Chapter 093

Together Chapter 093

Copyright 2014 - 2016 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia

 

Present – Ben, Jens and others – The trip

 

Things are going great on the run. Even the drone backed off so it's no longer bothering me. We're running on a frontage road adjacent to I-25 when some stupid fucker stops without pulling completely out of the traffic lane and begins to yell at Mira and Ira, "Hey babes, how about you come over here? I promise to show you a good time you will never forget."

 

Unfortunately the stupid fucker let his hormones override his judgement and he forgot he was on an Interstate highway. Some cars swerve around him with their tires screeching, then the inevitable happens: Someone plows into the ass end of his car. It's impressive as hell because the car that plows into him almost flips over. This starts a chain reaction accident with multiple cars running into the mess.

 

I look at Jens, Mira and Ira and command, "We need to get the fuck out of here before the police show up!"

 

Ira agrees, "Yes Mr. Blaine, it would not be virtuous to be detained by the constabulary."

 

We turn around and haul ass back toward the semi and the trailer but when we arrive where we left the semi it's fucking gone!

 

I look at Ira and ask, "Where the hell is our ride?"

 

Ira takes a radio off her belt, and calls the semi, "Tommy or Johnny, this is Ira. What is your current location?"

 

Johnny replies, "We decided to drive down I-25 for a short distance to save time."

 

Ira angrily says, "Johnny, this was not our order! We need you now at our drop-off location! How far down Interstate 25 are you?"

 

Johnny apologizes, "We're about ten miles ahead of you. Sorry, we didn't think you would mind. We'll turn around and be right back."

 

I motion for the radio, take it from Ira and order, "Johnny, you will never make it back here. Mira and Ira's costumes caused a huge accident on I-25 so the southbound lane is totally blocked and the northbound lane is…" I stop because I hear more noise from a crash. I look over and see the fucking lookie-loos caused a crash in the northbound lanes. I continue, "The northbound lanes are now also blocked, we'll run toward you guys on the frontage road."

 

Johnny gives us good news when he says, "We're on the frontage road ourselves, so we'll turn around and hightail it in your direction."

 

We turn around head south and I'm running almost as fast as I can run. I complain, "The next time we go for a run, all three of you are going to wear BDUs."

 

The three of them giggle and I continue, "There's nothing funny about this!"

 

Jens announces, "Ben, why are you so angry about this?"

 

That's a good question! I think about it while we're running and finally answer, "Jens, you're right. I'm not sure why I'm so angry about this. Forgive me you three."

 

Jens sprints past me, slaps my ass and says, "That's the Ben that I know and love."

 

I catch Jens and say, "You're going to pay for that!"

 

We run past the accident site on southbound I-25 and Ira announces, "Mr. Blaine a member of the constabulary seems to be motioning to us."

 

I look over and see a highway patrolman motioning for us to come towards him. I swear, "We're sure as hell not stopping for that son of a bitch."

 

We arrive at the semi where Ira and Mira crawl underneath the trailer, get the hatch open and are gone. Jens and I are next. We're no sooner in the trailer than it begins to move as Ira announces, "The drone device has been recovered however a constabulary vehicle is approaching."

 

I move to the control panel and see the front mounted camera shows a highway patrol car coming toward the semi. The patrol car pulls across the road and I state, "If he wants to look in the trailer, we're fucked now."

 

Jens says, "I hate to tell you my husband but you're wrong."

 

Jens, Ira and Mira head to the back of the trailer where Jens climbs up on a short stool and pulls down a rolling door. She turns, smiles at me and says, "Now if they open the trailer door, it will look like it's full."

 

I guess they thought of everything. The semi stops and Johnny has keyed the mic to the trailer so we hear the state trooper demand, "I want to see your load."

 

Johnny complains, "Our trailer was sealed at the factory. You will need to get a warrant to have it opened."

 

We watch on the external cameras as the trooper and Johnny walk to the back of the trailer. Johnny shows him the seal on the door, the trooper nods his head and walks back to his car. Johnny gets back into the cab and says, "Well that was a close one. It's a good thing Thom had the seal placed on the door after you four got in the trailer, otherwise we would have had to open it."

 

Tommy says, "Let me turn this rig around and we'll be back on the road in almost no time."

 

Turning around was easier said than done because the traffic from I-25 had been rerouted down this service road. We finally turn around and Jens says, "I'm, starved what's for breakfast?"

 

I smile at her and say, "Well, with us moving cooking is out of the question…"

 

Mira interrupts, "…Mr. Blaine we have a large selection of frozen toaster device food available and an even larger selection of military Meals Ready to Eat."

 

I reply, "There's no way in hell I'm having an MRE for breakfast, so toaster device food it is."

 

Mira takes me to the freezer, shows me the food and I can't believe it: Mira understated the amount of frozen breakfasts we had.

 

Jens comes over and says, "I want the pancake sandwich."

 

Mira and Ira offer, "Mr. Blaine we would be cheerful eating one of the Meals Ready to Eat.

 

I complain, "Like hell I'm going to fix Meals Refusing to Exit for you two when we have such a great selection of frozen breakfasts."

