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Chapter 100

Home Chapter 100

Copyright 2012 – 2013 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia 


Flashback – Masha and Tatiana – Secret location


I informed my team of the Major's secret Morse code message hidden in his blinks. We quickly translated it but then began the hard work of deciphering it. Our immediate concern was because the message did not appear to make sense…


Tatiana swore in frustration, "What the hell does all this mean! It is always the letter C, followed by a number then an R or an L.


She correctly identified the pattern: It started C 60 R, C 45 L… and continued.


I speculated, "There is always an L or an R. I wonder if those are the turns that were taken, but what are the numbers that follow the C's?"


Tatiana added, "Then what is the S40 without an L or an R? And if he was romantically entangled with a young woman would he accurately keep track of the turns?"


I answered the question out loud, "He might if something was annoying him enough to also keep track of the time."


I looked at Tatiana and we both said, "The clicks of the meter in an old taxi!" Yes! We had deciphered the code but there was still one main problem…


Flashback – Major M – Held Hostage


I was still not sure how I did it, but the damn meter in the taxi made this annoying clicking noise that for some reason I counted. Okay, I guess I always had a bit of CCD1 and I counted everything since I was a kid. I knew the precise number of steps from my house to school (1037), the steps from my locker to each classroom and other what seemed useless at the time 'counts.'


1 CCD – Constant Counting Disorder – one of the manifestations of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.


I only hoped that someone could decipher what I was telling them but the big problem remained, I didn't give them the initial starting point…


Flashback – Masha and Tatiana – Secret location


I initiated a conference for my team, announced the information we had discovered, put them on speaker phone and requested their thoughts?


Olga stated, "According to the Major's dossier, he has exhibited some indices of OCD. So it is a possibility that your assumptions are correct."


Maria added, "After looking at the patterns it is the only thing that makes sense."


I reminded all of the most troubling fact, "If the assumption is correct, we have an immediate issue because we do not have the starting point."


Maria provided some of our solution, "If we add up all the clicks, that should give us the maximum numbers of seconds they were in the taxi, this would give us a general idea how far they traveled."


Olga questioned, "What about the FSB agents? Would not they have been in proximity of the Major when they were killed?"


I agreed, "Yes, they were following us closely every time we went out. But do we know where the FSB agent's bodies were found?"


My team was silent because that information had not and probably would not be readily released… I paused and then ordered, "Okay. Maria and Olga, you need work in Moscow to determine where the bodies of the FSB agents were found while Tatiana and I will proceed to gather information on the starting point."


I looked at Tatiana and confirmed she had already changed clothes and put on a wig. I needed to hurry and change to a disguise because one never knows when the bastard Chechens would kill a hostage. We needed to descend to the street and ask some of the locals if they saw the bodies of the FSB agents…


Flashback – Jack and Colonel Maggie – Under fire


Shit! Had this whole fucking village been taken over by Chechens? We were catching fire from three different directions and three different buildings. Oh, we were giving them hell firing back, but the problem with jihadists is they don't fucking care about dying and – well, for the first time in my life I had a hell of a reason not to die!!!


Colonel Maggie ordered, "Give me one of your extra weapons."


One of the Spetsnaz tossed her a spare AK and now she was fighting the bastards too.


I finally got a rifle so I could fight back. Hell, you'd think that the Spetsnaz would know all Marines, even female Marines, were riflemen. We were kicking ass then it happened…


They started firing the RPG's! I looked at the troops and ordered, "Let's get the hell out of here!"


Jack suggested, "Bounding overwatch to leave so we can keep each other covered."


The Spetsnaz Sgt. argued, "No! You two are the primary targets. Leave while we keep them occupied."


More RPG's were fired and exploded closer to us. Jack yelled, "Fuck this shit - let's move it."


We started to leave and then were surprised as hell…


Flashback – Ben – In the hospital


My Spetsnaz guards hauled ass with my bed out of my room after I called attention to the strange box. When we were what they considered far enough away, we stopped and they called their bomb unit.


