Chapter 006

Home 2 Chapter 006

Copyright 2013 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia 


Flashback – Masha – At the hospital


Tatiana was totally immersed in her love for Ben and made an extremely large tactical error. Her ill-thought and ill-timed kiss of Ben had done the one thing as intelligence operatives we needed to avoid – it focused attention on her.


One of the reporter's questioned her directly, "Nurse, how long have you known Sgt. Blaine?"


She blushed and Ben unfortunately answered, "Tatiana was my flight nurse and was assigned by President Putin to be my personal nurse."


The stupid reporter from CCCN sarcastically asked, "Just how personal are you two?"


Unfortunately, Tatiana did not control her emotions and she blushed in such an obvious manner it was evident to everyone they were extremely personal.


Then Ben performed a most startling action…


Flashback – Glen


I ignored Evelyn's fucking order to me because it was bullshit and I needed to figure out what the hell was going on in Russia. Sgt. Blaine got a hell of a kiss from a nurse that looked like a supermodel and then the press began grilling the hell out of her.


I couldn't believe it when the fucking CCCN reporter asked how 'personal' they had gotten, and from the way the nurse blushed I knew that Sgt. Blaine had nailed her - that lucky as hell devil-dog!


Then Sgt. Blaine went crazy! Damn, where was the Colonel? She was supposed to be keeping him in line…


Flashback – Jens


I had cried myself to sleep after seeing MY BEN kiss that female dog Russian spy! How could he do that after sending me the wonderful roses and the card which said he loved ME?


Later, mother threw open the door to my room (which scared the heck out of me) and announced, "Jennifer, I thought you should know that the same Sgt. Blaine that sent you roses and said he loved you has been having sex with some beautiful Russian nurse!"


I pretended to still be asleep but mother continued, "Jennifer, I know you're awake because you jumped when I opened the door. Now answer my question. What about your precious Sgt. Blaine now?"


I was tired, hurt and more than a little sick. I sat up in bed looked at my mother and unwisely swore, "Mother, go fuck yourself!"


Flashback – Ben – At the hospital


I couldn't fucking believe the CCCN reporter asked what she did. And from the way Tatiana blushed everyone knew the answer! This was the final fucking straw that broke this camel's back!


I reached down, released the brakes on my wheelchair and pushed it with all my might! I ran into the fucking CCCN reporter bitch, knocked her on her ass, fell on top of her and whispered in her ear, "If you keep this up, the only way you're leaving Russia is in a casket." Then I punched the hell out of her just for good measure!


My Spetsnaz team helped me back into the wheelchair as the CCCN bitch loudly complained, "He threatened to kill me."


I gave the cameras my best innocent look and replied, "I don't know what she's talking about - she must be totally crazy." Then I asked (actually commanded?), "Yuri, do you think you could escort the crazy as a moon bat CCCN news crew out of the building? They are Chechen sympathizers and represent a terrorist threat."


I grinned as Yuri and my Spetsnaz team once again removed the CCCN news crew…


Flashback – Colonel Maggie – At the hospital


My phone rang again, it was again Glen and he complained, "Where the hell are you? Sgt. Blaine just attacked the CCCN reporter."


I thought, that didn't surprise me, then I explained, "Sorry Sir, I was detained with the Major."


Glen questioned, "So did the Major admit to sending my daughter the flowers?"


I answered, "Not yet Sir, but I'm working on it."


He delivered an ultimatum, "If he hasn't confessed by tomorrow morning my time, you two are headed to Thule."


I hung up the phone, the Major laughed and said, "So, we're going to Thule together."


I was tired of him so I punched his lights out again. Damn, sometimes I wish he had not escaped from the terrorists…


Flashback – Glen


I called the Colonel to light a fire under her ass and found out she was with the damn Major. Hell, the only one who was doing what he was supposed to do in Russia was Sgt. Reynolds! And that surprised the hell out of me since usually, he was a pain in the ass.


The Spetsnaz team escorted the CCCN crew out of the room and then the rest of the interview continued in Russian. It looked like Sgt. Blaine had calmed down so I decided to head home, even though I dreaded the expected turmoil.


I parked the car in the garage, noticed Evelyn's car hadn't been moved today and braced myself as I entered the house. If she had stayed home all day, that meant she would be hammered. I didn't even get inside when Evelyn shrieked at me, "Glen, you will not believe what your daughter said to me today."


I knew better than to say anything so I let Evelyn continue, "Glen, your daughter told me, her loving and only mother, to 'go fuck herself'. I don't know where she learned that sort of language."


