Chapter 013

Together Chapter 013

Copyright 2014 - 2015 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia

 

Present – Stacy and Samantha – heading to the cabin

 

I threw my fucking wedding dress specially purchased for Ben in the trash because the last thing I wanted was for it to be a constant reminder of Ben's bogus as fuck wedding. Then I made sure Bill would take extra special care of Patches, Bo and Wojtek. I wanted them all returned to our operations center in Leadville safely. Once I was assured of their safety, my BFF Sam and I boarded the Truth Network corporate jet.

 

I found it amazing how quickly I sobered up after finding that Ben's cabin was burned up (I refuse to call it Ben and Jennifer's cabin because I'm not sure yet of her total victory). We're on the nice as hell Truth Network corporate jet when the flight attendant comes up and asks, "Would either of you like some champagne?"

 

The very last fucking thing I want is more champagne so instead I ask, "Very strong expresso would be great, two cups would even be better. And if you have any crank1 that would also be appreciated."

 

1 Crank – slang for methamphetamines.

 

Sam gives me a very concerned look and asks, "Stacy, do you think it's wise to use crank?"

 

I smile at the concern of my BFF and answer, "Sam, I've been using Adderall2 while I've been looking for Ben so I don't think a little more will cause me any problems."

 

2 Adderall - contains a combination of amphetamine and dextroamphetamine. Amphetamine and dextroamphetamine are central nervous system stimulants that affect chemicals in the brain and nerves and is commonly prescribed for hyperactivity.

 

Sam still complains, "Stacy, this isn't healthy for you!"

 

I counter, "Like hell it isn't! I feel better and think more clearly on it."

 

The flight attendant comes back with two cups of expresso for me and a pipe. I glare at her, point to the pipe and demand, "What the hell is that?"

 

She answers, "That's crystal meth3."

 

3 Crystal Meth - The crystal form of methamphetamine is extremely powerful and addictive. Some compare it to 'crack cocaine' as both are smoked and give an intense, powerful 'high' followed by a very severe 'comedown', and both are very addictive. Some people become addicted after a single dose.

 

I glare at her and reply (as Sam heaves a sigh of relief), "There's no way in hell I'm taking crystal - it's addictive as hell! Do you have any Adderall?"

 

She laughs and answers, "Shit, that's a child's medicine."

 

I begin to chug my expresso, look at Sam and realize that this flight attendant isn't going to be working for the Truth Network for much longer. Once the expresso begins to work, I call my team and get them looking for the bastard who torched Ben's cabin…

 

I'm glad that Stacy turned down the crystal meth because in my experience as a reporter I had seen the lives it had ruined. However, I was concerned that she was abusing Adderall! I briefly consider talking to her about it, but realize it will only cause more issues between us. Besides, she seems to be responding well to the expresso. But the flight attendant… she's going to be gone as soon as we land! We cannot have the Truth Network associated with drugs.

 

Present – Jack and Masha – finding Ivan

 

I can't believe it! My son Ivan didn't do as we told him: He was supposed to remain sitting at the picnic table. We were engaged in a huge discussion with Liz when Masha looked up and Ivan was gone! I quickly order and point in the four compass directions, "Masha, you take that direction, Liz you take that direction, Gretchen you take that direction and I will go this way. If you find him fire three shots."

 

Liz replies, "Jack, I don't have a weapon."

 

I reach in my leg holster, pull out a Smith and Wesson Bodyguard, hand it to Liz and ask, "Do you know how to use this?"

 

Liz glares at me and replies, "Of course, I aim and pull the trigger."

 

Masha brings up a good question, Jack what about the wolves and bears?"

 

I reply, "So far they seem docile unless they are threatened so whatever you do don't get scared and try to shoot one of them."

 

We take off in the directions I directed as I fume: I'm going to blister his butt when I do find him…

 

Present – Inga – taking care of business

 

Things are taken care of with Stacy Summers so I decide to head back to the clearing to see if Thom, Jack, Glen or Hammer need any more help. I have a large surprise on my way to the clearing: I find a little boy talking to a lady who I don't recognize as she wasn't part of the wedding. She has the most incredible long hair I have ever seen, it glimmers in the sunlight and makes me jealous. As I get closer I recognize the little boy to be Jack and Masha's Ivan but I still do not recognize the lady.

 

I walk up and cautiously ask, "Hello Ivan, I don't recognize your friend."

 

She turns toward me, smiles and answers, "Hello Inga, I am a friend of Ben's and my name is Destiny."

 

I am still watchful when I reply, "I do not remember seeing you come in on any of the flights…"

She interrupts, "… that is because I was here already. Ben and I hiked the Continental Divide Trail together."

