Chapter 066

Home 2 Chapter 066

Copyright 2014 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia


Flashback – Ben – In Moscow


I was eating the great meal that Tatiana brought me after I thought I had really screwed things up and would never see her again. But something wasn't quite right. Tatiana was as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs which is something I'd never observed in her before - other than the time when Elena pulled the gun on her and Masha. Yeah, something wasn't right – no that's not right either, something was familiar. I studied the plate and it looked familiar as hell. When I looked closely at the piece of chocolate for dessert, I finally figured it out. I'd eaten this exact same meal before with Jack and Masha at her place and recognized Masha's Lomonosov china1. I especially recognized the heart shaped chocolate dessert because Jack was proud as hell when he bought them for Masha and then bragged about it for the whole damn day.


1 Lomonosov china


The problem I had was what the hell good was this information? It wasn't like I could do anything with it. If I said anything to Tatiana it would make things even worse than they were earlier in the day.  For once I took the smart path, didn't say anything about my discovery, finished the meal, smiled at Tatiana and thanked her profusely, "Thanks honey that was a great meal, I especially liked the chocolate for dessert."


She got a gleam in her eyes and said, "Your dessert is not finished yet."


I not so truthfully reminded her, "Honey, I hate to tell you this, but after Svetlana's abuse of me today (I wanted to add, and the fucking lie about the food, but knew better), what I would really like is something not too strong for pain and then to go to sleep."


Her mouth dropped open slightly in surprise then she quickly recovered and answered, "Yes Ben, I understand. I will leave and get you some pain medicine immediately."


I was thankful as hell when she left since I sure as hell didn't like the game she was playing. Plus, for some other reason which I couldn't fathom, I really didn't want sex tonight - it might be because of my other plans...


Flashback – Tatiana – In Moscow


I was very shocked as this was the first time that Ben hadn't wanted sex and I was worried. Hundreds of concerns flashed across my mind: Perhaps Ben was correct, Svetlana's therapy was too intense; or perhaps Ben was getting sick; or even perhaps even the worst fear of all - he was growing tired of me. I forced myself to maintain my professional demeanor, went to the nurse's station, signed out a moderately strong analgesic and returned to Ben's room. I was shocked when I arrived because he was already asleep. I returned the drug to the nurses station, made sure the head nurse witnessed me signing it back in and then I called Masha...


Masha answered the phone and I began...


Flashback – Masha – In Moscow


I had just finished making the salad for Jack and served it to him. I was extremely grateful to Ben for broaching the subject of Jack's weight gain because it saved me from having to discuss the weighty situation with Jack. I sat down, across from Jack, to eat a salad of my own when I received a phone call. I left the table to answer the phone, determined it was from Tatiana and listened as she frantically said, "Masha, Ben didn't want me for dessert and I don't understand the situation."


I questioned, "Not even after you gave him the plate of food and told him you cooked it?"


My curiosity was aroused when it took a moment too long before she informed me, "No Masha, he thanked me for the food and the dessert. I told him dessert wasn't over yet, began to take off my nurse's uniform and he told me that after the physical therapy today all he wanted was something mild for pain and to sleep. I went to the nurse's station, checked out a mild analgesic and returned to the room only to find he was already asleep."


I did not like the sound of this so I pondered her actions for a few moments. My concern was because I did not prepare the dessert she mentioned so I questioned, "What was the dessert which Ben thanked you for?"


Tatiana took even longer to reply and then confessed, "Masha, I am sorry but I took one of the heart shaped chocolates that Jack gave you for Ben's dessert."


I rushed to my cabinets, checked the contents and determined that Tatiana used one of my Lomonosov china plates so I had a good idea what had occurred. I controlled my emotions as I lied to Tatiana, "Tatiana, I am not sure what is going on. However, Jack and I are eating dinner and I will discuss it with him and call you back later."


I came back to the table as Jack glared and complained…


Flashback – Jack – In Moscow


I could tell that Tatiana once again called Masha but this was right in the middle of dinner and I hate having dinner interrupted! While this wasn't one of Masha's greatest meals, it was my fault for asking her to help me lose weight and I could tell she spent a hell of a lot of time making this salad edible.


She came back to the table and I asked, "I could tell that was Tatiana, what the hell did Banzai do this time to piss her off?"


Masha answered, "Jack, I don't think it was Ben this time, I think it was Tatiana."


I sighed, played with my salad and complained, "Hell no! Don't tell me she's started messing things up too!"


