Chapter 003

Together Chapter 003

Copyright 2014 - 2015 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia


Present – Liz and others – at the cabin command center


After Jens dropped the bombshell about wanting to get married at the campsite tomorrow, I called together the team and we went to work. Unfortunately, Maria couldn't help because she had some medical issues with her pregnancy and we had an ambulance take her to the hospital in Denver.


With Maria out of action, I appointed Gretchen as my assistant and as a team we came up with a whiteboard list of what we needed to make the wedding happen then went to work crossing off the items on the list. I called up the station, gave them a list of things I needed done and told them to get Samantha on her way to cover the wedding. I called as many friends as I dared and called in more favors than I even knew I had. We had a working dinner which Mabel provided and she even offered to do all the catering for the wedding (that was a big item to cross off the white board).


I hang up the phone, and the team watches as I walk up to the whiteboard and cross off the last item – a white wedding dress. The room erupts in cheers! I hold up my hands and announce, "I'm proud of each and every one of you for the hard work you've done. Be aware that I know we will have problems tomorrow…"


One of the team interrupts, "…You mean today."


I look at my watch, laugh and continue, "Thank you, yes we will have some problems with the wedding today but we should be proud of the amazing job we've done. Now let's get some sleep so we don't fall asleep at the wedding."


Present – Glen and Hammer – Looking for Evelyn


Ah hang up th' phain, swatch at hammer an' say, "I cannae believe it! Mah Jennifer is gettin' merrit tha' moorns nicht. We need tae gie tae th' airport an' fin' a flecht tae Montana."


Hammer smiles an' answers, "So she finally caught Ben. Ah guess 'er mission is gonnae better than oors. An' wa th' heel Montana?"


Damn, Ah hate tae say but he is correct, we've bin lookin' a' place fur Evelyn efter th' huir Megan took 'er ot ay th' mental hospital an' hud nae luck findin' 'er. It aye seemed loch they waur tois ur three steps aheid ay us.


Ah laughed an' answered, "Because that's whaur mah Jennifer finally cornered th' dobber. Ah was tauld she doesnae want tae waste time plannin' a big weddin', however Ah hink mah wee Jennifer is concerned th' dobber micht try tae skip it oan 'er again. "


Hammer laughed at me lest comment an' questioned, "So is thes gonnae be a shotgin weddin'?"


We waur at th' airport an' Ah answered, "Heel, Ah was thinkin' Ah micht see if Ah can gie an abrams tenk…"


Hammer suggests, "We still hae uir claymores."


Ah ask, "What ur ye suggestin'?"


He laughs an' answers, "I suggest 'at if he leaves 'er thes time we use uir claymair tae change heem frae a rooster tae a hen."


We baith laugh as we donner up tae th' tickit coonter.


Present – Ira, Mira, Safia and Alexi – at the cabin


Ms. Morgan called us into the command center and informed us of her (and our, since we are her body guards) pending trip to Montana for Jennifer and Mira's Ben's nuptial ceremony. I was shocked that Mira didn't explode but when we return to our domicile I caution my sister Mira, "For your health do not become overly emotional."


Mira smiles, pats her abdomen and answers, "Do not worry my sister, I recognize this is only a temporary dalliance my Ben is having. When I present him with my gift, he will completely forget this trollop and we will finally be united."


The 'present' to which my sister infers is the fetus which has invaded her body! After Mira and Safia terminated the other women's fetuses which had invaded their bodies using Mira's Ben's male procreation component, she subjected herself to the torture of undergoing artificial insemination and was now carrying a dreaded fetus.


Safia and Alexi arrive in our domicile and Safia complains, "I do not feel well."


Mira laughs and informs her, "Safia, it was not wise for you and Alexi to engage in unprotected coitus. Now you must recompense the flautist for your foolish behavior."


Yes, your assumption is correct, unfortunately Safia is also carrying a dreaded fetus from our newly castigated Alexi. I am the only female within our family who is functional, not that I did not attempt to acquire a similar dysfunction with Todd. He has, however, very adeptly avoided my advances.


Alexi foolishly questions, "I do not understand why we must attend this wedding."


