Chapter 51

Walker Chapter 51

Copyright 2011 and 2012 Banzai Ben and Amazing Anastasia


Author's notes:

You might enjoy and understand this chapter better if you first take a look at a couple videos


Present – Liz – In transit to psych hospital


I question, "Thom, do you really think Matt and Jim did something they weren't supposed to do because last time I met them they seemed pretty stable to me."


Thom (who is driving almost as crazy as Jens) replies, "Liz, you really have been out of the loop. Jim's wife screwed him over when she divorced him and he hasn't been the same since. Shit, he almost started a war at DIA."


I shake my head, "Damn, I'm gone for a few days and everything is all fucked up. So what did she do that was so bad?"


He answers, "Liz you're a woman and you know how it goes. The courts favor the woman and they get everything in the divorce except the bills. From what I heard she even took his guns and pawned them. Damn mercenary women!


I reply, "Thom, I sort of resent that…"


He interrupts, "Liz, don't go getting all women's lib on me, you know it's true almost all the time."


I think about it and finally conclude I have to agree with him - even though I don't like it…


Present – Thom – In transit to psych hospital


I'm pissed off and I'm going to kick some ass! I knew it was a mistake to send Matt and Jim on this mission because they aren't TSIFFTS. But dammit, they were the only bodies I had available. It would have been fine if Linus hadn’t become sick. Yeah, this whole mess is all Maria's fault and someway I'm going to make her pay for this! But I have to do it in a way that won't get Linus too upset because he could kick my ass - or even worse leave the team.


The conversation with Liz doesn't help, but it does reinforce my belief that getting married is a big mistake. I thought I had shut her up but then she asks, "Thom, what's your plan of action when we get to the psych hospital?"


Damn that's the 64 million dollar question! I truthfully answer, "Liz, I have no idea what the hell is going on at the damn loony bin so I guess we're just going to play it by ear."


She smiles and adds another question, "So do you have an extra handgun?"


Yeah, I've always liked Liz's style – shoot first and then shoot again. I reach down to my ankle holster and hand her a snub nose revolver. She tucks it into her purse as I order, "Now don't do something crazy."


She laughs and teases, "Thom I thought that was your job."


I think about it and I guess I have to agree with her, even though I don't like it…


Present – Jens


What the frack! I hear some weird sounding melodic bells then music and weird sounding lyrics start:

" Dum, dum, dum, honey what have you done
Dum, dum, dum, it's the sound of my gun
Dum, dum, dum, honey what have you done
Dum, dum, dum, it's the sound, it's the sound..."


And I see Steven Tyler and Aerosmith? What the frack!


He continues:

"Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah...."


What the frack is this song?


Then he begins to sing:

Jenny's got a gun
Jenny's got a gun
Her whole world's come undone
From lookin' straight at the sun
What did her Ben do
What did he put her through

They say when Jenny was arrested
They found him with a bullet in his brain
But man, Ben had it comin'
Now that Jennys' got a gun
She ain't never gonna be the same


Jenny's got a gun
Jenny's got a gun
Her dog day's just begun
Now everybody is on the run
Tell me now it's untrue
What did her Ben do?


Wait this isn't right, this is supposed to be Janie's Got A Gun! And no one, not even that sleaze bag womanizer Steven Tyler can call me Jenny! I start running towards the stage to kick his ass and then things get really strange…

Present – Masha – At St. Josephs Central Hospital


I seriously wonder about the doctors in this country. I get to the hospital and determine they confined Linus in isolation because they cannot diagnose what is wrong with him.


 When I arrive at the isolation area I ask the nurse, "Would it be possible if I could see him."


She responds, "Sorry, but only family members are allowed to visit."


I give her a concerned look, hold up my right hand, show her my wedding ring and lie, "Please ma'am Linus is my husband."


She questions, "Then why is your ring on the right hand?"


I impatiently explain, "I am Orthodox and we use the right hand for our wedding rings."


She gives me a dirty look and snidely responds, "Well in America that means you're divorced. I will go see if your so called husband wants to see you."


