Chapter 004

Together Chapter 004

Copyright 2014 - 2015 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia

 

Flashback – Ben and Jack – A new mission

 

Jack finally realizes many of the rest of the Marines hate us, but after some thought he says he has a plan so I ask, "So what do we do to fix this?"

 

Jack rubbed his hands together - which was usually a sign that he had figured out something really good. He replied, "These are Marines we're talking about so we don't have to dazzle them with brilliance…"

 

I helped Jack to finish the famous quote, "…We're going to baffle them with bullshit."

 

Jack chuckled and said, "Damn I trained you well! So, what we need to do is start a serious campaign of dis-information."

 

I asked, "So we're going to counteract what was shown on the television?"

 

Jack answered, "Exactly - and it will be easy as hell to do. We'll tell everyone that what they saw on television was Russian propaganda. You know that none of the Marines really wanted us to have a good time in Russia so they will swallow this story hook, line and sinker."

 

I had a serious question that I had to bring up, "Okay, but what about Masha?"

 

Jack laughed and continued, "That's a piece of cake, I will tell everyone I knocked her up and did the 'honorable thing'."

 

I thought for a moment then added an additional question, "Okay, how are you going to handle it when the other Marines laugh at you and say you should have left Masha in Russia? And they will probably call her a bitch."

 

Jack smiled at me and answered, "Of course they will - but it won't bother me because I know the truth. Now if you're finished with all the questions let's get started."

 

Flashback – Captain M – A new mission

 

I made it back to my seat, sat down, immediately jumped right back up and yelled, "What the fuck was that, it felt like a bee bit my ass!"

 

The boney bitch looked over and sarcastically complained, "Captain, why the hell are you making so much noise? What is your problem?"

 

I took out my flashlight, checked my seat and found some fucker had put a thumbtack on it. I wanted to swear but I controlled my temper and just stated the facts, "Some fucker on this bus is playing games. They put a thumbtack on my seat."

 

She laughed and answered as her voice dripped with sarcasm, "Well Captain, that's to be expected because you're not very well liked – in direct contrast to my wonderful relation to the troops."

 

I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing because she was the most hated person on this damn bus.

 

She unfastened her seat belt and announced, "I'm going to the head." She marched up to the front head, bypassed all the waiting Marines, banged on the door and demanded, "Stop beating your meat and get the hell out of the head."

 

The Marines in the line laughed as a private flew out of the head and profusely apologized, "Sorry Sir."

 

I figured that turnabout is fair play so I set the fucking thumbtack on the boney bitch's seat, after I first wiped my ass on it. I hoped she got a fucking infection and died.

 

She took an inordinate amount of time in the head, I was sure she was probably jackhammering herself with her vibrator because she was addicted to sex. Some of the other Marines in the line start to get desperate and moved to the head at the back of the bus.

 

She finally opened the door and the next Marine practically ran her over getting into the head. She shouted over her shoulder at him, "Sorry about the smell, I had Mexican food last night." The other Marines in the line laughed at her comment.

 

She came back to her seat. I was watching out of the corner of my eye as she started to sit down but as she was almost down she stopped, flipped on the overhead light and exclaimed, "Ah ha! It was a good thing I was smart enough to check my seat because there is a thumbtack on it. This wouldn't by any chance be your thumbtack would it Captain?"

 

I feigned innocence, "I don't know what you're talking about."

 

She gave me that ugly-assed fucking smile of hers and countered, "Well Captain, I think you do so let me return it to you."

 

She jabbed the fucking adulterated thumbtack into my arm and I swore, "You bi…"

 

She interrupted, "…I would be careful, Captain, about finishing that word unless you want to be sent back to Thule."

 

The fucking boney bitch had me by the balls and she knew it! I never finished my sentence but decided I needed retribution, not just on the Sgts., but also on the boney bitch. And if I could kill three fucking birds with one stone that would be even better…

 

Flashback – Masha – At home

 

It was another boring day where I was trapped in my wonderful house. I sat in the kitchen drinking my tea and pondering how I could extricate myself from this terrible situation.

 

I looked at the big brown folder that Ben left me which was setting on the kitchen counter. It contained the supposed 'monetary wedding gift' and I decided it was time to open it. I was shocked when I opened it, looked inside and immediately pulled out several maps. The first map was of our neighborhood with our house marked and the routes to several stores highlighted. Beside each route Ben had even written the distance in kilometers. I noticed one of the routes was labeled 'bus stop'. I quickly opened the second map and it was a bus route with a time table for the whole city; a note fell out which I held in my hand while I studied the routes. Once again, because of Ben's thoughtfulness I would not be a prisoner in my wonderful house.

