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Chapter 41

Home Chapter 41

Copyright 2012 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia


Present – Linus, Matt and Jim – Somewhere in Texas


Hell, we sure didn't expect the reception we got at the truck stop - after all these were Americans. Then we made a huge mistake asking them about Ben. What the fuck is a 'trucker's angel' anyway? We're almost to the door when someone touches off a round then we're in an all-out firefight. Thank God we're professionals and they're not, and thank God Matt and Jim aren't shooting to kill! Yeah, we're giving them something to think about while they're grabbing their asses and firing wildly.


I shoot out the damn big window by the door and yell, "With me!"  We dive through the window, haul ass to the car, jump in and Jim makes like Darrel Waltrip as we fly out of the parking lot and onto the highway.


Matt comes out of his daze and asks, "What the hell just happened?"


I answer, "I sure the fuck don't know! Do you two know what the hell a trucker's angel is?"


Matt replies, "Fuck if I know."


Jim answers, "I'm not sure, but perhaps it's like a guardian angel."


I say, "I think I'd better report this to Jens." And then I make the call…


Present – Jens – At the cabin


I just get to my room, take off my clothes and I'm almost in the shower when my phone rings. I look at it and see it's Linus. I pick it up and answer, "Linus this had better be good because I was just going to bed."


I can sense the stress in his voice when he starts, "Jens we have a fucking issue and we need to talk."


I question, "Do we need the whole team?"


He states, "Yeah Jens we do, because we just had a fucking shoot-out in a truck stop and the more minds and ears on this the better."


I tell him, "Okay give me five minutes and we'll call you right back."


I roust Liz, Bernie, Jack and Maria (the rest I didn't think are needed). Then we head to the library and call Linus…


Present – Linus, Matt and Jim – Somewhere in Texas


Jens calls me back and asks, "Okay Linus what's going on?"


Linus replies, "Shit Jens we just had a shootout in a truck stop and barely escaped with our lives."


Jack interrupts, "A shootout at a truck stop? I thought you guys were supposed to be undercover."


I shush Jack and say, "Okay Linus give us the details."


He tells us everything and when he gets to the part about Ben being a trucker's angel he pauses and says, "I sure as hell don't know what a trucker's angel is."


Maria is typing like crazy on her computer and then she announces, "Linus, who has forgotten to call me, it looks like a trucker's angel is like a guardian angel for truckers."


Linus replies, "Sorry honey we've been real busy."


I nip this in the bud and say, "Listen you two can talk when we're done, first we need to figure out what we're going to do."


Suddenly we hear a hell of a noise, Matt and Jim start yelling and finally Linus yells, "Son of a bitch, what are those crazy…"


Then the phone goes dead.


I question, "Linus are you there?" I try calling back but don't get an answer.


Maria looks at me and says, "Jens I sure hope Linus is okay."


I try calling back again but still don't get an answer.


Liz offers, "Let me call Sam and see if they can find out what's going on."


Present – Samantha – Waiting for the new news van


I'm going to interview the hell out of this Stacy bitch, and there's no way she's taking over the interview this time. My lovely husband Frank grabs the camera and states, "Sam we can't do the interview."


I look at him and question, "Why not?"


He replies, "Stacy took the tape out of the camera and with the news van missing we don't have any more tapes."


I look at Stacy. She puts her hands on her waist and defiantly declares, "There's no way in hell you're getting that tape! Especially not after I heard you say what you were going to do with it. I'm not having my butt plastered all over the internet."


I glare at her, get ready to give her hell when my phone rings. I see it's Liz, so this time I put it on speaker and answer it correctly.


Present – Liz – At the cabin


I call Sam, put the phone on speaker and she answers, "My supreme and great looking boss how might I serve you?"


I chuckle and answer, "Sam did the new news van get there yet?"


Sam replies, "Not yet Liz. We were just going to interview Stacy but we don't have a tape in the camera."


This sounds strange so I question her, "What happened to the tape?"


She pauses then I hear Stacy yell, "I took the damn tape because your pervert news men took a video of me without my pants on while I kicked Samantha's boney ass."


Jens gets fired up and yells back, "You fat cow! If I was there I would have kicked your ass so hard you'd be smiling vertically."


We hear Stacy laugh while she taunts, "Well, well, well. Is that Jennifer Donaldson or 'princess pixy stick'? Too bad you didn't have a good enough body to keep your man because he sure loved mine. He couldn't keep his hand off of me, especially my breasts. But then what size are yours princess pixy stick? Twenty-four A's? I've seen boys with bigger tits than yours…"


Jens lunges at the phone, "No one calls me a princess let alone a pixy stick and gets away with it, I'm going to find you and kill your ass."


Stacy laughs and replies, "As Ben loved to say, 'I'm your huckleberry'."


