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Chapter 86

Home Chapter 86

Copyright 2012 – 2013 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia 


Flashback – Jack – At the hospital


Masha was slowly waking up after fainting caused when I proposed to her and I was still chuckling about Banzai. He was such a clown sometimes but he sure kept life interesting. Masha opened her eyes and asked. "Jack, please do not tell me you are laughing at me for fainting."


I gave her a hell of a kiss and said, "Oh hell no, I was laughing at Banzai! He rolled by here a while ago riding on top of his bedside table looking for Tatiana."


She gave me a look that told me she didn't believe me and stated, "Jack, that sounds like a fairy tale. Do not tell me you are already lying to me now that we are practically engaged."


I started to explain things when a whole fucking circus paraded past: Banzai was in a wheelchair; Tatiana was pushing him; and they were followed by a gaggle of orderlies."


Masha saw Tatiana and immediately requested verification...


Flashback – Tatiana– At the hospital


I could not believe it! Ben cautiously handed me my underwear but it was such an embarrassment! Thank God the orderlies did not see the clandestine transfer or my reputation would be tarnished. And now we proceeded to return Ben to his room because President Putin wanted to see him. I was sure it was regarding Ben's role in Beslan but it was uncomfortable to think of meeting President Putin when I was fully dressed, let alone when I was missing a vital piece of my clothing. I only hoped that he or the reporters would not discover my missing garment.


I saw Masha and Jack sitting on some chairs in the hallway. Masha questioned as we passed, "Was Ben actually riding on his bedside table?"


I responded, "Yes, the crazy fool almost rolled down the stairs."


Ben complained, "Who are you calling a crazy fool? At least I'm wearing all my clothes."


Damn! I forgot Ben spoke Russian! I blushed and apologized, "Ben, I am sorry but it was very foolish to come after me."


Masha further asked, "Tatiana to which piece of clothing is Ben referring?"


I blushed and ignored the question. Thank God Ben laughed and deflected the question when he stated, "Not as foolish as you running away from me. By the way you need to congratulate Jack and Masha."


I questioned, "Congratulate them for what?"


Masha blurted, "Jack and I are almost engaged."


Ben yelled at Masha, which in turn caused Jack to become upset...


Flashback – Jack – At the hospital


What the hell! Banzai started yelling in Russian at Masha! I didn't care if he was my sniper, no one yelled at my woman unless they wanted their ass kicked! I jumped up and yelled back, "Banzai what in the hell are you doing yelling at Masha! Take it back or I will kick your ass!"


Banzai replied, "Jack, don't get your panties in a bunch until you know what the fuck is going on. Masha just told Tatiana that you two are almost engaged; now I thought you told me you proposed to her."


I felt like a fool and verified, "Hell, I did propose to her!" I looked at Masha and asked, "Sweetheart, I asked you to marry me. Aren't we engaged?"


She looked down at the floor and confessed, "Jack my love, until I have an engagement ring on my finger it will not seem official to me."


I came up with an immediate fix, "Hell, we can take care of that minor problem right now! Let's go find a jewelry store."


Masha got excited until Tatiana said something which troubled her. I demanded, "What the hell is wrong now!"


Tatiana answered, "Jack, President Putin is waiting for Ben in his room."


I replied, "What the hell is he doing here?"


Banzai suggested, "We won't know unless we get back to my room before he leaves."


I take over pushing Banzai while Masha and Tatiana start clucking like a pair of hens...


Flashback – Ben – At the hospital


Damn, it was funny as hell being the 'fly on the wall'. Masha and Tatiana often forgot that I spoke and understood Russian. Yeah, Jack should really learn more Russian because if he knew what they said, he would laugh his ass off.


In fact, if most men heard what their women said about them they would be shocked... We wrongly assume that the things we say or do (especially sexual things) were kept private - and that was a huge mistake... Women shared every-fucking-thing including the size with each other! Yeah when it came right down to it, they liked to brag about their men - just like their men liked to brag about their women.


I did have some concerns about how this would affect my blossoming relationship with Tatiana. I mean she was a hell of a woman, but I sure didn't want to get married. I was too damn young!


We rolled up to my room and stopped when I heard a hell of a bunch of yelling. Damn, I thought I recognized that voice...