 

I finally read the note:

 

Masha,

The buses only run from 0500 until 2300, if you are out and miss a bus take one of the yellow taxis home. However be careful of the buses as many of them are used by weird people.

Take care and enjoy yourself

Ben

 

I looked again at the maps and knew what I was going to do. There was a market close enough to the house (3 km) for me to walk there and buy some essentials. I quickly finished my tea, ran into the bathroom and took a nice shower, dried off, put on my makeup a nice blouse and a skirt. I was not aware of the price of things in America because Jack and I had only been to the market once, so I just in case I put five twenty dollar bills in my wallet, put my wallet into my favorite purse, put on my jacket and departed, with the map in hand, to go shopping.

 

It seemed strange to me that I was the only person walking on this wonderful sidewalk since by this time the sidewalks in Moscow would be packed and many times we were jostled while we walked. But I wasn't going to complain because it was a sunny and slightly warm day. I did get slightly concerned when a police car slowed as it drove past me; I was worried that they would harass me for a bribe as done by the road police in Russia. However, they kept moving and my heart rate returned to normal.

 

I finally arrived at the market, went inside and for several reasons could not believe my eyes…

 

Flashback – Jennifer – out for dinner

 

So far Daddy's strategy of eating out for every meal was working great. I stopped having gas and diarrhea and also stopped getting constipated. The hardest meal to eat out was breakfast, but Daddy (did I mention sometimes he was a genius?) had a plan for that. He told mother that I had an early exercise class at the base gymnasium. We would stop by the base McDonalds and get Egg McMuffins and coffee for breakfast. Then so wouldn't have to tell a lie, I would go to the gym until it was time to go to school.

 

Mother did pack me lunches for school each day, but I threw them in the trash and used the money Daddy gave me to eat the school lunch. The school lunches were nothing to brag about, in fact they were terrible most days, but even at that I still didn't have the stomach problems as before.

 

The first day was almost over, we thought we were home free when Daddy picked me up and said, "Jennifer, mother said she was tired and didn't want to eat out tonight."

 

I complained, "Rats Daddy! I was finally feeling normal."

 

Daddy interjected, "Yeah so was I."

 

I thought for a moment, clapped my hands and excitedly said, "I know Daddy, let's pick up Chinese takeout on the way home."

 

Daddy grabbed my hand and said, "Jennifer sometimes you are brilliant." It made me feel wonderful.

 

Only one more day until we got the lab tests back and then we would know…

 

Flashback – Alexi – At 'home'

 

This was becoming a routine: We were all in the car 'mother', 'father', myself and Chow Mein (locked in a pet cage located behind the back seat of our hatch back Lada). We were traveling to yet another pet psychologist. 'Mother' fired the last one when he made the mistake of saying that the problem wasn't with Chow Mein, it was with the family, specifically my 'parents' and especially my 'mother'.

 

I brought a little catnip mouse that Chow Mein loved to play with, had tied it to a string and taunted her by pulling it past the outside her cage. She would thrash around and try to get the mouse which of course she couldn't reach. She finally got frustrated and did an incredibly surprising thing! So I quickly hid the mouse and string in my pocket while 'Mother' asked, "Alexi, did you break wind?"

 

I complained, "'Mother'! I certainly did not. I think Chow Mein got sick in her cage."

 

'Mother' screeched, "'Father' pull the car to the side of the road immediately!"

 

'Father' complied. 'Mother' jumped out of the car immediately after it stopped moving, ran to the back of the car, opened the hatch looked in the cage and began to cry, "My wonderful baby girl Chow Mein, what is wrong with you? You have soiled your cage and yourself."

 

'Mother' took the cage out of the car, sat it on the ground, bent down and peered into the cage.

 

Chow Mein began to yowl as I came to the back of the car. When I showed her the mouse from my pocket, she yowled even louder and thrashed around in the cage. 'Mother' turned and almost caught me with the mouse, saw me and demanded, "Alexi why did Chow Mein become angrier when she saw you?"

 

I presented my best lie and initiated travel to my next goal, "'Mother', perhaps Chow Mien has gone crazy because she is jealous of me. If it would help, I would gladly go back and live at the laboratory."

 

'Father' had joined the fray with everyone looking at Chow Mein in her cage and said, "Alexi that is crazy, now that you're home we are never letting you go back to living at the laboratory."

 

'Mother' looked at 'father' and questioned, "Husband are you sure?"

 

I interrupted, "Really, I seem to be causing problems so I would be glad to be back living at the laboratory."

