Chapter 28

Walker Chapter 28

Copyright 2011 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia

 

Present – Mystery Guy – In the afternoon

 

I was mucking around watching that bloke 'n' his Sheila. After seeing nothing but them Mexicans for months it was bonza to see some high quality female flesh (it helped that she was half undressed). When I pulled up my binocs to scan her better, I almost crikey m' duds - she was the Stacy bitch that had the big reward.

 

Unfortunately the bloke she is with is much better than the Mexicans. Somehow he saw m’ movements 'n' when I saw him take off, I made m’ self real scarce. Now I have to find a way to get that Stacy bitch away from him since that reward would have me sitting pretty for the rest of m’ life. So I did what I always do when I needed to think or was lonely: I pulled out m’ didgeridoo 'n' began to play….

 

Present – Stacy – In the afternoon

 

Ben yells, "Those fucking bastards!"

 

I stop SLLSing, stare at and him and offer, "Are you still having problems? Perhaps I should look at that generator?"

 

He throws down the wrench is disgust and whines, "Have at it, but I doubt you can do anything more than I can."

 

I hand him my rifle and say, "Good, then you stand watch while I get to play."

 

He gives me a dirty look but he doesn't know I know quite a bit about engines because there was a time when Grandmamma indulged me and let me learn about being a race car driver. All I wanted to do was drive the car really fast but you know Grandmamma, she made it a learning lesson so I had to learn all about engines.

We found the generator but the banditos had messed around with it and that was why it wouldn't start. Ben has been (now that's funny) messing with it for hours while cussing and swearing like – well like a Marine! As I begin poking around at the generator, Ben suddenly yells, "Son of a bitch!"

 

I raise my head up, bump the still sore cut and yell, "Frack it all Ben what did you do that for?"

 

He answers, "It's that damn didgeridoo again."

 

I listen and reply, "So what's the big deal about it. I thought you liked it."

 

Ben complains, "It's like those damn white sparrows in Canada: The first few days you hear their song it's great but after a while it's like fingernails on a chalk board. If I ever find that bastard I'm going to shoot him."

I laugh and quip, "Be thankful it's not bagpipes."

 

Finally Ben laughs and admits, "Yeah if it was bagpipes I would hunt the bastard down and put him out of his misery."

 

I chuckle and I notice where the problem is. Ben had fixed the generator that whole time and had forgotten to reconnect the wire from the coil to the distributor. I pause for a moment, smile and ask, "Hey Ben, if I fix the generator what do I get?"

 

He rudely answers, "Well you can get a hot shower because you stink."

 

I counter, "Looks who's talking, you smell like something the cat dragged in. I tell you what, if I fix this generator I want a kiss, and I mean a real kiss, from you!"

 

Present – Ben – In the afternoon

 

So Stacy thinks she can fix this piece of shit generator after I've been working on it for hours! And now if she makes it work, she wants a real kiss for it? There's no fucking way she can fix this generator so I calmly accept her terms, "Well, you smell like something the cat shit out. But you're on about the kiss."

 

She grins at me. Suddenly I'm not so calm as she questions, "Marine's honor - if I fix this generator I get a real kiss from you until I pull away?"

 

I squint at her and ask, "What's this Marine's honor stuff."

 

She smiles again and answers, "It's something new I came up with. I figure you would never dishonor the Marines by not keeping your promise. Now stop avoiding my question: Marine's honor - if I fix this generator I get a real kiss from you until I pull away?"

 

I try to read her but I can't. However I'm sure as hell between a rock and Stacy so I figure what the hell, one little kiss won't hurt. So I promise, "Yes if you fix the generator you can have a real kiss."

 

She keeps pushing me and repeats, "Don't forget, Marine's honor and it's until I pull away."

 

I'm tired of this so I wave my hand and accept, "Yeah, yeah Marine's honor and it will be until you pull away."

