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Chapter 94

Home Chapter 94

Copyright 2012 – 2013 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia 


Flashback – Tatiana – At the hospital


I was talking to Masha in the hallway when she dropped a bomb on me! I gasped, "Does this mean that you're leaving 'the company'?"


She smiled at me and answered, "Yes Tatiana, I must. You know our superiors will never accept a situation where I am married to Jack and do not feed them information. And feeding their insatiable appetite for information from Jack is something I will never do. To do that would break the sacred trust of marriage."


I questioned, "But who will be my new handler? Will I be forced to provide them with information acquired from Ben?"


Masha promised, "I will make sure your new handler is a well briefed professional and if you remember, Ben was able to successfully resist the advances of Miranda. So, 'when' you fail it will not reflect poorly on you."


I was heartened that Masha was instructing me to ignore attempting to entice information from Ben, which made me feel better. However, I hated the fact I would lose her as my supervisor since she was regarded as one of our finest field agents. And there was still much I needed to learn from her. 


I hugged her and…


Flashback – Masha – At the hospital


Tatiana hugged me for which I was slightly surprised, and then cried, "Masha, I will miss you!"


Jack walks into the hallway and questions, "Hey, what's going on? Why is Tatiana crying?"


I slightly improvised, "She is just happy for our upcoming wedding because I want her to be my maid of honor."


Jack declared, "This will be perfect! Ben will be the best man and now Tatiana will be the maid of honor. Ben's asking if he can get cleaned up some and I think it's the perfect time for us to get you a ring."


I smiled at Tatiana and said (in Russian), "Be careful with Ben's back."


She blushed, I grabbed Jack's hand and we departed for some jewelry stores…


Flashback – Ben – At the hospital


I was just getting ready to jump up and head to the bathroom when I heard a noise at the door. Then Tatiana scolded, "Ben, don't tell me you were going to try to get out of your bed! What did I tell you?"


I laughed, "Well, you were busy, I smell terrible and need a shower. So, how about you help me into the shower."


She scolded, "Ben, you will not get out of the bed and take a shower! I will give you a sponge bath in the bed then we will change the sheets."


I complained, "Taking a sponge bath is like screwing with a condom."


She lightly tapped my face and stated, "And if you get out of that bed you might not ever have coitus again. Besides, you have never experienced a sponge bath from me."


I taunted, "Oh yeah, well I've had many sponge baths in the past so how is yours going to be different?"


She gave me a kiss full of promise on my lips and suggested, "You will just have to see. Now I'm going to call an orderly to make sure you stay in bed while I'm gone."


I questioned, "Why don't you get Jack to help with that."


She giggled, "Because he and Masha are shopping for rings. And you should know as you are the best man. I am going to be the maid of honor."


I informed her, "The only way I'm going to be the best man is if I can walk by then."


She promised, "Oh do not worry, I will make sure that you walk, along with other things, by then!"


I heard her leave and continued with my plans to get to the bathroom when I heard (in Russian), "What the hell are you doing?"


Damn busted again! I figured it was a guy so I said, "I need a bedpan." Yeah let him take care of my shit so Tatiana didn't have to…


Flashback – Masha – Ring shopping


Jack was being true to his word. With Ben and Tatiana occupied he wanted to purchase me a ring. We walked out of the hospital hand in hand and strolled down the street. I had no idea where any jewelry stores were located and was surprised when we appeared in front of one. I looked at Jack, saw he was grinning so I questioned, "How did you know?"


He smiled and explained, "Well, when I was on the computers in the internet café, I just happened to do a search for jewelry stores in this town."


I kissed him on the lips and said, "You are going to be so fortunate tonight."


He hugged me and declared, "Hell, just having you with me makes me the most fortunate man in the world."


We went inside the store and began to shop, while I also considered 'special' ways to show Jack my love tonight…


Flashback – Major M – At the hotel


I started to shower and complained, "What sort of dump is this place - there's no fucking hot water."


The bony bitched yelled through the door, "Well if you'd done your research on Russia like you should have, you would have known that all Russian cities have central hot water and they shut it off for a week twice a year to clean the pipes. Besides, why are you so worried about the cold water since it can't shrink it any smaller than it already is."


