Chapter 16

Wanderer Chapter 16

 

Flashback – Ben – Day four, week one of spook school

 

Fuck this shit! Mira was reaching for her katana and Major M just placed his hand on his sidearm! I couldn't let him draw his pistol or Mira draw her katana! I ran up, placed my hand on his and said, "Major M please do not draw your pistol or you will be shot." Then I ordered, "Mira, take your hand off your katana."

 

I continued, "Jack and Mira, this is my fault and my battle to fight. Both of you will cease and desist! Drop back and give the Major and me room to talk about things."

 

Mira replied, "L.Cpl. Blaine, I will honor your order unless the Major attempts to damage you. Then this with become an issue between him and my katana."

 

Jack stepped close to me and whispered, "Watch yourself Banzai because he's pissed as hell since you almost killed him."

 

They fell back so I looked at the Major and stated, "Sir! I think you and I need to take a walk."

 

Flashback – Major M – Day four, week one of spook school

 

I asked, "Are you trying to give me an order L.Cpl.?"

 

He smiled at me and answered, "No Sir, I was just making a suggestion that we continue the conversation which you chose to interrupt."

 

I was impressed with the L.Cpl’s natural leadership. At first I thought he was subservient to the Sgt. Because of what the records said, but somewhere that had changed and now the Sgt. and more importantly Ms. Sedankina followed his orders. I also understood he meant to make an issue out of me striking him first without warning or provocation. Damn, he's one smart bastard.

 

I replied, "That sounds like a good suggestion L.Cpl. Tell me, what did you mean when you earlier said, 'Major M please do not draw your pistol or you will be shot'?" I expected he would try to side step giving me an answer.

 

However, he replied, "Sir! My two friends found and restrained your aide and currently have their rifles trained on you. If you had drawn your weapon they would have fired, just as your aide would have fired on me if he had the opportunity."

 

Well that explained what happened to my aide! But he was damn good - too good to be caught. I was pissed they took out my aide and had rifles trained on me, but I was impressed as hell that a mere L.Cpl. could command such dedication in others. I decided to pursue this topic some more so I inquired "My aide is a Marine and a damn good one. Are you telling me your 'friends' were able to get the jump on him without injuring him?"

 

L.Cpl. Blaine laughed, "Sir! No offense meant: Yes he is a Marine and he is very good, but he is not Recon and he is also not injured – other than his pride."

 

I rubbed my throbbing neck and croaked, "I wished I could say the same."

 

He looked at the ground and answered, "Sir! I owe you an apology for my actions earlier, whatever they were, since they were entirely out of line. And I fully expect, and look forward to, whatever punishment you deem necessary. I just ask you to confine your punishment to me because Sgt. Reynolds and Mira had nothing to do with my actions."

 

I pondered what he said, mainly the 'whatever they were'. I couldn't believe he did not know or remember what he did. So I continued, "L.Cpl., are you telling me you don't remember what you did during the fight?"

 

He was obviously very distraught but had the balls to declare, "Sir! There are some things I would love to tell you, but what I say must be totally off the record and I further ask you to promise me that what I say will never be used against me."

 

I looked at him and questioned, "You would trust me with this information without even really knowing anything about me?"

 

He looked me in the eyes and answered, "Sir! I can tell that even though you did several things which I consider dishonorable, you are mostly a man of honor. So yes I believe I can trust you especially if you understand the consequences of lying to me."

 

I decided to push this issue just a bit and asked, "And what would those consequences be?"

 

I saw what looked to be a tear in the corner of one of his eyes and he answered, "Sir! I love the Marines. I love being a Marine and I love everything about the Marines – being a Marine is my whole life! The things I want to tell you, if anyone else found out, would guarantee I would no longer be a Marine and that would end my life. If that happened, then my honor would force me to take retribution."

 

Yes I understood! If I used what he told me to have him drummed out of the Corps, I was signing my death certificate. I replied, "L.Cpl. let's walk a while longer while I consider what you've just said."