A Captain came up and apologized, "Sgt. Blaine we are sorry about the unknown package in your room. The two Spetsnaz who were ordered to watch your room are now facing serious discipline charges."


That was one thing I had discovered: While the Spetsnaz were hellaciously good fighters, they sucked at sentry duty because of their attitude. Most of them felt it was beneath them to pull sentry duty.


I thanked him, "Captain Sir! Thank you and your men for getting me out of my room so quickly. However I was wondering if I could have access to a phone?"


He moved me closer to the nurse's station, they handed me a phone and I called the number on the card I was given…


When I finished the Captain remarked, "Sgt. Blaine, that was a remarkable gift that you gave your doctor."


I smiled, "Well hell, he deserves it. He put his life and the life of his family on the line for me."


Yeah, I had called President Putin and asked if he could arrange for Dr. Voskoboynikov and his family to have a vacation in America at my expense. Hell, it was the least I could do and I figured there weren't many Chechens in America.


I questioned, "Sir! I was wondering how Jack is doing on finding the Major."


What he told me next worried the hell out of me…


Flashback – Jack and Colonel Maggie – Under fire


Damn, was that a sight for sore eyes! A fucking BTR-802 rolled down the street toward us firing its smoke grenades to give us cover while both the 14.5mm and the 7.62mm machine guns were shredding the buildings. There's one thing I had to say, it didn't seem like they were concerned about collateral damage.


2 BTR-80 An 8x8 Russian armored personnel carrier. Armed with 6 - 81mm smoke grenade launchers and one each of a 14.5mm and 7.62mm machine gun.


It stopped, the doors opened and we hauled ass inside!


We barely got inside the BTR-80 when a lieutenant got in our faces and yelled, "What do you think you are doing? You did not have permission to leave the hospital."


I stood up, pointed to my rank and declared, "Excuse the hell out of me boy! Just who do you think you are that justifies talking to a Colonel like that? Now we appreciate you showing up when you did but if there's any ass chewing to be done around here, I'm going to do it."


I turned, winked at Jack and yelled, "Sgt. Reynolds, what the hell were you thinking leaving the hospital the way you did in your service uniform? Didn't you realize that you would make a hell of a target?"


I could tell Maggie was saving face so I played along, "Sorry Ma'am. But I thought the risk was worth the reward."


She yelled, "Sgt. since when did we tell you that you could think? If you ever pull a hair brained stunt like that again, I'll bust your ass all the way to PFC. Now tell this lieutenant where we are headed."


Yuri gave him directions to the internet café and the lieutenant complained, "But my orders were to bring you back to the hospital."


Maggie got in his face and said in Russian (Yuri translated for me), "Lieutenant what rank was the officer who gave you those orders?"


He sheepishly replied, "My Captain, Ma'am."


She continued, "That's what I thought! Since I outrank him; take us to the internet café."


I decided sometimes officers can do the right thing…


Flashback – Ben – In the hospital


When the Captain told me Jack and Colonel Maggie were pinned down it pissed me off and I demanded, "Help me into a wheelchair, I need to go and help them."


He laughed and argued, "Dr. Voskoboynikov has left orders that if you try to leave your bed we are to put you in restraints."


I was pissed and yelled, "Well someone has to do something for them!"


He answered, "Do not worry. I have a BTR-80 headed toward them. We will have them back here soon."


I swore, "You sure as hell could have told me that in the first place!"


He glared at me and reminded of our respective ranks, "Sgt., is this the way you address your American officers?"


I apologized, "Sorry Sir! You are right."


Another soldier came up and motioned to the Captain. They then moved far enough away that I couldn't hear them. The Captain came back and asked, "Do you know a nurse named Tatiana?"


I replied, "Yes Sir I do. She is sort of my girlfriend."


He explained, "The package was addressed to her and once we determined it was not a bomb it was opened and the person who opened it was covered with a large amount of putrid dog feces."


I gave him a strange look and questioned, "How did that happen? I thought you checked to make sure it wasn't a bomb! And who sends someone a dog shit bomb? Is this some sort of strange Chechen message I don't know about?"