That fucking bitch! I don't know how, but somehow I will get even for that comment. Besides, her gash had been used so many times that it was larger than the fucking Grand Canyon.


The worst part of cold water showers was getting the soap to lather up well. I was almost done when she banged on the door and yelled, "What the hell is taking you so long! You'd better not be whacking off in the shower."


I thought 'with you out there, there was no need for that to happen'. I finished my shower and worked on my plan to take care of this bitch…


Flashback – Colonel Maggie – At the hotel


Damn, I needed to thank the hell out of Glen for giving me this assignment. I had waited for years to get even with this bastard and the revenge I was getting now was better than I imagined it would be - but it was just beginning.


The Major came out of the bathroom wearing a towel so I said, "Why so shy Major, it's not like I haven't seen that tiny thing before."


He turned about five shades of red and started, "About that night..."


I interrupted, "Please Major, I've done my best to forget that terrible night and I sure don't want to talk to you about it. Now get your ass dressed so we can head to the hospital. I can't fucking believe you haven't made it there yet to congratulate your Sgts., especially since they made you look so good."


He took his clothes, went into the bathroom and it was all I could do to keep from laughing my ass off…


Flashback – Ben – At the hospital


Now that's what I call a sponge bath and a half! I think we did almost everything except have sex! Tatiana said with a slight giggle in her voice, "Now we need some assistance to get your sheets changed."


She must have pressed the call button because I heard some people come into the room. She directed them how to help turn me in one motion. They turned me while I gritted my teeth and moaned. Tatiana immediately asked, "Ben, are you okay?"


I fought out the words, "Oh yeah, I'm fucking great!"


She said, "We really should get your doctor in here to look at your bandages, he might want them changed."


I heard a new voice, "Well then, let me see those bandages."


I asked for clarification, "You aren't Dr. Kaeoorov."


He replied, "That's right I am Dr. Mikhail Voskoboynikov and I'm here to operate on your back. Now let us take a look at my new patient."


He began to fuck with my back and it hurt like hell! I tried to move and he ordered, "Sgt. Blaine stay still." Then he questioned, "When was the last time this man had something to control pain."


Tatiana replied, "I believe he had one shot early this morning and hasn't requested any since then."


He scolded, "Are you crazy! With this pain he should receive pain medication automatically."


I didn't like the tone he used with Tatiana, so I explained, "Excuse me doctor, don't yell at Tatiana because it's my fault. I don't like taking drugs for pain."


I could feel the bandages come off my back and the doctor said, "How many times have these been changed?"


Tatiana said, "Dr. Kaeoorov ordered that the dressings should not be changed."


I heard some swear words which he said under his breath, then he sent Tatiana out for some supplies. When we were alone he said, "Sgt. Blaine, I apologize for the lack of care my colleague provided. However I will rectify that oversight."


I asked, "So then tell me doctor, is it really as bad as I've heard?"


He explained, "Yes Sgt. Blaine, it is very bad. However it is hopeful that you do have feeling below the waist. Tell me is it really true that you stood for President Putin and also told him his Russian was almost perfect."


I bragged, "Hell yeah! There was no way I was going to stay seated when he was here."


Dr. Voskoboynikov continued, "And the comment about his Russian?"


I laughed, "Well I sort of use humor to mask the pain."


Tatiana arrived and the Dr. pulled off the dressings, I swore, "Son of a bitch that hurts."


The doctor stated, "And it would also appear you also use swearing to mask pain."    


I laughed, "No, that I do for fun."


He questioned, "Nurse what happened to your hands?"


Tatiana said, "I was Ben's flight nurse and cut my fingers removing the ceramic shards from his back."


What he said next told me he was one hell of a doctor…


Flashback – Tatiana – At the hospital


Dr. Mikhail Voskoboynikov looked at my hands and ordered, "Nurse when I'm finished with Sgt. Blaine I want to have a look at those hands to make sure there is no nerve damage."


Ben questioned, "Doctor, Tatiana didn't mention any problems with her hands."