Safia (who wishes for a nuptial ceremony of her own) castigates, "Alexi, weddings are joyous occasions which should always be attended."


Mira glares at Safia and states, "Safia, the nuptial ceremony of my Ben to that trollop is not a joyous occasion. It is a mistake for which someday Ben will recompense me."


Alexi blatantly offers, "I could make him regret it during the ceremony by eliminating Ms. Donaldson."


This was not the primary instance where Alexi had offered to eliminate Ms. Jennifer Donaldson. I counsel, "Alexi, even with your diplomatic passport, eliminating Ms. Donaldson at her nuptial ceremony would be unwise. There will be many military there who would not hesitate to eliminate your corporeal self in retaliation."


Safia strikes Alexi yet one more time (Mira and I disguise our mirth, with difficulty this time) and complains, "That's right bonehead! I don't want our baby growing up without a father."


Mira confers additional castigation, "Yes Alexi, I also do not wish my baby to age without you as his uncle."


Alexi throws up his hands and complains, "There is too much estrogen in this room, I am out of here! Do not disturb me because I am going to go play Grand Theft Auto."


He leaves, Safia laughs and informs us, "He won't be playing Grand Theft Auto for very long since I deleted all his saved games."


I verbally applaud, "Thank you our sister Safia for eliminating that vile game. I recall when Alexi attempted to impart to us expertise in that game…"


Mira giggles and interrupts, "…I also remember that situation. You became so enraged you destroyed all the computers."


I defend myself, "Only after Alexi persuaded me to utilize my vile criminal construct to eliminate a prostitute who did not deserve such an act. And if remembrance is accurate, I only destroyed two computers; you my sister destroyed your computer."


Mira continues with her giggling and replies, "Well, it looked so enjoyable when you destroyed the other two computers I decided to try it my corporeal self. Therefore the blame is yours."


Rather than continue with the verbal sparring match I suggest, "We need to prepare our luggage for tomorrow's trip. We begin to pack our luggage for the dreaded trip to Ms. Donaldson and Mira's Ben's nuptial ceremony.


Mira holds up a dress and states, "This should be the perfect dress to wear at the nuptial ceremony. Safia and I begin to giggle and I suggest, "Safia, perhaps we have dresses which would match Mira's?"


Present – Thom, Inga and the TSIFFTS teams


I finish my phone call, collapse with exhaustion in my chair, look at Inga and complain, "I don't know about you but I'm worn out."


Inga grins at me while still looking fresh as a daisy and replies, "Not me. I am finally thankful we can do something for Jennifer Donaldson after all that she's done for the TSIFFTS. Getting TSIFFTS to provide transportation to her wedding in the middle of nowhere is an exhilarating experience and an excellent logistical exercise."


Yeah, we got a call from Jennifer's command center telling us all about the wedding that she was having to-fucking-morrow! They wondered if we could provide transportation, seeing as we had a few C-130s, helicopters and other means of transport. I called the higher ups, they agreed and of course put me in charge. So Inga and I worked like crazy to get everything lined up.


I glare at Inga and prepare the proper response when she makes the crazy-assed face at me that she loves to make (and which causes me to laugh). I begin to laugh and further complain, "Hey, cut that out!"


She gives me an innocent look and asks, "Cut what out, this?" Then she does the face again. I get out of the chair and begin to leave as Inga questions, "Hey where are you going?"


I answer, "Out of here."


She runs over beside me, takes my arm and says, "You're not getting away that easy - we need to get you some food."


As much as I dislike Inga's familiarity, there are many things about her which I enjoy and the way she takes care of me is one of them. Another is she smells much better than Byron. Hell, I could have only imagined what the old fart would have done if I had him help with Jennifer's wedding. He would probably have thrown such a big fit they would have heard him in Montana and promptly canceled the wedding.


Inga squeezes my arm and says…


I can tell that Thom is thinking about Byron again because he has that sad faraway look in his eyes. This used to happen several times a day but now it only happens about once a day. I squeeze Thom's arm and carefully mention, "I bet that Byron is looking down at us from heaven and is laughing his ass off about all the work we had to do for Jennifer's wedding."


Thom looks at me like a child that had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and responds, "I think you might have the direction wrong."


I am puzzled so I ask, "What direction are you referring to?"


