Chapter 038

Home 2 Chapter 038

Copyright 2013 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia


Flashback – Jack – A new battle


There was never a dull moment with Banzai! The more we worked together, the happier I was that we were a team. If there was ever someone who thought outside the box, Banzai exemplified that person. The current prime example was Banzai's baseball bat grenade chucker. Who would have thought? Hell, only Banzai would have thought of something like that. And the more grenades I pitched to Banzai, the better he got and was smacking the air burst grenades right over the top of the Chechen bastards. Yeah, they were getting their asses handed to them - thanks again to one of Banzai's crazy schemes.


The only problem was, we'd make a hell of a progress on getting the fuckers to retreat but then Banzai would have to stop when Elena hauled someone new out of the busted to hell BTR 80. I came up with an idea and suggested, "Captain, instead of standing around with your ass in your hands, why don't you haul the men out of the BTR 80 and let Elena triage and treat them? That way Banzai and I can continue the grenade fusillade."


Banzai added, "Yeah, that would sure help."


Elena chorused, "That would be an excellent idea."


Masha threatened, "That would be the only worthwhile thing he has done all day."


With all the prodding, the Captain relented with a complaint (of course), "I will do this, but I still don't think you should be abusing the grenades like that. They were never designed to be hit with a stick."


Banzai laughed, "Hell, they're fucking grenades! If they can't be hit then they sure as hell wouldn't be safe to carry on your tactical vests. Besides, I make sure I miss the fuse."


Then I pitched him one and something terrible happened…


Flashback – Masha – A new battle


Just when things were going excellently, Ben yelled, "Son of a bitch!"


I observed that Ben finally hit the fuse on one of the grenades and instead of it flying into the air, it became embedded in the stick of wood. I was certain we were going to die and was amazed when Ben had the presence of mind to continue the swing of the stick of wood around his head, completed a full circle and released the stick of wood with the grenade stuck to it. Thank God it traveled outside of the Church before it detonated.


Ben continued to swear (I was thankful Jack didn't swear as much), "Shit, that stick was almost perfect! Jack I need a new grenade bat."


With the grenade bat gone, the Chechens again began to advance on our location so I offered, "Jack, continue to fight and I will search for a stick that will meet his requirements."


I left to locate a stick but ended up finding something unexpected…


Flashback – Jack – A new battle


What a hell of a woman! Masha fought like a wildcat and then when Banzai needed a new grenade bat, she instantly offered to go and find one. I didn't worry when Masha took off to find Banzai a new grenade bat since she left the main sanctuary and was in a different part of the church. Suddenly I began to hear gunfire from her direction. She yelled, "Jack, my Jack! I need help!"


My heart was in my throat as I yelled, "Masha, I'm coming."


I ran toward the sound of her voice and prayed I wasn't too late…


Flashback – Ben – A new battle


The next to worthless captain was still tending to the wounded with Elena. Without a grenade bat, I took the next to worthless AK and began to fire at the fucking Chechens. Damn, why were these AK's so damn inaccurate? If I had a decent sniper rifle I could have kicked major ass. Suddenly Masha yelled that she was in trouble, Jack took off like his ass was on fire (hell I would have done the same for Tatiana - that reminded me, where the hell was she?) and I crawled as best I could after him. It was humbling as hell crawling like a fucking baby. While I hated that damn wheelchair, it was at times like this I could really use the mobility.


I reached a corner, began to pie it the best I could in the prone position, and saw what the trouble was. The fucking Chechens had infiltrated this part of the church! Damnnnn, we were lucky as hell that Masha found them or they would have kicked our asses. Then I saw something I sure as hell didn't like…


Flashback – Masha – A new battle


One of the Chechens began to run toward us. He wore a huge vest and I yelled at Jack, "He's a suicide bomber. We need to leave."


I began to run back to the main part of the church, Jack followed me until we reached the corner and saw that Ben had come to help. Ben continued to fire at the Chechen, Jack yelled, "Masha we need to help him."


We stopped, grabbed Ben and then…


Flashback – Jens – At the military hospital


Even though they caused my body to hurt like hades, I continued my stretches! Katie ran back into the room and complained again, "You shouldn't be out of bed by yourself and what are you doing in those tights and bodysuit."


I ignored her stupid complaints while I continued my stretches and yoga poses and snidely remarked, "I told you before I am a prima ballerina and I don't have any time to waste."


