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Chapter 90

Home Chapter 90

Copyright 2012 – 2013 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia 


Flashback – Ben – Sometime in the past


I had warmed myself but still hadn't found shelter from the weather. So I trudged further into the Colorado wilderness until… I came upon my friend the fox that I'd met many times before. She recognized me and continued to hunt. It was fascinating watching her… She pounced to catch something but came up empty. I watched again, she changed direction, pounced and this time it was success! She came up with a rabbit that had been under the snow, probably in a snow tunnel.


She trotted toward me with the rabbit, came closer than she normally did and put the rabbit down. I figured that she was offering it to me. I walked toward her, she backed up, I took the rabbit and said, "Thank you for dinner, but what are you going to eat?"


She went back over and continued to hunt. Once again she missed on her first try, then changed direction and had success. I noticed that both times she succeeded, she faced the same direction - strange, how would the direction she faced affect her rate of success?


I watched her some more when she headed away, paused, looked back at me, then moved a little further and did the same thing. I decided she wanted me to follow her somewhere, so I did…


Flashback – Tatiana – At the hospital


After my wardrobe adjustment, I felt much better. I exited the bathroom, walked into Ben's room and found it was empty. I walked to the nursing station and inquired, "I am Ben Blaine's private nurse, where did they take him?"


The nurse at the desk delivered a contemptuous glare and snapped, "If you are his private nurse, shouldn't you know where he is and be with him? Or perhaps you are too busy having sex with other patients."


I perceived immediately she was Ben's previous nurse and was upset because I had been assigned as his permanent nurse. Well if she wanted to be bitchy, then I could be bitchy too. I replied, "I suggest you pay meticulous attention to my orders you jealous bitch! Tell me where Ben has been taken before I commence to render your miserable existence intolerable."


Masha arrived with Jack before she could answer. It was obvious Masha was quite upset about something.


Flashback – Jack – At the hospital


Damn we must have set some sort of record getting to the hospital but I wondered what repercussions Masha kicking the Major's ass would cause. As soon as we got up to Ben's room, I forgot all about that. Tatiana was standing outside the room at the nurse's desk and unless I was reading the body language wrong, she and Nurse Ratchet at the desk were in some sort of confrontation.


I decided I should apply a little of the old Jack Reynolds' charm and calm the situation. I asked the crabby Nurse Ratchet, "I assume Ben has been taken somewhere, can you tell me where he is?"


I couldn't understand the words of her response, but I could sure understand the 'go to hell and do not pass go' tone of her answer. Whatever she said pissed Masha off so I wisely stepped back because I didn't want to be in the middle of this fight.


Flashback – Masha – At the hospital


Had everyone dispensed with their manners today? It was obvious Tatiana and the floor nurse were in the midst of a confrontation. Jack asked very nicely (yes I know he flirted a little but I wasn't worried) where Ben was and the floor nurse told him he had no need to know and should wait in Ben's room. However, she used some of the most vulgar terms available to her limited mind.


Once again I needed to protect my man so I walked up to get in her face when Tatiana declared, "Masha, this is my battle."


I wanted to evaluate how one of my protégés operated so I stepped back and was shocked at what Tatiana did next, it was masterful…


Flashback – Tatiana – At the hospital


This bitch didn't know who she was dealing with! She insulted Jack (the stupid village nurse did not know how dangerous it was to humiliate Jack because it infuriated Masha) and now I determined the proper method to handle this. She grinned at me like the stupid village idiot she was, so I simply withdrew my cell phone and placed a call. The party answered, I apprised them of the situation, then handed the phone to the blissfully ignorant bitch.


It was enjoyable watching her squirm and crimson in multiple shades. She meekly returned the phone to me and sweetly told me of Ben's location.


I looked at Masha and Jack and explained in English, "Ben is having another MRI. If you two wait in his room I will return him when he is finished."


Masha questioned, "Tatiana, who did you call?"


I smiled and replied, "The hospital administrator, of course."


I could tell from the look in her eyes she was impressed and she stated, "That was a very wise decision. By the way, it is good to see you have your underwear back under your control…"


Flashback – Jack – At the hospital


Damn, I needed to learn Russian! Masha said something to Tatiana and Tatiana blushed worse than Nurse Ratchet.


Masha took my hand, we headed to Banzai's room but I just had to know, "Masha what did you say to Tatiana?"


Masha laughed and teased, "Jack my love, some things are only for the benefit of other women."


I recognized the bullshit and made a vow to study Russian (and my Russian) even harder…


Flashback – Masha – At the hospital


I took Jack into Ben's room and could tell he wanted to know what I said to Tatiana that made her blush. Jack was a very observant man and I was happy he didn't notice that Tatiana had no panties on when she met President Putin and that now she had them on. I could only assume she lost them in her liaison with Ben. Yes, I was happy my Jack didn't notice because that meant his eyes were not focused on her derriere, unlike most other men…


I decided he required a reward for good behavior and in addition, after kicking his Major's rear I needed a release so I kept contact with his hand and enticed him to the bathroom…


Flashback – Glen


Yes, now I was going to fix that damn Major! I made a phone call, rousted the Colonel out of bed and ordered, "Colonel pack your bags - you are heading to Moscow, Russia to take care of a situation that's occurred with one of our Majors."