I wait and ponder on the nature of American females, so many of them act like sukas…


Present – Linus – At St. Josephs Central Hospital


God I am so sick! At least my stomach is empty so I've stopped puking and shitting. But the cramps are hell and feel like they're ripping my guts out. They tried giving me some pills, but I puked those right back up! Then they tried several injections but nothing has worked. Now they've put me in isolation and everyone wears gowns and masks when they come in - even my bitchy as hell nurse.


I watch her gown up by the door then she comes in the room glares at me and says, "Someone who says she's your wife is here to see you."


I get excited because I think that Maria has come to help me, so I lie, "Well she is certainly my wife so send her right in."


She takes her sweet time taking off the isolation gear and heads to get Maria…


However I get a big surprise because it isn't Maria that comes into my room, it the crabby-assed nurse and Masha.


Masha winks at me and says, "Honey you are so sick are they taking good care of you?"


I reply, "Not really they don't know what's wrong with me."


Masha leans to kiss me and the nurse interrupts, "Sorry, but he's in isolation so you can't kiss him."


I'm shocked at what Masha does next…


Present – Matt and Jim – At the psych hospital


We finally arrive with the doctor at the psych hospital, grab our bags, walk inside and hear over the intercom, "Code blue room three-o-two."


The doctor looks at me and explains, "Damn people don't normally code in a psychiatric hospital. I wonder if they're setup for it. I've got my bag and have done hundreds of codes so let's see if I can help."


We race to the elevator, go up to the third floor and see all hell has broken loose. I look at Jim and gripe, "Jim, I don't like this."


We rush into the room and see a body on the floor covered in with a sheet! And they are working like crazy on someone else! The doctor offers "I'm a trauma doctor, what's going on and can I help?"


One of the nurses says, "Thank God you're here! All the professional staff are psychologists and they don't know what they're doing. One person is already dead and this person isn't breathing."


He orders, "Move the hell out of my way, get me a crash cart and let me take over!"


She admits in a panic, "We don't have a crash cart!"


The doctor looks at Jim and orders, "Head back to the car and bring in the portable defibrillator unit, it looks like a big briefcase."


Jim takes off, everyone moves out of the way and… fuck me they're working on Jens!


Present – Jens


The guitar player breaks into a long solo, I look and he's got short hair - it's fricken BEN! Finally I'm going to catch his ass and start running towards the stage as pansy-assed Tyler sings:


"Ben run away, run away from the pain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Ben run away, run away from the pain
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."


Ben drops his guitar and takes off running. As I jump up on the stage, Steven Tyler pulls a gun on me… So I kick his ass, take the gun away from him and start chasing Ben.


As I run, fricken Tyler starts to sing a new and insulting as hell song:


"(That) (that) Dude looks like a lady
(That) (that) Dude looks like a lady…"


I yell over my shoulder, "Keep it up Tyler and I'll put my foot so far up your rear you'll be spitting shoe leather for a week."


And for once I run faster and I'm gaining on Ben!!!


Present – Jack


Well, I'm thankful they didn't take Ivan away from me - I'm sitting at the table in an interrogation room with Ivan making paper airplanes for him as I promised. He's throwing them and having a great time but I can't enjoy it because I wonder why the hell I'm here.


He throws the next one, it does a perfect circle, hits the floor and an agent walks in and steps on it. Ivan says, "Very bad man." Again I bite my tongue! He says, "Excuse me, Jack Reynolds we need to talk. Now will your son be a bother…"


I interrupt and threaten, "Listen, I don't know why you've detained me and my son, but if you try to take him away from me it's going to be painful."


He smiles at me, and answers, "Mr. Reynolds we just need to talk to you is all."


He pulls up a chair, sits down and we 'have a talk'. I can't fucking believe what he's asking me about! No it's not about what happened at the DC airport and thank God it's not about my lovely wife Masha (I was really worried they finally figured out she was or is some sort of spy).


He asks, "Mr. Reynolds, we've been looking over your DD two-fourteen1 and there seems to be some unexplainable gaps. We were hoping you could fill us in on where you were during some of these times especially concerning two-thousand-four. There is no record at all of where you were."


1 DD 214 a document of the United States Department of Defense, issued upon a military service member's retirement, separation or discharge from active-duty military.