Jens grabs the phone and yells, "Oh yeah I'll show you huckleberry." She gets ready to throw the phone, I grab it out of her hands and order, "Jack, get over here and take care of Jens."


Then I take the phone off speaker and order, "Sam if you put your phone on speaker that was a mistake. Listen I need to calm Jens down then we need to talk."


Present – Samantha – Waiting for the new news van


Liz hangs up the phone, I look at Stacy and she's grinning like the cat that ate the canary so I ask, "Did Ben really make love to you, because I thought Guy was the one that got you pregnant."


She smiles and says, "Sam since this isn't an interview, come with me and let me tell you all about what a great lover Ben was…"


Present – Stacy – Waiting for the new news van


Yes that was better than I even dreamed of: I got to put that Jennifer bitch in her place and now I get to feed this Samantha bitch a bunch of BS about Ben and me. And I'm certain it will get back to her fucking bosses…


Present – Samantha – Waiting for the new news van


Wow! I am hot as hell and wish I could find a private place to share with my husband. If even half of what Stacy told me about Ben is true, then he's a hell-of-a-lover! The replacement news van pulls up just as my phone rings. It's Liz again and this time I wisely choose to keep it off the speaker phone. I watch as Stacy gets busy with her horses and the trailer.


I move far away from her and apologize, "Sorry about that Liz I didn't know there would be such a fight."


Liz answers, "That's okay Sam, you didn't know. But we need to keep those two apart."


I reply, "Yeah especially after Stacy told me about what really happened between her and Ben. Liz I've read some sexy as hell books, but…"


Liz cuts me off, "Sam, I highly doubt what Stacy told you was true. She's just trying to get Jens worked up so I sure as hell don't want you talking about it. Now there's going to be a change in plans. We were on the phone with Linus and they had a big shootout at a truck stop. While they were driving away, something happened and their phone went dead. Maria got busy, found the sheriff's department reports on the shootout and the GPS location of Linus's phone. She will send you the information. You guys need to get down there as quickly as you can and see what's going on."


I reply, "Stacy isn't going to like this because she's doing everything she can to keep us from finding Ben."


Liz says, "If she doesn't like it tell her the deal's off and she can ride those damn horses of hers back to civilization. One more thing and this is very important - don't tell the trucker's you're looking for Ben or something called a 'trucker's angel.' That's what got Linus' team in trouble. Now move your ass and give us a call when you find out what's happened to Linus."


The email comes in from Maria, I walk over to Frank and describe the change in plans. He looks at me and questions, "When are you telling Stacy?"


I laugh, "I'm not telling her shit unless she asks."


Frank relays the message, we load up in the new van, do a U turn and Stacy complains, "Hey where the hell are we going?"


I grin and explain, "There's been a change in plans. Something has happened to one of our teams and we were told to go find out what happened."


Stacy orders, "Stop this van and let me out."


It's my turn to be a pain in the ass, so I laugh, "We aren't stopping until we get to the last known location of our team - we will be glad to let you out there. So sit the hell down and shut the hell up."


She starts to get up, I nod my head and Emanuel grabs her, ties her hands behind her back and sits her ass back down. She screams, "This is kidnapping."


My lovely husband says, "And it's your word against all of ours. So shut the hell up like my wife said or we will gag you…"


I taunt, "How about an interview now?"


She glares at me and threatens, "I will make you pay…"


She never gets to finish because Emanuel gags her.


I grin. It's nice being in control…


Present – Ira, Mira and Alexi – At the cabin


I reiterate, "Is tomorrow's plan completely comprehended?"


Mira asserts, "Certainly my sister Ira, I comprehend my assignment."


Alexi contributes, "Yes my sister, I know my duty."


I continue, "Has all of our equipment been inspected?"


Alexi replies, "I examined all of it."


Mira clarifies, "And I also doubled the check."


Alexi questions, "My sisters, shouldn't we alert Ms. Donaldson and the others of our course of action?"


Mira tutors, "Alexi, it is not our operandi of modus to inform others of information which we have received…"


I continue, "…because we then must reveal our confidential sources."


I order, "I will stand first of watch while you two attempt sleep because the dark of O-Thirty arrives early."


They attempt sleep but sleep did not encroach for many hours…


Present – TA (Trucker's Angel - Ben) – Trip from Dallas to Austin – first roadblock


I'm riding with Reckless Raymond. He wants to gab up a storm but I'm more interested to see if he has any intel on the roadblocks. I ask, "Reckless Raymond, I was wondering if you had any idea how the roadblocks work. I guess what I don't understand is how they can get you guys to stop these big-assed trucks with only their pickup trucks. It seems to me you all could plow right through them and keep on going."


He gets real serious and explains, "Well TA, if we was only dealin' with the pickups we could. But the bastards have gotten smart. Most of them have those spike strips like the smokies (state patrol) use. Some don't give a fuck about the truck and shoot the hell out of the engine until it stops, and there are even some bastards that are using them rocket grenades."


