Chapter 015

Together Chapter 015

Copyright 2014 - 2015 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia

 

Present – Samantha and Stacy – heading to the cabin on the Truth Network private jet.

 

I love Stacy too much (as a friend - so get your minds out of the gutter) to let things ride about the 'crank'. I finally work up my nerve and confront her, "Stacy, if you're going to keep using methamphetamines, then as your friend I need to tell you that you need to enter a treatment program."

 

Stacy smiles at me and admits, "I wondered when you were going to chew my ass about this. Would it help if I told you a real doctor gave me the prescription?"

 

I ponder for a moment and ask, "And just how much did you pay this doctor?"

 

Stacy smiles and replies, "Just his normal rates." Then she takes my hand and continues, "But if this really bothers you so much I will stop using Adderall."

 

I smile at her and ask, "You would do that for me?"

 

She smiles and says, "Of course I would. Sam I'm not addicted to Adderall and can stop using it anytime."

 

Then she shocks me when she asks, "By the way, what do you know about the two dead bodies in the clearing near where the wedding took place?"

 

My mouth drops open and I reply, "Stacy, I have no idea what you're talking about."

 

Stacy continues and explains about seeing two female bodies, one which was on fire and then asks for confirmation, "So you don't know anything about them?"

 

I think and reply, "Are you sure what you saw? You were very drunk and perhaps not as reliable as you might be normally. I did smell the burning flesh and wanted to see what it was but Inga talked me out of it. She told me it would ruin my already completed coverage of the wedding."

 

I am in shock when Stacy erupts, "That fucking bitch! I owe her respect because she kicked my ass but this is too much! And hell yes I'm sure what I saw! Glen and Hammer were burying some boots while the smaller of the two bodies burnt like a fucking funeral pyre. Thom was trying to put out the fire but didn't seem to be having much luck."

 

Stacy convinced me so I comment, "I think I should ask Liz about this." I call Liz…

 

Present – Liz – finishing up the wedding coverage

 

My phone rings, I look at the caller ID and see that it's Sam. I answer and she immediately asks, "Liz, do you know anything about two bodies at the wedding?"

 

Damn! Sam is good and reminds me of myself when I was younger. I counter with a question, "Sam, who told you about the bodies?"

 

Samantha says, "Liz, thank you for not lying to me. By your answer I understand that you know all about them. First, I smelled the burning flesh and on my way to investigate, Inga talked me out of further investigation by telling me it would ruin my story on the wedding. Then Stacy told me she saw two bodies. So, what's the real story?"

 

I think for a moment and make a decision, "Sam, Inga was right! This is a story that needs to be buried for now."

 

Sam continues to probe, "So when the hell can we release this story?"

 

That is the 64 million dollar question but I owe her a reply, "Not until Jens and Ben are finished with their honeymoon."

 

Sam laughs and asks, "Do you really think we can keep this and the cabin fire from them until they get back?"

 

I laugh right back and reply, "If I know Jens, those two won't turn on any television for the next two weeks. Now, I need to get going and finish the interviews for your wedding story. Make sure you discover all you can about the cabin being destroyed."

 

Sam answers, "Sure thing Liz."

 

Present – Samantha and Stacy – heading to the cabin on the Truth Network private jet.

 

I hang up my mobile phone, Stacy looks at me and asks, "So, did Liz identify the bodies?"

 

I shake my head and reply, "Hell no she didn't! She told me we needed to 'bury this story' until after Ben and Jens return from their honeymoon…"

 

There's something rotten as hell in Denmark! Bury this story until after the bogus as hell honeymoon? Now that I'm sober, have a couple cups of expresso in me and I'm 'firing on all cylinders', I scratch my chin and begin to think, who the hell!!! Then it comes to me and I spout, "Sam, the bodies have to be Evelyn and… and… and what the hell was the name of the bitch who got her out of the mental hospital?"

 

Sam immediately supplies the answer, "Shit, that would be Jennifer's old best friend turned arch nemesis, Megan."

 

I repeat the name, "Yeah that's right, Megan! Listen this is like a jigsaw puzzle and all the pieces are now in place. Why the hell would Liz, being the huge news hound that she is, want to bury this story? She's trying once again to protect Jennifer…"

 

Sam answers…

 

I'm more than a little pissed off that Liz feels she can protect her BFF Jennifer while I can't afford the same protection to my BFF Stacy. I nod my head and reply, "Stacy, you're probably right, but what the hell can we do about it?"

 

Stacy gives me a wicked smile and comes up with a great plan…

 

Present – Jack, Thom, Inga, Glen and Hammer – taking care of business

 

I can't believe it! After we have Megan in the body bag Hammer comes over, pulls out his claymore and begins to hack her body as he shouts, "Feckin' son ay a huir whoor'! Die!"

 

Glen comes over and stops him but not until more damage is done! Not only is Megan's corpse more mutilated than ever, Hammer poked some holes in the body bag and fluids are already draining out of the holes."

 

I swear, "You stupid fucker! You put holes in this body bag and now we need to replace it."

 

Hammer laughs, "Fa th' buck cares! Lae th' huir haur."

 

I look at Thom and suggest, "I think we all need to go and get the body bags this time…"

 

Thom concurs as he sighs, "Hell, I'm tired of this bullshit."

 

Inga agrees, "Yes, I would prefer to be anywhere other than here."

 

Thom looks at Glen and commands, "Try to keep Hammer from fucking up Megan's corpse anymore."

 

Hammer laugh and makes us nauseous when he answers, "Heel, Ah didne hink abit feckin' th' whoor'. Cheers fur th' idea."