I mentally confirmed it was damn straight there are some gaps in my military record - and for a damn good reason: What I was doing was classified. And there's no way in hell I'm going to tell you where I was in 2004. No Siree! Revealing the time Banzai and I spent in the damn fucking desert and then in Russia the bastard would probably lock me up and throw away the key.


So, as a primary response I lie, "To be truthful I'm getting so damn old I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached. So sorry, but I don't remember where I was in two-thousand-four. Don't you have better and more important things to do than bother war veterans?"


He shakes his head and answers, "Sorry Mr. Reynolds I guess you haven't heard. All returning veterans who have seen combat duty are considered possible terrorist threats. This is just a routine interview to assess your threat level. Now just a few more questions and you and your son can leave. Are you a member of any paramilitary groups?"


I think about Jens not so little team. It's more military than paramilitary and again I lie my ass off, "Listen, I served our country and I'm damn proud of it but my fighting days are over. I just want to live my life with my wife and boy." I wanted to add – and have the government leave me the hell alone.


He continues, "What are your current feelings towards the US government?"


I want to say they've become too much like Nazi Germany and you're one of the jack-booted SS thugs, but I smile and deceive, "I really don't think much about politics anymore."


He smiles, "Just one more question, have you had any recent contact with Bennie Blaine?"


I shake my head and honestly reply, "No I haven't seen him in ages."


Homeland Security finally 'lets me go' again repeating the stern warning that they keep their eyes on people like me because we are potential terrorists. Since when did being an active duty veteran make you a 'potential terrorist?'


I am thankful as hell when we get outside and quickly hail a cab to get the hell out of this area before they decide to grill me some more. I'm thankful as hell Masha wasn't with me or they might have questioned her. Now I can’t help but wonder where the hell is she?


Present – Linus – At St. Josephs Central Hospital


I am stunned! In the blink of an eye Masha takes out the bitchy nurse and lets her slowly down to the floor. Then she takes a little bottle out of her purse, puts two drops in my water cup and orders, "Drink this, it will make you better."


I am still stunned, but drink it and finally start, "Masha what the hell…"


She shushes me, "Linus, not now we have work to do." She takes another bottle out of her purse pours a little bit of the fluid into the unconscious nurse's mouth and says, "Linus in thirty minutes you will be fine. The hospital will want to keep you for observation but you will sign yourself out AMA2."


2 AMA – Against Medical Advice


I question, "What about the nurse?"


She says, "Do not worry, she will not remember anything that's happened."


Masha walks to the door and loudly yells, "Help! We need help in here! The nurse has slipped and fallen."


Present – Masha – At St. Josephs Central Hospital


I was incredibly angry at myself! I forgot that I promised to meet Jack and Vanya at the airport and need to rectify the situation. However the suka nurse was intent on delaying me so I was forced once again to slip the bonds of my soccer mother role and fall back on my training.


Then I take care of Linus (I know he will have many questions later which I must answer) and give the nurse a little tool that will make her forget what I did. I want to give her the other tool to make her suffer, but then I would have to stay to administer the antidote and time is of the essence.


When I call for assistance the other nurses come to the door, see their compatriot on the floor and state, "Let us gown up and we will be right in to help."


Linus loudly announces, "You know, I think it was something I ate because I'm feeling much better now."


I fight back a laugh because he is correct since it was something he ate and something his compatriot did it to him.


When the other nurses rush in, Linus is already up out of bed getting dressed and one demands, "Where do you think you're going."


He states, "I feel fine and I'm leaving."


Another comes over and threatens, "Oh no you're not."


He laughs, "Just try to keep me here. Come on Masha we're leaving."


As we walk out of the room, the nurse complains, "I'm going to call security."


Linus shouts, "Go ahead, those mall cops can't keep me here anyway."


We make it outside just as security comes up and says, "Sorry sir, you can't leave."


Linus stands tall and says, "Well I was a Navy Seal so it's going to take a hell of a lot more people than you to keep me here. Now get out of my way before I kick your ass."


When the security guard moves aside, we jump into a taxi and Linus orders us to the psychiatric hospital. I countermand, "Linus, I need to get back to the airport because I am supposed to meet Jack and Vanya."


He looks at me and says…


Present – Linus – Headed back to DIA


Masha looks frantic about getting to the airport and I do owe her for 'healing' me but I wonder like hell what made me sick in the first place. So I order, "Driver take us to DIA."


