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Chapter 73

Home Chapter 73

Copyright 2012 - 2013 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia


Present – Masha – Outside the FBI office


A blaring alarm disturbs the interrogation and we quickly exit the building to stand in a specified area of the parking lot. I am secretly laughing internally as one of the FBI technicians comes over to SA Hotchner and complains, "That damn phone you gave us blew the hell up, injured one of our best men and set the building on fire."


SA Hotchner glares at me and demands, "Ms. Reynolds, would you care to explain how the hell that happened?"


I allow my façade to display surprise and surmise, "SA Hotchner, it must have been the aftermarket battery my husband installed…"


He rudely interrupts, "Don't give me that bullsh…"


His mouth drops open as he looks past me. Curious to ascertain what has so affected SA Hotchner, I partially rotate to the side so I can continue to watch the agent and also see that Todd is approaching.


Todd walks up to me, smiles and begins to sign…


Present – Todd – Outside the FBI office


I am shocked! The FBI office is fully ablaze. Thankfully, I find Masha and SA Hotchner outside of the building. If she had perished in the fire, I would hate to think what Jack would do. I hear SA Hotchner swearing at Masha but he abruptly stops when I walk up. I sign to her and she translates, "SA Hotchner, under whose authority did you take this woman into custody?"


I watch as he squirms and admits, "Under my own. I wanted to get to the bottom of what happened at Ms. Donaldson's cabin."


I was pissed off and signed so quickly Masha interrupted, "Todd, I can not translate if you sign too quickly."


I slow down but add emphasis, "SA Hotchner, once again you have made a serious blunder! This woman is an exceptional mother, the wife of a personal friend of mine and is expecting another child. What you have done exposes the Bureau to a multitude of lawsuits and investigations. I am taking her back with me to the Ms. Donaldson's cabin and reporting this to your superiors."


I take her hand, we walk toward my car as SA Hotchner whines, "Well, find out why in the hell she had a rigged cell phone. That's what caused the fire."


That question I did not need to ask her because I already knew why she had an exploding cell phone - for the same reason I and the Terrible Triumvirate have exactly the same type of phone.


Masha says, "Todd, thank you for coming to my aid, I was about ready to…"


I interrupt and sign, "Masha, I know what you are capable of and I'm thankful you practiced such restraint. But do not mention such a thing where many unfriendly ears are present."


She questions, "Todd, might I use your mobile phone to call my husband?"


I take out my burner cell phone, hand to her and sign, "You may keep this until you get a replacement."


She answers, "Thank you." Then she dials her husband…


Present – Jack – At the cabin


My cell phone rings and wakes me out of a troubled dream. I look, don't recognize the number but answer it anyway and hear, "Jack my love!"


It's Masha! I sit up in bed and interrupt, "My love where are you and how are you?"


She's crying and answers, "Jack, SA Hotchner came to the hospital and took me to the FBI headquarters. Todd came to rescue me. I am released and I'm proceeding back to the cabin."


Ivan wakes up and yells, "Mama, mama!"


I hold the phone up to his ear, he begins to giggle, then I take the phone away. He lies back down and promptly goes to sleep. I begin to say something when I hear gunfire outside and say, "Shit Masha, something else is going on here and I need to go."


I bail out of bed, toss on my clothes, grab a rifle and head for the door…


Present – Masha – Outside the FBI office


I look at Todd and plead, "Todd, something bad is happening at the cabin again. Is there some way we can get to the cabin post haste?"


He signs, "I think I might be able to acquire a helicopter for us."


He does acquire a helicopter with a pilot and we proceed to the cabin with utmost urgency!


Present – Mira, Ira and Alexi – At the cabin


My tympanic units detect the sound of rifle fire - 5.56 rifle fire to be exact. I sit upright in my bed and state, "Ms. Donaldson is experiencing additional difficulties outside the cabin."


My warning applies flaming matter to Ira's and Alexi's posteriors. We are out of bed in an instant, seize our weapons and charge for the front door.


My sister Mira is correct, there are multiple weapon discharges which we need to investigate. However we must also be prudent so I order, "We must follow proper procedure when exiting this domicile."


We arrive at the front door, are met by Mr. Reynolds and I caution, "Procedure everyone."


Neglecting to check the security system, we carefully open the front door which triggers a devastating tympanic klaxon and we then slice the doorway into situational awareness pie.


Present – Jens – Standing watch


How the hell did a bear (not just the normal black bears we have in Colorado but a fucking grizzly bear) get onto the property, let alone this close to the cabin, without triggering the alarm system? I will figure this the hell out later. Right now I have my hands more than full!


The bear is aggressive as hell and begins running toward me while I'm firing like hell at him with this damn mouse rifle – and it's not fucking stopping him! In fact, it seems like it's only pissing him off more.