 

We walked and I observed the L.Cpl. from the corner of my eye. He continuously scanned his environment and it appeared nothing escaped his senses. I changed the subject, "It's a nice day for a walk, wouldn't you say?"

 

He smiled and replied, "Yes this reminds me of being back in the Colorado Mountains. Of course the trees are different here because in Colorado we only had scrub oak, elms, aspens and evergreens. Here there are all these beautiful hardwood trees. But the squirrels are always the same - just look at those two playing over there."

 

I hadn't noticed them until he pointed, and even then I barely saw them. I inquired, "How far away would you say those squirrels are?"

 

He laughed, "Still testing me? Those squirrels are two-hundred-fifty-two meters away - a very easy shot."

 

I continued, "So did you go squirrel hunting often when you were younger?"

 

He grinned at me and started with, "This is totally off the record." Then he began to tell me this story, a really fantastic and equally upsetting story, about how his dad sent him squirrel hunting with three .22 rounds. The bastard told him he was going to eat two squirrels, his mother would eat one squirrel and if the L.Cpl. wanted to eat, he'd better figure out a way to kill more than one squirrel per shot. He continued and explained how he snuck up on rabbits and a deer and how he trapped two of the squirrels and shot two others. I don't know if he got carried away or what, but when he told me his dad's reaction to coming back with four squirrels and only using two rounds,  I wanted to kick that bastard's ass! No wonder the L.Cpl. was a bit maladjusted with a bastard father like that.

 

I knew I had heard enough, probably more than I needed to hear. Anything more and I wouldn't be able to claim plausible deniability.  I realized that Mother Green1 had created a perfect killing machine from a messed up abused boy; a very good thing for us and a very bad thing for everyone else. And I realized that the Corps was the perfect place for him and also he was perfect for the missions I had in mind. Now I just needed to figure out a way to help both of us.

 

1 Mother Green – Nickname for the USMC

 

I said, "L.Cpl. Thank you for telling me the story. I give you my word that it will stay totally off the record. I do think I've heard enough and nothing further is needed.

 

He looked confused and asked, "Sir! Don't you want to know what happened when we sparred?"

 

I already had a good idea so I answered, "No, L.Cpl. that's no longer necessary. I realize I precipitated the situation with my actions." I continued, "L.Cpl. I just have one more question for you. Do you like working with Sgt. Reynolds?"

 

He instantly responded, "Yes Sir! He is responsible for making me into the Marine I am."

 

I wanted to investigate this further, but decided to save it for a later time so I requested, "Now I would like to have a discussion with Sgt. Reynolds. Please send him over to me."

 

Flashback – Jack – Day four, week one of spook school

 

Banzai started jogging back towards Mira and me so I wondered what the hell happened. As soon as he was close enough, I asked, "Banzai, what happened with the Major?"

 

 He smiled and answered, "I told him about squirrel hunting in Colorado and I think things are fine. He wants to talk to you now."

 

I shook my head since that was about the squirreliest answer I'd ever heard and I wanted to ask him more questions. But I knew better than to make the Major wait. I slowly jogged up to where he was waiting for me, not sure of what I was really facing.

 

He ordered, "Sgt. Reynolds, fall in beside me." And fuck NO… we started jogging so I just kept my mouth shut.

 

After what seemed to be an interminable wait, Major M asked, "Sgt. Reynolds, do you enjoy being a Marine?"

 

I thought what the hell sort of question was that but replied, "Yes Sir! I certainly do!"

 

He continued, "Do you enjoy working with L.Cpl. Blaine?"

 

With his questions it was beginning to feel like I was the one in trouble so I defensively answered, "Yes Sir! He's an excellent Marine and it's an honor to work with him."

 

The Major stated, "He says you made him into the Marine that he is, and I agree."

 

He didn't ask a question so I kept my mouth shut and waited to see where he was headed.

 

He finally said, "However, I personally think you hold him back from becoming even better. How do you feel about that?"

 

Shit this was one of those questions for which there was no right answer! So I carefully replied, "Sir, if that's how you feel then you must be correct!"

 

He picked up the pace and growled, "Sgt. Reynolds that was not an answer to my question of how you feel about it. Now answer the damn question."