She came over, found the port on my IV, gave me a pain injection and continued, "If that body suit and tights stick to your burns…"


I was annoyed about the stupid hospital gowns that showed everyone practically everything and interrupted, "Who gives a fuck! I'm not going to exercise in that embarrassing hospital gown. You need to get the hell out of here because you are distracting me."


Katie tried to complain more but I stood up, put my hands on my hips, glared at her and in my best prima donna ballet voice ordered, "You're the one that motivated me to do my best and that is what I'm trying to do. Move my fucking bed up beside the wall so I have more room to practice and unless I call you, leave until it's time for my pills."


She wisely left (this prima ballerina stuff was working great!). I finished my stretches and yoga and then began to practice Swan Lake from memory. Of course without my pointe shoes I couldn't do the en pointe work I really needed to do. That reminded me so I took a break and decided to call Daddy…


Flashback – Glen


The phone rang and woke me out of a hell of a dream starring Scarlet Johansson. Then Evelyn swore and ruined it even more, "Damn my head!" I grabbed the phone and answered, "This is Glen."


I felt much better when I found it was Jennifer and she very nicely asked, "Daddy, would you please bring me my laptop when you come by the hospital today. I really need to research some things. And please don't forget my pointe shoes."


I looked at the time, realized I had overslept, smiled and answered, "Honey, I would be happy to bring both of those to you, but what are you doing up so early?"


She answered but I couldn't believe it! However, I promised her I would be sure to bring those items along with a few other things I figured she could use. When I hung up the phone, Evelyn screeched, "Glen, who the hell was that at this time of the morning?"


I hated talking to her but figured this would get her goat so I answered, "It was Jennifer…"


Evelyn (being a royal bitch) interrupted, "I should have known. What was she doing, crying about being hurt?"


Once again she was wrong. This happened more often than I chose to count. I smiled falsely and informed her, "No, she had just finished her stretches and yoga and asked if I would bring her laptop computer and her pointe shoes."


Evelyn still half asleep and still partially drunk scoffed, "I doubt she needs either one of those."


I challenged, "Well, why don't we get our morning SSS1 done, deliver the items she requested and see how she is doing."


1SSS – Shit, Shave and Shower. But for Evelyn probably just SS.


Flashback – Jens – At the military hospital – An hour later


My focus was totally on my dance routine for Swan Lake. I had just finished one of my dances when I heard clapping so I looked over and it was Katie the nurse. She applauded, "Jennifer that truly was a beautiful dance. I wish I could have seen you do it in your pointe shoes."


I answered and complained, "My shoes will be here later with my Daddy. But why are you here because your accolades have ruined my concentration?"


She smiled and explained, "Jennifer, it’s time for your pills and I need to assess your condition."


I was thankful for the pills but still complained vociferously, "Thank you for the pills because the pain was becoming unmanageable. However, I cannot tolerate all these distractions. I have serious work to do and will not tolerate your interruptions! You and the other nurses need to work around my practices."


She gave me an angry look and countered, "Young lady, you may have work to do, but I also have work to do and making sure you're healed for the ballet is more important than anything. Now get back into bed while I do my assessment."


I still fought and grumbled, "You need to figure out some way to not interrupt me so much!"


Katie countered, "And you need to stop playing the prima ballerina card! You forget I know what it's like and you can't fool me!"


Katie began to look at my wounds and complained, "I was worried those tights and the bodysuit would give us problems. Now they have both bonded with your wounds…"


She pulled the body suit and tights which pulled on the burns and the pain made me realize what she meant. I got ready to ask her what she was going to do when…


Flashback – Glen


As we walked into Jennifer's room, Evelyn immediately saw Jennifer on the bed and complained, "See, I told you she wasn't doing her stretches and yoga. It looks like she's still in bed."


Jennifer's nurse gave both of us a dirty look and defended her, "Excuse the hell out of me! She has not only been doing stretching and yoga, she was also performing some of the dances from Swan Lake. They only reason she is in bed now is because I needed to perform her physical assessment. To be truthful I'm glad I did because we have some issues with her body suit and tights."


Evelyn staggered, snorted and challenged, "How could she do the dances without her ballet shoes."


The nurse became even more defensive and tried to explain, "You don't always have to wear your shoes, especially at the beginning of practice."


Evelyn got on her high horse, glared and demanded, "And who the hell are you to teach me about ballet!"


Jennifer had her fill of this bullshit drama (and so did I) and complained…


Flashback – Jens – At the military hospital – An hour later


I was pissed as hell with Katie and Evelyn fighting in my room so I yelled, "Geez Louise, will you two stop fighting! Mother, Katie was the prima ballerina for the New York City Ballet and is going to help me."