The doctor stated, "Of course she wouldn't because she's a nurse and they often work when they are in pain. But I can tell you her bandages are wet, probably from the sponge bath she gave you, and that will not happen again."


I was a little sad because I really enjoyed giving Ben the sponge bath…


The doctor finished changing the dressings, we turned Ben to the other side and finished changing his sheets then rested Ben on his back.


The doctor picked up and needle and stated, "Sgt. Blaine, I want you to tell me if you feel this."


He slightly pricked Ben's right foot, Ben jerked and stated, "Hell yes I felt you jabbing my foot. If you do it again I'm going to kick you with it!"


Dr. Voskoboynikov moved to Ben's left leg pricked his foot and Ben stated, "Now that's better. Thank you for not jabbing me again."


I looked at the doctor, he smiled and said, "Well Sgt. you have reduced sensation in your left leg."


Ben interrupted, "If you had asked me, I could have told you that."


Dr. Voskoboynikov continued, "However, that you have feeling at all is a very good sign. Now nurse let me look at those hands."


Flashback – Masha – Back at the hospital


Jack bought me the most beautiful (and shockingly large) ring. I was amazed how much it cost but Jack didn't even blink. We walked back to the hospital and I finally felt like his fiancée so I hugged his arm tightly.


We walked into Ben's room and I noticed a new doctor was looking at Tatiana's hands. He scolded her, "Nurse, you should know better than to let your hands get in this condition."


Ben complained, "Doctor, what's wrong with her hands?"


He answered, "Well it's obvious she's been busy taking care of you and not taking care of herself."


I laughed when Ben suggested, "Well you could have a second bed pulled into this room and put her on bed rest."


Ben heard me and questioned, "Masha you're back, is Jack here too?"


Jack replied, "Shit Banzai she held my arm so tight since I bought her the ring, I thought she'd become part of it."


Banzai laughed, "I want to see the ring."


The doctor stated, "Now that I'm done with your nurse Tatiana, we do need to examine those eyes."


Ben asked, "How are her hands."


The doctor replied, "They will be fine but she needs to change the dressing more frequently. Nurse, please turn off the lights while I remove the bandages on his eyes."


Flashback – Jack – Back at the hospital


The doctor was going to remove the bandages from Banzai's eyes and I was damn happy! I never told him but he looked like someone had transplanted a mummy's head on a human body. But if we were going to continue as a team he needed to have his vision.


He began to remove the dressing and Banzai swore, "Dammit!"


The doctor replied, "Sorry about that but your skin has began to heal from the flash burns and is embedded in the dressing. Tatiana how often was this dressing changed."


She replied, "Never."


The new doctor said some more words under his breath. I leaned over and asked, "Masha, did he just say son of a bitch?"


She nodded and I added, "After we see how Banzai's eyes are, I need to go take care of something."


She gave me a knowing look and promised, "Jack we will take care of your problem together."


The bandages were off and surprisingly Banzai didn't look that much worse for the wear…


Flashback – Ben – At the hospital


I don't fucking like doctors, but I liked the hell out of this doctor. Hell, he took care of Tatiana and even swore when he didn't like how something was done. Plus, for a doctor he was gentle as hell. Shit, most of them yanked bandages off with no regard for how you felt.


He finally got the bandages off my head and eyes then said, "I want you to slowly open your eyes and tell me if you see anything."


I opened my eyes and…


Flashback – Glen


I sat at the damn table eating my fucking PB&J and drinking skim milk when Jennifer walked in the kitchen.


She looked at what I was doing and scolded me, "Daddy, what the heck are you doing?"


I complained, "I was hungry and there's no damn way I'm eating rice cakes but this PB&J was all I could find to eat."


She folded her arms across her chest, tapped her foot and ordered, "Well, if you leave the kitchen for a few minutes I will make you a real sandwich. You shouldn't be eating a PB&J."


Now this was news to me! Somewhere in this damn kitchen was real food.


I went back into the living room, turned on the TV and the next thing I knew…


Flashback – Jens


Sometimes I couldn't believe my father! Eating a PB&J sandwich! Oh I know they can be good for you, but not when there's more J than PB.