 

I needed some time so I requested, "Sir might I have a minute or two to think about the question?"

 

He barked, "Hell no! Answer it now."

 

I reluctantly said, "Sir! I don't think that I am."

 

He picked up the pace again and said, "Sgt. What makes you feel you can out-think a Major. I told you I felt you were holding the L.Cpl. back and you disagreed with me! Would you care to change what you just said?"

 

Hell yes I did so I replied, "Sir, if you feel I am holding the L.Cpl. back, then I must be holding him back, but I am not sure how it is happening?"

 

He said, "Sgt. Reynolds, when L.Cpl. Blaine chose you as his spotter, you did a very good thing: You took him out and taught him what it was really like to be a Marine. Now I'm not sure exactly what you did, or how you did it, but I commend you for that."

 

I answered, "Thank you Sir!"

 

He barked, "Sgt. I was not finished. Since that time you've picked up a very bad habit, do you know what it is?"

 

I replied, "Sir! If I knew then I would certainly fix that bad habit."

 

We ran a bit faster and after another long wait the Major stated, "Sgt. you've been riding on L.Cpl. Blaine's coat tails and you do just enough to get by and not get in trouble. While that attitude might work in the Army, it certainly has no place in the Marines. I personally hate mediocre Marines and they have no place in the Corps."

 

Again there was no question so I thought about what he had said and fuck he was right! How did this ever get flipped around to where I was the one facing the inquisition?

 

I knew I had to grab the bull by the horns so I said, "Sir! Permission to speak?"

 

He nodded, "Permission granted."

 

I boldly stated, "Sir! I thank you for bringing this bad habit to my attention and I will do my best to rectify the situation."

 

He smiled and simply said, "That's good Sgt. Reynolds, because if you can't fix this bad habit ricky-tick you're going to get a desk job. I will not have you holding L.Cpl. Blaine back with this bad habit or teaching it to him. Do you understand me?"

 

Fuck no! Not a fucking desk job! I instantly replied, "Yes Sir! I understand and I will change my attitude starting today."

 

He smiled at me and said, "Excellent Sgt. Reynolds. Because today I will be observing you and the L.Cpl. on the FBI obstacle course and I expect to be impressed by your performance."

 

Oh shit! Not a fucking obstacle course - I hated those. I hid my emotions and said, "Thank you Sir! We will impress you."

 

Flashback – Mira – Day four, week one of spook school

 

The Major made Sgt. Reynolds run and I just had to point out to my boyfriend, "Look how well Sgt. Reynolds is running Honey."

 

He seemed uncomfortable as he replied (but not as distressed as I was planning to make him), "Yeah, Jack can still run well. I wonder what they are talking about."

 

It looked like Major M asked Sgt. Reynolds questions but I had a few questions of my own and asked my boyfriend, "How did you sleep last night?"

 

He avoided eye contact with me when he replied, "Fine I guess." But I perceived that things were not fine!

 

So I continued, "Why just fine and why do you just guess? Did you not sleep in your room last night?"

 

He prepared to answer when his mobile phone rang so he said, "Mira, please excuse me a moment." I did not like being put on hold one bit! I was not so sure that my boyfriend didn't misbehave last night. He smelled differently this morning when we ardently embraced.

 

I was annoyed so I jostled him as we ran. He moved over and said, "Mira, cut it out."

 

I thought to myself I will certainly cut something out if you have been a bad boy. He finished the call, looked at me and smiled; but something did not seem right. I noticed that the Major and Sgt. Reynolds were headed back towards us. Their discussion must be completed while ours had just started. I asked again, "Why just fine and why do you just guess? Did you not sleep in your room last night?"

 

He grinned and said, "No Mira, I didn't make it back to the school until this morning. So tell me how did you sleep last night?"

 

I did not like this question at all. I fought with all my strength to not blush and replied, "I did not sleep well at all last night because I knew you were not in your room!!!"

