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Chapter 53

Home Chapter 53

Copyright 2012 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia

 

Present – Jens – Aftermath, firefight at the cabin

 

I head toward the girls to take care of Zarika, look at my watch and notice this shit has wasted  so much time the whole damn day is almost shot.

 

Jack realizes what I'm thinking and agrees, "Yeah, you lose track of time when you're fighting a big battle."

 

I'm worried as hell that Zarika will have bled out by now so when I get over there I see Yasmeen is doing a hell of a job putting pressure on her arm. The bandage is bloody as hell but I'm relieved when I notice Zarika's chest moving.

 

Yasmeen looks at me and says, "Jennifer Lady, Zarika need big help, she need doctor."

 

I get ready to answer when I hear a noise behind me. Don't tell me the fuckers are back! I turn and prepare to fire when…

 

Present – Masha – Aftermath firefight at the cabin

 

I run up to Jack and Ms. Donaldson. Ms. Donaldson turns, practically fires at me when Jack grabs Ms. Donaldson's gun and yells, "Jennifer, it's my wife and son."

 

She lowers her weapon, I hand Vanya to Jack and give instructions, "Jack please take care of your son. I need to render aid to Zarika."

 

I kneel beside the wounded Zarika and order, "Yasmeen, move and let me inspect her injury."

 

She moves, I slowly loosen the blood soaked bandage and blood spurts out. I look at Ms. Donaldson and state, "Ms. Donaldson I have called emergency services and they are sending a helicopter to transport Zarika to the hospital. However, with the injury to her artery, time is of the essence or she will expire or at the least lose her arm."

 

Yasmeen begins wailing, I look at Jack and order, "Jack please remove Yasmeen so I can concentrate on saving Zarika."

 

Yasmeen complains, "No, I will not leave my Zarika! It is my duty as Ben's second wife to take her care."

 

I demand, "Then Yasmeen, you must be quiet so I can concentrate."

 

I open up my field surgery kit, initiate an IV in Zarika's uninjured arm and Ms. Donaldson queries, "Masha, can I help?"

 

I respond, "Yes you can be my surgery assistant." I reach in the bag, pull out a bottle, hand it to Ms. Donaldson and command, "Use this to sterilize your hands."

 

She laughs, "I should have known, it's vodka."

 

She takes off the cap, takes a drink then sterilizes her hands. I finish the IV, look at Yasmeen and order, "Yasmeen, stand up and hold this bag."

 

I look at Jack and order, "Jack my love, we need to move Zarika as carefully as possible into the house and place her on the kitchen table. Yasmeen you will need to hold the solution bag higher than Zarika's arm and you also need to take Ivan's hand and bring him with us."

 

Jack carefully picks up Zarika, Yasmeen follows her orders and Ms. Donaldson says…

 

Present – Jens – Aftermath firefight at the cabin

 

Wow! Masha is a woman of many talents. If I understand her correctly she's going to fucking operate on Zarika! That's something no fricken soccer mom would ever do!

 

As I look over, Sharik runs up and looks like he's been through hell. I question him, "Well, where the fuck have you been?"

 

He lays on the ground and puts his paws over his head like he's sorry. I see a flash of red behind him in the bushes and realize he's been chasing Anastasia the fox again and missed out on all the fun.

 

We head toward the house and I scold him, "You know better than to chase Anastasia. And while you were gone we got into a big battle."

 

He jumps up, growls a little, with Jack jostling Zarika, she wakes, sees him and giggles. Then he becomes the class clown: He raises up on his hind legs and does doggie pirouettes. Zarika continues to giggle as we enter the house.

 

Mabel takes one look at her and says, "Land sakes what happened to the child! Quick bring her to the table and let me take care of her."

 

Masha heads her off at the pass and says, "Mabel your help would be appreciated but unless you are a better surgeon than myself you would be a hindrance."

 

Mabel exclaims, "Don't tell me you're going to operate on her? Here in the house and on my table?"

 

I pull Mabel to the side and whisper, "Mabel, I'm not exactly sure what training Masha has had but I do know she's sure as hell not a soccer mom and her training has been extensive. If she doesn't do something then Zarika will either lose her arm or die. So the best thing you can do is make sure that you do the things you do the best."

 

Masha asks me if there is any blood available.  After I respond that there is whole blood available in the refrigerator, Masha orders, "Jack please go to the refrigerator and find four bags of O Negative blood. Place them in tepid water until they are no longer cold."