 

Ira asks for clarification, "Mr. Blaine, what is a Meal Refusing to Exit."

 

Jens provides the answer, "Mira and Ira, that's what we called Meals Ready to Eat in the Marines because they had a tendency to make you constipated."

 

Ira replies, "The Russian military meals were superior to the American meals, especially the dried fish."

 

I give Mira and Ira a dirty look and declare, "I hated the fucking dried fish because it was too salty."

 

Ira laughs and says, "Mr. Blaine sometimes I cannot comprehend your statements."

 

Mira adds, "Yes Mr. Blaine, we would fight over the dried fish. What I wouldn't give for some dried fish right now."

 

I say, "And a beer or three or four to accompany it."

 

Ira longingly says, "Yes a great Baltika beer would be excellent."

 

I reply, "I do agree some of the Baltika beers were good but others tasted like horse piss."

 

Mira giggles and teases, "Mr. Blaine, how do you know the taste of horse urine?"

 

Jens giggles and says, "Ben, Mira and Ira stop goofing around, I'm hungry."

 

They select their meals and I grab mine. We head to the microwave and begin to heat up our breakfasts…

 

Present – Samantha, Stacy and Inga – Stacy is a RPITA

 

Inga and I are trying to figure out a way to keep Stacy from obsessing on Ben and Jennifer when my phone rings. I check and it's Stacy so I answer, "Hi Stacy what did you need?"

 

Stacy confronts me, "Samantha, why aren't you covering the news story about Ben and the bitch?"

 

I ask, "What news story?"

 

Stacy yells into the phone, "Samantha, the motorhome they were in has been destroyed by the terrorists. Turn on the fucking TV and watch it."

 

I hang up on Stacy, turn on the TV, flip it to KOA Denver and sure enough, there's the Arakawa woman doing a report on how the motorhome that Ben and Jennifer were in was destroyed.

 

My phone rings again and this time it's Liz, she orders, "Samantha get to Denver and cover the destruction of Ben and Jennifer's motorhome."

 

I frown at Inga, begin to cry and say, "Sorry Inga I have to go and cover this sad story. I can't believe that Ben and Jennifer are dead."

 

Inga gives me a strange look and says, "I don't think I would become too worried about the fate of the motorhome."

 

My reporter instincts kick in and I ask, "What do you mean?"

 

Inga motions me close and confides, "Samantha, you can't tell a soul but Ben and Jennifer weren't on the motorhome."

 

I blink my eyes in amazement, wipe away the tears and ask, "Then where were they?"

 

Inga prepares to confess when Stacy, John and Vic run into the restaurant and Stacy orders, "Come on Sam, we're taking the chopper to Denver."

 

Stacy grabs my hand, we head out to the waiting van and Bill drives like a madman to the airport.

 

Stacy begins to cry and then snaps at me, "Samantha, why did you do that report on them leaving in the motorhome! This is your entire fault!"

 

I remember Liz telling me that I didn't really give the terrorists any valid information. This along with Inga's reaction lets me know that something is rotten in Denmark!

 

I hold Stacy and comfort her by saying, "Stacy, let's not assume that Ben is dead. We really won't know anything until we are at the scene and begin the coverage. You know that if anyone could escape this, it would be Ben."

 

Stacy looks up at me and asks…

 

Samantha seems to have the feeling that Ben's not dead, in fact she seems almost sure of it.

 

I smile at Sam and ask, "Samantha, how many people were on the motorhome with Ben?"

 

Samantha replies, "Stacy there were four people: Ben, Jen… the bitch and their two bodyguards Mira and Ira."

 

I smile at Sam and say, "So if Ben was on the motorhome, then there should be four bodies on it." I order Bill, "Bill, you're coming with us on this, I want you to find out how many bodies are on the motorhome."

 

Bill asks, "Why is that Ms. Summers?"

 

I smile at Sam and say, "It would be just like Ben to pull a fast one on everyone and trade the motorhome for something else."

 

I'm almost sure of my deduction when Sam frowns and tries to talk me out of it, "Stacy, you can't really be serious about this."

 

I grin and say, "As serious as ever!" Then I change the subject, "Bill, did you contact the accountants and give them the financials for the restaurant?"

 

Bill replies, "Of course I did Ms. Summers. They said to give them a couple days to look at things and to run a risk analysis on opening a restaurant in Leadville."

 

I continue, "And the movie theater?"

 

Bill replies, "Ms. Summers, according to the accountants that's a no brainer, especially since we have so many of our people moving to Leadville. They suggested we offer it as a 'perk' for having them move."

 

I ask, "Do we still have some employees who are complaining about the move?"

 

Bill says, "Some of the younger employees didn't want to leave their life in New York City, but when they discovered how much further the dollar goes in Leadville they stopped complaining. The only problem we've had should be helped by the movie theater. There isn't much to do at night, so some have gotten in trouble at the local bars."

 

I have one final question for Bill, "Did you contact the realtor and ask her why she hadn't gotten back to me on the ski area?"