 

He replied, "I thought that perhaps Jack's snoring kept you awake." I was exceedingly upset! Someone must have informed my boyfriend with that phone call about stinky Sgt. Reynolds and me. When I discover that person's identity they will expire!

 

The Major and Jack ran up beside us before we could continue this confrontation. The Major ordered, "Fall in you two." We ran in silence as my anger seethed like brimstone in a caldron.  

 

Flashback – Ben – Day four, week one of spook school

 

Damn! Did I ever dodge a bullet – no a Mira missile! She probed me to figure out what I did last night (I still didn't know what happened last night, but I'm sure it was more of what I did remember from this morning), when I received a voice-scrambled phone call. At first I couldn't believe it but the voice on the other end said Jack and Mira slept together last night in the same bed! Then I remembered what Jack said about having more of a reason to be angry than I did. And now with Mira's reaction I'm pretty damn sure the old fart nailed her last night. I was pissed as hell!

 

Yeah, like it or not and as much as I tried to fight it, I did have some feelings for Mira. It didn't make sense to me: Mira and Jack – Jack and Mira – that was all jacked up. Mira kept glancing sideways at me, and guilt was written all over her face. I needed… yes I needed time to think and get my head on straight before I just reacted and kicked both their cheating asses.

 

I yelled, "Alpha Mike Foxtrot!2 " and sprinted ahead as fast as I could!

 

2 Alpha Mike Foxtrot – Adios Mother Fuckers!

 

Flashback – Major M – Day four, week one of spook school

 

When Sgt. Reynolds and I ran up to Ms. Sedankina and L.Cpl. Blaine, it was immediately evident that all was not well between the happy couple. If looks could kill they would have both assassinated each other. I needed to get to the bottom of this because their continued 'friendship' was a real asset to my group. It gave us a foot in the door to the intelligence community which Mira was a part of.

 

I ordered them to fall in and we all ran in a very uncomfortable silence. I was just getting ready to start a cadence when something lit a fire under the L.Cpl.'s ass! He yelled, "Alpha Mike Foxtrot!" and took off like his ass was on fire, which surprised all of us.

 

Mira yelled, "Sweetie, wait for me!" And she sped up and tried to catch him.

 

I looked over at Jack and said, "Well Marine, what should we do?"

 

He replied, "Sir! I don't think we can catch either one of them, but after the multiple attempts on both their lives we should at least try to stay in contact with them."

 

As he took off, I stumbled and yelled, "Sgt. What the fuck are you talking about!"

 

The Sgt. could certainly run when he was motivated, and I couldn't catch him. He yelled over his shoulder, "The instructors tried to capture Banzai the first night and one pulled a pistol on him – Mira saved him. And Mira and Banzai were shot at, with Mira's body armor being hit, yesterday."

 

I thought, what the fuck is going on at this piece of shit place and why the hell wasn't I told about any of this! This greatly changed everything and I needed to seriously kick some ass!

 

Flashback – Mira – Day four, week one of spook school

 

I perceived that my boyfriend was tremendously troubled at me but I did not really behave badly! However his overt reaction excited me, because it assuaged any uncertainty in my psyche about his feelings towards me. I was sure I could easily catch him and persuade him nothing unbecoming happened between the stinky Sgt. and me. He was after all remarkably logical for a man. That was easier articulated than arranged: My boyfriend discovered new velocity he never displayed previously, and even at my utmost velocity he still pulled away! I called, "Sweetie, please slow up and let me dialog with you!"

 

He rudely yelled, "ESAD3!" This was totally out of character for him!

 

3 ESAD – Eat Shit And Die

 

I tried again, "L.Cpl. Blaine, we need to dialog together about what is bothering you!"

 

This time he replied with a vulgarity which shocked me, "STFU4 – Bitch!"

 

4 STFU – Shut The Fuck Up

 

It was evident my boyfriend's extreme grumpiness exceeded all normal boundaries. He had embraced a fantastically fractious attitude, and lost all semblance of reason. I would not win this battle unless I became sneaky and gave him an absolute attitude adjustment. So I yelled, "Aaaweeee! My leg!" and fell to the ground."