Thom laughs and replies, "Don't you know that when Marines die they go to hell and regroup."


I hit Thom's arm and complain, "Thom, that's not a nice thing to say about your friend."


Thom continues to laugh and answers, "You don't think I'm the one that thought that up do you? Byron told me that all the time. But I do bet you're right: Wherever Byron is, he's laughing his ass off at us. So what are you making me for dinner?"


Yes I had taken over preparing Thom's dinner. Hades, we were like a married couple but without all the benefits; not that I didn't still drop many hints about the missing benefits. I knew Thom needed some comfort food so I replied with a suggestion for one of his favorites, "How about SOS1?"


1 SOS – Shit On a Shingle – Meat in a cream sauce on top of toast.


Thom praises me which makes me feel great, "Even though you made that just the other night, I could eat your SOS daily and not get tired of it."


We walk into the TSIFFTS trailer, all heads turn toward us and we enthusiastically hear, "So we're having SOS tonight?"


Yes unfortunately, when the TSIFFTS trailer is close there is so much surveillance there is no privacy. I smile at the guys and answer, "I will make enough SOS for everyone, however I'm not doing the dishes."


That initiates the typical rapid fire game of rock, paper and scissors. James loses and complains, "Shit not me again! I lose every time and end up doing dishes." I don't have the heart to tell him it's because he's too fast and gets his choice of the rock, paper or scissor out before anyone else. They see his choice and are fast enough to alter their choice so he loses.


I begin to prepare the SOS…


Present – Jens – at Glacier Park


Well it might have been more comfortable sleeping in this tent last night than in Ben's tent the night before, but it wasn't nearly as much fun. And I make myself a promise to never ever sleep alone, that is without Ben, again. There's some noise outside of the tent which wakes me so I sit up, open the flap on the tent and I can't believe it: The whole camp had been overrun with wolves! I remember that I didn't ask Ben who his friends were yesterday and decide he meant the wolves. Seeing the wolves gives me an idea and I call Liz. She answers the phone with a very sleepy voice and I suddenly feel bad about calling her, "Hey Jens how are you doing?"


I ask her the most important question, "Liz, please tell me you were able to set up the wedding."


Liz yawns and answers, "Jens there's no way we would ever let you down. You're getting married today! The TSIFFTS C-130s are going to transport all the equipment to Glacier Park International airport, then helicopters will bring it in the rest of the way. I would be expecting your first arrivals soon."


I then tell Liz my idea but she doesn't understand until I explain it to her then she laughs and says, "Well this is going to be a wedding for the record books."


I giggle and answer, "You bet it is! Now don't tell anyone about this since I want it to be a surprise."


I see Ben walking my way holding a steaming cup of coffee and say, "Sorry Liz I need to get going. Ben is bringing me my coffee in bed."


Ben walks up and surprises me when he says, "I hate to wake you up so early, but we will have incoming choppers soon."


I listen but don't hear anything so I ask, "How do you know that?"


He smiles at me and gives me a strange answer, "Forest telegraph! Anyway, here's your coffee. I don't have fresh eggs or bacon for our breakfast but I should be able to whip together something to hold us over."


I look up at Ben and ask, "What the heck is forest telegraph? Is that Forrest Gump running through the woods to tell you things?"


Ben chuckles at my joke and explains, "Well, you've probably heard of jungle telegraph; forest telegraph is sort of like that but without the natives and the drums."


I laugh and confess, "Ben, I still don't know what you're talking about, but I do believe you."


Ben sets my coffee down on the ground, helps me out of the tent, gives me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. I complain, "Hey what sort of kiss was that?"


Ben laughs and explains, "That's the morning kiss you get before your teeth are brushed."


I move back, keeping my right arm around Ben, motion with my left arm and say, "I guess these wolves are the 'friends' you talked about yesterday?"


Ben laughs and answers, "Those are some of them, but Jens you've missed the best part, look over by the campfire."


I follow Ben's gaze and begin to giggle. Ben says, "I need to go and take care of things but don't go away because I will be right back."