He asks, "East or West terminal?"


I answer, "The private jet area."


Then I turn to Masha and start the questions, "Okay Masha what the hell is going on?"


She smiles weakly and explains, "Linus, your compatriot removed a practical joke fluid from my purse, to inflict discomfort on Thom. Thom was affected but she and you accidently ingested some of the fluid."


I ask for more information, "My compatriot? You mean Maria? And is she sick too? Did you give her the antidote?"


She continues the smile and answers, "Yes Linus. I mean Maria and no not yet, you were more mission critical at the time."


I order, "Driver step on it."


He complains, "No way buddy, I'm not getting a ticket for anybody!"


I turn back to Masha to question her some more and see she's crying. Damn I hate crying women…


Present Yasmeen and Zarika – 'Ben's tent'



The old Papa Smurf man who is watching us gets distracted by a phone call and tells us to follow him. Zarika starts to follow but I grab her arm, point and ask, "Zarika what do you see?"


She stops and says, "Yasmeen that's the biggest tent I've ever seen."


I smile and say, "Yes, it must belong to our husband Ben and it is our wedding tent3. Look at how it is white and gleams in the sun."


3 The roof on DIA is a white tent material



For once I believe Yasmeen is right. I see the largest tent I have ever seen. It is so white it hurts my eyes to look at it.


I tell Yasmeen, "It must have been a mistake for the car driver to forget us and Ben will punish him for it. I think it would be fun if we walked over to the tent and surprised our husband."


Yasmeen agrees, "Yes it will be a big surprise."


So we start walking toward our wedding tent…


Present – Byron – C130 landed at DIA


Damn! I lose the girls, then I try to put myself in their place. It must work, because the minute I do, I see the tent roof of DIA's main terminal building and I know where they headed. If they make it inside, there's no telling how much trouble they will cause. I need to find them and then give them to Jennifer before I lose my temper and take a switch to them…


Present – Mira – At the fertility clinic


Alexi and I sit in the director's office and hear the joy full news, "Ms. Sedankina, you are in excellent shape and having babies should be no issue for you. When would you like to start?"


I look at Alexi, squeeze his hand and reply, "As soon as is possible."


She smiles and then gives me many pills, creams and injections which I must use to prepare my body. It will force an overabundant production of female procreation components, which this lab will then harvest and combine with my Ben's male procreation components to produce many embryos.


Alexi questions, "So will you immediately implant the embryos?"


The director informs us, "No first Ms. Sedankina will have to undergo different hormone therapy to prepare her body for pregnancy. By the way Ms. Sedankina you should know that sometimes all these hormones can cause changes in behavior."


I smile at her, "Thank you for the warning however I will control my emotions."


I look at Alexi and announce, "If you do not have any further questions we need to depart for Ms. Donaldson's cabin."


He smiles at me and says, "Thank you my sister for including me, however I do not have further questions."


We head outside and the limousine is waiting for us. He opens the door for us, we enter and I say, "Do you know the way to Ms. Donaldson's cabin."


The driver answers, "Yes miss, however there have been some problems and your group hasn't left yet for the cabin."


I query, "Do you have any details?"


He replies, "No miss, I was asked to take you back to the airport so that everyone can drive to her cabin together."


Alexi says, "I wonder what type of problems they experienced? I wager it has something to do with those two annoying female children."


I ponder his supposition and scold myself for bringing them with us since it would have been easy to leave them. But it was the wish of my Ben and I would do anything for him…


Present – Mira's mystery man


I've always had one wish and it was a wish not even all my money could buy. Well not until possibly now. As I continue to think about it, I realize it's perfectly diabolical but also incredibly dangerous. I can't make up my mind so I pull out my lucky silver dollar and say, "Heads is yes and tails is no."


I flip it, catch it, look at it and smile…


Present – Jens


For once I outrun Ben and catch him! I run up behind him, kick his back foot so he trips and falls to the floor. He tries to get up but I aim the gun and say, "Ben you runaway bastard! I'm tired of chasing your sexy ass all over the world! Now are you going to marry me or will you suffer the consequences?"


He starts to reply as I hear… "Clear???"