Chapter 010

Home 2 Chapter 010

Copyright 2013 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia


Flashback – Masha – At the apartment


I was more than shocked! I was furious! While I condoned the previous acts the twins had perpetrated on the Mossad as being justified, I could not condone the total destruction of the Mossad headquarters… And where did the girls acquire or create the car bomb they used???


I sent them a scathing letter and demanded their return from Israel immediately. However, I was also aware that they paraded to the beat of their own drum and might possibly ignore the order. Seeing as Tatiana and I already handled the situation here, I rerouted the team I had coming here to Israel to 'assist' the twins – that is 'assist' in their departure from Israel.


I had just finished when I heard a noise at the door to the apartment. I placed my hand inside my purse and wrapped my fingers around my pistol but was surprised when…


Flashback – Jack – At the apartment


Hell, if Banzai was going to 'get lucky' I sure as hell wasn't going to be left out. He'd been the luckiest damn bastard on this assignment when we were in Moscow - before we met our girls. Hell, he had a steady stream of beautiful women coming through our apartment keeping me awake too damn much with the noises of great sex. I sort of wondered if Tatiana was going to slow him up some.


But I had bigger worries: The damn worry Banzai zinged me with when I left the hospital – was Masha on birth control and if she wasn't was I ready to be a daddy? Hell, we weren't even married yet.


I opened the door and noticed Masha at the desk with a computer. She looked worried so I questioned, "What's wrong honey?"


She jumped up from the chair, ran to me, gave me a big hug and said, "My Jack, with all that's gone on I thought you might be a Chechen intruder."


I returned the hug and questioned, "Would a Chechen torture you like this?" Then I gave her a hell of a kiss.


One thing lead to another and after a hot time of sex, as I was holding her I asked, "Masha I have a question for you and I'm not sure how to ask it."


She pulled away, sat up in bed, gazed into my eyes and suggested, "Jack, just ask me."


I took a deep breath and asked, "Masha, I was wondering if you were on birth control."

She gave me a funny look and answered with, "Please my Jack, don't tell me that you do not want children."


I replied, "Masha, that's not what I mean at all. I would love to have children with you but just not right away."


She got a big smile on her face and I 'got lucky' again.


Flashback – Tatiana – At the hospital


I discovered during the sponge bath just how 'frisky' Ben was and was overjoyed that 'things' functioned correctly - even if I had to do most of the work. We lay on his bed enjoying the post coitus afterglow when there was a knock on the door. I scrambled to get into my uniform as Ben yelled (in Russian), "Who is it?"


The banging increased on the door and we heard, "I am Doctor Andreievich and I am here to examine my patient's eyes. Open this door immediately!"


I replied, "I am his private nurse. We have just finished his bath and will comply."


I searched like crazy to find my underwear but once again they were missing. I glared at Ben and he pretended to laugh. I shook my fist at him, walked to the door, opened it and a very irate doctor bruskly entered the room and actually pushed me out of the way. I was amazed at Ben's response…


Flashback – Ben – At the hospital


Tatiana and I had a great morning then some son of a bitch doctor that thought he was god (with a very little g) came storming into the room, roughly pushed Tatiana aside and complained, "It's about time I am a busy man."


I held up my hand and threatened, "Don't you worry doctor, after my upcoming call to President Putin you won't be very busy at all."


He paused, looked at me and questioned, "What do you mean?"


I grinned, let it slip into an evil chuckle and stated, "You should really research your patients more thoroughly before you act like a total ass. Hell, I bet you don't even know my name."


He looked at me, glanced at the chart then his face totally changed as he stuttered, "You are… You are… You are… 'HIM!' Please forgive me!"


Since the table was turned I calmly declared, "Hell yes I'm 'him' as you said and do you know what your new name is? It's mud!"


He shook his head, "I do not understand."


Tatiana laughed and added the Russian saying, "Свинья́ везде́ грязь найдёт."


 Literal: A pig will find mud anywhere.


I watched as his face flushed with rage while he declared, "I have never been treated in such a manner."


I added, "And if you don't get your fat ass out of here I'm going to show you how I treated the damn Chechens!"


He turned, began to leave and I shouted additional insult to injury, "Don't let the fucking door hit your fat fucking ass on the way out!"


The door no sooner closed, than Tatiana locked the door, jumped into bed with me and… Hey I sure as hell don't kiss and tell!


Flashback – Glen


After sending the Colonel and the Major to Thule for an 'extended' assignment, things finally calmed down in Russia and I thought I’d finally taken care of the situation. Then my aide buzzes me on the intercom, “Sir, the SECNAV is on line one for you."