Present – Jack and Linus – at Glacier Park


Damn did I ever sleep well! I was cold at first after the fire went out, then two of Ben's wolves came and slept on each side of me. It was great! I smell some coffee, open my eyes and blink several times. Then I look at Linus and softly call, "Hey Linus, wake up but do it very slowly."


Linus begins to stir and then he asks, "What's that smell?"


He opens his eyes and scoots his ass away faster than I'd ever seen a man scoot. Then he yells, "Where the hell did that black bear come from?"


Banzai walks up, hands a cup of coffee to me, hands another one to Linus and says, "I see you two met a few more of my friends last night."


Linus asks, "Ben, how did you get that bear you and Stacy Summer's traveled with here so fast?"


Banzai laughs and replies, "Linus, that isn't Wojtek, he will be here later today."


Linus stutters, "You… You… You mean that is a wild bear?"


Banzai smiles at us and says, "That's right, but as long as you don't attack me or Jens you will be fine."


Linus complains, "Like hell I will - I smell like shit."


Banzai answers, "Don't worry, I will boil some extra water for breakfast so we can all clean up."


Jennifer walks up as Banzai finishes his sentence, puts her arm around him and says, "There's no need to do that, Liz is bringing a field shower setup."


Banzai says, "Well, I need to get moving and make breakfast before the first wave of choppers arrive."


Banzai leaves, I look at Jennifer and ask, "So, are you really okay with this wedding?"


Jennifer grins and counters, "Sure Jack, why shouldn't I be?"


I shake my head and answer, "Well, we're having it at a campsite instead of a church, there was no time for a bridal shower – hell, I don't know but the whole wedding in the woods just seems sort of strange to me."


Jennifer smiles and answers, "Jack, you of all people should understand just how strange Ben and my relationship has been through the years. It's not the wedding I dreamed of as a little girl, it's much better. Now if you don't mind I need to go and spend some more time with Ben."


Jennifer leaves, I look over at Linus and tease, "Tell me, is part of that nasty smell coming off you because of the shit in your pants from being scared by the bear?"


Linus flips me the bird and answers, "Hell no!" He tries to say more but his phone rings. He answers it, gets a serious look on his face and says, "I need to get out of here! Maria's in the hospital."


I make a lame attempt at consoling him, "Don't worry I'm sure she's fine…"


Present – Samantha – arriving at Glacier Park


I can't believe my new assignment: I am getting to cover the wedding all of America has been waiting for - Jennifer Donaldson and Bennie Blaine are finally getting married. I was even more shocked when I heard where it was, no not in the nicest church in North America, but in a campground in Glacier Park Montana! I guess Liz worked her ass off setting it up and wanted me there ASAP to document everything. I can't help but wonder how my BFF Stacy Summers feels about this?


We (me and two cameramen) catch the Truth Network private jet into Glacier Park International Airport, no sooner touch down than a chartered helicopter is whisking us away to the campsite. Bob the cameraman says, "Wow this scenery is incredible! I should get some shots of this."


I agree, "Yeah, at first I thought Jennifer was crazy to have a wedding here, but after seeing this I understand."


Bob unpacks one of his cameras and begins to video the flight.


The pilot announces, "We're here."


Bob asks, "Can you circle the campsite a few times."


He begins to circle and I ask, "Was that a wolf I saw running away?"


The pilot answers, "There are quite a few wolves in Glacier Park but I highly doubt one was at the campsite because they shy away from contact with people."


We set down and the pilot remarks, "Well I'll be damned, look over there."


We follow where he's pointing and see Ben with a wolf standing beside him. Ben waves and I suggest to Bob, "Hey Bob, let's make sure we get some video of this greeting."


We're out of the chopper taking video of Ben with the wolf, then the pilot jumps out of the chopper, begins aggressively walking toward Ben and complains, "You do know it's not legal to…"


He doesn't get a chance to say anymore because the hair on the wolf's back is standing up and he's growling. Ben interrupts the pilot, "I haven't baited this wolf or any other animal in the park. He is here of his own free will to provide event security and it would appear that your attitude is upsetting him."


The pilot takes it down a notch and says, "Well, we will see what the rangers have to say about this."


Ben opens his jacket, displays a star and responds, "I am a deputy sheriff and have talked in depth with the rangers. When you talk to them tell them I said things are fine with the wolves and the bears."


