zarika told me that men
in your country like to spank their wives. Is that true?" She gives me an
innocent smile.
"I guarantee that if I
spank you and Zarika neither of you will like it. Now do as you're told."
She pouts and heads back to
the truck. I very carefully work my way through the troops and find two that
are still alive but seriously wounded. I make sure to take their weapons and
motion for Yasmeen to come and help me. We move them over by our truck, into
the shade and try to make them comfortable.
"Yasmeen, please go in
the back of the truck and get my medical supplies." She comes back with
the supplies and sets them beside me.
I don't speak Chinese, but I
wonder if they speak any Russian, "Do either of you speak Russian?"
The first soldier is too sick to respond the second replies, "I speak a
little Russian."
"Good. Look neither of you
are going to live, but I'm going to make you as comfortable as I can before you
die. Tell your friend this for me."
He spoke to him in Chinese
and his friend nodded his head. I prepare a couple of morphine injections,
"This is morphine and will help take away your pain." He told his
friend and I injected both of them.
"Why are you doing this
for us?" The one asks.
"First, what's your
name?" I reply.
"I am Xing. But why
would the American Ghost Wolf do this for us?"
"I do not understand who
is this Ghost Wolf?" I ask.
Xing replies, "If you
are the one that escaped from Khudabah with the truck and gold, then destroyed
the Taliban camp and shot down our helicopter then it is you."
Yasmeen giggles, "My
brave husband-uh-brother has a new name, volk-nevidimka1."
1 Literally Wolf the invisible being
Xing looks at her, "And
this girl is one of your devy-voina2?"
2 Warrior Maidens – literally maidens of the soldier.
Yasmeen has a huge giggling
fit. I give her a dirty look, "She is one of my adopted sisters."
Xing, sits up, "It's an
honor to have met you and to die an honorable death." The other Chinese
soldier starts moaning so I give him another injection, knowing that it will
kill him.
Xing says, "Wait, before
you give me another injection will you do a favor for this dying soldier. In my
pocket is a letter to my family, will you make sure they receive it?"
I fight back the tears as I
take the letter out of his pocket. Xing notices, "What we were told about
you was not true, you are an honorable man. I should not tell you this, but I
am dead anyway. This whole area knows about you three, the gold and the truck.
You will need to be very careful and lucky or you will be caught. And if you
are caught, they will not show you the compassion that you have shown me."
Xing salutes me and then passes out; I give him the final injection of morphine
and watch as the life ebbs from his body.
I stand up and move their bodies
to the side of the canyon. Then I go back and search the other bodies for
letters to their families, each soldier has one. As I find them I hand them to
Yasmeen, "Guard these letters, we will make sure they are delivered."
I look at the disabled truck
and realize that it's blocking the entrance and exit to the canyon. Shit! I
didn't think about this. Yasmeen walks up and notices that I'm thinking,
"Ben what is the problem?"
"The truck is blocking
the canyon and I'm not sure that we can drive out." I answer. I jump in
the truck and try to start it. It starts right up but when I put it in gear it
barely moves because of the two flat tires. I hop out of the cab and find it
has two spare tires; it looks like I'm going to be changing tires. "Yasmeen,
please grab some RPGs, some water and some food. Give some to Zarika and go
back to the top of the canyon and watch to make sure we don't have any more
visitors. I need to change the tires on this truck before I can move it."
She runs off and I get to work
changing the tires. At least the Chinese military supplies are better than the
crap they sell to America. I find a piece of wood to help support the jack and
start changing the tires but it's hot sweaty work and I have to take more
breaks than I would like. Every time I stop and rest I get more pissed at
Hussein for stealing my strength. Someday I'm going to kill that goat fucker! I
finish with the last tire and slump down in the shade of the truck to rest and
catch my breath.
Yasmeen is running down the
canyon wall towards me, at first I get worried that we have guests, but she
appears to be more interested in me. She runs up, "Ben are you okay?"
"I'm fine; I'm just
tired and needed to rest." I answer.
"I was so worried when I
saw the way you fell down and thought you were sick again."
I stand up, jump in the cab
and start the truck. I put it in gear and drive it easily into the canyon and
pull in beside our truck. Yasmeen runs and catches up to me, "Ben I have
been thinking about what Xing said."
I interrupt, "Yes you
and Zarika are my devy-voina."
"No Ben not that, listen
to me. Xing said that everyone is looking for our truck. Maybe we could change
our truck for this truck?"
I'm in shock, wondering why I
didn't think of this. I was too focused on solving the truck being in our way
and didn't bother to think of anything else, if Jens was here she'd kick my
butt. "That is an excellent idea and I'm very proud that you thought of
it. Let me look carefully at this truck and decide."
I hop out of the cab and give
her a big hug, it surprises her and she lets out a squeal! I hear a noise from
up on the canyon wall and noticed that Zarika was jumping up and down and
looking upset, "Ben you will have to make sure that you hug her too or she
will be grumpy all night long." I wave to Zarika and it looks like she
flips me off. Yasmeen laughs, "Oh yes, she is very upset at us."
