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Chapter 55

Home Chapter 55

Copyright 2012 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia 


Present – Jens – Zarika surgery


I still can't fucking believe it! We – Masha and I - are operating on Zarika who is laying on my fucking kitchen table! Masha looks at me, pulls out a hypodermic needle, inserts it into the port on the IV and advises, "This will make Zarika fall asleep so we can repair her arm."


Masha continues, "Ms. Donaldson, please monitor her vital signs."


I check her blood pressure, pulse and respond, "Masha her vital signs are normal."


Mabel brings the warmed blood over, Masha setups up the IV and makes sure I know how to change the bags. And then Masha begins the surgery…"


Present – Byron, Thom and Inga – on a special mission in Venezuela


We fire the 12 gauge Xrep Taser shells at the damn Jeep with the fifty on the back and son-of-a-gun! The shells do more than expected: Yeah, they stop the Jeep and somehow even set it on fire.


Thom looks at me, smiles and declares, "I love it when a plan comes together, now let's get these bastards!


We jump up and finally go on the offensive. Yeah, it's time to kick ass and take names!


Present – Linus, Matt and Jim – Firefight at the Not OK corral


I couldn't stand these fuckers hurting civis even if the civis were trying to kill us! I knock the bastard out, take his weapon and then the three of us are not only fighting the truckers, we're fighting whomever the fuck this Truth Network team is.


I grab the bastard I knocked out, hold him up as a shield and taunt, "Fire all you want fuckers this is your own man!"


I notice them hesitate and know I have their asses so I order, "Now, you're going to stop shooting the civilians, we're all getting in your van and getting the hell out of here - or your buddy takes one to the head."


They comply and we get the hell out of Dodge before we get into more trouble than we already experienced…


Present – Stacy – At the vets


I relent and let Samantha and her damn horse-shooting husband stay in Bo's stall with me, but I'm sure as hell not happy about it! Samantha is fine but you all know my feeling toward her bastard husband. Then I get a hell of an idea and decide to turn the tables on Samantha.


I look at her and begin to question…


Present – Yasmeen – Zarika surgery


I cannot believe it! The Masha lady has put Zarika to sleep and now she is… It is almost too gruesome to believe! She has made Zarika's injury larger, blood is flowing everywhere and the lady is busy trying to connect two pieces that look like tubes to each other. She is ordering the Jennifer lady around like she is a queen boss and the Jennifer lady… surprisingly is not upset. I turn away because this is most terrible! It is even worse than the first time when I started my monthly bleeds…


Present – Ben – Austin Texas – After Eugene Onegin rehearsals


Yeah, this Tatiana is much smarter than my Tatiana in Russia. She knows that Pavel Chekov was from Star Trek and somehow even figured out I was their new benefactor. I gulped and said, "Well, my passport says I am Erast Petrovich Fandorin."


She gives me a funny look and says, "Pavel or Erast it doesn't matter. What does matter is you're my Knight in shining armor and now you can claim your prize."


She starts to strip as I begin to pull gear from my bag and update my tactical vest. She gives me a funny look, puts her hands on her hips and questions, "PavErast (a combination of Pavel and Erast), where are you going."


I reply, "Tatiana…" She corrects, "PavErast my name is Margarita but all my lovers like you call me Rita."


I continue, "Margarita, I have some things to do tonight!"


Spreading her arms she questions, "Are they more important than this?" She shows me virtually everything!


I turn and say, "Unfortunately Margarita, they are."


I finish loading up my tactical vest and sprint out the door before…


Present – Jens – Zarika surgery


I watch Masha in amazement: I am humbled by this incredible woman. Her hands fly over Zarika and she orders all of us around like… Well, like a conductor conducting an orchestra. I continue to make sure Zarika's arm is clear of blood, her vital signs are stable and the blood in the IV continues to flow as Masha connects the two pieces of artery together and with the most incredible fingers… stitches them together!


The worst is over I look at Masha and stupidly ask, "Are you going to close the wound?"


She replies, "No Ms. Donaldson, we will pack it and leave it open for the doctors at the hospital so they will be able to verify the quality of my efforts."


I question, "Masha, how many times have you done this?"


She looks at me and states, "Ms. Donaldson, while I have studied this I have never performed this procedure previously. If someone smoked I would certainly like a cigarette." No one smokes so instead I hand her the bottle of Vodka. She removes the top, takes a big swig, then passes it around.


I look at Jack, he looks at me, and we both begin laughing…


Present – Yasmeen – Zarika surgery


I need to know so I ask, "Kind doctor lady will Zarika not arm lose and live?"


The doctor lady looks at me and says, "Yes young one, Zarika will probably live and not lose her arm. However she will need much care while she recovers."


I promise, "Doctor lady and Jennifer lady, I will take care best of her more than anyone."


The front door opens and much noise happens which bothers my Zarika!!!


Present – Thom, Byron and Inga – on a special mission in Venezuela


We kicked their asses and have them stepping and fetching like their heads are on fire and their asses are catching. But I know better than to get too cocky. I look at Byron and Inga and order, "We need to get the hell out of here before reinforcements arrive."


Inga sputters, "But the mission."


Byron much more nicely than I states, "Inga the mission and your team are gone. All we can do now is survive to fight another day."


He grabs her hand and we high tail it away from the compound!


Present – Ben – Austin Texas – After Eugene Onegin rehearsals


I barely make it out of Margarita's apartment without being raped! That woman has a one track mind and that track was centered on ME! I hit the street and hail a cab because I have a mission to accomplish tonight! And my mission sure as hell doesn't include Margarita!


Damn women - you can't live with them and you can't trade them for a good dog…


Present – Jens – Postop


The front door opens and it sounds like a fucking herd of cattle entering the cabin. I hear the typical male bravado, 'We kicked their ass.' And, 'Och aye we kicked their bludy asses.'


I meet them at my doorway and declare, "Do you all mind!"


The Scottish guy mouths off, "Ah ne'er min' fur a sweit yoong lassie loch ye."


I get ready to deck his ass when Jack comes up and says, "Look you bastards, my wife just performed surgery on one of the girls so if you could muzzle your damn mouths we'd all appreciate it."


Mabel comes up, shakes her spoon at all of them and adds, "And if any of you expect to eat in my kitchen then you'd better listen to this man!"


I wasn't sure if it was Jack or Mabel, but one of them put the fear of God (or Mabel's spoon) in them. They all gather around the table and solemnly look at Zarika.


Masha takes one look at all of them and says, "Look she isn't dead yet so stop looking at her like she is a corpse and go make sure there's a place for the helicopter that's arriving."


I almost laugh as they all stumble over each other to get back out the door…


Present – Stacy – At the vets


Yeah it's my turn to be the reporter! I question Samantha, "Sam, just how did you meet your husband."


She goes into this long story about the battle in Germany and I'm impressed as hell with her. But still I can't help but feel that she's too damn good for the horse-shooting bastard…