 

She grins, pushes the starter button (the same one I've pushed about a hundred times), the generator coughs a couple times and starts right up. I look at her and say, "I'll be a son of a bitch!"

 

She starts her victory dance and gloats, "Well you're sure going to be one thoroughly kissed son of a bitch when I get through with you!" Then she moves toward me.

 

I postpone the punishment, "Stacy, we can't do this out in the open because it's too dangerous. Now let's head inside before this piece of shit generator runs out of fuel."

 

She pouts, then gets an evil smile and says, "I know, how about I collect my kiss in the shower."

 

I quickly backpedal, "There's no way in hell we're taking a shower together."

 

We begin to head towards the door and I notice she's automatically SLLSing and she adds, "Yeah you're right: The bed would be much better for the kiss I have in mind."

 

I ponder on what the hell I've gotten myself into? There has to be some way to distract her because I'm sure as hell not going to kiss her in bed. Not unless I'm a hell of a lot more drunk then last night and that sure as hell isn't going to happen…

 

Present – Mystery Guy – In the afternoon

 

I came to America from m’ home down-under to help. These blokes were having a bit o' strife with the Mexicans. It was boring as hell in m’ homeland hunting roos' 'n' crocs 'n' this was certainly going to be more exciting.

 

The thing about this place is sounds travels down these valleys for miles, echoes around 'n' it's hard as hell to tell where the sound is coming from. I've used this to m’ advantage with me didgeridoo because I would scout a bunch of them Mexicans 'n' then play my didgeridoo every night until they were a bit crazy. Only then would I attack them. I barely got away from the bloke 'n' his Stacy Sheila but I did set myself up in such a way I could keep m’ eye on them. I stop playing my didgeridoo because I hear a new noise. I pull up me binocs 'n' see the Sheila dancing around 'n' I give her a long hard look. You know I'd like to have a go or two at that before I give her to her parents 'n' if the Sheila's bonza enough, I might even keep her for a month or so.

 

I watch as they head to what looks to be a bunker. The Sheila pulls some keys out of her duds 'n' they both head inside. Now, how to separate that Stacy Sheila from her bloke? I go back to playing m’ didgeridoo 'n' think…

 

Present – Stacy – In the bunker

 

We enter the bunker, the lights are on and I shout, "First dibs on the shower."

 

For some reason Ben doesn’t' even fight me and says, "Go for it because I have a few things to do before I take a shower."

 

I offer, "If you help me with my shower, then I could help you do your things - sort of like killing two birds with one stone."

 

Ben doesn't even smile at me as he answers, "No thanks, I'd rather do it as I have planned."

 

I dump all my gear in the corner and start to take off my dirty clothes. Ben sees me and complains, "Stacy, you need to do that in the bathroom."

 

I pout but he threatens, "Either you do that in the bathroom or I'm going outside until you are finished."

 

I grab some clean clothes and mentally confirm that Grandmamma was right about men being difficult! I complain, "Well just be that way. You certainly aren't much fun anymore."

 

I head into the bathroom, strip off my clothes, jump into the shower, turn it on and FRACK, FRACK, FRACK! The shower is ice cold. I play around with the knobs but there's no hot water… now I understand why Ben didn't want to shower first. I turn off the water, lather up really good, begin to think about Ben and sort of let my hand travel down and I begin…

 

There's a loud knock on the door which scares the hell out of me and Ben yells, "Stacy, what the hell is taking so long. I need to shower too."

 

Frack! Ben ruined a perfectly good dream about – well about Ben. That's okay because there's still my kiss. And suddenly I come up with a devious surprise for him which I know no man that's alive and breathing can resist!

 

I slip into just my panties, put on just a bit of makeup and check myself in the mirror. I look awesome as I walk over open the door, get ready to say ‘hey Ben I want my kiss’ when I hear a thunk. FRACK, FRACK, FRACK! That hurts like hell. I begin jumping around and Ben starts to laugh…

 

Present – Ben – In the bunker

 

I'm going to teach Stacy a hard lesson about leaving herself unprotected since she left all her gear, including her rifle and pistol in the corner when she went into the shower. So I wait patiently… Okay, I actually smacked on the door to hurry her up.

