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Chapter 101

Home Chapter 101

Copyright 2012 - 2013 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia


Present – Jens – In the tunnels


It's a good thing Mabel is a fast learner because we sure need the extra firepower! And Todd is kicking ass - in fact, I think this is the first time I've ever seen him use a rifle and he's impressive! No, it's more than that… It's like he's a shooting machine!


Mabel yells, "I love this little rifle! I thought it would hurt my shoulder."


I yell back, "That's the nice thing about these, they don't kick but they also don't stop tangos as well as bigger rifles!"


She remarks, "I just put the little red dot on the target and fire. I think that you could teach a monkey how to do that."


I didn't want to tell her, but she was probably right.


Then something else really bad happens…


Present – Todd – In the tunnels


There is a time for everything and while I prefer my bow, when the arrows are gone, (even though I carry more than most people, once they are out I cannot resupply) it's time for an alternate. I take one of the M-4s that Mabel brings back, SPORT it and begin firing double-taps. Head and heart, head and heart, head and heart – 15 double-taps later, I drop the mag and slap home a new one.


There's enough dead right now that they have created a slight barrier which is good, but then something worse happens and a large group pushes through the dead body barrier. I flip the M4 to auto and start firing bursts…


Present – Glen – At the cabin


We start running down the hill toward the cabin and I order, "Linus, you and half the men take the workshop."


He orders, "Form on me and try to keep up."


The snipers chase all the bastards into the cabin so when we get closer to the cabin they start firing out of what use to be the windows. The snipers figure that out and start giving them the shit they fucking deserve! They bastards change tactics and stay behind cover but stick their rifles through the windows and spray randomly.


I glance over and see a soldier with a M-32MGL.1 I like the hell out of it and question, "Do have CS2 rounds for that?"


1 M-32MGL – A revolver style six shot 40mm grenade launcher which replaces the M203.


2 CS – Tear Gas


He responds, "Right now I have HE3 rounds loaded but I can fix that."


3 HE – High Explosive



I order, "Well I don't want to blow the hell out of my daughter's cabin so gas the crap out of them." Damn is he fucking good! He doesn't even slow up, switches loads on the M-32 and begins pumping tear gas rounds through the missing windows.


The gas has the effect we want as some of the bastards start boiling out the missing front door. I don't even have to issue any order because we're so pissed and there's so damn many of us the bastards are shot to pieces before they even fall to the ground.


We're almost to the doorway. I watch as my Marines pie the door in record time then Hammer flies through the door swinging his Claymore and yelling, "It's Hammer time."


We storm in right behind him but by the time we get in the cabin, there's not much left for us to do other than clear the rooms.


Then a Marine runs in and gives me a bad report, "Sir they are having a hell of a time at the workshop."


I look at my men and order, "Half form a perimeter around the cabin, the other half head to the workshop to provide help."


Present – Linus – At the workshop


Glen does a hell of a job containing the bastards at the cabin so when we fly past it we take very little fire. However things change as we get closer to the workshop where we run into some serious fire power.


Maria says, "Damn, these fuckers are serious!"


I answer, "I don't know how many of the bastards are in the workshop, but they have the high ground and we don't have much in the way of cover."


Then we see something that will more than even the odds! Now who the hell brought one of those along???


Present – Jack – In the tunnels


How many of these fuckers do they have in the workshop? It seems endless and our ammo is starting to run low. I look at Liz and get ready to order her to go get some more mags when Zarika runs up pushing a little cart. The cart has a duffle bag full of rifles and two duffle bags full of mags. I greet her, "Zarika that is perfect timing!"


She immediately asks, "Where's Yasmeen?"


I hate to tell her but she deserves the truth. I respond, "She's been wounded. She's behind the table with my wife and son."


I watch in amazement as Zarika becomes some sort of maniac killing machine, then I realize she has the perfect weapon for us right now.


Then I open the weapon duffle bag, switch rifles and yell, "It's time to rock and roll!"


Present – Zarika – In the tunnels


I can not believe that Yasmeen has been wounded! I have failed at my duty of first wife and I need to repair that situation immediately.


I fire like crazy at the evil men with this special rifle that fires very fast and run toward the table. I must help Yasmeen!!!


