Chapter 071

Home 2 Chapter 071

Copyright 2014 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia

 

Present – Ben - leaving the cabin

 

I'm using the chemical suit and booties to try to make it hard for Destiny to trail me. I'm not sure she is a Shaman. In fact, I don't know what the fuck she is (other than a crunchy granola chick)! But after watching her figure out where to place the Tabasco bottle IEDs, I knew she had a hell of a good nose on her. Ah that reminds me, she won the bet about where to place the final two IEDs: Hers was detonated by the greenies while mine was undisturbed. I'm sure glad I didn't place a bet on that.

 

I take off running but I still can't help but feel I'm being watched. As I move further away from the cabin, that feeling finally leaves...

 

Present – Destiny – following Ben

 

Huh! Now this is very interesting: While I'm following Ben, I pick up someone following me... The interesting part is they aren't human. I wrongly assumed if anyone is going to follow me it would be Stacy Summers. She's smart as a whip and I'm sure after the way the bear ran away and the horses behaved when I arrived to deliver Ben's message to Jennifer, she discerned I was the cause of the previous problems with the bear and horses. No, it's this strange looking dog - I'm hot on Ben's trail and he's hot on my trail. No problem, I will just turn and confront him.

 

I turn, let him catch up to me, snarl at him, raise the hair on my back and... HELLO, what the hell are you doing!

 

Present – Ben - leaving the cabin

 

I didn't like the feeling I had earlier of being watched because that particular talent is almost never wrong. So I decide to take a side trail, double back and see if I can catch the fucker tailing me. I reach a little clearing and I blink twice because I can't believe my eyes! On the side of the clearing furthest from my position, there is a mangy looking dog and Anastasia the fox! Hell, I haven't seen her since I've been back and it's good as hell to see her again. The surprising part is that on the side of the clearing closest to me, there's a fucking wolf! Hells bells I thought all the wolves in the Rocky Mountains had been killed years ago. The three of them are in a serious fucking Mexican standoff that I can hear even where I'm located. The mangy dog and Anastasia the fox are growling like crazy and the hair on their backs is standing so tall they look like they have Mohawks – and the wolf isn't backing down. It's snarling and snapping at the two of them and its hair is tall but not quite as tall as the mangy dog and Anastasia.

 

But a mangy dog and Anastasia the fox against a wolf? There isn't much hope for the two of them so I decide to intervene. Hell, most everyone I grew up with in this area would just shoot the wolf because they would worry it would kill their livestock or just because they would have a chance to brag about killing a wolf. But fuck, I don't have any damn nasty cows and all the horses (other than Bo) are a real pain in the ass. Besides, Grandpa's teaching still resounds in my heart, 'Ben, never kill an animal that you don't plan on eating' - and I'm sure as hell not going to eat a wolf. So I stand up and yell at the wolf, "Get the fuck out of here and leave that mangy dog and my fox alone before I shoot your ass!" I pull up my rifle, scope it out and put a round a couple feet behind the wolf just to emphasize I am serious.

 

It works because the wolf takes off like its tail is on fire. The mangy dog and Anastasia the fox look at me and I swear Anastasia smiles at me. Then they run away in the opposite direction toward the cabin.

 

Present – Destiny – following Ben

 

That was too close for comfort but again the Great Spirit smiled on me. When I confronted the dog I assumed he would run away. Instead he stood his ground and I was shocked when a fox joined him! So I redoubled my snarling and raised the hair on my back even higher but it didn't faze them and I was concerned that I would have to fight and possibly hurt them.

 

Unbeknownst to me, because of my involvement with the impending confrontation, Ben doubled back and saw the three of us. Thank the Great Spirit he didn't shoot me like many would! He did however scare the hell out of me when he yelled about his fox (I need to ask him later about this) and then fired an almost silent round that hit a few feet behind me. Yes, if Ben had wanted he could have killed me and I would have failed in my mission - then I realized I had Ben's Grandfather to thank because he taught Ben correctly. I run as far and as fast I can until I determine I am out of range, then I switch back to my human form because I don't want to illicit the ire of that dog or fox again. I slip back to the clearing where we had the confrontation and I discover a big problem...