 

Inga throws up in response to Hammer's revolting outburst while the three of us leave as Glen and Hammer continue to argue…

 

Present – Safia, Alexi, Mira and Ira– at the destroyed cabin

 

That last thing I want to talk about is how Alexi tortured a cat to death. Just the thought that he did that makes me ill and I seriously question the nature of the man I've fallen in love with. The sheriff has the cabin cordoned off with yellow crime scene tape so I suggest, "Well, if we're going to hunt down Zarika and Yasmeen, then we need to change our clothes."

 

Alexi observes, "Yes, you are correct. I do know that Jennifer kept some BDUs in the basement which we can access from the garage." He begins to move the car in the direction of the garage and a deputy sheriff approaches the car. Alexi rolls down his window and advises him, "We are going to park the car in the garage."

 

The deputy cautions us about the obvious, "Just remember this is an active crime scene so stay outside of the yellow tape."

 

Alexi rolls up the window and Mira adds, "Yes, and we need to thank Safia for suggesting we hoard our katanas in the subterranean tunnels otherwise they would have been destroyed with all of our accoutrements."

 

I reply, "After hearing about the last fire, it made sense to me to keep the irreplaceable items like the katanas and my bow in the basement. Now I wish I would have just stayed in the basement because replacing all the baby things will be expensive."

 

I can't believe when Alexi taunts me…

 

I am tired of hearing about babies and baby things - that's all my sister Mira and Safia seem to talk about. I decide to have some fun so I tease, "Babies don't need toys anyway. When you give them something they just play with the box it came in."

 

Safia threatens, "I should box your ears for saying something that stupid."

 

Mira joins in the threat, "Yes Alexi, that was a very ill-advised and obviously false statement."

 

 Ira ruins my fun when she announces, "You both need to recognize situations when Alexi is tugging your manacles."

 

After we are safely in the garage and the door is closed, we exit the car, move to the tunnel doors, activate them walk inside the tunnels. Thankfully the lights automatically come on.

 

Safia removes her shoes and complains…

 

I kick off my shoes and complain, "It has to be a man who created high heels as a method to torture women. My feet and back are killing me."

 

Alexi laughs and informs us, "Safia, my soon to be bride, you are incorrect in your assumption. In fact for many years men wore 'high heel' shoes - including Louis XIV of France. He was credited with creating many fashion trends including high heel shoes with red heels. And when men used to ride horses, elevated heels were practical to keep the feet from sliding forward in the stirrup. Even modern cowboy boots are manufactured with a moderately high heel."

 

I glare at Alexi and spit, "I really don't give a rat's ass! What I really need is a back rub and foot massage like you used to give me."

 

Mira kills that idea…

 

We cannot afford to expend the time for Alexi to give Safia a back and foot massage because most often when he performs those acts, they end with the two of them enjoying coitus. I take control and command, "Alexi and Safia, we must assault while the fire is hot or the trail of the terrible teenagers will become frigid."

 

Alexi corrects me, "Mira, you mean strike while the iron is hot. But I also agree, we cannot afford the time to take care of personal needs. I will find us some BDUs while you three obtain our weapons."

 

Safia counters, "Oh no! I'm not letting Alexi chose my BDUs because he will get the sizes all wrong."

 

Alexi taunts while gesticulating with his arms, "I will not. I merely need to find the largest waist BDUs with the shortest legs."

 

Once again Safia begins to inflict well deserved blows upon Alexi. I occulate Ira and with prodigious effort we manage to quell our mirth. I nod my cranium at Ira, translocate behind Safia and place her in a hold of sleeping. Ira translocates behind Alexi, places him in the same hold and states…

 

I place Alexi in a hold of sleeping and threaten, "If you both persist in conducting yourselves like Lilliputian nestlings, you will be larruped."

 

Alexi struggles but I am appalled at the intensity of his effort to escape so I increment the force on the hold of sleeping until he commences to become subdued.

 

Safia greatly increases her agitation toward Mira then screams, "Ira, you're hurting my Alexi! Release him or you will feel my wrath."

 

Mira cautions, "Safia, it would not be healthy for your fetus if I render you incapacitated. Please desist your agitation."

 

Safia negotiates, "Only if Ira stops her punishment of my Alexi."

 

I release Alexi but he foolishly turns and attempts to strike me…

 

Present – Liz – finishing up the wedding coverage and a new problem

 

I finish up the wedding coverage by interviewing the guests who haven't yet departed. Fortunately because of the time taken by Thom and Jack's problem, the only guests whoare left are from Jennifer's side. I had no desire to interview Stacy Summers (even if she is Samantha's BFF), or Mira and Ira and family (I was shocked at what they wore to the wedding), or that other woman Margarita who looked like a prostitute. To interview any of them would have given credence to their thoughtless outfits. I was more than a little shocked that Mira and Ira didn't bother to inform me of their departure - after all they are supposed to be my body guards! I need to consider if it is still wise to keep them as my bodyguards.

 

I am sitting at one of the tables, fighting my stupid bridesmaid dress (why are all bridesmaid dresses stupid?), drinking some champagne and rubbing my feet. Bernie walks up and offers, "Why don't you let me do that for you?"

 

I smile at him and say, "Normally I would jump at that chance, but my feet smell really bad today from being in my heels all day."

 

He smiles at me and offers a solution, "Well, I know just the thing to fix that."

 

I wonder what the hell he's doing when he leaves but then he walks back over with a big pan. He sets it on the ground at my feet, and orders, "Okay, put your feet in the pan."

 

I put my feet into the pan, he pours some warm water over them, adds a little soap to the water and begins to wash and massage my feet. I lean back and delight in the special attention I'm getting. Unfortunately Thom and Jack walk up and Jack totally ruins the moment, "Liz, we have a hell of a problem!"

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