 

I calmly sit in a chair and wait for her to open the door. This is going to work even better than I hoped for since she's only wearing her panties. I pull up the paintball gun, fire and it hits her right on the leg. I know from being shot with these that it hurts like hell and is going to leave a bruise. She begins hopping around and I begin to laugh. She yells, "What the frack did you do that for?"

 

I respond in my best trainer manner, "Stacy this is part of your training. You left all your gear including your weapons out here and went into the shower unprotected. Mistakes like that can cost you your life. Now get your ass back into the bathroom and get dressed."

 

She stands there defiantly and says, "Like hell I am! I wasn't born yesterday and I know if I go back in there without a paintball gun, you will just shoot me again when I come back out. Now you bring me that extra paintball gun and gear I see on the bench."

 

I comply and bring her the gear. She turns and slams the door behind her as I take a deep breath and readjust myself. Damn, she is hot as hell, but I can't let her looks influence me. I wait until I hear the shower again, slip a note under the door and prepare…

 

Present – Stacy – In the bunker

 

Damn Ben anyway! Not only is he right, it hurts like hell where he shot me with his paintball gun. I'm sure it's going to leave a bruise. That's okay because after I get my kiss from him, he's going to kiss this bruise and then kiss my ass. I hop back into the shower, wash off the paint and let the cold water run on my poor bruised leg. Yeah he's going to pay for this. Just wait because I'm going to shoot his ass off with my paintball gun.

 

I jump out of the shower, put on all my clothes and then I see a note under the door. I pick up the note and read:

 

Stacy today's training is going to be how to clear rooms. You've watched me do it now it's your turn to practice. I will be waiting somewhere in the bunker with my paintball gun and if I see you I will shoot you. Here are the rules of engagement: One hit anywhere is considered a kill; the "dead" person will have to come back to the bathroom, count to 100 and come out again. Also no physical contact is allowed during this game.

 

To make the game more interesting for you, if you kill me even once, you can immediately give me that kiss in bed. In addition, I will cooperate completely. However if you break these rules of engagement, then you forfeit the kiss you won earlier.

 

Yippee skippy! Even one hit on Ben and I get that kiss (and much more) in bed. This should be easy, I ignore the rest of the gear, grab my paintball gun, open the door and hear thunk, thunk thunk and FRACK, FRACK, FRACK. Ben was waiting for me, shot me three times (once in a breast, he's going to really pay for that when I shoot him in the crotch ten or fifteen times!) and it hurts like hell. I jump up and down and complain, "Frack you! That's wasn't fair!"

 

Ben laughs, "Stacy everything is fair in war. You've been killed, so get your ass back into the bathroom and count by ones to a hundred. You might also want to put on the rest of your paintball gear."

 

I flip him off and say, "You just wait; I'm going to make you pay for this." I slam the door start to count and put on the rest of the paintball gear. I'm going to teach his ass.

 

I reach 100, open the door carefully and at least this time I don't get shot. I move carefully into the room trying to remember everything Ben taught me about clearing rooms…

 

Present – Ben – In the bunker

 

Yeah this has Stacy distracted from that damn kiss she won. I'm still not sure how the hell she started that generator, but it had to be some sort of trick. She's pissed as hell and I know sooner or later today she's going to break the rules of engagement and that kiss that she tricked me into will be gone.

 

I knew the first time she would open the door and I could shoot her. But the second time, I needed to get her out of the bathroom so I could shower because she is right about me being pretty ripe. So I listen carefully this time and wait… I peek around the corner, see she's in the middle of the room, slip around the corner into the bathroom and then fire twice. My shots hit their mark and she screams as I slam the door, "Damn you Ben, you just shot me in the ass!"