Then I see a flash come in from the side: It's Anastasia the fox! I make sure not to shoot her (Ben would never forgive me if I did) as she leaps on top of the damn bear and her action fires Sharik up! He charges the bear, the bear takes a swipe at him but misses and Sharik bites the hell out of him. The bear bellows, the house klaxon goes off (thank God, someone must have heard my shots), the security lights come on and illuminate everything. Then the bear shakes and tosses both Anastasia and Sharik off of him and begins to head toward me again. I begin to fire again as the twins, Alexi and Jack show up. I yell, "Be careful where you're shooting! Anastasia the fox and Sharik are here somewhere!"


Alexi lets go with a forty millimeter grenade (from the launcher on the bottom of his M4), it hits the bear square in the chest and the next thing we know, we're blown backwards and covered in bear entrails and shit.


One of the twins states the obvious, "Brother, that was not a wise choice of projectiles."


Alexi teases, "However the bear is no longer a problem."


The other twin declares, "My family, I am in some distress!"


That lights a fire under all our asses…


Present – Ben – Austin Texas


As a mob begins to head toward me and begins to threaten me, I mentally question: What the hell has gone wrong with Austin? Then I realize something has always been wrong about Austin! Yeah, it's in Texas but it sure as hell isn't Texan.


I announce, "You fuckers might want to leave before I kill you all."


One laughs, "Yeah! You and what fucking army?"


I pull up my 300 AAC Blackout and end his pitiful life. Then I begin to work my way down the line that's approaching. One of them finally gets smart and yells, "Shit, he must have a whole damn army with him -  he's killing all of us! Let's get the fuck out of here!"


But I'm not letting them off that easy! I chase the fuckers down and end their miserable fucking lives. Happy again with my achievements for the night, I head back to Magarita's apartment and hope like hell she's asleep.


I use the key she gave me, open the door and… Oh hell no, she's not sleeping! Now I have a different sort of battle on my hands.


Margarita declares, "Finally, you are home and finally we can celebrate."


I look at her and decide to cloak the truth in a lie, "Margarita, unfortunately you are not my type." Yeah, after connecting with Jens again tonight I knew that she was really my only type! Since I couldn't be with her, I really don’t want to be with anyone.


Margarita blinks and then giggles, "PavErast, do not tell me?"


I interrupt, "Margarita, I would really rather not discuss this, not tonight and not ever."


She then surprises me and says, "PavErast, do not worry. I will work to find one who is your type."


I think 'oh fucking great' - out of the frying pan and into the fire! At least she leaves me alone tonight and I get some decent sleep on the couch while more faces disappear. But the ones that remain give me more bullshit than ever!!!


Present – Stacy – At the vets


I keep myself from laughing when I hear Wojtek wake up and amble toward Samantha and her damn horse shooting husband. I know what the hell he's doing and for once it's not with me, thank God. It takes forever to get that bear's stench out of your hair and clothing! I hear him settle down and wonder what the hell is going to happen in the morning when Samantha and her damn husband wake up. Then I worry the bastard might actually shoot Wojtek.


So I softly call, "Wojtek, get back in your stall or you might get shot."


And remarkably, he gets up, returns to his stall and then I can't get to fucking sleep again because of all the snoring…


Present – Inga, Byron and Thom – On the sailboat


I have completed grieving for my comrades and I know what must be done. I compose a note detailing to Byron how to use the communication equipment, then I acquire multiple weapons and slip over the side of the boat…


I wake up when it's my turn to take watch. Damn, Thom is snoring like a freight train and I wish like hell I could wake him up. I head outside but I can't find Inga anywhere! I flip on the lights, find her note and swear! That crazy assed woman is going to be the death of us! I run back into the cabin and roust Thom, "Thom, Inga went after Megan and the drug cartel by herself."


He jumps and complains, "Damn Byron you're going to give me a heart attack."


I declare with certainty, "Thom, we have to go after her."


He shakes his head but admits, "Dammit, you're right!"


We gear up and head back into the mouth of hell…


Present – Maria, Linus, Matt and Jim – at a restaurant


When I'm finally full, Matt and Jim give me an amazed look and Linus begins to laugh. I demand, "What the hell is so funny?"


Jim states, "I'm sure as hell not telling her!"


Matt continues, "Linus, she's your girlfriend and your responsibility."


Linus gives me a sheepish look and explains, "Maria, the guys are amazed because for once someone ate more food than they did?"


I immediately answer in anger, "Are they trying to say I'm fat?"


They both counter, "Oh hell no! We would never call you fat."


I look at Linus and question, "What the fuck is going on and why do these guys act like they are afraid of me?"


Linus admits, "Well Maria, after they saw what you did to the Mossad, they are afraid of you."


I decide to have some fun so I shout, "Boo!" They practically fall out of their seats but then I laugh and promise, "Well, just make sure you take good care of my Linus and you will never have the problems the Mossad had."


They say, "Yes ma'am."


And then I decide I like this new found power!


I then bring up the 300 pound gorilla, "Okay what the hell are we going to do about our primary mission?"


Linus looks around and suggests, "Let's discuss it in the car."


We head out to the car, Matt and Jim take their seats, Linus and I resume our position in back and somehow I again forget about our primary mission…