Masha smiled at me and asked, "Jack, I'm going to describe what happened and would like to know if you think Ben might have determined what actions we took."


Masha told me how she gave Tatiana the French meat meal she had made for me (it impressed me even more that she was able to make this damn fine salad so fast), Tatiana told Ben she made it herself, took it to Banzai on one of Masha's fine china plates and had also included (this really pissed me off) one of the chocolate hearts that I had bought for Masha.


I finished off the last bite of my salad and was actually and surprisingly full. I looked at Masha and answered, "Banzai is sharp as hell and he certainly figured out exactly what happened. If you remember he ate the same meal here before on your china plates but what really clinches the deal is her taking one of the chocolate hearts I gave you. I showed those to Banzai and bragged about them so I know he would remember those."


Masha looked sad and asked the next logical question, "Jack, what do you think Ben will do about this?"


I shook my head and answered, "Tatiana really screwed up when she lied to Banzai - that was the worst possible thing she could do. Let me go and explain to Banzai what happened tomorrow and I might be able to fix things."


Masha told me, "Jack, I would be eternally grateful." Then she gave me a preview of what 'eternally grateful' was and it almost made the cluster fuck the women created worth it. However my mood was ruined when she got out of bed to call Tatiana…


Flashback – Ben – In Moscow


I successfully tricked Tatiana into believing I was asleep, so with her out of the way tonight I waited impatiently for them to arrive – hell I was just as impatient as Tatiana was nervous earlier. I began to write two of the hardest letters I had ever written in my life, put them in separate envelopes and continued to wait. My whole plan would be ruined if Tatiana came back.


Finally they arrived and I began to implement my plan...


Flashback – Glen – At the military hospital


I couldn't believe the e-mail Jennifer showed me! She had always complained about that fucking boy trying to do things with her, but I assumed it was because of her silly infatuation with someone else. I wondered why he kept showing up at every piece of shit ballet school we took Jennifer to, now I knew why: The little bastard was stalking her!!!


Jennifer continued her complaints, "Daddy, I asked Katie for a new bed but she said they couldn't give me one."


I wanted to swear but decided to save my wisdom for those that deserved it and answered, "Don't worry Jennifer, you are going to get a new bed and much more. Stay right here while I take care of this."


I stormed out of her hospital room, stomped up to the nurse's station and ordered, "I want to see the head nurse on duty tonight immediately! If she's not here in less than ten minutes, I will have all of you reassigned to someplace so cold you will never get warm again."


That lit a fire under their collective asses and they began to page the head nurse. Jennifer's nurse came up and inquired, "Sir, what seems to be the problem?"


I glared at her, controlled my natural impulse to deck her ass and demanded, "Did my Jennifer show you the pictures that bastard boy sent her?"


She had a concerned look and answered, "Yes Sir she did."


I continued, "And did she request a new bed because of what transpired on her bed?"


She gulped and answered, "Yes she did?"


I barked, "Attention! Excuse fucking me! How did you just address me?"


She snapped to attention and I could see the fear in her eyes as she corrected herself, "Yes Sir! She did."


I left her standing at attention as the head nurse ran up. I recognized her as soon as she arrived. She noticed Katie standing at attention and was smart enough to come up, snap to attention, salute me and then ask, "Permission to speak Sir?"


I glared at both of them and ordered, "Keep your mouths shut and remain at attention."

While I was waiting for Betty, the head nurse, I had come up with a plan. I left them standing there, walked back into Jennifer's room, became even more pissed since she was sitting on the floor and asked, "Jennifer, how old is your friend Megan?"


Jennifer told me, I walked back outside and was glad to see that both Betty and Katie were where I left them. I then walked across in front of them far enough away so they couldn't hear me, took out my mobile phone and called the JA - thank God he was still in the hospital. I apprised him of a situation with Jennifer and he said he'd be right up.


I walked over in front of Betty, uncomfortably close as a matter of fact, and confronted her, "Were you aware that the bed in my daughter's room was used for a sexual tryst between a boy and another girl?"


She answered correctly, "Permission to speak Sir?"


I answered, "You have permission to answer my direct questions only."


She answered, "Sir! I was not aware of this fact and I certainly do not condone such an act."


I barked at her, "Nurse, restrain your answers to my direct questions only! My daughter Jennifer informed her nurse over here, Katie, of the fact and requested a new bed because hers was soiled. Katie informed my daughter it was impossible to give her a new bed."