I start inspecting the truck
and the first surprise is all the weapons in the back of the truck. I find a
bunch of Anza missles3, 63-1 Mortars4, 69 RPGs5,
and a crapload of AKs, AK mags, and uniforms. But the biggest surprise was the
M996 sniper rifle. There are also a bunch of Chinese field rations
that I wouldn't even feed to a dog.
3 Chinese equivalent of the American Stinger.
4 Probably the smallest mortar in the world.
5 Chinese copy of the Russian RPG7.
6 Chinese anti-material sniper rifle 12.7x108 a poor
copy of a .50 BMG (12.7x99) shoots about 1.5 MOA.
Next I look over the mechanical
structure of the truck, the engine and the running gear. It's in excellent
condition, the body is a bit beat up from my fake claymore. I check the tire
size and it's the same as our truck so that seals the deal.
"Yasmeen, if you weren't
my sister I'd kiss you! This is an excellent truck and your idea is
incredible." She runs over to me and surprises me with a kiss on the lips.
I jump back and she starts giggling, "Surprise! I kissed you anyway my
Ghost Wolf." I hear a huge amount of noise from Zarika's outpost - she'd
seen the kiss, is irate and is heading our way. "Uh oh, you are in big
trouble now. Your sister is upset." I say.
I climb in the truck and move
it close to the back of ours. Zarika is almost here. I start moving the equipment
from one truck to the other. "Ben, you will protect me from her,
right?" Yasmeen pleads.
"No way! You know better
than to kiss me like that, now you will have to pay the price."
"I think that I will go
and stand guard until Zarika settles down." Yasmeen says and beats a hasty
retreat to her outpost.
Zarika arrives and is
swearing up a storm, "Where is that little bitch, I'm going to pull her
hair out. Why did you let her kiss you!"
"Wait a minute! Don't
blame me, she ambushed me."
Zarika stamps her foot, just
like Jens, "First she gets a hug and then she gets a kiss, I want one of
each too!"
I stop moving the gear,
"I'll gladly give you a hug, but no kisses. We're brother and sister and
they don't kiss." I gave her a big hug and I could feel her shaking from
her anger, as I pulled away she grabbed me and kissed me on the lips trying to
force her tongue in my mouth.
I am tired of this shit and
need to nip it in the bud. I grab her, put her over my knee and spank the hell
out of her. "Ouch Ben, that hurts. Please stop, I will never do it
again." I let her loose and she rubs her butt, "I heard that was fun,
but it was not fun at all. I hope you never do that to me again." She
starts crying, "Why did you not spank Yasmeen like that. She started
it."
Yasmeen runs up, "I want
to be spanked too!" So I spank the hell out of her. She is yelling and
complaining, "Ben, you are hurting me. Stop please."
They both look at me like I'm
an ogre, then they see the tears start down my cheeks. Zairka asks me,
"Why are you crying? We are the ones that are hurt, not you."
"I hate what I did to
both of you! I do not like hurting women, and the spankings hurt me much more
than they hurt you. But I had to make both of you realize that I will not allow
this to happen again. If either of you kiss me like that again you will not be
my little sisters. Now both of you back to your outposts and leave me
alone." I order.
They slink off to their
outposts in tears and leave me to deal with my self-rage for having spanked
both of them. I channel the energy into moving the gear and it helps. When I
get to the fuel drums and the gold I back the trucks together and slide the
supplies over.
I motion for them to come back
to the truck and they both hightail it down the slope. Zarika makes it first
and runs up and hugs me, "I am sorry Ben and I will not do that again.
Please do not send me away." Yasmeen is right behind her and joins in on
the hug, "Yes Ben, I was a bad girl for starting it. Please do not ever
spank me again. It was not fun like Zarika said it would be. My bottom still
hurts." I spend a couple minutes consoling them and pull away. "We
need to change our clothes." I announce and toss them each a new Chinese
uniform.
Zarika figures it out,
"Ah, if we're in a Chinese truck, we need to look Chinese." She
starts stripping out of her clothes right in front of me; I blush and turn
away, "Zarika and Yasmeen please do not undress in front of me."
They both giggle, "We're sorry we will not do that again." I
think yeah right, you two still haven't learned. Damn! I need to get home
before something bad happens with these two.
I find three corpses that are
about our size, put them in our old truck and take the other bodies to hide
them in a little cave. Then I take an RPG and collapse the cave on them. I
change into a Chinese uniform, it's damn uncomfortable and doesn't fit worth
shit. I pull our new truck far away from the old truck, hop out and grab
another RPG and blow the hell out of the old truck, watching to make sure that
the extra fuel I left in it ignites. The truck becomes a flaming mess sending
billows of smoke into the air.
As the sun sets, I hop in the
cab of our new truck ready for another night of driving. "Ben will you
sing that road song again?" Zarika pleads. "What road song?"
Yasmeen asks. "Just listen, he will sing us to sleep."
I start singing:
On
the road again
Just can't wait to get on the road again
The life I love is makin' music with my friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again
On the road again
Goin' places that I've never been
Seein' things that I may never see again,
And I can't wait to get on the road again.