Flashback – Jack – At the hospital


We got to Banzai's room and it sounded like fucking World War III was happening just inside. I heard a familiar voice order, "What the hell is wrong now? Get the fuck off me!"


Some female yelled in Russian - it must have been bad because Masha and Tatiana blushed.


The next thing I knew, some body guards hauled Major M and some Russian female out into the hallway. The Major saw me and demanded, "Sgt. Reynolds, what the hell did you do to me this time?"


The body guards paused and glared at me; Masha said something to them and they roughly carted the Major and the woman away while Banzai laughed like crazy.


I leaned over and whispered, "What's so damn funny?"


Banzai replied, "Masha told the body guards we didn't know who Major M was."


Masha explained, "If we had admitted knowing the Major, then they would have taken us into custody."


Banzai's doctor came out of the room and tried to displace me as the official wheelchair pusher. I made a fist like I had before and suddenly he had second thoughts and stated, "President Putin is waiting to see my patient."


I started to wheel Banzai into the room when he complained, "Jack, do we really have to?"


I laughed in reply, "Hell yes we have to! It's time for you to pay for your crazy assed heroics." And then I pushed the wheelchair into the room…


Flashback – Tatiana – At the hospital


Jack pushed Ben's wheelchair into his room and amazingly there stood President Putin with several of the military commanders of Russia. I was shocked that the President was still here since he was not known for his patience when he was forced to wait for others.


President Putin asked, "Will someone translate for me?"


Ben replied (in almost flawless Russian), "Sir, we will not need a translator. Your Russian is excellent."


I fought back laughter from Ben's little joke and hoped he didn't offend the President. The President smiled at the joke, walked toward Ben, stood in front of him and declared, "Sgt. Blaine, your selfless actions at Beslan resulted in saving numerous hostages and has captured the heart and soul of the Russian people. Such bravery from a person who is not even Russian must be rewarded."


I was shocked when Ben interrupted, "President Putin, I only did what needed to be done."


President Putin smiled again and continued, "Yes, we were told you were a humble man. However whether you like it or not, you are a hero of Russia and you will be justly rewarded."


Ben interrupted again, "President Putin, it is not right for me to be sitting while talking to you. Tatiana please help me stand."


Dr. Kaeoorov complained, "Sgt. Blaine, you can not stand."


Ben barked, "Well I sure as hell can't sit when meeting the President of Russia! Tatiana please help me."


I proceeded to one side of Ben, Jack assisted with the other side and we were amazed when Ben issued a protracted groan and somehow stood. Oh, he was not steady but he was using his legs and feet. Then Ben said, "Sir, now that I am standing, please continue."


President Putin displayed a document and officially declared, "Sgt. Blaine, from this day forward you are an honorary Russian citizen. Here is your documentation and Russian passport. Now that you are a Russian citizen, we award you our highest recognition, The Hero Of the Russian Federation."


I was shocked! I had heard of people who had received this honor but this was unheard of. Ben's voice cracked and it was obvious he was crying when he said, "Thank you Sir for such a great honor, but it's the hostages and the survivors that deserve this award.


President Putin gently questioned, "Sgt. Blaine, is your pain so great that it causes you to weep?'


Ben replied, "No Sir! I am not crying for my pain, I am crying for Russia that she had to endure the pain of this terrible tragedy."


President Putin stated, "I am in awe of your understanding of the Russian Soul. Unfortunately, we must go but if you need anything Sgt. Blaine, just contact me."


Ben then asked for the most amazing things...


Flashback – Ben – At the hospital


I was shocked! Oh I'd received medals before, but this medal was special because it came with a Russian citizenship. I wasn't quite sure how this was going to all work out. I mean, could I be an American Marine and a Russian citizen at the same time? I did some quick thinking and figured it was probably a big coup for the Corps if I was both so I didn't worry any more about that.


Then when President Putin asked if I needed anything, I figured I would ask and see how damn serious he was. So I responded, "President Putin I would like to ask for three favors."


He replied, "Yes Sgt. Blaine, continue."


My heart jumped when Ben asked, "First I would like for Tatiana to be assigned permanently as my fulltime nurse."


President Putin looked at Dr. Kaeoorov and ordered, "Consider it done."


Ben continued "I was also hoping you could help my best friend Jack. He has just proposed to Masha, would it be possible for one of your people to take care of the paperwork so they can be married?"


