Chapter 47

Walker Chapter 47

Copyright 2012 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia

 

Flashback – Major M – Command and Control

 

Well, this one wasn't as difficult for me to explain as it was going to be for the bastard 'President' of that country. There was a huge explosion, so large at first we were sure they fucked up and detonated the warhead. But the equipment aboard the bird showed a radiation level which didn't indicate a nuclear blast. However the area was going to be a 'hot zone' for the next millennium.

 

Seeing the Sgts. jeep leave made me sure they weren't responsible this time. This was a really good thing otherwise I'd have to explain to the NRC how they rendered a good sized portion of a foreign country uninhabitable! And the NRC was hell to deal with.

 

With the warhead gone, I asked my techs, "Let's see if we can find the Sgts. jeep."

 

They began the search. I decided to catch some shuteye and went to my office. I no sooner fallen asleep than a tech came in and woke me up. I threatened, "This had better be a fucking emergency."

 

He answered, "Sir we've found what's left of the Sgts. jeep."

 

I jumped up and said, "What the fuck." I ran into a very somber control room and saw the image of their burning jeep on the screen. Shit! I guessed Sgt. Blaine's luck finally ran out and I needed to call the General…

 

Flashback – Mira and Ira – Undisclosed location

 

I caressed the ground and Ira yelled, "Mira, I think the warhead the Israeli's discovered was detonated."

 

I was concerned because if she was accurate, we would be too close to the blast zone and any hope of having healthy children with my Sgt. would be dashed. I crawled toward her motorcycle, acquired her Geiger counter and was relieved when it showed an only an moderately increased radiation level.  A level which might not hinder my future maternal hopes.

 

I replied, "Ira, the blast was not nuclear. However we can not remain in this vicinity for a great length of time."

 

Ira rose and stated, "Mira, perhaps we can use components from both decimated motorcycles to construct one functional motorcycle."

 

We worked like hades, used the back half of Ira's motorcycle, the front suspension of my motorcycle, a fender as a front wheel skid and constructed a workable sand ski.

 

We sped away from the site and I yelled to Ira, "I will make those harlequins compensate for this."

 

The sand ski lurched and deposited us on the firmament after which Ira stated, "Mira first we must find a good location at which to receive additional commodities then we will both make those harlequins compensate us."

 

Flashback – Jack – Undisclosed location

 

I drove the damn truck. Banzai was still so pissed at me (and depressed) he wouldn't even talk. I tried to start a conversation with, "Well that explosion was sure a good one."

 

Banzai waved his hand, "Yeah it wasn't bad."

 

I stated, "Not bad hell! I thought you'd set off the warhead. Did you notify the Major?"

 

Banzai replied, "Fuck you and double fuck the Major. I'm going to sleep." He curled up and went to sleep which was fine with me. Perhaps he'd sleep it off and act better when he woke up.

 

Yeah Banzai was pissed. Hey it wasn't my fault! That damn sniper shot the engine in his GAZ, I kept driving it to escape but finally it seized up. I was impressed as hell because I got another 10 klicks out of it before it died.

 

Banzai mourned over the damn GAZ while he barely noticed the departure of any of his ex-girlfriends (except for possibly the General's underage daughter, I could tell he still had the hots for her). I thought he was going to stay with the damn GAZ, sort of like being buried with it. Finally he gritted his teeth and barked orders like a fucking DI. We loaded all the gear into this truck, Banzai actually kissed the GAZ on the hood and talked to it right before he threw a WP grenade into it and yelled, "Jack you're driving from now on."

 

I had to admit, once I figured out how Banzai motivated his GAZ, it was much more fun to drive than this lumbering truck. I wasn't sure we would be able to outrun any of the Lion of Babylon tanks in this slow piece of shit and wondered how we could continue our mission.

 

Flashback – Ben – Undisclosed location

 

I missed the hell out of my GAZ. I should have known better than to let Jack drive her. It was his fault she was killed, but now she was gone like all the other women in my life and it was time to get the hell out of this fucking desert and proceed to Russia. I hoped I could find another GAZ there to replace my dearly departed one.

 

But I wasn't just upset about the GAZ, something else bothered me. It was that damn sniper I almost ran over. They were dressed all in black (even over their faces), had on a flowing black robe but something looked familiar about their – ass!

 

I yelled, "Son of a bitch!"

 

Jack swerved the truck and barked, "You scared the hell out of me, I thought you were sleeping."

 

I answered, "No I was thinking and didn't want to be bothered by your stupid comments."

 

Jack snapped, "Well if you're this fucking crabby I wish you would go to sleep."

 

I said, "Jack forget about it, I figured out who those fucking snipers are."

 

Jack sarcastically asked, "And just how the hell did you do that. They were totally covered in black."

 

I blurted out , "I recognized her ass!"

 

Flashback – Jack – Undisclosed location

 

What the hell has happened to Banzai, has he gone queer on me! I shout, "What the hell do you mean? Don't tell me your switching sides."

 

Banzai gave me a dirty look and explained, "Hell no I'm not going queer! I recognized her ass! That was Mira shooting at you!"

 

I thought about his revelation and surmised, "Then that had to be Ira that chased me on the motorcycle."