 

Flashback – Jack – Day four, week one of spook school

 

Shit! Mira hurt herself trying to catch Banzai! The crazy bastard, he needed to pay for this. Somehow I found even greater speed as I ran towards her. She needed my help!

 

Flashback – Major M – Day four, week one of spook school

 

Ms. Sedankina fell to the ground and complained about her leg. I watched it with great interest because the way she fell didn't look right to me. Sgt. Reynolds took off to be beside her and L.Cpl. Blaine stopped, turned around and looked at her on the ground. Then he also started running towards her.

 

Flashback – Ben – Day four, week one of spook school

 

Fuck no! Mira's hurt! She yelled behind me about her leg, I turned around and she was lying on the ground. Fucking Jack's already headed towards her. I thought for a moment about leaving the two of them - shit they deserve each other. But I couldn't so I headed back towards Mira and Jack.

 

Flashback – Major M – Day four, week one of spook school

 

What sort of strange fucking ménage a trois have I stumbled into? Sgt. Reynolds reached Ms. Sedankina first and he is holding her as if he's her boyfriend. L.Cpl. Blaine and I arrived at the same time and he said, "Mira, sorry you hurt yourself chasing me. But Jack is here for you now so I bet you feel better."

 

Ms. Sedankina became very obviously upset and answered, "L.Cpl. Blaine! I want to assure you nothing happened between me and stinky Sgt. Reynolds last night!"

 

Sgt. Reynolds looked confused when he said, "It's alright Mira. You don't have to hide it from Banzai. He had his chance and didn't want you."

 

She pushed Sgt. Reynolds away and shouted, "Jack, I abided in your bed last night as a medical necessity to prevent hypothermia from your wound and blood loss.

 

Things escalated and headed towards an all-out-war. I had my fill of all this bullshit and I commanded, "Marines ten-hut!"

 

The Sgt., L.Cpl. and even Ms. Sedankina jumped up and stood at attention - it was just like I thought. Damn! Women are all sneaky bitches, add the title spies to their name and they are quadrupley sneaky. I'm sure she'd been manipulating the hell out of my two Marines and this has to be stopped.

 

"It has come to my attention by accident, some incidents have occurred which have endangered the lives of the three of you. Now I demand to be given details of those incidents immediately.  L.Cpl. you will start."

 

It took some time and some mental arm twisting to finally get the stories out of my two Marines, but Ms. Sedankina refused to tell me anything. I tried to pry the information out of the Sgt. or the L.Cpl. and there was no way in hell they were going to tell me anything more.

 

However, I needed to take care of one big problem so I ordered, "Sgt. and L.Cpl. you are Marines twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week and three hundred-sixty-five days a year. This is a reminder that you have no 'free' or time which you can call your own. Now I don't know and frankly don't the fuck care what went on with Ms. Sedankina in the past and neither should the two of you! However since I am now here, I order the two of you to treat her with the respect and dignity a visiting diplomat deserves. Do I make myself totally clear?"

 

My Marines replied, "Sir! Yes Sir!"

 

But Ms. Sedankina complained, "Major, please consider that L.Cpl. Blaine is my boyfriend."

 

Yeah and I didn't want to lose my chance to acquire more information about her and her organization so I added to my order, "Ms. Sedankina, if that is the case then the L.Cpl. may continue to see you. However L.Cpl. remember, she is a dignitary and I expect you to keep a very tight rein on your emotions."

 

L.Cpl. Blaine started to complain and I countermanded, "L.Cpl. did I give you permission to speak?"

 

I looked at the three of them: Ms. Sedankina was quite happy; Sgt. Reynolds was obviously confused and upset; and the L.Cpl. looked panicked. My job was done with them except for a few more details. "Sgt. and L.Cpl. it's my understanding all three of you share a room; you will vacate the room Ms. Sedankina uses today. And also L.Cpl. you will order your men to immediately release my aide."

 

I watched as the L.Cpl. gave a few hand signals and I was again impressed. Ms. Sedankina was unhappy and started to complain. Now with everyone being upset, my job was complete! I was finished listening to their bullshit, was pissed as hell, looked at the three of them and commanded, "Fall in behind me! Maintain single file and don't say a word."