Present – Masha – In the tunnels


I hear multiple machine guns and increase my worry. If our enemies have brought more firepower then we will be over run. I rise and see Zarika has a squad automatic weapon, is firing at the doorway and running toward me. And my loving husband also has a squad automatic weapon and has it trained on the doorway and is firing in more controlled bursts.


I look and confirm Ivan is doing his job and has plugged his ears with his fingers (like I have instructed him).


Zarika arrives and I caution, "Be careful little one, Yasmeen is right behind the table."


She jumps over the table and demands, "I want to see Yasmeen!"


I order, "Then give me your squad automatic weapon."


I take the SAW and begin to assist my Jack…


Present – Zarika – In the tunnels


I try to move Ivan out of the way but he fights me, "Mama tell me sit here!"


I feel for a pulse but I can not feel one… Yasmeen is dead and I have failed miserably as Ben's first wife.


I begin to wail, then Masha comforts me, "Do not cry little one Yasmeen is not dead."


I counter, "But she has no pulse."


Masha replies, "Yes, I gave her a drug to place her in a coma because I did not have a medkit to further treat her injury."


I state, "I will go find a medkit for you and bring it back."


I jump back over the table and head toward the hallway…


Present – Jack – In the tunnels


What the hell! Zarika is running back toward me, does she have some sort of death wish? I hold down the trigger on the SAW and it keeps her covered until she gets beside me. I stop her and question, "What the hell are you doing?"


She yanks her arm out of my hand and says, "I need to get a medkit for Yasmeen."


I order, "Well while you're at it bring back more ammo for this SAW."


She nods, takes off and I begin firing bursts again. for a short time things get remarkably quiet until! What the fuck is that! God Damn!!!


Present – Alexi, Mira and Ira– At the fertility clinic


The fertility doctor's ID card gives us access to the clinic, we walk inside to find there are a few persons around and Ira reminds the doctor, "If you value your life you will not cause an alarm."


I add, "And if you value your Bentley you would be wise to follow our instructions."


Mira questions, "Alexi, how will you proceed with the investigation."


I state, "We will need to access the security camera videos and also the employee database."


The doctor asks, "Of what use is the employee database."


I inform him, "I plan on acquiring the bank account information of each employee."


Mira remarks, "Yes, that is most wise my brother, 'hunt the trail of money'."


I correct her, "It is 'follow the money trail'. Someone had to fiscally profit from this so called mistake."


The doctor states, "I am not sure I have access to the employee database."


I smile and suggest, "Let us retire to your office and we will discover if you have sufficient privilege…"


I am still gravely bothered that the fetus was Nubian. Something about it haunts the recesses of my cranial carapace. I glance at Irinka and she questions, "Mirinka what troubles you?"


I reply in our special language, "Irinka, the factoid the fetus was Nubian is most troubling."


Irinka's eyes flicker and we simultaneously exclaim, "It was him!"


I swear, "Male offspring of female saluki! I should have not looked this gift equine in the mandibles."


Alexi questions, "My sister's what do you mean?"


Present – Ben – Austin Texas


I'm happy as hell to be leaving all this damn bullshit! That is until I reach the janitor's room in the basement. I open the door… And I can't fucking believe it… There staring me in the face is… Rex the Texas Ranger! He's the one who persuaded me to join the Marines so many damn years ago. Behind him are the janitor, Margarita and the damn little dog.


The janitor shrugs his shoulders and says, "Sorry Pavel, but it looks like you've been caught."


I grin at Rex and say, "How the hell have you been?"


He smiles back and says, "I should have known the damn Austin Avenger was you and I sure as hell wouldn't have wasted so much time trying to find 'him' if you had just told me you were in town."


The janitor looks surprised and asks, "You two know each other?"


Rex replies, "He'll do to ride the river with4."


4 The highest compliment a man could receive in the Old West. This was a tribute from the old trail days when only the fearless dared to swim herds across treacherous rivers. If a life-threatening mishap occurred in the crossing, the help of the nearest cowboy would be the difference between life and death.


I smile and reply, "A Ranger like Rex is about as rare as rocking horse shit."


Rex laughs, "Now that's a new one to add to my repertoire. By the way, is it Pavel now? I sure don't think much of your janitor friend; he's lower than a snake's belly."


I shake my head, glare at the janitor and demand, "What the hell do you mean?"