I made sure Daddy was really in the living room, went into the refrigerator, looked waaaayyyy in the back, opened the container marked sprouts and pulled out some healthy lunch meat. I then took a couple slices of bread, toasted them, added some Grey Poupon (and fought back giggles at the name) then added the healthy lunch meat and cheese. I then put it in the microwave for thirty seconds to melt the cheese.


While his sandwich heated, I went into the vegetable crisper drawer, took out a light beer, opened it and when the microwave dinged I grabbed the plate and headed into the living room.


Daddy saw me and demanded, "Where the hell did you hide all this?"


I answered, "That's for me to know and for you to not find out!"


Then he complained, "But light beer, that's almost as bad as water."


I threatened, "Okay, I will pour it down the sink and get you some water."


He immediately offered to sacrifice, "No, I guess it's open so now I'll just have to drink it."


I gave him his snack and said, "Okay, I'm headed back to my room to study."


He said, "Thanks for the snack…"


Flashback – Safia, Ira and Mira – in Israel


The twins were driving me crazy with this donkey and ass problem so I yelled, "Come on you two, get your asses in gear because the Stay Puft man is escaping with the ass cart!"


Safia was correct! The Stay Puft ass was absconding with the cart of ass. I occulated Mira and queried, "Mira, can this be one more use of ass for which we do not have a reference?"


Mira giggled, "Perhaps in this usage Safia feels your derriere needs military equipment?"


I informed her, "Mira, she utilized the plural form so that must include your derriere. Besides, you know our derrieres are of equal magnitude."


The three of us captured the errant cart of ass, Safia hopped into the seat and vociferously applied the gun of stun trigger. Mira's Stay Puft ass moaned then collapsed to the ground.


Mira looked at Safia and questioned, "Safia did you just ass up this situation?"


Safia slapped her cranial carapace, ignored the question and declared, "We need to repair the Stay Puft ass which is jointly owned property!"


We traversed to the frontal portion of Safia's cart of ass and determined that Mira's Stay Puft ass was in some distress. I looked at Mira and questioned, "Do you wish to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation?"


Mira complained, "That is too odious a duty for me to undertake."


Safia yelled, "You two are such a pain in the ass! Get out of the way and let me take care of him."


I occulated Mira and she giggled, "One more usage of the word ass and I believe this time it refers to derriere. It would appear there are unlimited referential ass definitions."


I suggested, "Perhaps we should put our asses order in and assist Safia with this overly assed up problem…"


Flashback – Major M – At the hospital


We finally made it to the hospital after the bony bitch made me polish my dress shoes twice. Yeah, this bitch had a world of hurt coming her way. They recognized our uniforms, gave us Sgt. Blaine's room number and we took the elevator to his floor. We walked into the room and it was dark as hell so I reached over, flipped on the lights and all hell broke loose…


Flashback – Jack – At the hospital


That stupid son of a bitch Major walked in the darkened room. While the new (and damn good) doctor checked Banzai's eyes, the idiot flipped on the lights. I don't care if he was a Major and my commanding officer, I was going to kick his ass!


I got close, recognized his companion, snapped to attention and saluted her. She smiled at me and returned the salute. Now what the hell was she doing here? Then I immediately turned off the lights.


Flashback – Tatiana – At the hospital


Some fool turned on the lights right as Doctor Voskoboynikov examined Ben's eyes. I feared that damage might occur so I pressed my chest against his face and was shocked at what happened next.


Flashback – Ben – At the hospital


Damn it was good having all that shit off my head. I was just getting a good look at Tatiana when someone turned on the lights and she plastered her chest against my face. I took natural advantage of the situation and lightly bit one of her breasts which caused her to jump and then I laughed, "This would be even better if I could see the look in your green eyes."


After the lights had been turned off again, she pulled away and the doctor asked, "You could tell her eyes were green? How well are you able to see?"


I replied, "Well, my right eye isn't bad but my left eye is blurry."


He ordered Tatiana to get an eye chart and as she left the room, let me tell you, it was great seeing her walk away from me. Then I noticed the damn Major and beside him was… Oh shit, what the hell was a full bird doing here? I felt better when I noticed that Jack talked to her. He hated brass more than I did and if he talked to her then she couldn't be too bad…


Flashback – Jack – At the hospital


After the formalities of the salute Maggie said, "At easy Sgt., and feel free to use my first name."