 

I laugh through the door and yell, "No I shot you in the ass twice!" I secure the bathroom door - now it is time for my shower…

 

Present – Stacy – In the bunker

 

Damn him anyway, he did shoot me in the ass twice and it hurts like hell. This paintball gear doesn't have any protection on the backside and my poor backside stings like a hundred bees attacked it. But he's messed up now because he's in the bathroom and all I have to do is wait for him to open the door. Then I will shoot the hell out of him and after that he's going to kiss my ass boo-boo away!

 

It seems as if it's taking Ben forever to shower and I'm getting impatient. I get a better idea: I will unlock the bathroom door, sneak in while he's showering, shoot the hell out of him and then jump him! I walk over to the bathroom door, take the key off the wall, reach down and put the key in the lock. The bathroom door swings open and FRACK, FRACK, FRACK. Ben just shot me at point blank range. He laughs and taunts, "Now that's one way to get out of a single exit room."

 

I point my gun at him and he reminds me, "If you shoot me now you forfeit your kiss."

 

I flip him off and yell, "You bastard! I'm going to make you pay for that!" Then I storm into the bathroom to count again.

 

I decide two can play this game so I wait for what seems like forever for Ben to open the door but the bastard never comes. I nervously slip the door open, peek outside but Ben's not around. This time I keep my back to the corner where Ben slipped in behind me and slowly enter the room…

 

Present – Ben – In the bunker

 

I could keep Stacy in the bathroom all day long if I wanted. If she hadn’t made the mistake of trying to sneak into the bathroom, it would have been hard as hell for me to get out. Then I would have to use my secret weapon. But I blocked the door when I showered and knew that sooner or later she would try the door and I was waiting for her.

 

But this wasn't only a distraction from the kiss, this was also training so I needed to let her out of the bathroom. It was time to see how much she remembers and also how well she can control her anger. I hear the bathroom door squeak so I know she's out into the main room. I watch and wait from inside one of the big cabinets I cleared out. She does a really good job moving into the room, using the bathroom door to hide her when she first opened it (I need to have a talk with her and let her know that wood doors and most wood walls stop paintballs but do not stop bullets). Then she fucks up by not staying close to the wall and moves into the middle of the room and then she heads towards the corner. I wait until her back is too me, slip the barrel of the paintball gun through the crack in the door…

 

Present – Stacy – In the bunker

 

Well, I made it out of the bathroom this time and I have a score to settle with Ben. My ass is still sore from times he shot it! I can't wait to catch him and shoot him in the crotch. I move out into the middle of the room and – thunk, thunk, FRACK IT ALL! Ben shot me in the ass again, at least this time he was further away and it didn't hurt as much.

 

I spin around and look for Ben. I see a bunch of gear on the counter, then Ben opens the cabinet and instructs, "You messed up when you moved into the middle of the room. But the gear on the counter should have told you where I was. Remember your SA – Situational Awareness - and if anything has changed since last time it's probably significant."

 

I point my paintball gun at him and say, "My ass is sore as hell from you shooting it. I should shoot you in the crotch to see how you like it."

 

The smug bastard smiles at me and says, "Go for it! Just remember that's a violation of the rules of engagement and you will forfeit your kiss."

 

I stomp my foot and yell, "You bastard! I'm going to make you pay for this!" I head back to the bathroom to count but most of all to figure out a way to make him pay…

 

Present – Ben – In the bunker

 

This is working great! Stacy is mad as hell at me and is making mistakes all over the place. There's only one problem: How am I going to end this in a positive way because she's sure as hell is not getting a kiss from me…

 

I hump all the gear into the cabinet, unload all the gear from the adjacent cabinet on the counter, slip around the corner and wait to see if she takes the 'bait.'