The pilot shakes his head and says, "You must be crazy…"


Ben interrupts, "…Yes I have been accused of that."


I notice that John has his camera out so we're getting two different shots of this scene that will be great when it's edited. Then Jennifer runs up followed a big guy. Jennifer asks, "Are you the pilot of the chopper?"


The pilot replies, "I am and was just getting ready to head back to Glacier Park International airport."


Jennifer requests, "Would you please take Linus back with you? His girlfriend is pregnant and is in the hospital in Denver."


I decide to make an offer, "Jennifer, the Truth Network corporate jet is at the airport, we could ask it to take Linus to Denver."


The pilot says, "I'd be glad to take a passenger back to the airport but I will have to charge you."


Jennifer kisses Linus on the cheek and answers, "Of course we will pay you and thanks for the offer of the jet Samantha. Please call them and have them warm the plane up and file the flight plan."


I begin to make the call but still kibitz on the conversation.


Linus says, "Thanks guys! Sorry to miss your wedding but this is more important to me."


Ben shakes Linus' hand and says, "Take care of Maria and let us know if we can do anything."


Jennifer giggles and adds, "But make sure you wait until after the service is over."


The helicopter spools up and takes off as Linus waves to all of us.


Jennifer has moved beside Ben, they have their arms around each other and look like they have always belonged together. I prepare to ask them some questions when Ben interrupts, "Not now Samantha, we have more guests arriving."


I listen closely and say, "I don't hear anything."


Jennifer smiles and replies, "Don't worry, you will soon. My Ben is never wrong."


Present – Stacy – arriving at Glacier Park


To say that I was shocked when Ben called me would be putting it mildly. He wasn't in California at all like my stupid satellite was telling me, he was in Glacier Park in Montana! Then he really floored me when he invited me to his wedding with Jennifer Donaldson. I had still hoped to find him and show him how I would be a much better choice but well – now that was never going to happen. But I wasn't going to let this ruin the chance of seeing Ben again because you never know what will happen in the future, they might get divorced or Jennifer could die, accidentally of course.


I had to fight back breaking out in a laugh when Ben asked me to bring Wojtek and Bo because they were going to be two of his groomsmen (what the hell sort of wedding was this going to be?). I called Bill (my head of security) and he was able to find an older but still safe and serviceable military plane to fly us to Glacier Park International airport. But we still needed transportation for me, the damn stinky bear, Bo and of course Patches to the campsite. Bill promised he would find something by the time we landed and he did.


The plane rolled to a stop, the back opened and I began to lead Patches (you didn't think I was going to let her miss the wedding?) and Bo out of the airplane as Wojtek ambled out on his own. Bill walks up, takes Bo's lead and says, "Well we figured out what happened with the satellite, it was hacked."


I thought for a moment and stated, "Shit! I bet it was Jennifer Donaldson because she has done things like that in the past." I continue thinking then I hopefully question, "Do we have any proof about who was hacking it?"


We head toward a waiting helicopter, Bill shakes his head and says, "Sorry, they covered their tracks."


I swore again, "Shit! I had hoped if we could prove it was her we could have her arrested at her own wedding."


Bill chuckles slightly, looks around to make sure were not being observed and then whispers, "Ms. Summers there are other ways to deal with this problem. All you have to do is say the word."


I whisper a reply, "Permanent or temporary solutions?"


Bill continues with his covert conversation, "Whichever one you would desire."


I smile at Bill and answer, "Thanks for the loyalty and I will consider it. However I'm thinking their marriage isn't going to last that long."


Bill agrees, "Well statistically you're probably right."


We're at the helicopter and Bill says, "Ms. Summers, we can only take one horse at a time and would prefer to take the bear with Patches because she's lighter than Bo."


I look at the helicopter and comment, "That doesn't look large enough to hold a horse."


Bill explains, "No the horse is placed in a special sling and carried by a cable below the helicopter."


I get concerned and reply, "While Bo might tolerate this, I don't think Patches would stand for it…"


Bill holds up his hand, I pause and Bill continues, "This is the way the horses were rescued after Hurricane Katrina stranded them in Louisiana and it was very successful. However we do have a veterinarian standing by to sedate the horses."