I looked at Major M and it was obvious he didn't like the situation one bit so I asked the sixty-four million dollar question, "What are you doing here Maggie?"


She gestured toward Major M and stated, "The Old Man was tired of the cluster fuck the Major pulled so he sent me over to fix the situation. Now how is your sniper doing?"


Banzai heard the question and spouted, "I'm fit as a fiddle Ma'am and look to be back on duty in a couple weeks."


She ordered, "Major, if it's possible, make yourself useful then make sure some other idiot doesn't turn on the lights."


Then she walked over to the side of the bed while Banzai gave her one of his goofy grins and asked, "Jack, could you help me stand so I can salute the Colonel."


Tatiana picked that time to walk back into the room and…


Flashback – Colonel Maggie – At the hospital


It was good to see Sgt. Reynolds again! And yes, I wasn't blind and noticed the sweet young thing that paid him too much attention - and the huge rock on her finger! I would deal with that later but first I needed to meet and congratulate the Corps’ newest hero.


I had read his file and I have to say, it was either a stroke of genius or pure luck that he teamed up with Jack. They were cut from the same cloth and had some remarkable accomplishments under their belts. He asked Jack to help him stand up at the same time the nurse came back and I thought it was going to be World War III! She rushed to the side of the bed and began to swear at him in Russian, threatening him if he ever wanted any again, he'd better keep his ass in the bed where he belonged. Shit, I liked the hell out of her!


When she was done, I introduced myself in Russian and gloated as she turned about fifty shades of red. The doctor was much more diplomatic and simply asked the nurse, "Are you telling me you two had sexual relations?"


Sgt. Blaine interrupted in much better Russian than mine, "Doctor, while I like you and think you’re a fine doctor that's none of your damn business!"


I appreciated the hell out of this doctor when he explained, "Sorry Sgt. Blaine, my interest was strictly medical. If this fact is true then there is even greater hope that you will regain full use of your legs. But Tatiana is correct, you need to remain in bed."


Tatiana added, "Remember, you promised to stay in bed. If you break your promise, then I will get the restraints."


With the excitement over I could now do what I needed to do. I looked Sgt. Blaine in the eyes and announced, "Sgt. Blaine, in recognition of service to your country, on foreign soil against a joint enemy, The United States Of America awards you the Navy Cross." I handed Sgt. Blaine the decoration and further added, "And in recognition of the wounds which you received we also present you with the Purple Heart. Now Sgt. Blaine, we look forward to a swift and full recovery from all your injuries because you are a valuable asset to the Corps and we do not want to lose you."


Flashback – Major M – At the hospital


This is FUBAR! The fucking Sgt. Blaine screwed up to the max, broke damn near every regulation in the book while in a foreign country and came out of it smelling like a rose.


The Colonel continued, "Now Sgt. Blaine, if your doctor would permit, I would like you to wear these sunglasses while we get some pictures of this occasion."


The doctor must have agreed because then his nurse said something and spent a few minutes trying to make his ugly assed mug look presentable. She helped him put on the glasses and the bony bitch ordered me, "Major, please turn on the lights and ask the news crews to come into the room."


I flipped on the light, looked in the hallway and it was jam packed with reporters. I motioned to them and was damn near trampled as they rushed into the room.


Flashback – Jack – At the hospital


The Colonel moved over beside me, smiled and said, "You trained him well Jack. By the way why don't you introduce me to your fiancée."


I sputtered, "How could you tell?"


Maggie laughed, "Well, I've never seen you happier and it wasn't hard to figure out why when I saw her buzzing around you like a bee."


I introduced, "Maggie, this is my fiancée Masha."


The two of them started talking in Russian. It sounded like Maggie was getting and earful so I moved over by the Major…


Flashback – Masha – At the hospital


I understood why this woman was sent here, she was assigned to fix the major problems the Major created. So I used this opportunity to inform her of how the Major was going to keep us from getting married even though President Putin had agreed to it.