 

The door squeaks again (she still hasn't learned to fix that). I wait a few seconds, slip my head around the corner and…

 

Present – Stacy – In the bunker

 

I carefully open the door using it as a shield, peek around the corner and scan the room. Immediately I notice the gear on the counter has changed and the door to the next cabinet is partially open. There's no way in hell he's pulling this trick on my again. I slowly slip along the edge of the room, just about reach the cabinet and…

 

Thunk, thunk! Frack he's shot me in the ass again. I spin around frantically and see he's leaning against the wall. I run towards him, aim my paintball gun at him but he waves his finger and warns, "Ah, ah, ahhh! That will cost you the kiss."

 

I stamp my foot in frustration and yell, "One kiss might not be worth this torture!"

 

He calmly replies, "Just be thankful this isn't a real gun or you'd be dead. Now let me give you a few tips. First, the bathroom door squeaks every time you open it, so fix that. Also if this was a real gun I could shoot you through the door. Next you did much better this last time with both your SA and the way you moved in the room but you forgot to SLLS. Instead, you became focused on one thing. Remember to…"

 

I dejectedly interrupt, "Yeah I know: Keep my head on a swivel. Damn you any way! So how long are we going to keep this torture going because my ass is really sore?"

 

Ben laughs, "Oh, another three or four hours. But I need the can right now."

 

I complain, "Oh great, I bet you're going to stink it up and then force me to stay in there when I count to one-hundred."

 

He laughs and says, "Hey you're catching on really fast." Then he heads into the bathroom.

 

Damn him anyway. Hey wait! He didn't call a truce or say we are taking a break. Finally he made a mistake and I am going to shoot the hell out of him and then kiss the hell out of him - in the bed!!!

 

I pull a chair over right in front of the door and wait. Finally the door squeaks. I take aim, the door opens a little and what the frack? This little can rolls towards me? Then frack, Frack FRACK!!!

 

Present – Ben – In the bunker

 

I really did need the can, but I also wanted to teach Stacy a new lesson. I was sure she would again take the bait and be waiting to shoot me when I opened the door. So I opened the door and chucked the homemade mini-flashbang I made into the room.

 

I goes off with a big bang and I hear, "Frack it all!"

 

I open the door to find Stacy is still setting in the chair. I stifle a laugh, pull up my paintball gun and fire twice.

 

She jumps up out the chair, stumbles around and I offer, "The bathroom's this way."

 

She yells, "If I could see you, I would kill you!"

 

I know that discretion is the better part of valor so I take off running and yell, "Don't forget to count to one-hundred." Where the hell did she learn how to swear like that?

 

Present – Stacy – In the bunker

 

Son of a bitch! I am not only tired of this game, I'm pissed as hell at Ben. Forget the damn kiss all I want now is revenge. My eyes finally clear enough to see the bathroom, but fuck that! I'm going after the bastard. I scan the room but I don't see Ben, so I creep around the corner and I don't fucking believe it…

 

He's sitting in a chair, with his back towards me. This has to be some sort of trap because Ben would never do this! He's too far away for my paintball gun, so I have to get closer to him.

 

I scan the room to make sure I don't see any traps… Slowly I slip toward him until I know I'm easily in range… I raise my paintball gun… I pull the trigger and it goes Pshhhhh.

 

Ben spins in the chair and shoots me three times. Then he laughs and explains, "Stacy you never checked to make sure your paintball gun was loaded."

 

I throw my gun at him and threaten, "You damn bastard! I'm going to kick your ass!"

 

He jumps up and runs towards the kitchen and I'm hot on his heels. We reach the kitchen, he stops, I tackle the hell out of him and we begin to wrestle on the floor. Ben easily gets on top of me, pins my hands and I yell, "Get off me you fucking bastard!"

 

Present – Ben – In the bunker

 

Well, I've had my fun! Stacy broke the rules of engagement by tackling me, now I’ll to try to defuse this situation. Stacy is fighting me like a wild woman and swearing up a storm. I calmly question her, "Stacy what does the final S stand for in SLLS?"

 

She twists and yells, "It stands for fucking Smell. Now get off me you bastard!"