 

Mabel volunteers, "Masha, I wondered why the hell there was blood in my refrigerator. I know right where they are and I will do this for you." She takes off like her ass is on fire.

 

I join Masha and again ask, "What can I do to help."

 

She gives me a serious look and says, "We must sterilize ourselves again and then it's time to begin…"

 

This time we both take a hit of the vodka before we douse our hands and Masha begins the surgery…

 

Present – Stacy – At the vets

 

Thank God! We make it to the vet's ranch and Bo's still alive. I rode on the flatbed with him to keep him calm. The damn-bastard-horse was almost as hard-headed as Ben since he kept wanting to get the hell up. But I kept my legs over him to make sure he couldn't get up. Men and male horses - you can't live with them and you sure as hell can't beat any fucking sense into them! Why the hell won't they just listen to their women! Now that is the biggest mystery of all!

 

The truck stops and there are like a hundred truckers trying to help! I put my fingers in my mouth and let loose with a whistle that would deafen most people and order, "I know you all want to help, but let's do what the hell the vet wants."

 

The vet gets out of the truck and orders everyone around and starts getting Bo settled in his barn. I look at a few 'extra' men and order, "Well don't just stand there and play with your pathetic penises! Get my horse Patches out of the trailer and bring her the hell into the barn."

 

 The vet comes over and offers, "I have an extra room in the house that you're welcome to use."

 

I look at him like he's crazy and say, "Fuck that shit! I'm sleeping in the barn in the stall with Bo. Someone needs to watch him and I'll come and get you if he has any problems during the night."

 

Samantha walks up with her horse-shooting husband is rolling beside her and pleads, "Stacy, I'd like to sleep with you in the barn."

 

I look at her, look at the horse-shooting bastard and state, "Stacy, you're a damn good woman but I am finding it hard as hell to forgive your fucking horse-shooting husband. It would have been better if he had shot me, but to shoot Ben's horse is almost unforgivable…"

 

The horse-shooting bastard interrupts, "Listen Stacy, I'm sorry as hell about over reacting. But I was rigidly trained to react to dangerous situations and when you tipped my chair over, that was the worst thing you could ever do to me. Now tell me what the hell I can do to fix this situation to your satisfaction!"

 

I look at him, determine he's serious, start thinking and come up with a hell of an idea! Oh yeah Ben would be sooooo proud of me…

 

Present – Linus – Firefight at the Not OK corral

 

We make it to the Truth news van but these fuckers are serious! Where Jim, Matt and I fired for distraction at the truck stop, theses fuckers are wounding the truckers. I grab one of them, shake the hell out of him and yell, "What the fuck are you doing! These are civilians!"

 

He spouts, "Like hell they are, they are collateral damage!"

 

I'm tired of this bullshit so I knock his ass out, look at Jim and Matt and order, "We're taking control of this squad."

 

Then the shit really hits the fan!

 

Present – Ben – Austin Texas – After Eugene Onegin rehearsals

 

Tatiana (I still haven't learned her name) leads me through the streets of Austin to a rundown looking dump of a place. I sure as hell don't want to go in, but knowing Russians, it's very important I don't insult her. She takes out her keys, unlocks the door, I walk inside and… What the hell!

 

While the outside looks like a dump, it's obvious Tatiana has spent what little money she had to make this place more than comfortable, it is damn fucking livable.

 

She looks at me, her eyes are gleaming in anticipation and I say, "Tatiana, this place is lovely! Did you…"

 

She enthusiastically interrupts, "Yes Pavel Chekov, which I know is not your name because that is a character in Star Trek. You really did not assume even though I am blonde I was that stupid! I did do all this decorating myself. So tell me my new benefactor, what is your real name?"

 

Damn! I forgot that Russian women have an innate ability to detect bullshit! Probably because Russian men sling so damn much of it. I think for a moment, look at Tatiana (or whoever the fuck she is) gulp and say…

 

Present – Thom, Byron and Inga – on a special mission in Venezuela

 

Just when I think we might get the hell out of Dodge with our skins intact…

 

A fucking Jeep drives up with a Ma deuce1 mounted on the back ala Rat Patrol. I look at Byron and he declares, "Master Key!"

 

1 Ma Deuce – Slang for the fifty caliber Browning machine gun

 

Yeah that's the key for this problem so we all start firing the 12 gauge Taser shells at the fucking Jeep. And thank God this time they really work!!!

 

I'm shocked when the Jeep actually…

 

 

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