 

Banzai confirmed, "Yeah that would have been Ira."

 

I remembered my interactions with Mira at the spook school and worried, "I bet what we did to them has both of them really pissed off at us."

 

Banzai said, "Jack we disabled both their motorcycles, we can't leave them alone in the desert to die."

 

I argued, "Banzai, there's no way those two would ever die in a desert and we're sure as hell not going back for them, not until they calm down."

 

Banzai admitted, "Yeah you're right, now is probably not the best time to approach them." He slapped his head and yelled, "Shit, shit, shit!"

 

I questioned, "What the hell is wrong now?"

 

Flashback – Ben – Undisclosed location

 

I told Jack, "I promised the Major if we ever encountered Mira or Ira again I would let him know ASAP."

 

Jack exploded, "You let the Major talk you into a promise. What the hell was wrong with you!"

 

I countered, "Jack I figured it was safe because I didn't think we would ever see them again."

 

He yelled, "Well you were sure thinking out of your ass on that one. I hope you didn't promise him anything else."

 

I lied, "No I can't think of anything else."

 

He calmed some and began to ask, "Banzai, I don't suppose…"

 

I cut him off, "Jack you know better than to even ask that. Now where's the damn equipment. I need to send a report to the Major."

 

Jack teased, "Well tell him he can suck me!"

 

Flashback – Jack – Undisclosed location

 

Dammit all! Banzai and his damned sense for never breaking a promise. He needed to learn there were times to break your promises and talking to the brass was certainly a good time to start. Not only that, he tried to lie to me. He had made the Major more promises - I just hope they weren't major promises.

 

I thought to myself, there had to be a way to spin this around in our favor. Banzai got ready to send the message and I cautioned, "Wait a minute and let's think about what you're going to say."

 

Banzai said, "Jack it's just the truth: How we destroyed the warhead and how Mira and Ira are after us."

 

I grinned at him and asked, "So how about if we change the way we say things but still tell the Major about Mira and Ira. Would that satisfy your crazy compulsion for never breaking a promise?"

 

He looked at me, thought for a few seconds then grinned and replied, "Jack all I promised to do was tell him if we even encountered Mira or Ira again. But I can tell from the look on your face you've come up with a plan."

 

I nodded my head, "I sure as hell did and if it works right, it's adios to this fucking desert."

 

Banzai grinned, "And hello Mother Russia!"

 

Flashback – Ira and Mira – Undisclosed location

 

My sister Mira was finally properly motivated again. Her close encounter with death at the hands of the harlequin had conveyed her rearward to her senses. We acquired a safe respite in a ravine and awaited an airdrop of much needed commodities. The earliest delivery would not occur until this night.

 

Mira traversed to and fro across the sand and complained, "Those harlequins must be terminated at all costs."

 

I remained on my posterior, joy-overed with her change in attitude and questioned, "Mira did the one harlequin almost exterminate you?"

 

My question added more than sufficient fuel to her antiquated Plymouth automobile (Fury) and she shouted, "I will dispatch those harlequins to hades!"

 

My sister Ira incorrectly assumed I was angry because of my proximity to death. Her assumption was more agreeable than the truth. I was still enraged because of my exposure to the radiation. When I have my Sgts. progeny, I would like them to have only the appropriate number of appendages. I will make those harlequins compensate for this! My only desire is that I might be able to observe their visages prior to terminating their miserable, miniscule lives.

 

Flashback – Major M – Command and Control

 

I had decided to take this out of protocol message in private just in case my Sgts. had somehow been responsible for destroying the warhead.

 

At first I worried when I saw detailed close-up pictures of the warhead. Then I read the report and evaluated what the fuck to do now: How fast can I do what is needed to be done and just how much this really sucked! In fact it sucked so bad I needed to talk with some friends of mine to see if there was some way to fix this major SNAFU. This was the last fucking thing I needed.

 

I replied, "Message received, try to proceed to next viable target and we will see about exfiltration."

 

Flashback – Jack – Undisclosed location

 

Once again I got Banzai out of a jam! I came up with a hell of a story (so good I should write fiction for a living) for the Major. We told him that Mira and Ira set a trap at the warhead hoping to kill us. When the warhead was destroyed, we barely escaped but might have a case of radiation poisoning and that Mira and Ira have troops everywhere looking for us.

 

I leaned back while Banzai sent the message and dreamed of Russia, vodka, Russian women, more vodka and more Russian women…

 

I heard a beep, Banzai smiled at the reply and stated, "Jack that was one of your better lies and I think the Major bought it."

 

I asked, "So when are we getting the hell out of here?"

 

Banzai replied, "Well Jack that's still the big question. The Major ordered us to proceed to the next viable target and that he will see about exfiltration."

 

I saw Russia, the vodka and especially the Russian women disappear and complained, "What the fuck! With what we sent he should get us out of here like yesterday."

 

Banzai got that scary look on his face and said, "I've been thinking about this and I'm not sure I like the conclusion I've come up with. Let me run it by you and see what you think."

 

He details his thoughts and I swear, "You're right or my name's not Jack! That fucking bastard, if you don't kill him I will!"

 

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