Rex laughs, "Don't tell me you tied one on last night. Shit, I spent all night looking for you and you went drinking."


I counter, "Hey, I played a little music and I only had two beers."


Rex continues, "Yeah but that was probably in dog beers."


I laugh, "Dog beers, is that like dog years? So tell me about this yellow-bellied janitor?"


He points his thumb over his shoulder in the general direction of the janitor and says, "Well, he's been selling you out to someone. We ain't sure who but we're looking into it for you."


The janitor swears, "You bastard." Then he pulls a knife but he is a bit too slow. My Ka-Bar flies through the air, as Rex ducks and my Ka-Bar nails the bastard janitor in the hand. The janitor is jumping around and swearing up a blue streak until he sees Rex's six shooter is out, aimed at his head while he pledges, "Just twitch one more time to give me a reason to blow your sorry ass away."


The janitor freezes and I taunt, "Damn Rex, you're getting a little slow in your old age."


He explains, "Nah, I was giving him a fighting chance! But now he's going back in the hoosegow where he belongs."


I nod my head towards Margarita and ask, "Has she been selling me out too?"


Rex shakes his head, "Nope, she's just had a run of bad luck like all the Russians they brought over here for this performance."


I could see hope in Margarita's eyes but with what Rex told me about the janitor I knew my time in Austin was coming to a close. I walk over, take her hands and say in Russian, "Margarita, I have more people chasing me than a Russian mobster. While I would love to stay I have to leave."


I watch as her face transforms, she slaps the hell out of me and yells, "Mудак." and storms out of the room.


Rex laughs and comments, "Well I don't know much Russian but 'bastard' seems to sound the same in all languages. It seems you still have a way with the ladies."


I walk over, take my knife out of the bastard janitor's hand, wipe the bloody blade on his shirt and say, "Well I guess I'd better get my ass out of here before whomever this bastard sold me out to shows up."


Rex questions, "You still got some of them mooslim's looking for you?"


I nod my head, "Yeah, they're never going to give up until I kill them or they kill me."


He repeats one of my favorite quotes, "Watch your topknot."


I reply with Jeremiah Johnson's response, "Yep, watch your'n." I grab my gear and hit the road…


Present – Stacy and Samantha – Austin


It takes fucking forever to get to Austin, then when we're finally here we have to get the pregnancy test for Sam along with some high end video gear. Damn! The things I'm doing to keep her happy – but I remember Grandmamma's words about keeping my enemies even closer and bite my tongue.


We stop in a bathroom she pees on the stick and then we wait… It comes back negative, she jumps up and down and says, "Thank God! I don't know what I would have done if I was pregnant." She suddenly crinkles up her face and continues, "Oh Stacy I'm sorry. I know that must have been insensitive."


I say, "That's okay. I wish mine had been the same. Now let's move it."


She questions, "Where are we going?"


I answer with less information than she would like, "We're going to stop by a theater."


She asks, "A theater? What for?"


I answer with a small lie, "Well, it will be a great place for you to do your story about the Mossad."


Bill walks toward me and motions to get my attention. I say, "Samantha give me a minute."


I walk over and he explains, "Well, we just missed Ben."


I exclaim, "What! How in the fuck did that happen?"


He continues, "Well apparently he's friends with the hard as nails Texas Ranger who picked up on the janitor sending information to us."


I question, "Well, is our man still following him?"


He gives me a grim look and says, "Hell no! Ben got a ride from a semi driver, the driver figured out they were being tailed and called in some of his friends and they ran my man off the road."


I ask for more, "Please tell me you have some good information for me."


He smiles and says, "Well we did have some luck since the trucking company that owns the semi is one of yours."


I grin and look forward to victory, "So, we can get GPS off the truck."


He shakes his head, "It seems this driver disabled that but we can get his log sheets and we do know they were headed west."


I order, "Find that driver and bring him to me."


Bill says, "Anything else?"


I reply, "We need to head to an empty theater." I think a moment about asking about the Mossad, but decide not knowing is better…


Stacy is being so good to me, in fact possibly too good. She must have some other motive but I don't know what it is. We drive to an empty theater and I question, "Who's going to be my cameraman?"


Bill says, "Well, I will give it a try."