He answered, "My secretary will personally take care of this."


Ben finally said, "And about the man that was taken out of here earlier, I recognized his voice. He is our Major but seems to keep having some sort of problem with his paperwork. Would it be possible for him to be released to Jack's custody?"


President Putin motioned to his body guard, whispered something to him and said, "It is taken care of. Now we must be going."


They left the room then Ben gritted his teeth, collapsed into our arms and pleaded, "Okay guys, I need to get my ass in the bed."


Jack carefully picked up Ben, carried him to the bed and said, "Banzai, thanks so damn much for the help with Masha."


But Ben never heard Jack because he had become unconscious.


Dr. Kaeoorov rushed to his side and finally performed as Ben's doctor…


Flashback – Jens


Now this was very curious! I looked up the Tatiana female dog in the Interpol database and they had a ton of data on her. I was deep into studying her, when my computer began to beep and alert me that there was an active search trying to figure out who connected to the Interpol database.


Rats! I terminated the connection before I had the information I wanted on the Tatiana female dog. And what I had seen made me more confused than ever? What sort of crazy kind of nurse was she? I leaned back in my chair, tried to figure things out but instead decided to study some Russian...


Flashback – Major M – In a holding cell


I yelled, "You bastards are going to be sorry for locking me up! I will make this an International incident!" But the fuckers didn't listen to me. Hell, no one listened to me. I was sure it was caused by those damn Sgts. When I get out of here I am going to order their asses to Antarctica!


Hours passed but I still sat in the cell and wondered when or if I would get out of here. Suddenly one of the fucking goons came in and motioned to me. Finally I was going to get out of this damn cell! I hoped it was Vika who had arranged this but was disappointed to see Sgt. Reynolds when I walked into the office.


I walked up to him and complained, "It's about damn time you got me out of here!"


He smiled and corrected me, "Hell it wasn't me! You can thank Banzai because he used one of his three favors from the President to have you released."


I asked the Sgt. what the hell he meant and he related the whole story about Sgt. Blaine meeting President Putin and how Sgt. Blaine had me released into Sgt. Reynolds custody.


I questioned, "So just what does this 'released into your custody' mean?"


The Sgt. grinned, "I guess it means you have to obey me."


I questioned, "What the hell about Vika?"


Sgt. Reynolds replied, "What the hell is a Vika."


I explained to him about her and the Sgt. added, "I guess she stays here because Banzai didn't know anything about her. Now let's get back to the hospital."


I reminded him, "I'm still your commanding officer."


The Sgt. grinned, "Sorry, let's get back to the hospital - SIR!"


I thought - great, out of the fucking frying pan and into the fucking fire. The day I obeyed a Sgt., especially Sgt. Reynolds, would be the coldest fucking day in hell...


Flashback – Mira, Ira and Safia – in Israel


My sister Ira was incensed! She had assumed Safia would acquire an automobile as a means of conveyance. However, Safia approached driving the cart of ass and Irinka whined, "I will not depart haste of post in that vehicle. I demand an automobile."


Safia states, "You must accept what is available, we were fortunate I could steal this ass cart."


Our fiduciary funds depletion rendered this discussion point of moot because the crowd again approached our location.


I commanded, "We must depart now or fight the entire crowd."


However there was a major obstacle to our departure: The great girth of the evil man! Irinka sensed the problem...


Neither Mira nor I had sufficient strength to collocate the evil man into the vile, filthy and totally unsuitable cart of ass. I ran to the back to assist Mirinka but our combined selves still did not have the required energy so I commanded, "Safia, your assistance is greatly needed!"


Safia aided us and we finally had the combined energy to relocate the evil man and forcefully dumped him on filthy straw which crawled with vermin. However once he was placed in the cart of ass a problem of a different nature was created. His mass was so great that the ass was lifted from the ground which agitated the vile animal so he began to bray annoyingly.


Safia stated the obvious, "You two need to ride on the ass so that we can move."


I looked at Mira and realized Safia was correct even though I did not wish to ride upon the ass. Mira acquired my hand, we climbed onto the cart, worked our way out to the ass and our combined mass allowed the ass to touch the ground. Safia whipped the ass and we departed in a not so haste of post manner.


I loudly complained, "Mirinka my derriere will smell like ass..."


Safia giggled at my comment which I did not understand...