 

Bill replies, "Yes I did. She told me she's been so busy with all the moves that it had slipped her mind. She said she would have information for you next week."

 

Samantha says, "We're here Stacy."

 

I sit up while Bill opens the door for us. We climb into the chopper and head to Denver…

 

Present – Ben, Jens and others – The trip

 

We finish our 'toaster device' breakfasts (which I made in the microwave) and I comment, "I really didn't get enough of a run today and wish I could get in some more physical training."

 

Ira quickly responds, "Mr. Blaine, Mira and I were going to practice martial arts. We would welcome the chance to evaluate your skills."

 

I look at Jens and she's grinning like the Cheshire cat so I know something's going on. I ask, "Well my love, are you up for some martial arts training."

 

Jens shocks me when she declines, "My love, Mira and Ira have evaluated my skills so I think I'm going to sit and observe."

 

Mira states, "Yes, Ms. Blaine's martial art skills are adequate but not exceptional."

 

I state, "Give me a few minutes to change my clothes and then we can start."

 

Jens follows me into our bedroom and warns, "Ben watch yourself, Mira and Ira are incredibly good and they really kicked my rear."

 

I grin at Jens and tease, "I thought I was the only one who got to kick your ass."

 

Jens grins and counters, "Ben you've got that wrong: For you it's kiss my rear. Just watch yourself, I don't want you to get hurt. But also make sure you win so I can win the manicures and pedicures from them."

 

I finish getting into my gi and ask, "So what motivation do I have to win since you get the manicures and pedicures."

 

Jens gives me a smoldering look and replies, "Don't worry, I know several ways to make you happy. I almost forgot to tell you, I made a mistake of using some of my best moves when I warmed up. They figured that out and were ready for them when I tried to use them."

 

We head out of our bedroom and I watch as Mira and Ira have already started. Jens was correct, they are really good.

 

I walk up to the mat and say, "I need a few minutes to warm up."

 

I begin to stretch and warm up with some punches and kicks while making sure not to use any Capoeira moves.

 

I do notice that Mira and Ira watch me like hawks watching a scared rabbit. I finish and ask, "Which one is first?"

 

Mira replies, "I would like the honor of first encounter."

 

We both step on the mat, face each other and bow. I barely have time to react to Mira's first attack. But I do successfully block all her punches and kicks.

 

Mira compliments my beginning, "Very good Mr. Blaine, I wanted to see if you were prepared for a rapid attack."

 

Jens cheers, "Kick their rears Ben."

 

I'm comfortable for now to let Mira attack as I effectively stop those attacks. I am shocked at how fast and accurate she is.

 

Jens encourages me, "Ben, stop playing around and kick Mira's rear."

 

Mira starts toward me for another attack while I begin my Capoeira dance which confuses her and she pauses. I don't hesitate and a leg sweep takes her to the mat, then I finish her off with some pulled punches.

 

Mira complains, "Mr. Blaine that was not fair! I had no idea you knew Capoeira."

 

Jens whoops, "That's my Ben, always full of surprises. I can't wait for my manicure and pedicure."

 

Jens motions to me so I walk over to her and she says, "Ben, Ira's even better than Mira and she now knows that you know Capoeira."

 

I smile at Jens and confide to her, "Jens don't worry, I might have learned a few new things since we sparred last time."

 

I meet Ira in the middle of the mat and she threatens, "Mr. Blaine you will not surprise me with your Capoeira moves like you did with my sister."

 

Unlike Mira, Ira doesn't immediately attack after our bows; instead she patiently waits for me to attack.

 

I feign an attack and then drop back as Ira launches into a counter attack. Jens is correct: Ira is much better than Mira and damn near hits me with one of her punches.

 

I pretend like I'm starting a Capoeira move which Ira counters, then I move in for the kill using Muay Thai1 which I recently learned. Ira is shocked when I grapple her and perform multiple knees to her middle and legs. I then throw her across the mat like a rag doll where she lands on her back, kips up, bows and says, "Well done sensei. I did not expect your Muay Thai attack. How many martial arts do you know?"

 

1 Muay Thai - is a combat sport of Thailand that uses stand-up striking along with various clinching techniques. This physical and mental discipline which includes combat on shins is known as "the art of eight limbs" because it is characterized by the combined use of fists, elbows, knees and shins. These tools being associated with a good physical preparation makes a full-contact fighter very efficient. Muay Thai became widespread internationally in the twentieth century, when practitioners defeated notable practitioners of other martial arts.

 

Jens runs over, hugs the hell out of me and covers me with kisses, "That's my man! I knew if anyone could beat them it would be you."

 

I hold Jens close and reply to Ira, "I have extensive knowledge of three martial arts."

 

Ira asks, "Well, we have seen Capoeira and Muay Thai, what is the other?"

 

I grin at her and reply, "You and Mira are too skilled so I'm sure as hell not going to tell you. You will have to discover it another time."

 

Mira requests, "Mr. Blaine, would you mind teaching us some of the Capoeira moves."

 

I spend the next thirty minutes teaching them some basics of Capoeira.

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