 

I smile and ask, "So since you didn't notice the meal on the table before you tackled me, why don't you see if you can smell it?"

 

She stops, looks at me, smells, then her stomach growls and she says…

 

Present – Stacy – In the bunker

 

When I notice something smelling really good, my stomach growls telling me how hungry I am. I stop fighting Ben and ask, "You made lunch for us? When did you have the time?"

 

He gets off me and helps me up. I see the table I didn't notice before. Everything looks wonderful and Ben comments, "Well, you did spend an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom this morning."

 

As I give him an angry look, he hold up his hands and backpedals, "Just kidding. Now let's eat lunch and discuss today's training."

 

He helps me into my chair holds up a glass and says…

 

Present – Ben – In the bunker

 

I propose a toast, "To learning the right method of clearing a room, because the wrong way brings death."

 

Stacy clinks my glass, wiggles in her chair and says, "And if not death, at least a really sore ass."

 

I watch as she takes a drink and says, "Hey this is apple juice!"

 

I smile and answer, "You bet, because we're sure as hell not letting something like last night happen again. It was a huge tactical mistake for both of us to get drunk. Now I want you to analyze what you did wrong today."

 

She eats some food and I watch her think…

 

Present – Stacy – In the bunker

 

The food is really good and my anger for Ben melts as fast as my horniness grows. But damn it all I lost that kiss and I don't think I can trick Ben again. Perhaps, if I really impress him…

 

I answer, "Ben I think my biggest mistake was not controlling my anger because that clouded my judgment and caused me to make more mistakes."

 

Ben nods his head and says, "Yes you are correct. Remember in a combat situation you have to control all your emotions, especially fear and anger. Once you let either of them take over, you lose all objectivity. Now continue."

 

I wave my hand and dejectedly say, "Ben all I did after I got angry at you was make mistakes. Do I have to relive my humiliation?"

 

Ben smiles and comforts me, "Stacy, you're wrong as you did some very good things and even when angry you adapted to the situations at hand. For now we don't have to go over this, because I have a few weapons I saw that I want to look at and the horses need exercise and their stalls need to be cleaned."

 

I give him a dirty look and start, "You expect me to…"

 

Ben interrupts, "Hell yes I expect you to clean their stalls. You're the one that insisted we keep them."

 

I swear, "Dammit! Why is it that you're always right?"

 

Ben laughs, "Don't worry, I will stand watch and I might even help you some."

 

I get up from the table and begin to take the plates to the sink. Ben points his damn paintball gun at me and asks, "Stacy where's your weapon?"

 

I shake a fist at him and threaten, "If you shoot me again with that damn paintball gun I'm going to beat the shit out of you with these weapons."

 

Surprisingly he lowers the paintball gun, smiles and says, "Okay, you win this time. But just remember, you always need to have a weapon with you. You clean up the dishes while I get your real weapons and meet you in the horse stable."

 

Present – Ben – In the bunker

 

I know better than to push Stacy anymore today. She's had her fill of training, which is sad because she really needs more training. I remember back to the time Jack trained me: He sure as hell didn't cut me any slack, but then I'm not a woman. However, there is one woman that I know that doesn't need training… She was the perfect woman for me until…

 

I let my mind slip back… Back to when Jens and I were together: Damn now she was a hell of a woman and didn't need any training! I smile as I remember her pizza. Even better, I remember the meal where I fed her in Hawaii… dammit all why did my life have to get so fucked up! I should be living with her in some quiet little town surrounded by children. She loves and deserves children and that's something the bastard Hussein stole from me when I was tortured. I still need to get back to Asscrackistan and exact my revenge on him.

 

I realize thinking about Jens again is a huge mistake so I snap my mind out of the daydream, pick up Stacy's weapons, my AK and the weapons I want to look at. I then head to the stables.

 

Present – Stacy – In the bunker

 

Ben shows up with my guns. But he’s really sad right now – so what the heck happened to him since he was only gone a couple of minutes?