I made sure not to frown on the 'loving part' and not to laugh on the 'fuck herself' part and promised, "Okay, I will deal with this. Where is Jennifer now?"


Evelyn proudly stated, "She locked herself in the basement."


I thought, fuck no - not this again.


I walked over to the locked basement door, tried to open it and realized that Jennifer had locked it from inside (which was different this time). I rapped on the door and announced, "Jennifer, Daddy's home."


I heard her run up the stairs and then I heard her ask, "Where is mother?"


Evelyn shrieked, "I'm right here you ungrateful little bitch! To think I went through twelve hours of labor during your birth and this is how you treat me. Come out here and get the spanking you deserve."


Then Jennifer did the most amazing thing…


Flashback – Jens


After I swore at my 'mother' with my ill-chosen words, she started to become violent. I high tailed it out of my room before she could reach me, ran into the basement and locked the door from the inside. My Daddy didn't raise any fools: There was no way that drunk woman was going to beat me again.


After I talked to Daddy, I threw open the door and declared, "My sensei says that no one should be allowed to touch me in a way with which I am not comfortable. If either of you try to physically harm me again, I will be forced to injure you!"


Daddy smiled, winked at me and then mother whined, "Glen, do something about this!"


I dropped back into a defensive position, brought my arms up and motioned to my crazy mother to come and get me! Daddy looked at me, winked again, looked at mother and stated, "Evelyn, it appears to me like you've created this situation so you should resolve this problem. Jennifer please don't hurt Evelyn so badly I have to take her to the hospital."


I grinned and sarcastically said, "Daddy I will try not to! Well muuuu-ther, it's just you and me."


My mother whined in appeal, "Glen, are you going to let her do this?"


Daddy started to walk away and said, "Evelyn, Jennifer's right! No one has the right to touch her in a way she's uncomfortable with, not even her parents. She's a grown girl and cannot be physically punished again. Now, I've had a hell of a day. I'm getting a couple shots of bourbon then I'm sleeping in the den."


Evelyn whined again, "Glen, aren't you going to help me and are you sure you're not sleeping with me?"


Daddy stated, "Not no but hell no! You two women work this out. But I would warn you Evelyn, she can and will kick your ass if you decide to do anything physical."


I glared at mother and taunted, "Well Ev-e-lyn (this was the first time I ever used her first name) you feel like getting your rear kicked?"


She surprised me when she slammed the door, locked it (from the outside) and ordered, "Sleep in the basement forever for all I care."


I thought, fine with me! I can sleep just dandy in the basement since I setup my internet connection down here! At least I won part of the battle! I headed back downstairs, started my hidden laptop and found some of Daddy's survival rations (MRE's) for dinner - they weren't half good…


Flashback – Masha – At the hospital


I questioned, "Jack, do you think Ben will get in trouble for attacking the CCCN reporter?"


Jack shook his head, "Yeah, it's not going to be good for him especially if the Old Man saw it."


I decided I needed to do something to keep Ben (and by association Jack) out of trouble. I smiled at my fiancé and said, "I need to go respond to a couple of pressing issues and will be right back."


The Spetsnaz had deposited the CCCN news crew outside of the hospital and refused them entrance. I walked by and remarked, "It is too bad you don't have someone to interview that has all the information on the nurse and her so called boyfriend."


Of course the reporter heard me and swallowed the bait, along with the weight, hook and line. She questioned, "Do you know about the nurse and her boyfriend?"


I laughed and began my web of lies, "Yes, I intimately know Tatiana."


The reporter gasped - don't tell me…


Flashback – Jens


I was watching the news on my computer and finishing Daddy's nasty survival ration when I heard, "Stand by for a special report from CCCN."


I wondered what was going to happen now…


Flashback – Glen


Hells Bells, why couldn't I have had a boy? This shit wouldn't have happened if I had had a boy. I settled into the den, nestled in my favorite chair (after having half a bottle of bourbon - it took that much to get the nasty taste of Evelyn's fight with Jennifer out of my mouth) and I heard, "Stand by for a special report from CCCN."


I thought great, now what happened? Did Sgt. Reynolds kick the reporter's ass?


They showed the reporter bitch from Russia and she reported, "I have just learned that our assumptions about Sgt. Blaine and the nurse are incorrect."


There was much too long a dramatic pause and she continued, "We have just interviewed the homosexual life-partner of the nurse and she assured us that the nurse, Tatiana, does not like men. She said the kiss was only part of a wager they had."


My mouth dropped open and I heard indistinct yelling from the basement…


Flashback – Jens


I danced around and yelled, "I knew something was wrong with that female dog Russian spy! My Ben does love me!"