He replied, "The spraying mechanism was balloon based so it did not appear on the x-ray equipment. However it totally coated the bomb technician who opened it. This is the first occurrence we have had of something like this being sent to an individual. We are still investigating how it got into your room and who sent it."


I replied, "This sounds like some sort of evil and nasty prank. I am just thankful that he opened the package and not Tatiana."


The Captain suggested, "It might be nice if you gave the bomb technician several bottles of vodka. Now let's get you to your new room."


I questioned, "New room?"


He laughed, "Yes, your old room is covered in 'dog shit' as you like to call it, plus we have decided you are to have a new room that only we know about."


They wheel me to my new room, I made sure to get the bomb technician's name so I could send him the vodka later.


I leaned back on my bed and wondered what the hell Jack was doing and if he was okay. And why did Masha and Tatiana run away from the Spetsnaz guard and what the hell were those two doing?


I was bored, turned on the television and was shocked at what I saw…


Flashback – Safia, Mira and Ira– in Israel


I was shocked after finding out we were driving around in a car bomb and complained, "What are we going to do about my sister?"


Mira replied, "Safia we keep our promises. The explosive device in the boot of the vehicle provides us with a unique opportunity to accomplish multiple goals."


Ira added, "We must take a slight detour…"


Mira finished, "…On the way to acquire your sister."


I looked at them and questioned, "Mira, do you drive any better than your sister?"


Mira shook her head, "I am sorry Safia, but my operation of four wheeled motor vehicles is inferior to that of my sister."


I further questioned, "Just how safe is the bomb in the trunk?"


Ira stated, "It is really quite rudimentary and extremely safe."


I shook my head and stated, "Then I had better drive this car if we expect to safely arrive wherever we are going."


They smiled, Ira explained to me their plans and I demanded, "Are you two crazy?"


Mira replied, "No. However, if you wish to recover your sister then we must do this first."


I reluctantly climbed behind the driver's seat and drove toward what I was sure would be our death. I unfortunately stated, "We should probably kiss our asses goodbye."


Ira questioned…


Flashback – Masha and Tatiana – Secret location


Tatiana had changed into her street disguise now it was my turn. I quickly dressed as a старая бабушка (old grandmother) because Tatiana was my granddaughter. I was almost done, I looked at my engagement ring and told Tatiana, "I promised Jack I would never take this off, but this ruins my disguise."


She smiled, went to her purse, pulled out a roll of adhesive tape and some gauze. She remarked as she completed my disguise, "Masha you are such a lucky woman and this is a very large and beautiful ring. Jack must have paid a small fortune for it."


I smiled at her and replied, "I would have been happier with one that was smaller but I think he wanted everyone to see that I was spoken for." Then I grinned and added, "And what about you? Do you see a ring from Ben in your future?"


Masha asked me a very hard question: Would I want to marry Ben? Since I did not know the answer, I deflected the question with a giggle, "Well, he has not asked me yet and we do not have much of a relationship."


Masha chided, "Tatiana, I know you and you do not sleep with a man unless you love them."


Yes it was true, I did love Ben! However I was also right because we didn't really have any more of a relationship than nurse and patient. So I slipped past the question, "Masha, I do not even know how long Ben will stay here. He could be transferred back to America at any time."


I was complete and thankfully Masha ordered, "Come my granddaughter it is time to see if we can determine the Major's location."


I was thankful to leave our room with our interrogation yet to be finished…


Flashback – Jack and Colonel Maggie – At the internet café


Maggie put the fear of God (or female Marine officers) in the lieutenant. He even tossed us some Russian infantry3 uniforms and said, "It will be safer if you change out of your Marine costumes."


3 It's common for the Spetsnaz to dress as and infiltrate other Russian military units for fact finding missions.


I couldn't let that nasty comment about the service uniforms slide so I said, "At least we have a dress uniform. Most of the time the Spetsnaz have to steal dress uniforms from the fucking road police4."


4 Russian Road Police – ДПС – Probably the most corrupt government agency in Russia. They constantly stop drivers and expect bribes for you to be released. It aggravates the hell out of them if you have all your paperwork in order.