 

Present – Ben - leaving the cabin

 

Now that was fun, it was great seeing the wolf hightail it out of the area like her tail was on fire! Yeah, I knew she was a she because I could tell when I put my scope on her that she didn't have any male wolf parts. Once I'm sure the Mexican standoff is over, it's my turn to hightail it out of the area and once again I switch directions. I secretly smile to myself because something really good has come out of the protracted battle with the greenies: I had begun to feel a little old and slow but kicking their asses has rejuvenated me – the old Ben is back. Hell, I'm not even too upset anymore about not killing Mike (Destiny was right but I will never admit that to her), it was more satisfying to put him through all the shit (much of it literal) that I did and then knowing the fucking bastard slunk away like a beaten cur with its tail between its legs...

 

Wait a fucking minute! That was as female wolf and I remember Ivan called Destiny 'a wolf that is also a lady'! Could she have been? No fucking way...

 

Present – Jens, Stacy, Liz, Bernie, Jack, Masha, Ivan and Samantha - At the cabin

 

I begin to get everyone focused on finding Ben instead of arguing. Masha and Ivan return, then Stacy's trailers begin to arrive and we are distracted. Stacy rides off on her horse and begins to order the truckers where to put the trailers. This actually makes me happy since I would rather have her messing with her fucking trailers than trying to find my Ben.

 

We hear a hell of an explosion and I worry at first we are under attack again! I turn my head in the direction of the explosion, point and question, "Is that what I think it is?"

 

Bernie follows my arm and provides the answer with another question, "Is that a flying Port-a-potty?"

 

Liz questions (without swearing because of Ivan), "What in the world caused that?"

 

It crashes to the ground and a bunch of Marines begin yelling. Stacy rides over to the trashed Port-a-potty on the ground, pulls out her phone and makes a call on her mobile phone (hey, I guess phones are working again here, how the hell did that happen?) then rides over to us on her damn horse and clues us in, "The old guy who was here was trying to defuse a bomb in the Port-a-potty accidentally triggered it."

 

I look at Masha, she turns white and asks, "Do you mean my husband?"

 

Stacy answers, "I guess so since the Marines are calling him Jack and he's really messed up. I did call my medic and he should be here soon."

 

Masha frantically asks, "Elizabeth…"

 

Liz interrupts, "Masha go, I will take care of Ivan."

 

Masha runs toward the trashed Port-a-potty then some woman I don't know runs up and asks, "Did I just see Masha leave?"

 

I demand, "Who the heck are you and what are you doing on my property?"

 

She waves her hand and says, "Forget it, I know it was her." And then she takes off running after Masha."

 

Then a couple guys I haven't seen for a long while arrive and add to the confusion…

 

Present – Thom and Byron- at the cabin

 

We watch as Inga talks to Jennifer then takes off after Masha. We walk up to Jennifer and I comment, "Don't tell me you got shot again."

 

Jennifer looks at us and quips, "I would say something worse, but Ivan is here so look what the cat dragged in."

 

By her comment I understand to watch my language as to not incur the wrath of Masha then laugh and ask, "What in the world happened to the Port-a-potty? Did someone eat too many beans?"

 

Jennifer gets a serious look on her face and answers, "Mike left us some traps and while Jack tried to defuse one he accidentally triggered it."

 

Byron yells, "Shhhoot, I need to go see if he's okay." He then runs after Masha and Inga.

 

I hold up my hand and say, "Give me a minute then we can continue to trade insults." I pull out my phone, raise some serious hell with the TSIFFTS and they finally promise to send one of their medical planes to assist with Jennifer, Jack and any other injured personnel. I hang up the phone and Jennifer says, "Wow you really gave them shhh- a very bad time. What's going on?"

 

I show Jennifer my disgust with my expression and tell her, "I'm ashamed as heck with what they've done or mostly failed to do. Heck, they bailed on you guys when things got tough and I've been trying for a week to get them back here but now they've finally agreed. I'm glad I could finally change their minds."

 

Jennifer smiles and says, "Thanks Thom for giving them heee uh heck for me. But I'm not sure it was you that talked them into coming back, I think it was Mike’s leaving that influenced it more."

 

I smack my head and agree, "I bet your right, I didn't think of that. He's really given the TSIFFTS a load of BS so it's no wonder they wouldn't return until now."

 

Ivan interrupts our conversation and says, "I know BS is Bull Shit! You say a bad word!"

 

I smile at him, decide to turn the tables and respond, "Oh yeah, well you just said two bad words! Wait until I tell Masha!"