I thought, shit, what the hell did he want? I answered the phone, "Yes Sir!" and waited to see what sort of mood he was in.


He laughed, I breathed a sigh of relief and he chuckled, "Glen, you sly old fox! You have all of America watching for the next report from Russia - hell it's like a soap opera over there. So what are your next plans?"


I fumbled for something because I didn't have anything when my aide timely walked in and handed me my salvation. I quickly read it and asked, "Sir, how would you like a televised wedding from Russia?"


He exclaimed, "Don't tell me Sgt. Blaine is going to marry that blonde bombshell?

I filed that away to see if I could somehow pull that off but replied, "Not yet Sir, but I have a request directly from President Putin asking permission for Sgt. Reynolds to marry a Russian woman."


He questioned, "Do you think she's the one we've seen in the background?"


I speculated, "Sir, I believe you're correct."


He suggested (more like ordered), "Well, let's see what we can do to give them a hell of a wedding."


I shook my head and wondered where I would find the money out of my budget to do this. I replied, "Yes Sir! We will do our best." But I sure as hell didn’t know how I was going to pull this rabbit out of my hat. I affixed my signature to the document, called my aide and stated, "Fax this back to Russia."


Then I pulled up my budget and tried to figure out how I could justify paying for a wedding…


Flashback – Jens


School was boring for me, even though I was so far ahead – in fact that was the problem. I had no one my age that I could talk with. I learned early that if the older girls tried to be my 'friend' it was usually so they could copy my homework or cheat off me during tests.


I was sooooo thankful Daddy had sent me to martial arts because sometimes the older girls tried to force me to do things (and I don't mean homework this time - other nasty things). It seemed like I had to kick someone's rear every couple of weeks. Unfortunately, I still had to take the darn ballet lessons and now with school over for the day I rode to the lesson with the parent of one of the older girls (who Daddy had to pay) to take me to ballet lessons.


Tammy (the girl whose mother drove us) said, "Mom, I'm so excited today because it's tryouts for Swan Lake parts."


Ellen (her mother) replied, "You've really worked on this and I'm sure you will get the part of Odette1."


1 Odette – the prima ballerina and main character: An evil sorcerer cast a spell on her and turned her into a swan during the day but she transforms back into a princess at night."


Tammy giggled, "I would love if I did because Robert (the same one from before that pronounced his name Rooh-bear), is sure to be Prince Siegfried2. He is so handsome and sexy."


2 Prince Siegfried is out hunting, sees Odette in her swan form and he takes aim to shoot her when she transforms back into a Princess before his eyes. Odette tells him of the evil spell that can only be broken if a virgin prince swears eternal fidelity to her. She tells Prince Siegfried, who happens to be a virgin prince, that if he refuses her she must remain a swan forever.


They both giggled like the village idiots they were. I'd had problems with Robert's hands earlier and kicked his rear (you do all remember that, don't you?) and since then he'd left me the heck alone. However it did bother me that he seemed to follow me from ballet school to ballet school – it almost felt like he was stalking me.


I looked out the window and tried my best to ignore the inane babbling, fell asleep and had the most wonderful dream…


Flashback – Todd – On the island


I found some footprints leading from the beach and followed them right up to a tree, where they disappeared - so whoever helped me climbed the tree. What the hell were they, some sort of Tarzan? I scanned the trees, didn't see anyone so I sat down and contemplated a huge problem. I was hungry as hell and how the hell could I eat with my throat fucked up the way it was? Every time I swallowed it felt like my throat was being ripped out…


I took a little of a survival bar, crushed it in the bottom of my canteen cup, put water on it until it was mush and slowly tried to swallow it. I coughed like crazy, my eyes watered and I damn near passed out before I spit it back out again. Yeah something was seriously fucked with the way my throat worked. I decided to see if I could drink some water and had the same damn problem. Hell if I couldn't drink or eat, I had about two or three days at the most to live.


Son of a bitch! Something bit the hell out of the side of my neck! I reach up and fuck no…


Flashback – Alexi – At school


Even though it was my birthday, it was still like every other day – I had to go to school at the laboratory with my 'parents'. So after my party, I dressed in my uniform and our driver took us to the laboratory. Once there, the day proceeded typically: First there were the vitamin injections – I had them every day. I remembered when I was younger, I cried after each injection, but now I was a big boy, it was normal and it no longer bothered me.


Then it was cognitive training. It was a machine that when I was younger was a 10 by 10 grid of different pictures that I had to match. If I missed one I received a nasty little electric shock. Now it was a 100 by 100 grid. Again when I was younger the worst were the first guesses because they were exactly that – a guess and precipitated a shock. But now, there were many times that I somehow knew in my mind where the matching tile was. Today was a good day, I completed the grid with no errors and I would receive praise from my 'parents'.


