Chapter 109

Together Chapter 109

Copyright 2014 - 2016 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia

 

Present – Jens, Ben and the others – Bad News

 

Unfortunately our room wasn't finished yet (Rats! I wanted to try out the mirrors on the ceiling) so we went back to the meeting room. The meeting was over but the main phone rings, Gretchen answers it and announces, "Jennifer it's Samantha for you."

 

I figure it must be something about the report she did so I walk over to the phone and ask, "What's going on Samantha?"

 

Samantha shocks me when she instead says, "Jennifer, you're not going to believe it but the terrorists have the bodies of your mother and Megan."

 

I take a deep breath and slump into a nearby chair. Ben amazingly realizes I'm in trouble, comes over and asks, "Honey, what's wrong?"

 

I look at Ben and answer, "The fricken-fracken terrorists have mother's and Megan's bodies."

 

Samantha continues, "Not only that but they have done terrible things to them."

 

I swallow hard and ask, "What sort of things?"

 

Samantha replies, "Sexual things that you really don't want to see."

 

I ask, "How did you learn this information?"

 

Samantha replies, "They released a video to all the major news outlets. I've refused to let the Truth Network show it."

 

I think for a moment and say, "Samantha, show the video and then grab your camera and get over here for our rebuttal."

 

Samantha says, "Will do, it should be on sometime soon."

 

I demand, "Turn on the TV to the Truth Network."

 

The TV is turned on and we see a fricken-fracken towelhead come on and announce in very broken English, "These are the bodies of Jennifer Blaine's mother and former best friend. Watch what we do to these infidels!"

 

Thank God the Truth Network blanks out most of the graphic parts, but you can still tell they are having sex with the fricken-fracken dead bodies - they are sick beyond belief! The towelhead continues, "We look forward to when we do the same to the bodies of both the infidel Blaine's."

 

Ben scoffs, "That day will never come." Meanwhile, I continue to think of an appropriate response which will infuriate the towelheads. I stand up and announce, "Ben, I need to go to the bedroom for a minute. Samantha is coming with a camera crew and I need to prepare for them."

 

The first thing I do when I reach our bedroom is to cast the formication spell on the towelhead in the report. I'm not sure if it will work because I only saw him on TV but I figure it's worth a try. Then I find my sexiest bikini and head into the bathroom and change. From the wolf whistles of the workmen when I come out of the bathroom, I can tell I've made my point. I walk down the hallway, into the meeting room and Ben's eyes practically bug out of his head. He comes up and demands, "Jens, what the hell are you doing?"

 

I smile at my husband and say, "I'm fighting fire with fire. This bikini should be enough to give those fricken-fracken towelheads fits."

 

Ben licks his lips and hopefully asks, "Are the workmen finished yet?"

 

I reply, "Not yet my love so you need to be patient."

 

Ben says, "Perhaps I should go and help them?"

 

I laugh as Ben leaves the meeting room. Thom, Linus and Inga arrive and Thom says, "Why are you wearing a bikini?"

 

Inga asks, "Jennifer, is there a beach party planned?"

 

I grin at her and reply, "Nope, this is my anti-towelhead combat uniform."

 

Thom laughs and affirms, "Well that should drive them crazy! And I don't blame you after what they did to you mother and Megan."

 

Inga grins and suggests, "Jennifer, if you could wait a couple minutes, I would love to join you."

 

Jennifer grins at me and asks, "What about you Thom? You up for some combat…"

 

I grin right back and suggest, "Jennifer, I have a better idea, why don't we see if we can come up with some tear off burkas.

 

Maria walks into the room, hears Thom's comment and she offers, "Thom that's a great idea! I can whip those up on my sewing machine in about ten minutes."

 

Jennifer comments, "I didn't know you knew how to sew."

 

Maria answers, "Yeah, I picked it up as a hobby while I was pregnant. Why don't you and Inga come to my room and I will get started. But only if I can be in on it too."

 

They all leave and I laugh, "This should be great."

 

Linus counters, "Yeah, it's going to be like kicking a beehive."

 

I reply, "A beehive that deserves to have its ass kicked to hell and back."

 

Present – Mira and Ira – In on the plan

 

We overhear the discussion from Ms. Blaine and Inga so I occulate my sister and inquire, "Why aren't we participating in this action?"

 

Ira replies, "Sister you are correct but I have even a better idea. Do we still have our burkas?"

 

Mira affirms, "We certainly do, what are your plans?"

 

I reply, "Wait until we arrive in our room."

 

We transverse to our room, begin to acquire our costumes but I can't refrain from giggling. We are sure to antagonize the terrorists and also devise enjoyment for ourselves and our allies.