I silently curse myself for not checking the back of those pickup trucks when I encountered the roadblock with Stinky Pete. I really needed to see what they had in the back.


Reckless Raymond continues, "Shit! They kill us drivers if the catch us so most of the time we try to stop, bail out of the truck and hightail it into the woods."  


I notice the red glare from a couple cigarettes as we pass and order, "Reckless Raymond, we're going to hit a roadblock soon, probably around the next big corner. I want you to stop halfway through the corner and let me out."


He questions, "Should I tell the others?"


He's slowing as I reply, "Hell no! They have CB radios too and will know we're on to them. What you all need to do is keep watch behind you because we just passed part of a roadblock crew."


We're going slow enough now so I gear up, bail out of the cab and take off running up the side of the road. I get closer and can't believe what the hell I see! Those fucking bastards are going to die!!!


They have another truck stopped and are in the process of cleaning it out. But the worst thing is it looks like they just caught a car too and it was full of women! I can't believe it! One of the bastards breaks the side glass of the car and starts to drag a woman out!


I drop to prone, slip the suppressor on the Lapua, set the bipod legs, range the target, dial in the elevation and commence firing. The first shot still alerts everyone, but with the suppressor they can't determine my location or direction. My first shot takes out the bastard dragging the woman out of the car - his head explodes when the 300 grains of diplomacy connects! Then I concentrate on the other bastards around the car.


I laugh because the fuckers have no idea where I am and begin firing wildly in all directions, making a hell of a noise and causing no damage. The women jump out of the car, run toward the ditch and I lay down a hell of a cover fire for them using the FYTF1 bolt manipulation technique we used in the Sandbox2. I go through four-five round magazines in a little over a minute (counting switching mags) while making sure the women get to cover.


1 The FYTF (fuck you trigger-finger) bolt manipulation technique was used all the time in the sandbox where Marines had to fire our bolt action rifles rapidly. You grip the bolt knob tightly with your thumb and index finger and use your second finger (fuck you finger) to actuate the trigger. No part of your trigger hand ever touches the rifle. You can fire a bolt action rifle very quickly but give up some accuracy.


2 Slang for Iraq or Afghanistan


Finally they get smart and kill the lights so now it's time for some real fun… I put the Lapua back into the rifle scabbard in my Eberlestock3 Dragonfly pack, slip the M4 out of the side scabbard and begin to crawl toward the roadblock…


3 Eberlestock Tactical packs – the best tactical packs.  See them at http://www.eberlestock.com/Tactical%20Master.htm


I hear some noise off to my right side so I crawl closer and hear a female voice say, "Shhh I think I hear something."


I whisper, "If you're the women from the car keep your damn voices down."


Of course they are the women and don't listen. One says, "Hey if you're the one that saved us then we all owe you."


I ignore their stupid comment and whisper an order, "Shut the fuck up unless you want the bastards to find you!"


I continue crawling closer to the roadblock fuckers. They have gotten smart and are hunkered down behind their vehicles; this is going to make it hell to get them out. Then I hear a hell of a lot of growling, yelling and screaming and wonder what the fuck is going as they leave their shelter and fly toward me like their asses are on fire. From all the noise I figure one of the damn zoo animals must be attacking them, but not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth I begin firing my M4.


Things get quiet for about a minute - almost too quiet. Then I hear some firing from behind me and figure the 'back door' of the road block came up to see what's happening and the truckers opened fire on them.


I jump up and head back toward the trucks to see if they need any help. I get there and the truckers are all laughing up a storm. One of them says, "Did you see the way they lit out of here, it was like their asses were on fire."


Reckless Raymond sees me and says, "Hey TA, it sounded like you had a hell of a time up there. I wish we could have helped."


I question, "So the back door showed up."


He laughs, "Yeah and left just as fast once we started firing at them."


I am just winding down when I hear the women start to scream! I take off and yell, "Shit one of those bastard's must be going after the women. You guys did a great job but keep your eyes open."


I get close and damn I can't believe it as I'm tackled and go down hard.


The ladies scream, "Look the bear is killing him."


I laugh and yell, "He's not killing me this is my good friend Wojtek!" Then I realize all the growling I heard was Wojtek. I finally wrestle Wojtek off me, stand up, see the women up in a tree and laugh, "You all can come down he doesn't bite very hard."


As they start coming down, I notice Reckless Raymond's truck is approaching. He stops, gets out and says, "TA, I came up to see if'n ya needed any help. Is that a bear I see you with?"


I laugh, "Hell yes this is my good friend Wojtek, he helped me fight the bad guys that set up the roadblock."


Reckless Raymond says, "Shit I know him. Wait a minute, I have something for him."


The ladies are out of the tree and are still pretty gun shy of Wojtek. I say, "You can pet him, he doesn't mind."