 

She smiles again at me and continues, "You don't need to worry about Ivan since we are good friends…"

 

Ivan begins to bounce excitedly from foot to foot and rapidly interrupts, "…Yes, we very and good friends! Lady and Unca Ben puff and huff and blow all the bad men at the cabin away. They rescue me and I live with them in underground cave and sleep with lady each night because I miss Mama."

 

I'm finally convinced that Destiny is not a threat to Ivan. I hear some people calling Ivan's name, turn away from Destiny, bend down to look in Ivan's eyes and ask, "Ivan, do your mother and father know where you are?"

 

Ivan giggles, shakes his head and answers, "No, they very busy with Liz lady and this lady calls me to follow her and gives me 'portant' information for them about Unca Ben and Auntie Jennifer's cabin."

 

I stand up to ask Destiny what the information is but when I turn around she's gone! I never even heard her leave. I ask Ivan, "Where did Destiny go?"

 

Ivan says something crazy which doesn't make sense so I dismiss it as some sort of childhood fantasy, "She turn into wolf again and leave."

 

The calling continues for Ivan so I pull out my whistle, give three short blows on it and yell, "Ivan is here."

 

Jack runs up, sees Ivan and yells, "Thank God you found him!" Then he pulls up his rifle, fires three shots into the air and announces, "That should bring everyone else running."

 

He comes over to Ivan and scolds him, "Son, why didn't you stay where we told you?"

 

Ivan bounces from foot to foot and answers, "Papa, wolf that is also a lady call me and tell me 'portant' information about Unca Ben's and Auntie Jennifer's cabin. She say that the two bad girls that were not invited to wedding burn the cabin. And then runway from home."

 

Jack kneels in front of Ivan and asks…

 

Present – Jack and Ivan – talking about things

 

I kneel in front of Ivan and question, "Son, what are you talking about? Who is this wolf that is also a lady?"

 

Ivan points at Inga and answers, "Inga lady see her."

 

I stand up, look at Inga and ask, "You saw this wolf that is also a lady?"

 

Inga answers, "Jack, there was a lady here named Destiny talking to Ivan when I first found them. I bent down to talk to Ivan but when I stood back up she was gone."

 

Ivan interjects, "Yes, that was wolf that is also a lady. She turn back into wolf and leave."

 

Masha, Liz and Gretchen all show up together. Masha sees Ivan and begins to scold him, "Ivan, you almost scared me to death…"

 

Ivan interrupts, "… but Mama, wolf that is also a lady gave me 'portant' information about Unca Ben's and Auntie Jennifer's cabin. She say two bad girls that not invited to wedding burn cabin. And runway from home."

 

Liz gasps, we all turn toward her and she explains, "In our rush to prepare the wedding I totally forgot about Zarika and Yasmeen."

 

Jack groans and swears, "Those two little shitbirds! After all we've done for them, I can't believe they could do something so evil."

 

Gretchen complains, "I never did trust the two of them - they always seemed like they had a hidden agenda."

 

Masha looks at Ivan and explains to him, "My son this is good information, however you were bad for leaving the table and will need to be punished. There will be no wedding cake for you."

 

Ivan begins to sob, "But it special cake from Unca Ben's and Auntie Jennifer's wedding…"

 

 Masha ignores Ivan, looks at me and says, "Jack, you need to get the first thing you told me taken care of but please change out of your dress blues first."

 

I tease her, "Yes Sir, General Sir!" Then I head back to the campsite to change and retrieve the body bags…

 

Present – Thom, Glen and Hammer – taking care of business

 

What the fuck is taking Jack so long to come back with the body bags? The longer we have to wait, the more likely it is that someone else will come to the clearing like Stacy Summers did. I was sure glad Inga showed up when she did to take care of the drunk, mouthy, rich bitch and I need to tell her that when she… Well, here she is now but where the hell is Jack.

 

She walks up and says, "Jack was delayed because Ivan ran off."

 

I complain, "Those two are terrible parents; that's twice that's happened. When Jack gets here I'm going to ride his ass about this!"

 

Inga glares at me and counters, "Thom, that's not true because this time he was coerced away by a woman named Destiny. By the way do you know anything about her?"

 

I collect my thoughts for a moment and reply, "I know two things about her: She and Ben handed the SOG group their asses at the cabin and also she was with Ben on the whole trip up to Glacier National Park."

 

Inga further asks, "Did you run a background check on her?"

 

I laugh and answer, "Is the Pope Catholic? Of course I did but I never had this happen before: It came back with nada."

 

Inga gives me a quizzical look and expresses her doubts, "Nada? I find that hard to believe."

 

I laugh and offer, "Then run the background check yourself and see if you do any better."

 

Inga laughs and taunts me, "Why don't we make this interesting by having a bet?"