 

Present – Samantha – The report?

 

John and I arrive at the cabin (actually the tunnels), go through all the new security procedures and are escorted to the garage. Once again we are searched but this time Mira isn't here so the search isn't quite as embarrassing for me. John does complain because they carefully check every component of his video equipment and decide they don't like several items about which they offer, "You can get these on your way out."

 

John is going to complain but I nip it in the bud, "Thank you for being so thorough. If we need any of these items for the video we will ask Thom to bring them in for us."

 

We are lead to the meeting room and the security guard orders, "Please wait here for Jennifer and the others."

 

I'm not sure what he means about the others but I soon find out. Three women walk out of the side room wearing what look to be shabby, ill-fitting, burkas. I recognize some eyes so I ask, "Jennifer, is that you?"

 

She giggles and says, "Shoot my eyes gave it away. Yes it's me." We have a little video for the terrorists that we want you to shoot for us. Sort of a kiss my derrière response."

 

Jennifer describes what she wants, I smile and agree with her desired result, "This should be fun and send the correct message to the terrorists."

 

I nod at John, he begins the tape and I start, "Good afternoon America this is Samantha Stevens with the Truth Network. Earlier the terrible terrorists issued a disgusting video where they revealed their true selves by violating the bodies of Ms. Donaldson and Megan. We are here to tape Jennifer Blaine's rebuttal."

 

Some quasi Arabic music comes on and three women dressed in Burkas come out on the stage then dance around a little. I wait for the culmination when the music abruptly changes to Whip It by Devo - this sure wasn't part of the plan. Two more women in burkas show up on the stage, Jennifer pauses in what I'm sure is shock and Ira commands, "Burkas off now!"

 

Jennifer, Inga and Maria rip off their burkas and are dressed in the tiniest bikinis I have ever seen. Then we're even more shocked when Mira and Ira rip off their burkas: They are dressed in high-top spike heel boots, fishnet stockings, tight and very short leather shorts and bustiers. They then produce whips and begin to snap them across the stage. Mira leaves for a moment, brings back a mannequin dressed as a terrorist and then Ira and Mira begin to whip the hell out of it. I almost feel badly for the mannequin. They easily snap the towel off its head, the mustache and beard off its face and finally its man dress exposing a fake penis. It's not there for long because Ira whips it off.

 

Jennifer announces, "I wanted you Muslim cowards to see that underneath the burkas are real women who aren't afraid to stand up to you."

 

Ira adds, "We will be happy to use any of you for practice with our whips, if you think you are men enough."

 

The women all hug each other and Jennifer continues, "What you did to my mother's body and Megan is of no consequence because their immortal souls have already departed this Earth."

 

Ira states, "And what we will do to your bodies will assure that none of you enter your so called heaven. We plan on defiling your alimentary canals with pork penises."

 

John kills the video, I look at the women and ask, "Do you think I can clean this up some so I can show it on normal television."

 

The women all giggle and Jennifer orders, "I want two versions of this: One for the Truth Network which you can edit as necessary and one which is unedited for the Internet which Gretchen will upload to Al Jazeera."

 

Ira suggests, "I would think that the Al Jazeera and YouTube version would be superior."

 

Gretchen agrees enthusiastically, "Yes we need to start a YouTube channel and do more videos like this."

 

Ira states, "Ms. Blaine, we have many ideas which would infuriate the Muslims, would you like to hear them?"

 

I begin to say yes when Ben shows up and advises me, "Jens, the workmen are finished."

 

I of course know what he means so I reply, "Ira, I will be busy for a few minutes…"

 

Ira grins and interrupts, "...More like a few hours!"

 

I continue, "We will talk about this after our interlude." Ben and I head to the bedroom to try out the new ceiling mirrors – they are everything I always wanted but then the intercom interrupts us...

 

Present – Ben – Time to pick up the gifts

 

We're getting busy in our bedroom finding the mirrors are great and give the person on the bottom a great view. Then unfortunately the intercom comes on and Gretchen announces, "Ben, there's a personal phone call for you."

 

Jens laughs and says, "I guess we will need to finish this later."

 

I answer the phone, determine it's the guy I talked to earlier and he says, "Your order has arrived."

 

I look at Jens and say, "I need to borrow your Jeep."

 

Jens asks, "Where are we going?"

 

I reply, "I am going to Denver but you're staying here."

Jens frowns and says, "You're no fun?"

 

I slap her ass and threaten, "Oh yeah, then I guess we won't continue this later."

 

Jens quickly recants, "Ben I'm sorry. Please can we continue this later? And please take Thom or Linus with you."

 

I agree, "Taking one of them is a great idea…"

 

Jens interrupts, "… Make sure you don't let my Jeep get destroyed."