One of the ladies says, "Well we hate to tell you this but he smells real bad."


One of them adds, "And now so do you."


I ignore them as Reckless Raymond runs up with a six pack of Lonestar in his hands. Wojtek sees it and makes a beeline for Reckless Raymond. RR sets the six pack on the ground, Wojtek grabs one, bites the top off and begins drinking it.


I look around and get a hell of an idea and suggest, "You know we have enough people and vehicles now we can have a decoy car in front of our convoy. We'll take the best of the roadblock trucks, and if one of these women can drive worth a shit, then we will go first."


The lady who told me I smelled sasses, "I can drive better than most men, but if you're ridin' with me we're keeping the windows rolled down and we're not taking the bear."


I look over and see Wojtek is downing his forth beer and say, "That's okay, he's not a zoo bear anymore. Plus he gets rowdy when he gets more than one beer."


One of the ladies interrupts, "Just like a man!"


They all giggle but I ignore the comment and add, "Yeah he's a wild bear and needs to stay in the woods. Well, let's get the hell out of here."


The other trucks come up, I clean up the bodies making sure the women stay back, find the best looking truck, look around and only see the one lady. I motion to her, she comes up and I ask, "Where are your friends?"


She answers, "They are in the trucks with the drivers. I was told your handle is TA for Trucker's Angel. My name is Rita and my handle is Speed Freak."


I doubtfully question the origin of her handle because of her size, "I hope that's not because you use drugs?"


She laughs, "Hell no! It's because of the way I drive."


We jump in the pickup, she looks at me and declares, "I wasn't kidding - you need to roll down that window." Then she floors it and smokes the tires.


Present – TA (Trucker's Angel - Ben) – Trip from Dallas to Austin the next morning outskirts of Austin


Damn! What a hell of a time getting from Dallas to Austin! I couldn't believe that there were four fucking road blocks in a couple hundred miles. It was a stroke of genius on my part having a spotter car. It was even better that Speed Freak was driving since she was a hell of a driver and seemed to intuitively know what I wanted her to do. We kicked some serious ass and took names! There were rumors there was a fifth roadblock that heard about us and just took off!


We pull into a truck stop leading the convoy which by now had grown from four trucks to ten trucks. The semis blow their horns, the other truckers boil out of the truck stop and are clapping, cheering and waving. Speed Freak looks at me and says, "Looks like you're a hero TA."


I look at her and order, "Get me the hell out of here!"


She grins, "Your wish is my command." She punches the pickup and lays rubber all the way out of the parking lot.


She questions, "Where do you want to go?"


I'm looking at Austin - God it's been forever since I've been here! Shit! I was just out of high school touring with the band, got in the bar fight and got railroaded into the Marines. Austin isn't the Austin I remember. It's doesn't have that shine it used to have. But then it and all of Texas and the Southern states, especially Southwestern states have gone through hell from the repeated attacks across the porous border. And the inept government hasn't done anything to improve the border; they sit in Washington and issue meaningless threats that are ignored… Yeah we have the weapons to end this war but…


I'm snapped out of my thoughts when Rita asks again, "Where would you like to go."


A sign catches my eye so I point and say, "Believe it or not, I want to go there."


She looks at me and questions, "Are you sure you want to go there?"


I nod my head, "Yeah that's exactly where I want to go."


She giggles, "I never took you for being 'one of them'. But then you haven't hit on me once during this trip so I guess now I know why."


I give her a dirty look and declare, "Fuck you! I'm not gay and never will be. And to be truthful you're a nice enough woman but you're not my type. I like my women not quite so Rubenesque. So drive me there and then get the hell out of my life."


I know I insulted her, but dammit I don't let anyone call me gay! At least it shut her the hell up - which is an almost impossible thing to do to a woman. We arrive at the place, I grab my gear, jump out of the pickup, she floors it and smokes the tires as she flies up the street.


I look around, walk up to the door, open it, walk into the theater and take a seat in the back…


Present – Byron, Thom and Inga – on a chartered jet headed towards Venezuela the next day


I wake up and look around for Thom but I don't see him. All I see is Inga sleeping under a blanket in the back of the plane. I need to take care of my morning needs so I walk to the head and find it's locked. I rattle the knob and hear Thom yell, "Go the hell away and leave me alone!"


I chuckle. Thom was so pissed at Inga that he slept in the head last night. I knock again and say, "Listen I need to get in there so open up or I'm going to break down the damn door."


Thom opens the door, peeks out and whispers, "Where is she?"


I say, "She's sleeping like a baby in the seats."


He opens the door the whole way and I have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing - he looks like 100 miles of bad road. I question, "Are you going to move?"


He moves out of the way and finally I get to start my morning needs…


Now that is something! Imagine Thom not sleeping with a woman… Is he sick?