 

Yes it pays to be the Major!

 

We ran back towards the main part of the school and my long lost aide showed up. I taunted, "Where the hell have you been, sleeping again?"

 

He replied, "Some damn bastard Recons snuck up on me, grabbed me, tied me up and taunted me the whole fucking time. I want you to court martial their asses."

 

I replied, "Excuse the hell out of me! Is that the proper way to greet your commanding officer and was that a fucking order you just gave me?"

 

He looked shocked and humbly answered, "Sir! Sorry Sir! I was just angry."

 

I asked, already believing they were disguised, "Did you get a look at their faces or names?"

 

He replied, "Sir! No Sir! They were wearing those damn skull balaclavas and they had no insignias at all on their uniforms."

 

This was too much fun and I directed, "L.Cpl. beside me now."

 

He ran up and I said, "L.Cpl. this is my aide and he says two Recon Marines captured him and held him prisoner but he can't identify them. What do you think about this?"

 

He grinned at me and I could tell he understood why I asked the question the way I did. He replied, "Sir, as lax as the security is at this 'school' there's no way to tell who it was or even if it was Marines."

 

I replied, "Thank you L.Cpl. for your excellent assessment, fall back into line."

 

My aide sputtered, "But I tell you…!"

 

I interrupted and then ordered, "When I want you to think I will tell you to think. Until then keep your mouth shut and fall back to the end of the line."

 

I heard some noise behind me so turned a little. It appeared Ms. Sedankina had done something to the L.Cpl. which he didn't care for because he was again upset.

 

I turned back and smiled - yes it pays to be the Major!

 

Flashback – Ben – Day four, week one of spook school

 

Mira goosed the hell out of me so I jumped and yelled. The Major turned and gave me a dirty look but there was nothing I could do since I was trapped between a rock – the Major and a hard place – Mira.

 

I asked, "Sir! Might I run beside you Sir?"

 

I could tell he enjoyed the hell out of himself when he laughed and said, "No L.Cpl. you may not. Now didn't I command all of you to be quiet?"

 

Damn him! I hated it when officers became bossy bastards. That's okay I had a plan: I ran up right behind him and 'accidentally' kicked his heel. Shit! Mira goosed me again at the same time and… fuck no! We all hit the ground in a huge tangled mess.

 

Major M yelled, "What the hell is going on?"

 

I replied, "Sorry Sir! I wasn't watching where I was running."

 

The Major replied, "L.Cpl. seeing as you're now a hazard to running behind anyone, you will run laps around us as we head back to the school."

 

Son of a bitch, Mira got me in major trouble with the Major. I helped him up and said, "Sorry Sir! Yes I will run laps around everyone and I will make sure it never happens again."

 

Mira whispered, "L.Cpl. Blaine, you deserve that punishment after what you did last night."

 

I couldn't believe she was pissed at me about last night after what she and Jack did! Oh well, at least my punishment got me away from Mira!

 

We started running again, with me running circles around the other four. When I looked at Mira she laughed at me and stuck out her tongue.

 

The next time around, I flipped her the bird! It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. However…

 

Flashback – Mira – Day four, week one of spook school

 

It was not nearly as gratifying running behind the malodorous Major as it was running behind my boyfriend. His derriere was not nearly as fair, but it was enjoyable beleaguering my boyfriend when he passed by. The second time he passed, he gave me the inappropriate digit and it majorly annoyed and distracted me. I jostled the Major enough that he almost fell again and so he yelled, "What the hell is happening back there."

 

I replied, "Sorry Mike (yes he needs to know he is not the boss), L.Cpl. Blaine distracted me and my leg is bothering me."

 

The Major stopped us and said, "Okay you two, didn't I tell you to cut it out? If you keep it up I'm going to make you crawl back to the school." I knew the malodorous Major could not make me do anything! However I did not want my boyfriend to suffer such a significant affront, so I came up with another excellent idea and postulated, "Major, perhaps the L.Cpl. should carry me back to the base because my leg is still a little sore."