She answered, "Honey, don't you worry about the Major. I have him on a short leash and he's not going to interfere with the two of you."


Then I decided I'd better inform her of how I assaulted the Major. When I had completed my tale, she broke out in laughter, then bit her tongue and said, "Honey, I would have paid good money to have seen you do that. He always was too big for his britches."


I decided I liked this Colonel Maggie…


Flashback – Major M – At the hospital


Sgt. Reynolds came over by me, motioned toward Masha and the bony bitch and asked, "I wonder what she's telling the Colonel?"


Shit we both knew what was going on so I said, "Sgt., cut the crap! You know she's telling the Colonel that I threatened to stop your marriage."


He smiled at me and explained, "I don't think you know, but Colonel Maggie and I go waaay back." I understood the threat then he continued, "Oh, and if I remember right, a certain Admiral is holding a certain document for Banzai and me."


I negotiated, "Okay Sgt. you have my attention, what do you want?"


He smiled and stated, "That's simple Sir! All we want to do is to be left alone to do our job. Look we don't know if Banzai is ever going to walk again or even see right again, but he's getting a hell of a lot better medical care here than in the States. And I figure the odds for a full recovery are better here than if he's moved back to the States. So when this all blows over, you and the Colonel need to get the hell out of here and leave us alone."


I question, "And your marriage?"


He motioned to the bony bitch and stated, "I think that's out of your hands so yes I will be marrying Masha. Oh she mentioned to me the FSB had a video of the whole incident between you and her."


I understood that if I didn't want that video to see daylight then I needed to back off. Well, I still had my ace in the hole with Sgt. Blaine…


I got ready to answer when there was a hell of a noise in the hallway…


Flashback – Glen


Damn now this is a hell of a good sandwich, but it’s too bad about the light damn beer. But hey, at least it's some kind of beer. I thought about heading into the damn kitchen and figuring out where the hell everything was hidden when a special report came on. Hot damn it's Sgt. Blaine in Russia.


Flashback – Jens


I got an e-mail from Megan that my Ben is on the television. I ran downstairs and Daddy was watching it and I saw Ben held three medals so I asked, "Daddy, what medals are those?"


He said, "Hi Jennifer. The first one is a Purple Heart for his injuries, the other is a Navy Cross and the last one is the Hero Of The Russian Federation award that President Putin gave him."


I looked as hard as I could but I didn't see the flowers I sent. However I did see that Russian female dog in the background. She tried to steal my Ben's glory! Oh was I ever going to fix her!


But Ben looked so good without his bandages…


Flashback – Safia, Ira and Mira – in Israel


I made a big mistake when I shocked the evil Stay Puft man and accidentally caused his heart to stop. I began pushing on his chest like I had seen in the movies but it didn't seem to be working. Ira knelt beside me and ordered, "Move over little one and I will revive your Stay Puft ass."


I moved and she applied her hands differently to the Stay Puft ass's chest and seemed to work with all her might. Finally the Stay Puft ass started to breath. I felt better and said, "Thank you Ira, you really covered my ass."


Mira said, "See Ira, I was correct that there are an unlimited number of ass references. At times they mean derriere and at other times they mean other things. In this case, I believe it means you protected her ass from trouble."


The Stay Puft ass moaned so Ira quickly removed the tape from his mouth. He then pleaded, "Please no more! I will tell you what you want!"


I stated, "We need to know the location of my sister and you'd better not be talking out of your ass."


Mira further observed, "Safia is correct! If you talk out your ass then we will return and whip your ass into oblivion."


Ira added, "Or until it is totally assed up!"


He gave us the address and I looked at the twins and they agreed, "Safia, it would be a logical location for your sister's ass. Let's equip our asses and go rescue her ass."


The Stay Puft ass complained, "What about me?"


Mira said, "Your ass is useless now."


We started to leave so I questioned, "What about Mira's ass?"


Mira explained, "When the Stay Puft ass dumped my ass out on the ground, unfortunately it terminated the ass's ass."


Ira questioned, "Safia, which other statements using ass can you relate?"


I debated about not telling them more because all this talk about ass had given me a headache…