After the cognitive grid, I had one of my favorite parts of the day, physical training. Yes, this school felt that the mind and body were connected and you had to strengthen them equally.


Lunch time was always interesting since I never knew what I would eat. Many times it was syrupy goo that tasted unpleasant. Sometimes, like today, it was real food! I had a hamburger, French fries and a milkshake.


After lunch was deductive reasoning, but today I had a huge problem with it. I worked on a problem that should have been easy which I could not solve. I became frustrated then mother came in and stated, "Alexi, because of the lunch we gave you, you are experiencing problems with this test. What does that tell you?"


I knew the response and answered, "That the food I eat directly affects my body."


She continued, "So why didn't you request something different to eat?"


I looked down and answered, "Because it is my birthday and I wanted to celebrate."


She said, "Very well, you may stay here until you finish this problem." She left, I looked at the problem and silently cried in my heart…


Flashback – Ira, Mira, Safia and Naomi – in Israel


The truck of fire was being pursued by what I occulated to be constabulary vehicles accompanied by Mossad vehicles. Naomi was operating the truck of fire in a haphazard manner so I ordered, "Operate this truck of fire in a more sedate fashion."


She brayed like her younger sister, "But they will overtake us."


I grinned at Mira and replied, "Not if Mira achieves her desire."


We carefully exfiltrated the cabin of the truck of fire, Mira took control of the deck mounted water cannon while I occulated the pump controls. After several seconds, I operated several switches, rotated a likely knob and heard Mira as she yelled, "We are kicking your asses!"


I occulated the water cannon was doing a superb job of dissuading the pursuit vehicles' continuation of the chase.


My sister Ira provided my wish and I sprayed massive quantities of water into the pursuit vehicles. The foremost vehicle swerved in a violent manner and impacted into a building. The water impacted the second vehicle in the engine compartment, massive amounts of steam escaped the vehicle, it shuddered, translocated adjacent to the road and halted.


Then the situation became serious…


Flashback – Ben and Tatiana – At the hospital


We finished again, were relaxing with each other when I asked, "Tatiana, do you know a wedding planner?"


She sat up in bed, got a worried look on her face and stated…


Ben just asked me if I knew a wedding planner and I wasn't sure if I wanted to marry him or not. I sat up and replied, "Ben, while I love you I'm not sure that I want to marry you."


Ben laughed and said, "Татьяна не дели́ть шку́ру неуби́того медве́дя. I was thinking about Jack and Masha's wedding since I would like to give them one hell of a wedding."


Tatiana, don't put the cart before the horse. Literal - Dividing the pelt of a bear not yet killed.


Suddenly I felt badly and worried I had offended Ben so I apologized, "Ben I am sorry but I thought you were talking about us. It is not that I do not want too…"


He silenced me with a kiss, then pulled away and comforted me, "Tatiana don't worry, we feel the same way about this - we barely know each other."


I was very glad that he was so understanding since many men would have been insulted. I replied to his original question, "Yes, I know a very good wedding planning but she is quite busy."


Ben responded, "Well give her a call and tell her she has a new client and that money isn't really an object."


I wondered just what Ben meant. I primarily wondered since he was only a Sgt. in the Marine Corps but seemed to freely spend money. I couldn't believe what he had my pay for those ushankas for the Colonel and the Major. I needed to investigate his financial situation…


Now that was truly funny, seeing the worry on Tatiana's face when I asked about a wedding planner was worth whatever money it was going to cost to give Jack and Masha the wedding of the century. Don't get me wrong, Tatiana was a hell of a woman, but I sure wasn't ready to settle down and get married yet. I enjoyed watching her as she walked (in the nude) over to the phone and placed a call…


While she was busy I decided I needed to try something…


Flashback – Jens


Someone shook my shoulder and said, "Wake up we're here."


I opened my eyes but saw it was only Tammy. I yawned and said, "I had such a wonderful dream: I was Odette and my boyfriend Ben was Prince Siegfried."


Tammy laughed and taunted, "Like you could ever dance well enough to be Odette! You barely do enough so you don't get kicked out of class." Then she added insult to injury, "And is this the mythical boyfriend you keep talking about."


I pushed her back and said, "Oh yeah! You just wait and see!"


Then we stormed into class…


Flashback – Glen


I had a call from the ballet school that I needed to pick up Jennifer and wondered what in the hell she had done this time. She hated the ballet school more than I did and I'm sure Evelyn made her attend just because it pissed Jennifer off so much. If Jennifer pulled a prank at the school again, while Evelyn was still pissed about Jennifer telling her to go fuck herself, I didn't know if I could keep the two of them from killing each other.