 

He grinned at the two of us and commented, "Ms. Sedankina, I think that's an excellent idea. L.Cpl. you will carry the injured Ms. Sedankina piggy back at the end of the formation, all the way to the school."

 

My belligerent boyfriend barked, "But Sir! How can I carry her piggy back when I have a pack on my back?"

 

Major M commanded, "Sgt. Reynolds, you will carry your pack and the L.Cpl.'s pack while he carries Ms. Sedankina."

 

Stinky Sgt. Reynolds looked like he was going to die. My boyfriend grinned (just for now, because I would presently remedy that) as he handed his pack over to the Sgt. My boyfriend said, "Don't drop my pack Jack, it has my rifle in it."

 

And stinky Sgt. Reynolds almost dropped the pack because of its weight. I joyfully jumped on my boyfriend's back and started the torture by yanking on his auricle. Yes my L.Cpl. was going to learn a big lesson for the things I presumed he did last night and the inappropriate digit he flashed me this morning! And as a bonus, stinky Sgt. Reynolds would also learn a lesson for the problems he caused me.

 

Flashback – Jack – Day four, week one of spook school

 

Son-of-a-bitch! Once again I got the fucking short end of the stick because of something Banzai and Mira did! This bullshit needed to stop, but I wasn't sure how to do that yet. I would have gladly carried Mira because she had to weigh less than Banzai's pack; he never learned the meaning of packing light. His pack weighed about twice what it needed to weigh.

 

I started dumping shit out of my pack to shed weight: Like water, MREs and anything else I thought I could get away with. Mira jumped on Banzai's back and looked to be driving him crazy as she grinned at me like the Cheshire Cat. Somehow both those fuckers were going to pay for this shit!

 

And this Major was getting on my fucking nerves. If he kept it up he'd get his too!

 

Flashback – Ben – Day four, week one of spook school

 

Shit! My plan backfired! Mira bumped the Major again and he's majorly pissed and now I had to fucking carry her piggy back! She was already on my back so I had to keep my arms wrapped around her legs because she wasn't doing anything to help me hold her up. In fact she did everything to try to make it harder on me. She about ripped my ear off the side of my head and then dug her fingernails into the side of my neck so I dropped her. The sneaky faking little bitch yelled, "Awwweeee, my leg."

 

The Major turned and questioned, "L.Cpl. is there a problem carrying Ms. Sedankina?"

 

I'd determined the Major's major way of enforcing his command was to make things uncomfortable for those around him, and I had a great idea, "Sir! Wouldn't it make more sense to use a fireman's carry on her?"

 

He grinned at me and replied, "Excellent idea L.Cpl. yes use the fireman's carry on Ms. Sedankina."

 

I abruptly grabbed Mira and tossed her over my shoulder like a sack of shit - it was fitting since she was on my shit list! She let out a yelp and yowled, "L.Cpl. Blaine, I am not a bag of onions!" I thought, no but you're sure going to be crying like a bag of fucking onions when I'm done carrying your ass!

 

Flashback – Mira – Day four, week one of spook school

 

My boyfriend treated me very rudely! He roughly threw me over his shoulder just like a big bag of onions. I complained, "L.Cpl. Blaine, I am not a bag of onions!" But I could tell he had a devious design in his mind! The Major turned away and laughed, then, my, my, my boyfriend roughly seized the left half of my gluteus maximus and maximally squeezed it! It felt like Beelzebub bit hades out of my gluteus maximus. I thrashed and exclaimed in pain, "L.Cpl. Blaine! That is entirely enough of that!"

 

He laughed and whispered, "Mira, you can bite my ass and that was called a 'horse bite!'"

 

The Major turned and grinned, "Are you having problems Ms. Sedankina? If so you can always run back to the base with the three of us."

 

I thought, horse bite my derriere. Now I would show my overtly smug boyfriend a Miranda bite! I replied, "Thank you Major, but the current accommodations on my boyfriend's back while slightly uncomfortable are otherwise superior to locomoting under my own power, especially on my sore leg."