 

I tease, "Keep it up and I might have to borrow one of the twin's whips."

 

Jens shocks me when she pleads, "Ben, would you please?"

 

I give her a shocked look, and she begins to giggle, "If you could see your face."

 

I unfortunately get out of bed and get dressed, then I head out of our bedroom to find Thom or Linus.

 

As I leave Jens reminds me, "Ben don't forget, we have lunch at the Delaware hotel to go over the plans for Liz's wedding."

 

I swear, "Damn, I hope I can be back in time."

 

Jens orders, "Ben you have to be on time since you're the best man."

 

Present – Ira and Mira – Mr. Blaine

 

Mr. Blaine exits their boudoir much sooner than expected and has an interesting look on his visage. I walk up to him and inquire, "Mr. Blaine is everything copacetic?"

 

He states, "Yes it is. I need to take a trip to Denver and I'm looking for Thom or Linus."

 

I volunteer, "I would be most happy to accompany you. And do not forget, you need to be at the Delaware hotel for lunch."

 

Mr. Blaine shakes his head and states, "Thanks Ira, Jens already reminded me of that. And it's not possible for you to come since my trip to Denver concerns gifts for you, your sister and Jens."

 

I helpfully state. "Thom is currently in the kitchen and Linus is in his boudoir, I suggest that Thom would be easier to interrupt."

 

Mr. Blaine says, "I will take Thom with me then." And he then departs for the kitchen.

 

Mira comes up and inquires, "My sister are there concerns about Mr. and Ms. Blaine?"

 

I reply, "No my sister, Mr. Blaine is going to Denver to acquire some gifts for us and Ms. Blaine."

 

Mira wonders, "What sort of gift could he be providing for us?"

 

I shake my head and reply, "I have no responsible estimation."

 

Present – Ben – Time to pick up the gifts

 

I walk into the kitchen where Thom and Inga are talking. I shake the keys to Jens' Jeep and say, "I need someone to make a fast as hell trip to Denver with me. We need to be back by noon."

 

Thom replies, "Inga, now that you know the security arrangements, you stay here and make sure they are implemented. Ben, I will come with you after we get some rifles. And why don't we take my car instead of Jennifer's Jeep because I can drive as fast as I want."

 

I agree, "That sounds like a plan to me, especially since Jens is worried that her Jeep might be destroyed."

 

Thom laughs, "Hell it would take a RPG to destroy my Crown Vic. Let's stop by the armory and pick up some rifles."

 

We leave for the armory and pick up several rifles...

 

Present – Thom – Trip to Denver

 

I look forward to the trip to Denver for two reasons: One I can get away from Inga since she has been hinting she wanted to have sex, and two I could put the lights on the top of the Crown Vic and floor it all the way to Denver. Hell, I would have to if I wanted to get Ben back for his lunch appointment at the Delaware hotel.

 

We leave the compound, I slap the lights on top of the Crown Vic and floor it. We're flying down the road and I assumed I would impress Ben but he seems bored. I ask, "Ben aren't you concerned about our speed?"

 

Ben replies, "Not really Thom this car is slow compared to my Cobra."

 

I whistled, "Damn I bet that was fast!"

 

Ben replies, "Yeah, I outran everyone, even the Sheriffs occasionally. But I was finally caught."

 

I ask, "Is that what made you enter the Marines"

 

Ben replies, "No, I was traveling with a band, playing lead guitar for them and had sex with a girl who told me she was eighteen. She ended up being fifteen and the judge gave me a choice, go to jail or become a Marine."

 

I state, "Damn it sounds to me like you were railroaded. Didn't you have a lawyer?"

 

Ben says, "My father had died a few months earlier and I used our family lawyer. I had been raising hell after my father's death and I think he was in cahoots with the judge to get me into the Marines to calm me down."

 

I ask, "I can sure look into this if you would like, there might be something legal that can be done?"

 

Ben shakes his head and answers, "Nah, that happened what seems like a lifetime ago and other than all the fatwahs against me and now Jens, I don't really give a fuck. The Marines were really good for me."

 

I reply, "And I would say from your record, you were really good for the Marines."

 

Ben smiles and says, "You don't know the half of it."

 

I counter, "Ben, you forget as a Deputy Marshall I have seen all of your military records, even the supposedly hidden missions for the three letter branches of the government."

 

Ben complains, "Damn I thought those were gone."

 

I offer, "Well, I can certainly make all of them disappear if you would like. Just understand, if I do this, once they are gone they are really gone."

 

Ben nods his head and affirms, "Yeah, if those could go away it would be good. However, if I could get a copy first it would be even better."