Is Jack fucking crazy? Does he know what a hell of an insult he just delivered to the lieutenant? I get ready to let Jack have it then the lieutenant laughed, "Sgt. Reynolds, lucky for you, tales of your sense of humor have preceded you otherwise I would have been insulted." He looked at me and continued, "Colonel, should I turn away while you change."


I laughed and answered in Russian, "Hell lieutenant, if you haven't seen a woman in her underwear by now then you must be a голубои."


What the fuck! I do know that Russian word, Maggie just called the lieutenant gay? We're going to be lucky that he doesn't throw our asses our on the street.


I'm shocked when the lieutenant laughed, watched Maggie change and commented, "I see that many Americans share Sgt. Reynolds humor." Then he zinged her, "But for an old woman I do admire your condition."


I watched Maggie get angry, then she looked and saw he was smiling and she said, "That was a good one lieutenant. I may be old but I've worn out younger men than you in less than a night."


The crew of the BTR-80 laughed their asses off, then the driver announces, "We are here."


The doors open, we bail out and what the fuck???


Flashback – Ben – In the hospital


I was damn pissed as my Spetsnaz entourage hauled me to my new room - someone had tried to prank my Tatiana. I couldn't imagine her covered in dog shit! If that had happened I would have tracked the fucker that did it down and killed their ass – twice!


I asked the Captain, "Is my wallet here?"


He answered, "Of course, all your personal belongings are here."


I pleaded, "Please bring me my wallet."


He bought me my wallet, I opened it, pulled out two one-hundred dollar bills, handed them to him and requested, "Please use one of these to buy the bomb technician some vodka?"


He questioned, "And the second one?"

I smiled and explained, "Let's call it a carrying charge."


He questioned, "Perhaps you would like a bottle too?"


I think for a moment, know how pissed off it will make Tatiana and reply, "Sure that would be great."


He left with a smile on his face and I got back to watching the news. Damn, Russia is being fucked over by these Chechen bastards. I needed to do something, anything, but in the back of my mind I kept wondering who the hell kept fucking with Tatiana.


My thoughts were disrupted when one of the Spetsnaz guards asked, "Sgt. Blaine, would you like me to get a bottle of vodka for you immediately?"


I looked at the damn PCA pump in my arm, knew that it was probably giving some shit like morphine and said, "Hell yes I would. In fact I would like a couple bottles."


I gave him another hundred and he rushed out to buy the vodka…


Flashback – Safia, Mira and Ira– in Israel


I unfortunately muttered, "We should probably kiss our asses goodbye." Then I proceeded to drive the vehicle to our destination.


Ira questioned, "Safia, we are very flexible. However that would be impossible even for us."


Mira introduced her input to the conversation, "Irinka, I believe this is one of those sayings like 'you bet your ass.'"


Ira questioned, "So then it is yet another metaphor?"


I yelled, "Hell yes it's damn fucking metaphor! Now please shut your damn fucking pie holes so I can drive!"


I realized my mistake when Mira asked, "Safia, what is a fucking pie hole,"


Then Ira speculated, "Mirinka, I think it is a hole where you put 'fucking pie.'"


Mira continued, "No Irinka, I think fucking is an adjective or is it an adverb. I do believe you put pie in the pie hole and fucking is an expression of anger."


I stopped the car, turned, glared at them and threatened, "If you say one more word I will leave this car."


Mira looked at Ira, Ira looked at Mira and I saw a quick exchange of hand signals. At least they were quiet for once…


I signaled Mira, "I do believe Safia is extremely upset."


Mira replied, "Yes, she seems to be slightly unbalanced. At first she wanted to discuss ass euphemisms but now she hates them."


Ira added, "Not just ass euphemisms, but now pie hole euphemisms."


I questioned, "Ira being with Safia has been somewhat beneficial as she has given us many new uses of typical words."


Ira verbally answered, "Yes but her female traits almost make her behavior unbearable."


I giggled and replied, "But you are a female..."


Ira grimaced in retort, "Don't remind me."


I giggled and Safia glared at both of us…