 

'Mother' looked at 'father' and said, "See husband, I told you he wouldn't mind."

 

I added one condition, "The only problem I had staying at the laboratory was that it got very boring at night because there was nothing to do. If I did go back to living there it would be nice if we could go out for dinner or a movie twice a week."

 

'Mother' looked at 'father' and said, "See husband it is settled! We will let Alexi live at the laboratory and then take him out for a dinner or movie twice a week."

 

I gave 'father' my best 'very sad' look and 'father' rebelled, "Nothing at all is settled! Not until I decide it is settled."

 

'Mother' looked shocked and demanded, "Just exactly what do you mean?"

 

'Father' stepped back and boldly stated, "I am the man and I demand that you let me make the decisions in this marriage."

 

'Mother' stood up, faced 'father', put her hands on her hips and countered, "And what am I -chopped liver?"

 

I could tell they were going to have a huge fight unless I did something. I noticed that Chow Mein's cage wasn't in a very stable position, so I pulled the little mouse out of my pocket and teased Chow Mein with it. She lunged at it, tipped her cage over and it began to roll down the hill beside the road. Chow Mein yowled worse than I had ever heard before - it sounded as if she was being killed. 'Father' dashed after the cage while 'mother' screeched, "My baby girl Chow Mein!" Then she turned, glared at me and spit her accusation, "Alexi, you pushed Chow Mein's cage down the hill!"

 

'Father defended me from the bottom of the hill where he had retrieved Chow Mein's cage, "Don't be stupid, Alexi wasn't even close to the cage. You and Chow Mein are responsible for this. You set the cage out of the car poorly and Chow Mein moved in the cage."

 

'Mother' ignored what 'father' said and instead asked, "Husband how is Chow Mein faring?"

 

'Father' arrived at the top of the hill and roughly dropped the cage on the ground. Chow Mein let out a yowl, 'mother' rushed over to the cage while 'father' came over by me. He knelt down to look into my face and said, "I am sorry for all of this Alexi, but your mother isn't very stable at this time. Perhaps it is best if you resumed living at the laboratory."

 

I then answered loudly with the one thing my 'parents' did not want to hear accompanied by my best fake sob, "I think we should discuss this with my psychologist tomorrow."

 

'Mother' yelled, "There is no way we are talking with that fat old fart about this!"

 

'Father' stood up and countered, "Shut the hell up! Alexi is correct - this needs to be discussed with the psychologist tomorrow. Now put that damn cat of yours in the car and get your ass in the seat before I leave both of you here."

 

'Father' turned and walked toward the driver's door while 'mother' tried to reason with him. Finally she understood there was no reasoning with 'father' at this time so she quickly put Chow Mein's cage in the back of the car, closed the hatch and climbed into the passenger's seat. 'Father' floored the accelerator, the tires spun like crazy, Chow Mein was tossed around further in her cage and began to yowl. In response, I opened the window and stuck my head out like a dog with my tongue flapping at the corner of my mouth. Tomorrow's meeting with the psychologist was going to be very interesting…

 

Flashback –Mira and Ira – back in Kazakhstan

 

I awakened and realized there was no noise. Yes, the obscene noise of this derelict airplane had ceased and that could only mean one thing: It had finally landed. I quickly checked my sister Ira and thanked God she still had a pulse. I tried to awaken her but she was unresponsive.

 

The exceedingly loud noise of the derelict airplane would be preferable to what I tintinnabulated next. Kostia laughed evilly and stated, "So my two little chickens have finally come home to roost. Perhaps my earlier lessons on what would happen if you defied me were not severe enough? Do not worry, you and your sister will never forget what I have planned for you next."

 

I tried to fight. However, I was frozen as a result of the flight and from fear of Kostia. The final act I remembered was being dragged from the derelict airplane by my tresses…

Flashback – Todd – Back

 

To say I was shocked was putting it mildly. The 'company' called me in, accompanied by my sexy interpreter, and asked a bunch of questions about my new found abilities with the bow, katana and wood craft. I gladly demonstrated what I had learned and then they unbelievably offered me a new mission.

 

I didn't want to appear too eager, so I signed, "I would like a day to think about it."

 

My translator forwarded my comment and my handler said, "That's fine but we need your answer early tomorrow. I will once again tell you, this is the perfect mission for you."

 

It was late in the day and my interpreter was going to drive me home until I signed, "I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. How about we stop somewhere and get a steak."

 

She smiled at me and signed back, "How did you know I was hungry, I didn't eat a good breakfast and they made us work without lunch."

 

I smiled at her and honestly signed, "I heard your borborygmus from your stomach."