 

I say, "Consider it done, now where are we going."

 

Ben tells me and I ask, "What are we getting."

 

Ben smiles and says, "Gifts for the twins and for Jens."

 

We arrive at the shop and Ben says, "Thom, I might need some help bringing these out to the car."

 

I walk into the shop with Ben and I am amazed at how much he pays for the items. He carefully checks each one, finds one he doesn't like and complains, "This one needs the scope replaced."

 

The owner smiles at Ben, goes into the back room, comes out with a new scope, installs it and bore sights it. Ben's happy so we take the four items out to the Crown Vic, Ben looks at his watch and says, "Hell Thom we need to fly back to Leadville."

 

I love to hear that, put the lights on the top of the Crown Vic and floor it...

 

Present – Liz, Bernie and the others  – The wedding lunch

 

Well Jens is here, Bernie is here, the wedding planner is here, Samantha is here, Ira and Mira are handling security along with Inga and some others from the tunnels/cabin but Ben is missing.

 

Jens says, "Don't worry Liz, Ben should be here soon."

 

I suggest, "Could you call him and see where he is?"

 

Jens shakes her head and replies, "Ben hasn't been issued a secure mobile phone yet so I can't call him." She pauses and says, "But I think he's with Thom so let me give Thom a call."

 

Jens calls Thom and says, "Hello honey, where are you? We're all at the Delaware hotel waiting for you."

 

I figure out it must be Ben (because Jens would never call Thom honey), she hangs up the phone and announces, "They just arrived."

 

Ben runs into the dining room and apologizes, "Sorry I'm late."

 

Bernie nicely says, "Just don't be late to the wedding."

 

Ben obviously teases when he says, "Wedding, what wedding?"

 

Jens nips it in the bud by saying, "The wedding we are going to be in. If you miss it then you're going to be missing many more things and that you won't like."

 

Ben shockingly retorts, "You mean sex? I can't believe you of all people would threaten me by withholding sex." He laughs and continues, "Hell, we can't go a day without having sex at least…"

 

I interrupt, "...We don't really need to know this. Thanks for making it Ben now let's discuss the wedding."

 

The wedding planner takes over and tells all of us what we're supposed to do...

 

Present – Stacy – at Stacy’s offices

 

I love it when a devious plan comes together. After giving the terrorists the location of the bodies, they took over and did unthinkable things to the bodies. I just wish I could have seen the look on the bitch's face.

 

Bill walks into the office and apologizes, "Sorry Ms. Summers for the terrorists finding the bodies first. Did you see the video of what those sick bastards did to the bodies?"

 

I carefully reply, "Yes I did! I agree about what they did to the bodies. They are evil men."

 

Bill gives me information I didn't have, "But the rebuttal video the bitch did was even better. The problem is now there will be a battle between them."

 

I ask, "What video?"

 

Bill comes over to my computer and finds the video on the Internet. I watch it and can't believe it! That… that… that… witch! Somehow I will make her pay.

 

Bill continues, "Ms. Summers, we should really consider moving the business back to New York. Leadville is no longer safe."

 

I counter, "Bill that's not going to happen. We just moved here and I sure as hell don't want to move back to New York. Have you hired more security personnel?"

 

Bill affirms, "Yes I did and I also increased the camera coverage."

 

I ask, "What about Sam's idea for a moat?"

 

Bill says, "I looked at the drawings and I sort of like the idea, but not as a traditional moat. I was thinking of a flaming moat."

 

I query, "Please explain that concept to me."

 

Bill says, "Well, we build the moat extra deep and in the bottom of it we place a gas pipe with a series of holes in it and a self-igniter all connected to the control panel in the castle. That way anyone who tries to enter the castle is instantly flambéed."

 

I laugh and reply, "That's a hell of an idea, when can you start on it."

 

Bill replies, "As soon as you and Ms. Stevens get back from furniture shopping."

 

I inform him, "Bill, those plans were canceled because Samantha has to go over the coverage for Elizabeth Morgan's wedding."

 

Bill questions, "Who's handling the security?"

 

I reply. "The Angels of Death and Inga with some of the security personnel from the bitch's tunnels."

 

Bill logically asks, "Ms. Summers are you attending the wedding?"

 

I smile at Bill and say, "Of course, I wouldn't miss it."

 

Bill states, "Then we will need to provide security for you. I need to coordinate this with Thom."

 

I angrily reply, "You mean the old fart who almost broke my nose?"

 

Bill affirms, "Yes Ms. Summers, he's the new head of security for Ben."

 

I secretly wish the old fart would get killed by the terrorists - that gives me a new idea. Bill leaves to work on the moat and I make another anonymous phone call.

 

 

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