I take my place in front of the camera, nod to Bill, the red light comes on and I begin, "Good day America Samantha Stevens here reporting for the Truth Network. Please excuse my overly long absence, but don't worry because I have a story that I hope makes you as angry as it makes me…"


I listen to Samantha's report and decide one of the wisest things I've ever done is befriend her. She has a gift for reporting and ripped the Mossad a new one.


When she's finished she comes over to me and Damn! I can't believe the question she asks me…


Present – Jack – In the tunnels


There is this huge boom that damn near deafens us and I yell, "What the fuck was that?"


Masha yells, "It sounded like a cannon being fired."


And she was right - that's exactly what it sounded like! Then there are two more booms.


Present – Jens – In the tunnels


There are three loud as hell booms from the workshop area. I yell, "What the hell was that?"


Todd signs, "It sounded like a cannon."


My only thought is: Hell no, if the fuckers brought a cannon we're in a world of hurt.


I want to head to the workshop door to reinforce them but we begin to hear a bunch of fire from inside the cabin, I yell, "I think Daddy and the Marines are finally here!"


Then I hear a voice I recognize, "You're damn straight we're here my little Princess Boss! Now make sure you don't shoot your father!"


I yell, "Cease fire friendlies incoming!"


Present – Linus – At the workshop


A damn tank rolls toward the garage and Maria questions, "Who in the hell brought that?"


I reply, "I don't know who it was but I'm not looking this gift horse in the mouth."


I watch a bunch more troops show up as one of them yells, "Sir, the General sent us."


I look at the tank and order, "With the tank here, fall back and form a perimeter. The rest of my men fall in behind the tank."


The tank leads us right up to the workshop, it pokes it's damn cannon through one of the windows and starts firing, but they rounds don't sound quite right…


After the third round the door to the workshop flies open and the bastards stumble outside rolling and crawling sans weapons and with their hands clutching their ears! Maria states the obvious, "Damn Linus, look at them! Every one of them is bleeding from the ears. What in the hell did that tank do to them?"


I grin and explain, "Maria, that was brilliant. They didn't have any real rounds for the cannon just blanks. But a blank in that confined a space had to be literally ear shattering."


I order, "Take prisoners and search them for any contraband."


Present – Glen – At the cabin


We kick our way through a huge number of bodies, some even burnt to a crisp and finally see the door to the basement.


I yell, "Jennifer it's me!"


She comes flying out the door (I silently curse when I see her because she looks like hell), she runs to me, gives me a hell of a hug and cries, "Daddy, thank you so much!"


I hold her tight and say, "Don't worry Jennifer I'm here now to help."


She pulls away and asks, "Where did all the Marines come from?"


I answer, "Well, Linus got in touch with a few of them and then the word spread that America's Sweetheart was under attack and it snowballed from there. So, how is my little Princess Boss?"


She glares at me and demands, "Have you been talking to Maria?"


I laugh and answer, "Of course, but I do think the name fits you perfectly…"


Present – Jack – In the tunnels


After the three loud as hell fucking booms, things get really quiet - too quiet and I begin to get concerned. Then I hear, "Jack, it's Linus and a team. We're coming in so don't shoot.


I order, "Come in with your weapons lowered." Yeah, I wasn't sure it wasn't some sort of trick.


I hear Linus offer, "We'll do one better than that." Then he orders, "Everyone leave your weapons outside the tunnel complex."


Linus and Maria walk in and I heave a sigh of relief and state, "You two are a sight for these poor old tired eyes! What the hell were those booms?"


Linus tells me about the tank and I about laugh my ass off until Masha yells, "Jack you can catch up later, we need some help for Yasmeen."


Maria heads towards the table and questions, "What's wrong with Yasmeen…"


Present – Maria – In the tunnels


Masha replies, "Maria, she has a GSW (Gun Shot Wound) to the abdomen."


I jump over the table and question, "Is there a medkit available?"


Masha answers, "Zarika is bringing one."


I add more information, "Well, we have a doctor in this group. Let's get him in here." I yell, "Linus honey, please get that doctor here tell him we have a GSW to the abdomen!"


I check for a pulse but don't find one and Masha states, "Maria do not worry, I gave her a compound to slow her metabolism so she would not suffer excessive blood loss."


I go to move her boy and he declares, "I no move! Mama tell me sit here!"


Masha says, "Ivan please let this lady look at Yasmeen."


