Chapter 062

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Copyright 2014 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia

 

Flashback – Ben – In Moscow

 

PT was a total waste of time because it was too easy and I hated it. Because of my feelings I was certainly not my normal, perfect, patient self, instead I was the belligerent patient from hell. I gave them shit on all of the exercises except one – the one where I got to walk between the parallel bars. I pushed the hell out of myself on this exercise because the sooner I could walk, then the sooner I could run. And once I could run I could go take care of the fucking Chechen bastards!

 

My newest therapist ordered, "Sergeant, it is time for you to stop walking between the parallel bars."

 

I glanced at her, continued doing what I was doing and answered, "Go fuck yourself! I will stop when I damn well feel like it. Now get the fuck out of here and leave me alone."

 

Just like the others, she began to cry then ran out of the room and right past Jack.

 

Jack laughed, walked into the room and questioned…

 

Flashback – Jack – In Moscow

 

Shit the physical therapist ran past me crying. I looked at Banzai and complained, "Don't tell me you lost another therapist? What the hell did you say to this one?"

 

It was miserable as hell for me watching Banzai struggle to walk, but I made sure I hid that emotion from him. He looked up at me and confessed, "She wanted me to stop using the parallel bars but I wasn't done yet so I told her to go fuck herself, get out of here and leave me alone!"

 

I grinned and counseled, "You'd better cut it out or they will give you a real son of a bitch for a therapist."

 

He continued his sad attempt at walking and answered, "Hell, that would be great if they did. I'm fucking tired of these pansy assed therapists."

 

A new therapist walked into the room and it was immediately obvious Banzai should have been more careful about what he wished for...

 

Flashback – Ben – In Moscow

 

A typical looking, older Russian woman walked into the therapy room. You know the kind - they looked like they could be hitched to a plow and pull it all day long! She yelled at me, "Sgt. Blaine I do not care if you are a hero of Russia, I am your new therapist and you will listen to my orders. Now get off the parallel bars because we have work to do."

 

I grinned at her and taunted, "Go fuck yourself and the horse you rode in on. I will get off these parallel bars when I damn well feel like it. Now get the fuck out of here and leave me alone."

 

The new therapist threatened, "You will remove yourself from them immediately or I will remove you."

 

I stopped walking between the parallel bars, grinned at her and challenged, "I would like to see you do that."

 

I couldn't believe what the sneaky bitch did next; it sure as hell wasn't fair...

 

Flashback – Tatiana – In Moscow

 

It was all I could do to keep from laughing and thereby let Ben know I was immediately outside the room. His new therapist, Yuliana, was known to be the toughest therapist in Moscow. Ben had made so many enemies on the therapist staff that they transferred her here just to deal with him. We had come up with a plan and I just waited until Yuliana called, "Please come into the room."

 

I sauntered into the room and asked as sweetly as I could, "Ben, will you please remove yourself from the parallel bars? Especially since I am your girlfriend, your personal nurse and I did ask you nicely."

 

Ben glared at me, switched to Yuliana and declared, "It's not fair to use my personal nurse and girlfriend against me."

 

Yuliana laughed, her adipose tissue jiggled and she declared, "Everything is fair in love and war, so my action was certainly fair. However, your being a huge pain in the ass to the rest of the therapists was definitely not fair. Now come down from those parallel bars because we have work to do."

 

Ben gave Yuliana a confused look and demanded, "What the hell sort of work; the parallel bars are always the last thing I do in therapy."

 

Yuliana stated, "Not anymore! Your ass is now mine. The longer you take to follow my instruction, the worse it will be for you."

 

Ben made a huge mistake as he removed himself from the parallel bars. He decided to challenge Yuliana's intentions, "What the fuck can you do to me? Take your best shot?"

 

Flashback – Jack – In Moscow

 

I briefly watched but couldn't take it anymore so I went back to Banzai's room and waited for him. I made a serious mental note to never antagonize a physical therapist, especially one that looked like a fucking semi-truck driver. Once Ben got off the parallel bars, she wheeled him to a massage table, physically picked him up (Oh yeah, that was amazing!), threw him (literally) on the table and went to town on him. She twisted him this way and that way then she gave him the most brutally wicked massage I had ever seen. Hell, I couldn't watch anymore of the punishment - I was sure she was going to break him in two.

 

I was proud as hell that Banzai didn't cry, but I could tell he was in a hell of a lot of pain from his groans and his breathing. Plus, he didn't complain at all about what the new therapist was doing to him (shit I would have jumped off that damn table and run like hell, but then Ben wouldn't do that). I felt slightly bad for him, but he did bring this on himself.

 

The door opened, Tatiana wheeled him into the room, and he looked like shit warmed over! She brought him beside his bed and asked, "Jack, will you please help me get Ben into his bed?"

 

I was confused because Banzai had been moving so well before the therapist got her mitts on him so I asked, "Can't he do it himself?"

 

Banzai answered, "Jack, don't make a big deal out of this, please just help me get into the bed."

 

As we began to move Banzai he groaned in pain; we got him into the bed and I asked, "Tatiana, don't you think he needs something for pain?"