Evelyn looked at her fingernails and stated, "I have never heard of her."


I got ready to throw a major 'prima ballerina fit', jump out of bed and kick both their asses when Olga, my teacher, walked in. She glided over to Katie, kissed her on the cheek and asked, "How is our prima ballerina doing today?"


Katie smiled at her and answered, "She has actually been much too busy this morning. First she did stretches and yoga and then I watched as she did some of the dances from Swan Lake. I watched her perform 20 fouettés (a fast whipping turn on one foot) in a row without even wearing her pointe shoes."


Mother continued being a pain in the ass as she rudely scoffed, "I would have liked to see that!"


I had my fucking fill of all this bickering and yelled, "Everyone shut the hell up! Give me my damn pointe shoes and I will fucking show you! And don't you dare complain about my language!"


Daddy wisely grinned (I wondered if he was the only one that understood) and handed me my shoes.


Katie interrupted, "I should look at the fit on those first."


Mother opened her mouth, "Like you would know what you were looking at."


Olga began to explain, "Evelyn, Katie was a prima ballerina…"


I had my fill of all the bullshit and exploded, "That's fucking enough! Everyone get the fuck out of my room immediately!"


I guess they finally understood how angry I was so they meekly complied. They left the room but huddled in the doorway! I put on my pointe shoes, jumped out of bed, made sure that my en pointe didn't hurt (too much), looked at them and challenged, "Now you all can count as I do my fucking fouettés! Don't lose count or I will come over and put my pointe shoes up your asses!"


They began to count, "1, 2… 30."


I stopped, looked at them (plus noticed a huge crowd had formed) and challenged, "I could have kept going however I didn't want to insult the famous ballerina Pierina Legnani1 who frequently performed 32 fouettés.


1 Pierina Legnani - Legnani was born on September 30, 1863, in Milan and originally studied with famous ballet dancer Caterina Beretta at La Scala where she developed her technical expertise. Her professional career took off when she appeared as prima ballerina in the Casati ballet, Salandra, at Alhambra Theatre in London. Under the direction of famous ballet choreographer, Marious Petipa, Legnani originated numerous roles including, 'Cinderella' in 1893, 'Swan Lake' in 1895, 'Raymonda' in 1898, and 'Carmargo' in 1901. She was the first ballerina to introduce the 32 fouettés en tournant into the coda of the Grand Pas d'Acion of the ballet Cinderella.

The 32 turns on pointe is a bravura procedure emphasizing the strength and technique of the dancer. The 32 fouettés were later choreographed into Swan Lake and Black Swan solo in act 3, which are still used to this day.


Olga showed her understanding of choreography when she complained, "But Jennifer, you must perform the 32 fouettés since it the traditional choreography for the third act of Swan Lake."


After the debacle in my room between Evelyn and Katie I wasn't about to give in - not yet - so I grumpily replied, "I will consider it, but right now I hurt too much to think about it."


Katie hastened to explain, "That's because it's time for your next injection and PT."


I asked, "What physical training, I already did my exercises?"


Daddy laughed, "Jennifer, PT in this case stands for Pain and Torture."


Katie countered, "Sir! That's an insult! PT stands for Physical Therapy. It's to help your daughter maintain her flexibility and reduce the scarring from the burns."


I found out later that Daddy was right!!!


Flashback – Alexi – In the laboratory


So far my plan was flawless, however that could easily change. I had to be very careful. While the doctors were simple morons that could easily be fooled, the psychologist was incredibly smart and difficult to deceive. I battled wills during every monthly meeting with him and many times I lost. I determined this time I would win, but I was not initially sure how to accomplish my goal.


I walked into Dr. Sergei's office as he was concentrating on some task. He ignored my approach and he commanded, "Sit in the chair and do not bother me." These were his normal commands and actions when I arrived for a meeting.


Suddenly I had an inspiration! Instead of being complacent and blindly following all his commands, I quietly sat on the floor.


My action attracted Dr. Sergei's attention. He looked up from his reports, peered over the top of his reading glasses and ordered, "That's not the chair."


I made sure my face portrayed no emotion (because he was an expert at spotting deception) as I lied, "But you told me to sit on the floor."


He took off his reading glasses and his anger rose as he bellowed, "I did not! I told you to sit in the chair!"


I again held all my emotions and facial responses in check, rose, walked around, pushed some papers on the floor and sat on the corner of his desk.


His anger exploded, "Alexi, what in the hell are you doing? You made a mess out of my office! That is not the chair that is my desk."