Ivan adds, "I tell you she have very bad boo boo!"


I pull back the diaper (which was a great idea), see the wound and notice there isn't much blood loss. I tell Masha that slowing her metabolism was a great idea.


The doctor runs in and asks, "Where the GSW."


I yell, "She's over here."


He jumps the table starts to work on her as Masha explains what she did.


I decide it's time to find my Princess Boss so I ask, "Where's Jens?"


Jack gives me directions, I head down the corridor and marvel at how big this complex is. I get to the other end, walk out into the basement and see Jens talking to her father. She sees me and demands, "What's this Princess Boss bullshit! I thought I kicked your ass once over it; don't tell me I need to kick your ass again!"


Glen laughs and teases, "Jennifer calm down. I think that's probably the most accurate description I've ever heard for you."


She stamps her foot and whines, "Daddy, don't make me kick your ass too!"


He laughs and adds fuel to the fire, "Just remember my Princess Boss, you're never too old for a good spanking…"


I laugh and add some fuel of my own, "Now that I would pay good money to watch…"


Present – Ben – On the road


I hitch a ride out of Austin in a semi and it seems the driver somehow knows I'm their 'trucker's angel'.


I tell the driver, "Thanks for stopping to pick me up. I see you have a car in front of you, is that a lead car?"


He smiles, "You can call me Parsimonious Paul or PP. Hell yes it's a lead car. We learned from the best - you. What you've done for us here in Texas has spread all over America. And once again we're finally safely driving our trucks. You'll never need to worry about getting a ride again, we all know what you look like."


I'm concerned so I reply, "How is it that you all know what I look like?"


He explains, "Don't worry, it's not like we put your picture up in truck stops. But when we're at truck stops we talk to each other and exchange copies of this."


He pulls out his wallet, it's one of the large ones with a chain connected to his pants. He opens it, pulls out a folded sheet of paper and hands it to me. I unfold it and there is a photo copy of a remarkable drawing of me which makes me look like the Orthodox Archangel Michael.5 But instead of a sword I'm holding a M-4 with a scythe sticking out of the barrel and blood dripping from the blade.


5 http://orthodoxwiki.org/Archangel_Michael


There are only a couple things I don't care for so I question, "What the hell am I doing with a halo around my head and fucking wings on my back?"


Paul replies, "Hell you're an angel and don't you recognize the resemblance to another logo?"


I answer, "No, I don't?"


He answers, "Do you remember Stinky Pete? He's the one that drew this of you, and the drawing is modeled after the Sons Of Anarchy logo. But you're not even close to the grim reaper, that's why he added the halo and wings."


I ask, "PP, What the hell are the Sons Of Anarchy?"


He answers, "You sure as hell don't watch much television do you."


I reply, "No, that's wrong, I don't watch any television."


PP continues and tells me all about the TV show then he drops a real bombshell on me…


Present – Thom, Byron and Inga – It's raining hell on the drug lord


It sounds like a fucking war is happening on my roof, then it becomes quiet and I hear, "Thom all your adversaries are dead. We need to depart before more arrive."


I rise up and see Inga standing there with a pistol and Byron waves at me from his roof. Shit! I hate owing anyone anything and now I owe these two a bunch.


I complain, "You didn't have to help, I was doing fine."


Inga says, "Thom do not worry, you do not owe me anything."


Then I get up and we begin to run down the stairs, we reach the first floor and Byron is waiting with a nice as hell van. I question, "Where did we get this?"


He laughs, "This is compliments of the drug lord. The men that went after you left it, I took out the guard and grabbed the keys.


I ask, "I hope you disabled any location transponders."


Byron sasses, "Hell yes I did! I wasn't born yesterday."


I taunt, "You can say that again. You're older than mud."


Inga orders, "Both of you stop the bickering right now and Thom let me check your dressing."


I complain, "Like hell you're looking at my ass again."


She threatens, "Either you willingly let me check the bandages or else."


I smart mouth, "Or else…"


I watched in the rear view as Inga touched Thom on the arm and he went out like a light. I ask her, "Now just what the hell was that?"


Inga begins to check Thom's ass dressing and says, "That's for me to know and for you to never know."


I question, "Okay then where the hell are we going?"


She tells me and suddenly I'm not so sure about her ideas…