I jumped into the cot, felt much better and quickly fell fast asleep…


Flashback – Glen


Evelyn staggered into the den and asked, "Did I hear a bunch of yelling?"


I replied with a habitual lie, "It was the television. I guess the nurse that kissed Sgt. Blaine is a lesbian."


Evelyn sniffed and wrongly assumed, "Well that's no surprise. Those Russian women are either lesbians or whores. By the way Glen, when are you coming to bed?"


I realized how drunk she was and added to my stack of lies, "Go back to bed, I will be up later."


She staggered up the stairs. Once she was gone I went to the kitchen, unlocked the basement door and called, "Jennifer, are you awake?"


I didn't receive a reply so I figured she was asleep. I went back to the den and fell asleep in my favorite chair. There was no way I was sleeping in the same bed as that drunk bitch. When she was really drunk she sometimes pissed the bed and then blamed it on me…


Flashback – Ben and Tatiana – At the hospital


After Yuri escorted the CCCN bitch and her news crew out, the interview went more smoothly. That was until one of the reporters received a mobile phone call. I noticed shock on her face as she hung up the phone and interrupted, "Excuse me nurse Tatiana, CCCN has just reported they talked to your female life-partner and claim you only kissed Sgt. Blaine as a dare."


Tatiana complained, "I do not know what they were talking about, I have never been a homosexual."


I swore, "Those sons of a bitch! Now they've gone too far. I'm going to kill them!"


Tatiana laughed and said, "Ben my love, don't be silly." Then she gave me another smoldering hot kiss looked at the camera and stated, "Does that look like a kiss from a homosexual woman???"


I realized what happened: Masha was upset about me calling attention to myself by kissing Ben and attempted to cloud the situation by using the old ruse that I was a homosexual. I was sure she told them she was my lover. But I was proud of my love for Ben so I kissed him even more and held his hand.


Then Ben stated, "Look, I'm tired and after a kiss like that I think I would like to spend some quality time with my girlfriend."


I added, "Yes, we could use some privacy."


The news crews laughed, but it was the truth. I wanted to see exactly how frisky my boyfriend was.


Then the hospital shook and the lights went out…


Flashback – Colonel Maggie – At the hospital


What the hell! The hospital shook so badly it tipped the gurney holding the Major over and knocked me to the ground. He was already unconscious from me knocking him out, but this time blood started to flow from one ear which wasn't a good sign. I righted the gurney and pushed like hell toward the emergency room…


Flashback – Jack – At the hospital


I looked at Tatiana and asked, "Where the hell is Masha?"


One of the Spetsnaz replied, "She was outside with the CCCN news crew."


I swore, "Shit! I need to get outside." And I ran my ass off toward the elevators. When I got there, they weren't working so I made for the stairs…


Flashback – Ben – At the hospital


I looked at Tatiana and ordered, "Help me get into a wheelchair!"


She balked, "Ben you are too…"


I interrupted and ordered the Spetsnaz in the room, "Help me into a wheelchair."


At least they the fuck listened to me. I got into the wheelchair and started to head toward the elevators but when we got there, they didn't work. I looked at them and ordered them to take me to the stairs.


Tatiana complained, "Ben, you can not navigate the stairs in the wheelchair."


I laughed and said, "Who the fuck needs a wheelchair to take the stairs?"


They got me to the stairs, I slipped out of the wheelchair onto my ass, then I slid down over the first stair and swore, "That was a fucking son of a bitch!" I didn't count on it hurting so much…


Flashback – Tatiana – At the hospital


Ben attempted to slide down the stairs on his derriere and experienced great pain. I walked up close to him, took a syringe out of my pocket, jabbed it into his arm and emptied the syringe.


Ben demanded, "What the hell was that?"


I replied, "It was morphine to ease your pain. However, why not ask one of the Spetsnaz to carry you down the stairs?"


Ben laughed, "Hell, the day I can't slide down stairs on my ass is the day I need to die. I used to do this all the time when I was a boy."


He slipped down the next stair grimaced and I stated, "Well, let me help you until the morphine kicks in."


I knew I couldn't stop him and to be truthful I wanted to find out about Masha so I helped him and the next step wasn't as bad…


Flashback – Glen


I'd left the television on, awakened and they were reporting something about and explosion at the hospital where the Sgts., Colonel and Major were. It was better wake-up call than a cup of coffee! I watched but sure as hell didn't like what I saw from outside the hospital. Hell, if I lost any men over there… Well, I just didn't want to think about it…


Flashback – Ben – At the hospital


As much as I hated to admit it, this was taking too damn long. I looked at the Spetsnaz with me and asked, "Do you think you can carry me down the stairs?"