 

Banzai glared at me and argued, "Tatiana don't listen to him, I don't want anything for pain."

 

Tatiana smiled at me and explained, "I offered Ben something for pain but he is concerned he will become addicted so he refuses to take anything."

 

That sounded exactly like the Banzai I knew so I didn't press the issue. I was pissed when Banzai requested, "Tatiana, will you please check the trashcan to see if the French fries are still there."

 

She went to the trash can and saucily reported, "No honey, the French fries are no longer in the trashcan."

 

Banzai glared at me and demanded, "Jack, I thought I told you not to eat them."

 

I knew better than to lie to Banzai this time (lately he'd become lethal at detecting lies) so I answered, "Well I was hungry and didn't want good food to go to waste. You know there are starving kids in Africa that would have been happy to have those fries."

 

Banzai derisively laughed and shot down my reasoning, "Then you should have sent the fries to them rather than eating them yourself and packing on even more weight. Just remember, if you get too fat for your dress blues, you're going to have to wear a suit when you marry Masha because there's no place here in Russia to buy larger 'blues' and I don't think the tailors could let the existing ones out anymore."

 

Shit! I hated it like hell when Banzai was right! I hadn't tried on my 'blues' in a while but the last time I did they were a bit tight and now I might not even be able to button them. Thank God I was saved by Tatiana when she said, "Jack you need to leave now because I need to get Ben cleaned up."

 

I decided I needed to so something so I could fit in my 'blues' but there was no way in hell I was going to give Banzai the satisfaction of knowing that. I needed a distraction and asked, "I will see you later - would you like another hamburger when I come back?"

 

Banzai grinned and answered, "I sure as hell would!"

 

His eager answer set off Tatiana like I knew it would. I was confident that Ben was playing for more 'makeup' and as I left they were still arguing about it...

 

Flashback – Jens – At the military hospital

 

I received a disturbing as heck e-mail from – I couldn't believe what was in it! It was G-R-O-S-S!  I was going to do something about it when there was a knock on my door and a man I didn't know (I immediately disliked him because he looked so effeminate) walked into my room with a gym bag (which looked more like a purse) over his shoulder.

 

I immediately and crabbily demanded, "Who the heck are you and what do you want?"

 

He glared at me and declared, "I am Angel Betancourt the ballet shoe supervisor for the New York City ballet and I'm here to fit you for custom en pointe shoes. However, I deal with Prima Ballerinas all day long and if you continue with your current bitchy attitude I will leave and you will be deprived of my acknowledged expertise."

 

I apologized, "I am sorry Mr. Betancourt. I had just received a very disturbing e-mail before you came into my room and seem to have forgotten my manners."

 

I liked him a little better when he smiled at me and stated, "Okay Jennifer, your apology is accepted. The first thing I need you to do is to stand up and perform a demi plies for me."

 

I stood up performed a demi plies and Mr. Betancourt remarked, "That was very nice, now point your right foot."

 

I complied then he commanded, "Sit down, take the tights off your foot and let me see the shape of your foot."

 

He examined my foot but it tickled so I laughed and Mr. Betancourt ordered, "Jennifer, this is very serious business so please control yourself. Now look at your foot: If you notice the big toe, second toe, and even the third and fourth toe are all approximately the same length. You have what is called a classic box foot. Another nice feature is that your toes don't have any large gaps between them. I imagine that you are very stable when you're en pointe, am I correct?"

 

Katie walked into the room as he was talking. I smiled at Mr. Betancourt, shrugged my shoulders and answered, "I guess so."

 

Katie bragged on me and made me blush, "Angel, it's good to see you again. Jennifer is just being modest. I watched Jennifer do thirty fouettés in these shoes and she could have done more but chose to stop." Katie handed Mr. Betancourt my old unbroken point shoe."

 

He examined my shoe and I was shocked when he exploded, "Sacre Bleu! These shoes are rubbish and should have been disposed of years ago! Young lady do you not know dancing in inferior and worn out shoes could end your career. Katie please tell Jennifer how often you changed shoes."

 

Katie informed me, "I always wore a new pair of shoes for each performance because nothing is worse than having a shoe break during the performance. For rehearsals I wore a different pair of shoes each day."

 

Mr. Betancourt added, "I am responsible for all the shoes the New York City ballet uses. Do you have any idea how much money I spend just on shoes each year?"

 

I made what I assumed to be wild guess, "I don't know, possibly fifty thousand dollars."

 

Mr. Betancourt laughed, "Young lady, you are off by a factor of ten. I spend more than five hundred thousand dollars each season on shoes. Now I brought a few shoes for you to try on to see if we can get close to the right fit."

 

I was a little confused with what I heard earlier so I asked for clarification, "Katie told me she had a shoe allowance."

 

Mr. Betancourt answered, "Yes, when Katie was with us that was the norm. However, we have improved our procedures and now I am responsible for fitting and purchasing all the shoes."

 

Katie added additional information, "Yes Jennifer, Angel is excellent at fitting shoes so you are very fortunate he took the time to come here."