I once again concealed my mirth and answered, "But sir, you told me to sit on the desk. I am just following your instructions."


He restrained his anger this time, gave me a strange look, pulled out a little recorder, turned it on and ordered, "Alexi sit in the chair."


I ignored the obvious command, moved over and laid on the couch.


His voice quivered as he complained, "That is not the chair."


I lied, "Of course not doctor, you told me to lie on the couch."


He played back the recorder, it repeated his command to sit in the chair and he questioned, "What did you just hear?"


I stood up, sat on the floor again, presented my most honest face and questioned, "Sir, is this some sort of new test? Are you instructing me to sit in different places and then trying to confuse me? If so, this is unlike other tests which you have performed on me."


We continued this game (for me) for many minutes.  When he finally he threw up his hands I knew I'd won. He declared, "Alexi, you seem to have had some sort of mental cognitive breakdown."


I continued my ruse and replied, "Thank you sir, I feel very well today."


He smacked his palm to his face and said very slowly (as if talking more deliberately would help me to comprehend better), "Alexi, you are very, very sick!"


I giggled internally while expressing profuse gratitude, "Thank you sir, you are most generous!"


He called my 'parents' into his office and instructed my 'father', "Please take Alexi into the waiting room." 'Father' took me to the waiting room then returned to Dr. Sergei's office. I decided to move from the chair and lie on the floor while playing with the carpet. I picked at imaginary specks of dirt which I proceeded to consume.


The door opened, all three of them saw me on the floor playing with the carpet and eating the specks. 'Mother' gasped, 'father' said, "Oh no!" and Dr. Sergei surmised, "See, he has had a total mental breakdown."


'Mother' questioned, "What are we to do?"


Dr. Sergei shook his head and stated, "He will need to remain here and be restrained for his own safety."


Suddenly this game wasn't as much fun as before…


Flashback – Mira and Ira – in Israel


I successfully completed the discussion of my treatment plan with Safia for which she was greatly appreciative. Then we were accosted by the return of a very irate Harem Horde.


One of them demanded, "What did you do to our master? He was covered in shit!"


Another added, "And even worse, why did you lock Naomi in the bedroom with that filth? It took us all this time to clean our master, the room and Naomi."


I simply explained, "One of his adversaries had inserted a Mesocricetus auratus into his alimentary canal. It's claws and teeth had damaged the walls of his alimentary canal so an alcohol lavage was the prescribed treatment."


However one of the Horde unwisely threatened, "You stupid bitch! We are going to dislocate your vaginas!"


I arose, Safia stood up and she challenged, "Bring it on bitches!" And the fight began.


Of course the Harem Horde were no match for Ira and me, but I was amazed at how well Safia could fight. However, it was her use of euphemisms which brought the greatest pleasure to the fight. After delivering a well-placed kick to the abdominal region of one of the Harem cows she yelled, "How do you like that you fat cow?"


As she pulled out a big handful of another жирная корова (fat cow)'s hair she yelled out, "Now who's the stupid bitch?"


The best blow she delivered was to the mouthy female who threatened to dislocate our vaginas. She kicked the offender so hard in her vagina the cow lost consciousness and then Safia danced around and bragged, "Now that's how you dislocate a vagina!"


The Harem Horde had experienced punishment enough. They gathered their injured, translocated to the safety of their harem room and slammed the portal. I quickly locked the door and Safia questioned, "Why do you think that all the doors here have locks on the outside?"


Ira quantified the obvious, "It is because each room is designed to be a prison."


Naomi arrived and demanded, "What did you three do to my friends?"


Safia proudly replied, "We dislocated their vaginas!"


Naomi did not show concern for Safia's being-well but instead brayed in complaint, "But they are my friends!"


Ira finally severed her tenuous relationship with Naomi and stated, "Then you can be with your called-so friends!" She grabbed Naomi by the hair, roughly escorted her to the Harem Horde sanctuary, unlocked the door, propelled her through the portal, slammed the door and locked it again.


Ira wiped her hands as if they were soiled and complained, "Mira and Safia, the sooner we complete our mission here the sooner we can exit this evil place. Mira, please assess the drugs Naomi's behemoth man is taking and adjust them how you see fit. Safia, please help me find some suitable accoutrements for Mira and myself…"


Flashback – Todd – On the island


While Liu's attention was focused on my descent, she was unaware of the approaching threat which demanded my response. I gathered my feet under me and pushed off the cliff with all my might. The last thing I remembered was landing, feet first, squarely on the back of the Komodo dragon swimming toward Liu…