Betty looked like she was going to speak but I glared at her and watched as she bit her lip. The JA ran up, quickly analyzed the situation and said, "Sir, I arrived as quickly as possible but the elevators in this hospital are a joke. And Sir I believe I have a plan to rectify this situation."


I smiled at him and said, "That's great news because if we cannot rectify this problem to the satisfaction of my daughter, I'm going to be reassigning personnel to Thule starting with these two nurses."


He requested, "Sir, might I have a word with you in private?"


We moved to the side of the room, he described his plan and I congratulated him, "That is an awesome fucking plan - let me know what you need to implement it."


He smiled at me and answered, "Sir, thank you for the compliment. This is a serious matter, needs to be handled in a serious way and if you do not mind, I would like to handle this myself."


I reminded him, "Only as long as my daughter is kept absolutely safe."


He gave me his assurance that she would be totally safe, then he walked over in front of Betty and Katie and informed them, "I am declaring the bed in the room of General Donaldson's daughter evidence in a criminal matter. I will have MP's take custody of the bed and control its chain of evidence. You will provide her with a new bed immediately."


Betty explained their lack of immediate response, "Sir, the General ordered us to stand at attention."


I ordered, "Move your asses and get that new damn bed."


They took off like their asses were on fire! Four MP's came up, two covered Jennifer's bed with a plastic cover and took it out of her room while the other two waited. Jennifer watched everything and finally asked…


Flashback – Jennifer – At the military hospital


Wow, I could hear Daddy yelling at the nurses in my room with the door closed - I was sure glad he never yelled at me like that.


Then he walked into the room, with the JA (I still didn't like him) and four MP's. They covered my nasty bed with plastic and two of them took it out of the room. I looked at Daddy and asked, "Daddy what's going on?"


He smiled at me and answered, "Jennifer, the JA will explain this to you since it's his plan."


As the JA began to explain his plan, I began to feel a little better about him; however he was still a lawyer. I couldn't believe what he asked me to do and wasn't sure I could do it. He smiled at me (as he always did) then he helped me write the e-mail. We sent it, and waited…


Flashback – Alexi – At home


'Mother' came back to the car with a shopping bag. I opened the bag and complained, "Did you forget my Milk-Bones?"


She answered, "No Alexi, you are not a dog therefore I did not buy you Milk-Bones."


Because of concern over possible shock treatment, I did not pursue the issue further. We arrived home, 'father' opened the door, and it was time to put my new plan into action. When Chowmein, our Siamese cat, came out to greet us, I began to growl at Chowmein (I really hated the cat anyway). She looked at me funny, then I began to bark and ran toward her. She gave me a look of utter disbelief but I kept barking and advancing. She finally determined I was serious, arched her back, hissed at me and ran under the couch. I dropped down on all fours, circled the couch and continued to bark.


I glanced at my 'parents' out of the corner of my eye: The shocked look on their faces was priceless. Finally 'mother' scolded, "Alexi, what are you doing?"


I stood up, looked at 'mother' and answered, "I am playing with Chowmein as I always do. Do you not remember? Perhaps I have been away from home so long you have forgotten how we play with each other?"


I could tell I had pushed all of 'mother's' buttons correctly (she loved that stupid cat more than me) as her mouth dropped open and 'father intervened, "Alexi, come to your room with me."


I complained, "But I have not bitten Chowmein's tail yet. You know how much she likes that."


'Mother' looked ready to explode while 'father' rushed me into my room. Once we were in my room 'father' suggested, "Alexi it has been a tiring day, why don't you rest while I heat up the pelmini?"


I smiled at 'father' and answered, "Thank you 'father' that is an excellent suggestion." I turned around three times and lay on the floor.


'Father' merely muttered as he left my room...


Flashback – Mira and Ira – in Israel


Ira (I say Ira because she had totally abandoned the role of Dr. Watson) countered, "Mira, if you do not release the role of Sherlock Holmes to my corporeal self, I will retrieve the role forcibly."


It was time for me to temporarily relinquish my characterization of Sherlock Holmes so I accepted the challenge, "If you assume that is even a remote possibility, then I welcome the confrontation."