He replied, "Da!" Grabbed me like I was a sack of potatoes and ran down the stairs.


We reached what was left of the lobby, ran out into the front promenade and found Jack - he was looking at some shit. I asked, "What the hell is wrong?"


Flashback – Jack – At the hospital


Banzai asked me what the hell was wrong, I pointed to a mangled piece of electronic equipment and stated, "I think that's all that’s left of the CCCN news crew. And Masha was down here with them…"


Then I felt the tears roll down my face for the woman I truly loved - who was now gone. Some bastard was going to pay for this…


Flashback – Naomi, Safia, Ira and Mira– in Israel


I offered, "I used to drive my master all the time and would be happy to drive the fire truck."


Safia added, "Yes, if my sister can drive then it would be better than if I drove…"


I declared, "Even a cart of ass would be better than experiencing your lack of operational skills on the truck of fire."


Mirinka added, "Yes, I negotiated with God many times for our survival."


Naomi yelled, "We must get to my master!" So, we all ran to the truck of fire, and verified that Naomi's piloting skills were indeed much superior to those of her sister.


I questioned my sister in our private language, "Irinka, is Naomi suffering a case of Stockholm Syndrome1?"


1 Stockholm Syndrome - also capture–bonding, is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their captors, sometimes to the point of defending them. These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness.


She replied in like, "Most certainly so. It is irrational for her to have such affections for your Stay Puft Ass."


I immediately complained, "Ira, he is your Stay Puft ass."


Naomi interrupted, "Now, what was this question you asked me earlier."


I rapidly stated the scenario, "Safia told us a hor-mone joke and the line of punch which we can not comprehend. It currently consumes much of our conscious thought."


Safia added, "Naomi, they do not understand vernacular language. You would not believe the conversations we had concerning ass euphemisms."


Naomi laughed, "Safia, I can discern from their use of language all you have told me. My master did send me to school and I have my degree in languages. Now please recite the joke and punch line to me."


We look at Safia and she complied, "How do you make a whore moan? You don't pay the money you owe her."


Naomi laughed, "Yes, I can see how you were confused. You assumed that hormone meant a bodily substance. However it is two words: Whore, which means prostitute, and moan, which is a sound which is made in the throat like this." She then demonstrated a guttural sound.


Irinka answered, "Now the line of punch makes sense! If you do not properly recompense a prostitute with her due remuneration, then she will lament."


I scolded, "Safia, that was an evil prank to play on our cogentical selves. We should literally kick your ass for your deception, because we specialize in numerous forms of kick ass."


Irinka added, "Yes, your ass is grass."


Naomi interrupted, "Which way do I turn."


Safia answered, "Turn left."


I corrected, "No Naomi, turn right."


She turned right and we were on the street where we left Ira's Stay Puft ass connected to the cart of ass. Naomi viewed some men around the cart of ass and questioned, "What are they doing?"


I replied, "It appears they are taking turns training your master's alimentary canal."


Naomi questioned, "What did you say?"


Safia translated for her, "They said the men are raping your master."


Naomi accelerated at a great rate of speed, then operated the brakes in an extreme manner which frightened the men away. She jumped out of the truck of fire, ran up to her master and lamented, "Master what have they done to you?"


He weakly replied, "Naomi my girl, you have saved me from a fate worse than death."


I could not believe my sister! She held the evil man's head in her lap, stoked his hair and stated, "Do not worry. We are here now and we will keep you safe."


He began to cry, "You would not believe what was done to me." He pointed at me and the twins and whined, "They turned me into an burdensome ass." Then he blubbered, "And the men, they took turns…"


Naomi attempted to comfort him, "Do not worry, we are here and I have told them how nice you are. We will all take you home."


He questioned, "Don't tell me those two are coming?"


She shushed him, "Of course they are, they are your new body guards."


He smiled and commented, "Good, your sister is here. I purchased her for you because you did not know where she was."


I looked at Ira and stated in our special language, "My sister, we have been deceived, this man is not as evil as Safia imagined him to be."


Irinka replied, "Mirinka, he might have been a dissolute personage at one time but has since grown complacent. However, when you observe Safia, I am not sure she understands the current situation."


I noted the offered observation and decided we needed to have verbiage with Safia later. We disconnected the man (no longer immortalized as Stay Puft), from the cart of ass, covered his defiled body with his torn clothing and assisted him into the truck of fire…