I left for the day, drove to the school, expected to see Jennifer in the office but instead she was surrounded by a group of girls. As I walked in the teacher ran over to me, shook my hand and stated, "Sir, I'm not sure what you did to motivate your daughter, but she just had the most perfect audition today for the part of Odette in Swan Lake. I am so thankful I didn't expel her from the class."


I shook my head and questioned, "So Jennifer isn't in trouble?"


The teacher laughed, "Heavens no, I guess all my instruction finally took hold. You should have seen her, it was practically flawless. Now, she will need to come here more frequently so we can work on a few of her minor errors."


I thought, great Jennifer coming to ballet more often. I walked toward Jennifer, she saw me, ran toward me, hugged me and blurted, "Daddy, I made a huge mistake."


I questioned, "What did you do Jennifer."


She cried, "I made a mistake. I really danced well today and accidentally won the part of Odette in Swan Lake. I tried to turn it down but the teacher wouldn't let me. Please Daddy, can't you tell her I won't do this."


I thought for a moment and said, "Jennifer, this might be the best thing that you've done in a very long time…"


Flashback – Todd – On the island


I woke up with a start! Someone had shot me in the neck with a blow gun dart and I passed out. I searched and the dart was gone. Then I looked down and I saw the most amazing thing: There was an IV in my arm and it was hooked to… I couldn't believe it… It was hooked to a fucking coconut – what the fuck!


I began to remove it when I realized that I did feel much better. I wasn't thirsty or hungry like I was before. Then I vaguely recalled reading something about coconut water being used as a replacement for plasma (I always thought that was some sort of old wife's tale). I looked around to see if I could find my benefactor but again and they were nowhere to be seen. However, I couldn't help feeling like I was being watched…


Flashback – Mira, Ira, Safia and Naomi – in Israel


The Mossad chase vehicle decided to fire at us and I deduced that I required something more powerful than the water cannon to dissuade their actions. So I extinguished the cannon, packed some stones into the cannon, aimed it at the Mossad vehicle and re-opened the valve. There was a rumble, then the water and rocks propelled from of the cannon at a tremendous velocity obliterating the windscreen. I continued to spray through the missing windscreen at the stupid Mossad agents...


Mira had an excellent idea and transformed the water cannon into a formidable weapon. I decided to help, rotated the knobs some more and then the truck of fire began a terrible rumbling noise and vibrated. I yelled, "Mira, escape!"


We both exfiltrated the truck of fire as it decimated itself…


Those crazy twins did something to the fire truck, it exploded and my sister Naomi stated, "The truck is dead."


I complained, "Great, now what are we supposed to do?"


Mira walked up and advised, "Good tales, we have avoided our pursuers."


Naomi lamented, "But at what cost? Now the fire truck is broken."


Ira stated, "Sister, have you noticed the similarity between the braying of the ass from the cart of ass  and the two sisters."


I threatened, "If you two keep it up, I will tell you another joke."


Mira stated, "Little one, there is no time for jokes. We must translocate haste of post to the man's domicile before more adversaries arrive."


I looked at the evil man and questioned, "Just how do you propose we move him? He is fat and infirm."


He complained, "The fat is your sister's fault. She cooked too much good food…"


The formerly evil Stay Puft but still fat man's comment gave me an idea. I looked, pointed and said, "We can liberate the cart of food to transport him."


Irinka agreed, "Mira, that is an excellent tactical plan."


Naomi brayed, "Force my master to ride on a food cart? That is disrespectful!"


Safia counter-brayed, "I think we should just leave the bastard here." Her retort started a bounteous braying bout between Safia and Naomi.


Irinka and I exchanged glances and went to work while the 'ass' sisters brayed. When we were complete, Irinka placed both fingers into the corners of her vocal orifice and released an ear splitting whistle. The 'ass' sisters looked and I stated, "We are ready to depart. Naomi you will notate that your master is safely and comfortably ensconced in the cart of food. However we will require help to move his mass."


Safia brayed, "I'm not going to help."


Naomi stated, "Well I will help."


As the three of us began to push the cart of food toward his domicile, the formerly evil Stay Puft man requested, "Might you hand me another kebob? I am hungry."


Safia brayed, "How could anyone your size be so damn hungry."


I complained, "If you two do not stop braying like asses from carts of ass then I will kick ass and open up a can of whoop ass on both of you."


Irinka added, "Yes your asses are grasses and if you do not want a kebob shoved crossways up your asses then you will cease and desist with your braying."


You could bet your ass that because of the prolific use of the word ass, our warnings had the desired effect and we proceeded with our formerly Stay Puft Man convoy in silence toward the aforementioned man's domicile…