 

I remember what she wanted on her last bet (a full body massage from me) so I decline, "I'm not falling for your tricks this time."

 

She pouts and comments, "That's okay since it is now only a matter of time."

 

Jack finally walks up and says, "What's only a matter of time."

 

I ignore his question and complain, "Where in the hell have you been and what's this I hear about you letting Ivan run away yet one more time!"

 

Jack stands up straighter, glares into my eyes and threatens, "Thom, don't go there today! I'm not in any mood for your bullshit!"

 

I continue to heap on the insults, "Well, why don't you consult your fucking calendar and set up a date and time when we can go there!"

 

Inga steps between us, Glen walks up and says, "If it's nae tae much ay a bortha, takin' caur ay mah guidwife is mair important than yer petty disagreements."

 

Inga concurs, "Yes we need to get Evelyn and Megan into the body bags and then sneak them onto a chopper headed out of here."

 

Hammer, who is more than three sheets to the wind, adds further insult to the body, "We shoods lae th' huir Megan haur sae th' feckin' animals can eat 'er."

 

I look over at Megan's corpse, notice another problem, and ask, "Hammer, what in the hell did you do to her now?"

 

He laughs and says, "Ah didne dae anythin' tae th' fanny 'at she didne deserve. Dornt fash yerse, th' bottl was boss afair Ah shoved it up 'er crease."

 

Glen walks over to Megan's corpse, pulls the bottle out of her ass and complains, "Hammer that's nae way tae treat a 'deid soldier'. Th’ bottle shud hav a proper ceremony"

 

Glen and Hammer respectfully placed the corpse of Evelyn in the body bag. I look at Jack and suggest, "I don't think we should let those two close to Megan's corpse. The medical examiner is going to play hell covering up what Hammer's already done to the corpse."

 

Jack seems to have regained his normal disposition when he laughs and says, "Yeah, I can only imagine the problems he's going to have."

 

We take the body bag over by the greatly abused corpse of Megan, open it up, place in on the ground, grab her body and place it inside. We're almost out of the woods until Hammer does something…

 

Present – Safia, Alexi, Mira and Ira– at the destroyed cabin

 

We arrive at the destroyed cabin and realize everything we owned is gone! In response to our shock, Alexi assures us he will torture the perpetrators worse than he tortured Chow Mein. I have no idea what he is talking about so I inquire, "Alexi, who is Chow Mein?"

 

Mira laughs and interrupts, "Safia, I am very gasterflabbed Alexi has never told you about his feline nemesis, Chow Mein!"

 

Alexi vociferously counters, "Chow Mein was my 'mother's' cat not mine! I loathed that cat."

 

Mira continues, "Alexi, the aforementioned feline abided within your domicile at the laboratory therefore it was your feline."

 

Alexi counters, "Chow Mein only lived with me after my 'mother' became insane…"

 

I interrupt, "…Wait, you're telling me you tortured a poor cat and your mother became insane?"

 

Ira adds additional facts, "Safia, do not stress your mammary units, the female parental unit to which Alexi and Mira refer was not ours or Alexi's biological mother."

 

I am still in shock that Alexi could be so cruel so I ask, "But he tortured a cat?"

 

Alexi smiles and answers, "Well not really tortured; more like ran experiments on her."

 

Mira laughs, "Experiments which resulted in the feline's demise."

 

Ira confounds the issue, "No Mira, I would say it was torture."

 

Mira smiles and replies, "Yes my sister, you are correct." Then Mira looks at me an announces, "Perhaps he will inform you one day of his so-called experiments and you can decide if they were actually tortures."

 

I open the door, put my head outside and throw up…

 

Alexi continues…

 

While my sisters and Safia have been wasting their time discussing my experiments on Chow Mein, I have been thinking and have come to a conclusion.

 

I ask, "Tell me my family, who did not appear at the wedding."

 

Mira complains, "Alexi, I do not wish to recall that farcical charade."

 

Ira ponders for a moment and answers, "The two girls, Zarika and Yasmeen."

 

I answer, "That is correct, and with their feelings for Bennie Blaine…"

 

Mira immediately corrects me, "… my Bennie Blaine…"

 

I continue, "…Mira's Bennie Blaine, what do you feel their response would be to not being invited to the wedding…"

 

Mira once again corrects me, "…you mean the farcical charade."

 

I nod my head, "Okay have it your way, the farcical charade."

 

Ira finally postulates in a manner reminiscent of Dr. Watson, "Yes, Alexi is most likely correct. The girls were left here and in their anger they destroyed the cabin and all our accoutrements."

 

Now that we have defined the perpetrators I laugh and wonder, "I wonder how my experiments will function on the two of them."

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