 

I feel bad because he begins to cry and Liz complains, "Thom, just look what you have done!" She takes Ivan away, I return to a smile and say to Jennifer, "That's better, now I don't have to watch what I'm saying. Before I forget, whoever is setting up the trailers is really fucking up."

 

Jennifer smiles and suggests, "That would be Stacy Summers and I would appreciate it if you related your concerns directly to her."

 

I rub my chin and ask, "Isn't she the one that spent some time with Ben? That must be uncomfortable for you?"

 

Jennifer answers, "You don't know the half of it! Miranda Sedankina was here for a short time too until Mike took them away."

 

I scratch my head and ask Jennifer to elaborate, "Was it just her or her equally evil twin sister?"

 

Jennifer gives me a half way good answer, "It was Miranda, her sister Irina, their brother Alexi and another guy named Todd. He was the only one who seemed okay."

 

I whistle then reply, "Shit! Three assassins and what I can only assume is an assassin in training."

 

Jennifer looks perplexed and asks, "Thom, please fill in that answer a bit."

 

I shake my head and respond, "You know about the twin sisters but if Todd is who I think he is, he's more dangerous than they are but thank God he's not psychotic. And I am assuming the twins are teaching their brother, who I didn't even know they had, the so to say 'family business'."

 

Then I continue, "You've had one hell of a time here and let me tell you our mission didn't go any better. Near as we can figure out, we think Megan and the drug lord left before we even arrived. Inga thinks that Megan might have come here and helped to get your mother out of the mental hospital."

 

Jennifer asks, "Was Inga the woman who ran up to me and asked about Masha?"

 

I confirm, "Yeah, that was her. I'm not sure what their relationship is but she was worried as hell about Masha."

 

Jennifer continues the interrogation, "Did Inga say what made her believe Megan helped my mother to escape?"

 

I think she told me at the time so I rack my brain for the answer but only have a serious brain fart and say, "I'm not sure, you will need to ask her."

 

Jennifer laughs, it's good as hell to hear her laugh until she insults me, "Thom, don't lie to me. Tell the truth. Do you have a case of C-R-A-F-T?"

 

I scratch my head and ask, "What the hell is craft."

 

Jennifer continues with her laugh and says, "Not craft, C-R-A-F-T - it's an acronym for Can't Remember A Fucking Thing!"

 

I laugh and correct her, "That's not right because I can remember many fucking things, but sometimes like right now I have a case of CRS."

 

Jennifer laughs once again and I'm amazed she has kept her sense of humor through all the shit she's been though and answers, "Well I know that one too: You Can't Remember to Shit!"

 

I laugh again at the spirited exchange, "Excuse me missy, you added an extra T that I didn't add: I don't have problems shitting because I'm not some constipated woman. But sometimes I Can't Remember Shit."

 

Jennifer provides an immediate example, "Like how you were going to go tell Stacy she's fucking up at setting up the trailers?"

 

I reply with a tease, "I can tell when I'm not wanted." And I leave to go tell Stacy how she's messing up.

 

Present – Stacy and Thom - at the cabin

 

I'm busy telling the drivers where I want the trailers when some COF (Crusty Old Fart) walks up and asks, "Are you Stacy Summers?"

 

I answer, "I sure am and I'm busy right now."

 

He laughs and insults me, "Yeah, your busy fucking up!"

 

I turn Patches toward him, glare at him and demand, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

 

He points to the trailers and answers, "While you might aesthetically like lining the trailers up in neat little rows, like the little suburban houses made of ticky-tacky, what you are creating is an excellent opportunity for the terrorist bastards to blow the fuck out of everyone with fewer RPGs."

 

I begin to challenge him, then look at the line of trailers and realize he could be right so I challenge him, "You are probably correct and I didn't even think about that. Since you seem to be such an expert on this, I will leave you to arrange the trailers to your liking."

 

He complains, "Gee thanks for nothing."

 

I tease him back, "Nothing ventured; nothing gained."

 

He begins to tell the drivers to move the trailers again to which they spew a mix of complaints and whines. He then counters, "I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing."

 

I recognize the quote as being from Plato so I counter with Tolstoy from War and Peace, "We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom."

 

He continues with, "To do nothing is the way to be nothing."

 

Ah that one was from Hawthorne, so I give him one to really think about, "Opportunities will come and go, but if you do nothing about them, so will you. So stop wasting my time with nothing and do something with these trailers."