 

Angel then gave me some information which caused some concern, "However young Jennifer, you will be responsible for sewing your shoes."

 

I stammered, "But I have no idea how to sew my shoes."

 

Katie touched my arm and promised, "Don't worry Jennifer I will teach you. This is something every Prima Ballerina must know."

 

Mr. Betancourt began to fit me for the shoes...

 

Flashback – Glen – At the military hospital

 

Thank God Evelyn wasn't seriously injured but the same couldn't be said for the family in the minivan. Oh, the parents weren't hurt that badly but the twin girls were in for a long road of recovery.

 

The JA showed up and stated, "Well Sir, I think this will clinch the deal on getting your wife into an alcoholic rehabilitation program. In fact, I've taken the liberty of drawing up the paperwork so when she awakens we will transfer her directly into the program."

 

I questioned, "What about the nurse's complaint about Evelyn abusing Jennifer?"

 

He gave me an unusual look and I couldn't believe it when he stated, "I hate to inform you Sir, but to get her to drop the charges I had to make a deal with her that you might not like."

 

I asked apprehensively, "Well, don't leave me hanging tell me what sort of shit we have to deal with."

 

When he described the deal I about crapped my pants and asked, "Are you sure there's nothing else that will fix this?"

 

He looked down, shook his head and answered, "Sir, I did everything I could. Hell, I even threatened to look into a malpractice case against her but she wouldn't budge."

 

I swore, "This sucks donkey dicks! I sure hope you didn't tell Jennifer yet."

 

He answered, "Hell no! I hoped that you would want to tell her."

 

I hung my head and replied, "Thanks and damn straight I want to be the one that tells her!" I sat back on the chair and wondered how in the hell I was going to give Jennifer this information. But first things first, Evelyn began to wake up...

 

Flashback – Alexi – On the way home

 

While we were headed home, I stuck my head out the window to continue my dog ruse. 'Mother' bitterly complained, "Alexi, you are not a dog! Bring your head back into the car immediately and roll up the window. It is cold outside and you will catch your death."

 

I whined (literally like a dog) and 'father' came to my defense, "Mother, if Alexi enjoys this I do believe we would be better letting him express himself in this manner."

 

I brought my head back in and loudly panted (again like a dog) then I returned to my previous activity.

 

'Mother' chided, "Well then at least drive more slowly."

 

'Father' did comply with her wishes and I was actually thankful for his action because it was not comfortable at all having my head out the window at the speed he was driving.

 

I brought my head back inside and questioned, "'Mother' and 'father' when we purchase the pelmini can we also stop and get me some Milk-Bones?"

 

This comment had the desired effect as 'mother' and 'father' began arguing. Yes! Once again I was in control...

 

Flashback – Ira, Mira and Safia – in Israel

 

Mira wanted to proceed to interrogate the rest of the Baker Street Irregulars. However, I had grown weary of Mira enjoying all the amusement of solving this new case as Sherlock Holmes! I perceived that fairness dictated it was my opportunity to perform Sherlock's role so I complained, "Mira, your mirth has exceeded the boundaries of my patience. Therefore I am invalidating our previous agreement and will now assume the role of Sherlock Holmes..."

 

It was impossible to believe what my auditory units perceived! Not only did my sister Ira greatly deviate from her assigned character as Doctor Watson, she now desired to change our agreed on rules and abscond with the role of Sherlock Holmes from my corporeal self. I glared at her, placed my digital extremities on my iliac crests and challenged (of course still in the character of Sherlock Holmes), "Dr. Watson, I do believe you have imbibed too great of a quantity of Mrs. Hudson's aperitif. Immediately return to our domicile until you are sober."

 

Dr. Watson countered, "Mira, if you do not release the role of Sherlock Holmes to my corporeal self, I will take the role forcibly."

 

It was time for me to temporarily relinquish my characterization of Sherlock Holmes so I accepted the challenge, "If you assume that is even a remote possibility, then I welcome the confrontation..."

 

Uh oh, I could tell a major confrontation was coming between Ira and Mira! Since I really didn't want to be involved in such a blowup I slowly slipped toward the door. I was almost out of the room when Ira (Dr. Watson) questioned, "Baker Street Irregular, what are your feelings concerning this matter?"

 

Even having had a limited education, I knew better than to stay and answer that question! I ran from the room as fast as I could as a small war erupted behind me...

 

Flashback – Todd – On the island

 

I escaped the masked troops and ran my ass off until… Son of a bitch – I missed one of Liu's traps and the next thing I knew I was the catch of the day! However, rather than yelling my ass off as the Chinese troops did, I kept as quiet as possible and watched the trail I'd come down. It wasn't long until the masked troops showed up and like I had hoped, they didn't bother to look up.

 

They kept running, passed right underneath me and kept going. I was ready to thank my lucky stars when Liu arrived and began to cut me down. She lowered me to the ground, cut the tie wraps restraining my hands and we took off in the direction opposite to that where the masked troops headed.

 

I had a ton of questions but no way to ask Liu just who in the hell those masked troops were and what in the hell did they plan on doing to me. We looped back toward the base and I was shocked when I saw what was happening.

 

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