Safia sprinted out of the room, I dropped back into a defensive position and Ira began to circle me. She falsely surmised, "Mira, do not force me to injure you"


I laughed in her face, "Irina Sedankina, the time has long since been completed when you could best me in a fight." Then I applied the Materazzi effect2 with a taunt, "You are just jealous because I am the superior Sherlock Holmes…"


2 Materazzi effect – the strategic use of anger in competitive interactions. Named after Marco Materazzi an Italian soccer (football) player who angered rival Zinedine Zidane enough to get him ejected from the World Cup final in 2006


I recognized Mira's apropos application of the Materazzi effect and decided to table the turns with an insult of my own, "Mira, it is your portrayal of Sherlock Holmes that elicited the mirthfulness in both Safia and Akhmed. Your continued reliance on the insipid and idiotic hat has made you the stock of laughing of the entire domicile."


I was surprised when my Materazzi effect elicited an immediate attack from Mira! It was such a great surprise she actually landed a blow to my cheek before I properly defended myself.


Mira continued her taunts, "Now who is the stock of laughing?"


I prepared to reply when we were rudely interrupted by Akhmed.


Akhmed walked into the room, noticed our confrontation and stammered, "Uh…uh…uh, excuse me but Safia said you wanted to see me."


Mira glared at him and began, "You bulbous, behemoth baboon…"


I continued, "…be gone or be beaten!"


Akhmed emitted a scream akin to a juvenile female and translocated from the room in such haste his behemoth rolls of fat flapped akin to the ears of a long eared saluki with its head external to a moving vehicle. This set both of us to mirthfulness when Mira evilly suggested, "Ira, it appears Safia has left the bb-gun of retribution in her haste to depart…"


I gleaned her thoughts and completed the thought, "…shall we acquire it and assist Akhmed in his flight?"


Mira acquired the gun and I yelled, "Come Sherlock the game is afoot."


Sherlock replied indignantly, "Dr. Watson that is my line…"


Flashback – Safia – in Israel


After I made it out of the library in time, and sent Akhmed into the room and into certain punishment, I located a good hiding place where I could watch the action. Yes I know it was mercenary of me, but better to punish Akhmed than myself. Besides, after bribing the cook and attempting to bribe me he deserved whatever he got from the girls.


I was disappointed when he ran from the room screaming like a little girl and almost left my hiding place when Mira and Ira charged from the room chasing Akhmed with the bb-gun. There was only one problem: If I stayed where I was I couldn't see the action.


So once the twins passed me, I slipped out of my hiding place and scurried behind them…


Flashback – Mira and Ira – in Israel


We gained on our adversary, and I openly speculated to Dr. Watson, "Watson, I feel I have just had a mental awakening."


Dr. Watson responded, "Pray do tell me Sherlock."


I replied with a question, "Watson who is our primary arch enemy?"


Watson stated, "Sherlock, why do you ask since we both know it is the evil and nefarious Professor James Moriarty."


I informed her, "Watson, I do believe he has been residing with us beneath our nasal appendages. He is none other than Akhmed."


Watson gasped, "Sherlock, once again your powers of deductive reasoning baffle me!"


My tympanic units detected a sound behind us and I informed, "Dr. Watson it appears we have acquired a tail."


Dr. Watson turned and supplied the answer, "Sherlock do not concern yourself, it is merely our primary Baker Street Irregular…"


Flashback – Safia – in Israel


Oh boy! If I heard right this was going to be more fun than ever. The twins had decided that Akhmed was their enemy, Professor James Moriarty. I was sure that a serious interrogation session was coming once they captured him. In some ways I felt a little badly about it, but in other ways he deserved it for bribing the cook and trying to bribe me.


The twins caught him as he reached the quarters of the young girls. His soon to be wives and I couldn't believe what happened next…


Flashback – Todd – On the island


Liu understood what was going to happen to the new bunch of female prisoners, probably better than anyone else because she was likely one of them at one time. She also realized if we were to free the women we needed more effective weapons than the bows which the masked men were able to defeat by blocking the arrows with their armored forearms.


She motioned for me to follow her. I trailed her to a new cave which was loaded with weapons. She motioned to me and I began to gear up first with a pre-assembled tactical vest loaded with extra magazines and grenades. Then I strapped on a sidearm with many extra magazines and grabbed a rifle from the rack. Liu had done the same except that she picked up two rifles and motioned for me to take another one. I grabbed a second rifle and slung it over my back.


Then we moved out, again so silently it was eerie. The lack of sound was deafening even though we were loaded with all the gear to free the new prisoners. I wasn't sure what the plan was but I knew there was no way in hell I would let anything happen to those women…