 

He laughs at me, gives me a half-assed salute and says, "Yes Sir!"

 

I correct with a quote from Ben, "I'm not an officer I work for a living." Then I begin heading toward the trashed Port-a-potty.

 

He slings one more insult as I leave, "I never met a woman that didn't think she was a fucking General with the last name of Pain."

 

I wonder who the fuck COF really is when I turn and watch how he's arranging the trailers. Even though I don't know who the fuck he is, I decide he does know how to position the trailers…

 

Present – Todd, Ira and Alexi – In their room

 

After being informed the hotel room was no longer being furnished 'free' (as in free beer) of charge for us we decide to leave together in case this was some sort of trap planned by the ever devious Mike. Mira informed us she didn't have to pack, didn't bother to wait for the rest of us and dashed back to the room. When we arrived at the room, there was no Mira.

 

Ira asks, "Where in hades is my sister?"

 

Alexi searches the room and states, "Mira's hand baggage is gone."

 

I don't like this at all so I sign, "I do believe Mira has already left."

 

Ira vociferously complains, "Mira must be suffering from an intense case of neural-synaptic gas (brain fart) to depart without the remainder of us when she could be the objective of a snare."

 

Instead of complaining, we need to act so I sign, "If Mira was to go to the cabin site by herself, which method of transportation would she use?"

 

Ira smiles at me uncomfortably (again) and answers…

 

Once again Todd shows extreme care for my family with his excellent question. I crimson slightly and respond, "I am aghast to admit that my sister and I are not experts in the operation of quad wheeled motorized transportation."

 

Alexi laughs, rudely interrupts and then offers yet again, "That is putting it quite mildly; my sisters are a danger to civilization when behind the wheel. I have informed them if they would practice by playing the great game of Grand Theft Auto, their driving skills would be greatly enhanced."

 

I glare at him and continue, "However our skill on two wheeled vehicles in unrivaled! Therefore I feel we can assume that my sister Mira has 'borrowed' a motorcycle."

 

Todd makes an observation which nullifies my assumption and signs, "Ira, I do not want to anger you with a contradiction, but if Mira 'borrowed' a motorcycle, where would she place the suitcases?"

 

Alexi finally responds with something while worth…

 

Todd makes and excellent observation however we are wasting time when we should be looking for her so I inform them, "We are wasting time discussing this when we should be packing the excellent suitcases the Broadmoor hotel provided for us along with the fine clothing they furnished. With the head start Mira has on us we will never catch her unless we were to take a helicopter, so I would suggest we pack and then find a car we can borrow."

 

Ira and Todd both nod their heads in agreement so we begin to pack while discussing my sister Mira's temporary insanity…

 

Present – Mira – Heading to the cabin

 

Unlike the rest of my family and Todd, I have been prepared for the moment at which we could leave so I could rescue my Ben from the evil clutches of Major Mike. I rush to the room, bring my bags downstairs and through the front doors where I have previously observed a multitude of taxi cabs awaiting business.

 

I choose not to take the first taxi cab in line because they have a tendency to be less motivated. Instead, I choose an older but still functional appearing taxi cab. The driver helps me load my bags into the trunk, I get in the posterior seat behind the driver and he questions, "Where to Ms.?"

 

I respond, "Leadville Colorado haste of post."

 

He scratches his head deliberates a moment and answers, "Ms. I know I am picking you up from the Broadmoor hotel, so that means you had to have some money to stay here. However that trip will cost several hundred dollars so I would like to have a deposit of at least one hundred dollars before I agree to take you."

 

I do not have time to argue with this buffoon so I expertly apply the hold of sleeper to him. After a brief struggle he succumbs to the hold and is rendered inoperable. I exit the posterior seat of the taxi cab, relocate the soporific taxi operator to the alternate anterior seat, assume the operator position, adjust all the controls for my frame size and proceed haste of post toward Leadville.

 

Present - Zarika and Yasmeen – In Juvenile detention

 

Another day and once again Ms. Horndog comes into my room. I glare at her and say, "Forget it, I have nothing to tell you." Then I show her the finger and she leaves…

 

Ms Hornyhog comes into my room so I turn, face the wall and plug my ears. She has nothing to say that I wish to hear…

 

I wait for some time, turn around and she is gone.

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