 

I try to cheer him up, "Hey Ben you want to see the bruises on my ass where you shot me?"

 

He glares at me, hands me my guns and says, "No thanks Stacy."

 

I tease, "Well at least I have a reason for being a sore ass, what's your excuse?"

 

He sounds dejected and mutters, "Women!"

 

I'm not sure what the heck I did to him, but I might have a way to cheer him up. I say, "Ben, since I'm going to get all hot and sweaty cleaning out the stalls, I'm going to go change clothes."

 

He just waves his hand and says, "Whatever."

 

I run to the main room, find my pack and dump everything on the floor. Yeah Ben will scold me for it but I will deal with that later. I look at my Guess jeans and know just what I need to do. But I hate the fact I will be destroying a $150.00 pair of jeans. Then I just do it! I find the top I want, put the tactical vest over it, check myself in the bathroom mirror and decide that if this doesn't cheer Ben up then he's D-E-A-D!

 

I make sure to grab my rifle and head back to the stables. I can't wait for Ben to see me.

 

I walk into the stables but Ben already has the door open. I don't see him or Bo so they must be outside. I put a lead on Patches and slowly lead her outside…

 

Present – Ben – In the bunker

 

Leading Patches, Stacy saunters out of the stables wearing – well practically nothing! She has on the shortest Daisy Dukes I have ever seen and the tiniest jog bra under her tactical vest. It sure doesn't cover much! She reminds me of the hot women at some of the SHOT (Shooting, Hunting and Outdoors Trade show) shows I attended in the past, except with fewer clothes and an even hotter body.

 

Bo nickers and nods his head. I give him a dirty look and whisper, "Cut it out or I will start calling you Knacker."

 

Then the damn horse grabs my hat! As I step toward him, he moves away with it. I wave my hand and complain, "Okay, you go ahead and keep the fucking hat. I'd sure like to see you try to wear it."

 

I continue to SLLS, making sure not to linger on Stacy (which is hard as hell especially when she bends over multiple times to pick up things on the ground) and go back to inspecting this new rifle and trying to figure out if I can somehow fit this into my arsenal. Bo walks over by Stacy and I wonder what sort of trouble he's trying to cook up now…

 

Present – Stacy – In the bunker

 

I can tell my outfit has an effect on Ben, but it's not as dramatic as I hoped. Oh his eyes about pop out of his head when he first sees me, then he ignores me and has some sort of fight with Bo. But now he's pissed again. So I begin to groom Patches, making sure to bend over and pick up things on the ground with my ass pointed right at Ben.

 

When Bo walks over near me, I see he has Ben's hat and I stifle a laugh. Those two have a strange and wonderful relationship and I'm not entirely sure which one is strange and which one is wonderful. He shakes his head at me, drops the hat and I figure he wants me to take the hat to Ben.

 

I bend over, pick up the hat, strut to Ben with a lot of sway and purr, "I've got your hat."

 

Ben continues messing with a new rifle, he’s SLLSing and barely even notices me. He absently takes the hat and says, "Thanks Stacy."

 

Okay this isn't working so it’s time for a different attack. I gush, "Ben that's the most beautiful rifle I've ever seen. What is it?"

 

That gets his attention! He grins at me and explains, "Stacy, this rifle is a Winchester model ninety-four Centennial '66. Ever since I saw one when I was a boy I dreamed about owning one. It was released in 1966 to commemorate one-hundred years of the model ninety-four rifle. Most of them were snatched up by collectors and never fired, but this one has been used and that makes it even more special."

 

I touch it and say, "Is this center part of the rifle brass?"

 

Ben grins and says, "Hell no that's real twenty-four caret gold plating."

 

I question, "So what are you doing with it?"

 

Ben starts to answer when Bo and Patches whinny. Ben shoves me down to the ground, pulls the rifle up to his shoulder and shouts, "Freeze or your dead!"

 

 

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