She asked, "Don't tell me - it's Major M!"


I fought back a chuckle and taunted, "You're right, but isn't he your favorite?"


I could almost hear the swearing on the other end of the line but like a true professional she replied, "Yes Sir! Am I to assume this is concerning the medal presented to Sgt. Blaine?"


I answered, "Yes it is, and so you are aware (I hated to say it), Sgt. Blaine is a very valuable asset to the Corps right now and until that changes we need to do whatever we can to keep him in the Corps."


She asked, "What about Sgt. Reynolds?"


I thought briefly and replied, "If you keep him happy, then Sgt. Blaine will also be happy."


The old biddy cackled, "I assume the SECNAV's call had something to do with the change in your feelings."


Damn couldn't anyone keep a secret? I replied, "That's right, so handle both of them with kid gloves."


She questioned, "What about the damn Major."


I replied, "Hell, do whatever you have to but keep him out of trouble. He's spent more time in the damn prison over there than on his mission and he messed up the chance to turn the award into a photo-op."


She laughed, "Well this might end up better than I thought. I will leave as soon as I can get a flight."


Yes the Major would hate the day he fucked with me! Hell was coming his way and she was riding her broom…


Flashback – Jens


Well if that Russian female dog that was in love with my Ben was a spy, then I needed to fight fire with fire. I rushed to my bookcase and pulled out one of the best spy manuals ever written – MAD magazine - and began to study the comic Spy vs. Spy. I was of course the good white spy while the Russian female dog was the nasty, evil, black spy. Yes, I was going to fix her little red wagon…


Flashback – Major M


The fucking Russian police took me back to the same damn place Sgt. Reynolds had just gotten me released from. I noticed Vika was still in one of the other cells so I waved and tried to get her attention, but she totally ignored me.


I had just settled in when an official came in and Vika was released. I demanded, "Hey what about me?"


The man stated, "They are sending someone from United States. When they arrive you will be released into their custody."


I loudly complained, "So I have to stay here overnight? Come on Vika I thought we were friends."


Vika coldly reminded me, "Major, you need to address me by my formal name because we are no longer friends. I could not believe you exited with your Sgt. and left me in here. Now you will experience how abandonment feels."


I tried to complain but they had already left.


Then I wondered who the hell the Old Man was sending and how much of a RPITA they would be…


Flashback – Ben – Sometime in the past


I followed the fox deeper into the woods while we both carried our rabbits. I used the body heat from mine to keep my hands warm. She finally lead me to the opening of a cave but she was nervous about the cave and wouldn't go in. I had never seen this cave before and I had been throughout these woods. I crept close to the cave and I knew immediately why she was nervous… there was a hibernating bear inside the cave.


I backed away but she circled the opening of the cave and made this mournful half bark crying sound. She dropped her rabbit, dashed into the cave and I couldn't believe what she was carrying when she came out. Now I understood what she wanted me to do. I started to feel the anger rise in me…


Flashback – Ira, Mira and Safia – in Israel


Sometimes Mira infuriated me! Imagine using the 'pitch infant' principle to assign the ownership of this vexious, vapid, vile ass! I cognated a means by which to twist the table and declared, "Your overt concern over the ownership of said ass is greater than either mine or Safia's so henceforth we transfer ownership of the ass to you."


Safia giggled and Mira prepared her back of come when once again the ass providing locomotion for the cart of was raised off the ground. I glanced over my shoulder and quickly determined the fat, evil man had awakened and crawled to the posterior of the cart of ass.


Unfortunately for us, but even more unfortunate for Mira's ass, the evil man tumbled to the ground. and the reckless action immediately caused Mira's ass to crash to the ground, which turn in rendered Mira's ass slightly inoperable and removed our derrieres from the ass and abruptly delivered them to the ground. Safia yelled a warning, "The evil man is escaping!"


My sister Ira's ass is slightly broken and her pride (derriere) is bruised while the evil man is trying to escape. We quickly arise to give pursuit but what I viewed caused great mirth – I giggled helplessly and could not mount a pursuit. Thankfully the evil man's girth was so great he could not run faster than the pace of snail.


Ira looked at me and questioned, "Mira, what is so mirthful."


I replied between giggles, "He resembles the giant Stay Puft marshmallow man from the movie Busters Of Ghosts."


Ira joined in my mirth while Safia ran up and complained, "The man is escaping and you are doing nothing!"


We both stood up and slowly locomotivated after the evil Stay Puft man while Safia verbally entreated us, "Faster or he will escape!"


We easily apprehended the errant Stay Puft man. Because he was so tired, he did not attempt a fight but instead shuffled back to the cart of ass.


Our arrival at the cart of ass overwhelmed us with sadness. Ira declared, "Mira, your ass is permanently broken so you must terminate it."


Mira complained, "No Ira, it's your ass which is defective therefore you need to perform the termination."


Safia questioned, "I do not care who's ass it is, how will we transport the fat, evil man without our cart?"


Mira grinned, looked at me and stated…