 

She gave me a quizzical look and asked, "What is borborygmus?"

 

I smile at her and signed, "It is the scientific name for when your stomach growls. It is related to the 16th-century French word borborygme, itself derived from Latin and ultimately from Ancient Greek βορβορυγμός (borborygmós). The Greeks probably onomatopoetically coined the word."

 

She blushed and said, "That was a real mouthful." She blushed even more and said, "Sorry I shouldn't have said that."

 

I signed, "We're both hungry and you're wasting time."

 

She put the car in gear and headed toward a place to eat…

 

Flashback – Jack and Ben – First layover

 

We finally arrived at our first layover to refuel and to let all of us get out and stretch our legs. Having this many Marines cooped up in such an enclosed space for such a long time wasn't the best of ideas. Besides they had to seriously service the heads which by now were almost overflowing.

 

Banzai and I didn't waste the time on the flight and we went to work on our campaign of propaganda. At first I was shocked because Banzai had actually downplayed the emotions of the other Marines and I almost got into some fights when I approached the other Marines. But like all people, the Marines love good (or in this case bad) gossip and as I told our story it was passed on to other Marines.

 

Yeah, once I began to convince the other Marines that what they saw on the television was just Russian propaganda and that I married Masha because I knocked her up, I actually became sort of a celebrity. Then I really got into it and laid it on thicker and heavier as I went. I told them how the food was nasty as hell, even McDonalds didn't taste the same and they even offered the shitty borscht soup (borscht was on the menu and wasn't half bad) on the menu. I even attributed Banzai going AWOL from the hospital to the food, ugly assed nurses and terrible care.

 

I know that Banzai was off doing the same thing - I only hoped that we got our stories close enough to each other that it didn't cause problems…

 

I don't know why the hell I didn't do this sooner… On second thought I did. Jack was too fucking busy with Masha and I didn't have a chance to talk to him about things like we used to. So far the propaganda was working miracles and my biggest problem was convincing the Marines that Tatiana was really a bitch. It helped that they felt that she was 'out of my league'. I did encounter some Marines who questioned me about some things that Jack told them (damn the old fart was going way overboard!). But I was able to successfully minimize Jack's huge load of bullshit.

 

However, I was still offended by Jack and Masha because I had hoped to be invited over for one of Masha's great dinners at least once but never received an invitation. That made me think and worry about Masha enough so I wondered how she was doing. I was angry as hell at Jack because he left her high and dry so I 'fixed' the problem…

 

Flashback – Masha – At home

 

I guess I was star struck with Jack when we were at the market before and I began to scold myself for not noticing things. First was the market was huge! Even in Moscow I liked to shop at several little specialty shops on the way home and this was certainly not a little specialty shop! I had no idea how I would navigate all this food. Americans were so lucky to have such a wealth of food but they had no idea of their good fortune! In Russia, if the meat shop was out of meat we ate potatoes and beets, if the vegetable shop didn't have beets or potatoes we ate meat and if both the meat shop and the vegetable shop were out, then we had to get very creative. There were always compromises and yes you had to be very creative to consistently prepare a good dinner.

 

The next thing I noticed, I am almost ashamed to admit, was that the American women were fat and dressed very slovenly. They accurately matched the caricature of American women held dearly by so many in Russia. Many of their t-shirts (yes they wore t-shirts outside the house!) were soiled and barely covered their enormous bellies. They reminded me of свиней (pigs) and they all looked at me as if I was from a different planet. To be completely truthful I also wondered if I was visiting some strange and alien planet. Some of them were so fat they rode in electric carts! Even the бабушка (old grandmothers) in Russia that had become overweight walked everywhere.

 

Thank God they had the little shopping baskets I was used to, so I put one on my arm and began to navigate the mind numbing aisles trying to find what I needed. However, the normal foods we had in Russia were not to be found.

 

After several hours I had found enough food for today so I went up to the cashier, set my basket on the belt and the маленькая девочка (little girl) that took the money snapped her gum at me and demanded, "You empty your own baskets here."

 

The жирная свинья (fat pig) woman behind me complained, "Hurry up, I need to get back home, my soap opera will be on soon."

 

I was angry so I dumped my basket on the belt, the маленькая девочка glared at me, then looked at the жирная свинья behind me and rudely commented, "I wished they would teach these foreigners some manners before they let them into our country."

 

I wanted to yank that маленькие суки (little bitches) hair and slam her face into the counter. Instead I simply said, "Your dress and your attitude has proven to me that you are the ones without manners."

 

I left the food on the belt, began to walk out of the market when a man surprisingly stopped me…

 

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