I ask, "Bill, is there any other way to get us to the campsite?"


Bill shakes his head and answers, "I looked at everything, even trucking you close to the campsite but none of them would get you there in time. This is the only solution."


I hate the thought of this but finally agree, "Why don't you take Bo first and then the three of us will come after he's there safely."


Bill answers, "I figured you would want it that way."


We watch as they prepare Bo and then he gets lifted into the air by the helicopter; amazingly he doesn't seem very upset.


It seems like it takes forever but the helicopter returns with Bill on it. I immediately ask, "How's Bo and why didn't you stay with him?"


Bill answers, "Bo is fine and he's with Ben. There was a slight problem when we arrived because there was a wolf with Ben and Bo didn't like that."


I bite my lower lip and ask, "How did he look?"


Bill replies, "Ms. Summers, like I said Bo is fine."


I shake my head and answer, "Not Bo, how did Ben look?"


Bill says, "He looks fine but has lost some weight."


I'm not sure what to say so I stumble, "Well, I guess it's our turn."


The veterinarian sedates Patches and they put the sling around her. Wojtek and I get into the helicopter, the helicopter rises up in the air, the sling on Patches is attached to the cable and the pilot slowly lifts her off the ground. I'm not sure what the vet gave her but she looks like she's stoned.


The pilot complains, "That damn bear of yours smells really bad."


I'm busy making sure Patches doesn't throw one of her fits so I angrily reply, "For what we're paying you, you don't have the right to complain."


He keeps quiet the rest of the trip and finally announces, "We're here and the good news is the man that helped with the last horse is here again. He seems to really know what he's doing."


As we begin to set Patches on the ground, I see Ben and my heart jumps! It makes me feel better because he is here helping her and she knows him. Over to the side of the landing area I see Bo - he looks fine which further improves my attitude.


Ben signals the helicopter, he moves away then lands. I sheepishly apologize to the pilot, "Sorry I was sort of a bitch because I was worried about Patches, my horse."


He replied, "Don't worry about it. I remember the Truth Network interviews about the time you spent with Ben Blaine and figured meeting him again this way on his wedding day was hard on you."


I open the door and jump out with Wojtek right behind me. I look around and thank God Jennifer isn't here.


The pilot spins up the rotors and leaves.


Ben smiles and waves at me; Wojtek sees Ben lets out a yowl, starts to run towards him but a wolf steps out from the scrub oak. Wojtek lets out his 'yowl' of 'I'm scared' and takes off into the woods.


Ben walks over hugs me and says, "Thanks so much for coming and bringing my groomsmen. But what's going on with Wojtek?"


My heart is racing and my palms are sweating so I take a few deep breaths to calm myself and reply, "I wouldn't have missed this for all the money in the world. Wojtek hates wolves and your wolf surprised him. How are you going to get him back?"


Ben laughs (which lights up my heart) and answers, "From what I hear you already own almost all the money in the world. And bringing Wojtek back isn't my job."


He nods at the wolf, the wolf takes off and Ben suggests, "Let's check on Patches."


Present – Jen – at Glacier Park


Okay I admit it! I'm more than a little jealous of that Stacy Summers bitch and have been spying on her and Ben since she's arrived. I really wish that she and (even more) Miranda were not coming to the wedding and I don't even know who the heck Margarita is and what went on between Ben and her. But since they are sort of the only family that Ben has they should be here. And yes, I am the bride but I don't want to be a Bridezilla1. 


1 Bridezilla is a portmanteau combining bride with the fictional rampaging beast "Godzilla" to indicate a difficult bride.


I am happy to say that Ben's interactions with the Stacy Bitch are totally platonic, but I could sure tell she wasn't happy about it.


I begin to slip back to the campsite when my phone rings and my concealment is blown. I jump up and run back to the campsite while answering my phone. Liz says, "Hey Jens, I hope you're ready for us because you're going to be one busy bride for the next few hours."


Her call cheers me up and I reply, "I will head to the landing area and meet you."


I turn around, head back to the landing area, walk out of the trees and announce, "Hello Stacy and hello my groom. Liz should be here in a few minutes."


I can't believe what Ben does next…