 

The Major turned and I sprang into action! I bent over as far as I could, place my beastly boyfriend's left gluteus maximus in my mouth and gave him a Miranda bite from hades on his buttock!

 

Flashback – Jack – Day four, week one of spook school

 

Oh My God! I laughed so hard I fell over! Even the Major's aide, who was pissed as hell laughed his ass off! Mira just bit Banzai's ass – yes literally bit his ass. Banzai ran like his ass was on fire, tried to shake her off and yelled, "Mira, what the hell are you doing!"

 

The thing was, and I didn't know how the hell she did it, she didn't let go! The two of them ran past the Major, he looked at me lying on the ground laughing and asked, "Did she just bite his ass?"

 

I laughed so hard I cried and nodded my head! The Major joined in as we watched them run into the distance!

 

The Major laughed at me and said, "I think they just redefined the meaning of 'grab ass.'"

 

The aide added, "I guess you could say Mira's all assed up."

 

Shit, now he got me all fired up again. I laughed, looked at him and said, "We'd better go and save him while he's still got an ass left."

 

The aide said, "Fuck saving them, I just want to see what happens next." Then we took off after the two of them.

 

Flashback – Ben – Day four, week one of spook school

 

Holy shit! Mira bit and is still biting the shit out of my ass! It fucking hurts like hell! The sneaky little bitch! Two can play this game: I grabbed her on the back of her leg and gave her another horse bite - it had to hurt like hell.

 

I was temporarily relieved when she screamed and let go, that was until she started pinching the hell out of my ass!

 

I yelled, "Mira, I order you to cut it out!"

 

She replied, "L.Cpl. Blaine, you need to be sanctioned for the things you have done!" And she kept up her assault on my ass.

 

Finally I realized all I had to do was fucking let go of her and she'd fall off my back. I let go of her but didn't realize until it was too late…

 

Flashback – Jack – Day four, week one of spook school

 

Banzai finally wised up and dumped Mira off his back while he still had an ass left. She bounced like a rag doll, landed on her head and wasn't moving. I kicked it into overdrive, ran up to her and sat down beside her. She was out cold and I was pissed as hell. I yelled at the retreating Banzai, "You'd better run you bastard before I kick your ass! You just cold cocked my girlfriend!"

 

He stopped looked back at me and dumbly replied, "What the hell are you talking about?"

 

I jumped up, headed towards him and yelled, "I said, you knocked Mira out you fucking bastard!"

 

He sassed me, "So what the fuck is it to you!"

 

I was pissed so I kept heading towards him and said, "You self-righteous smug bastard, you're ready to kick everyone's ass when they hurt Mira, but when you hurt her it's no big fucking deal!"

 

He interrupted, "Jack, what the hell did I do to her?"

 

Flashback – Major M – Day four, week one of spook school

 

I knelt beside Ms. Sedankina - she seemed to be out cold! And it looked like a confrontation was going to occur between Sgt. Reynolds and L.Cpl. Blaine. My aide ran up, "Sir! Do you think we should stop them?"

 

I thought about it and replied, "Hell no, let's watch and see how they work things out."

 

The two of them were face to face and I couldn't hear what was being said, but I could tell there were some harsh words being exchanged. Finally Sgt. Reynolds dropped the two packs he carried and they went at it.

 

Ms. Sedankina woke up and yelled, "Sgt. Reynolds and L.Cpl. Blaine, what are you two doing." Then she jumped up and ran towards them.

 

My aide grinned, "I thought she was faking about her leg."

 

I concurred, "Yes, about that and many other things."

 

I laughed when she got closer, pulled her practice katana and started wailing on my two Marines. Perhaps the Commandant and Mr. Smith were right: These three were quite a distraction.

 

Flashback – Mira – Day four, week one of spook school

 

Stinky Sgt. Reynolds and my boyfriend were fighting over me! While I was very flattered, I could not have them hurting each other because that was my job. I ran up as my boyfriend said, "Jack, I know you hit Mira last night!"

 

Sgt. Reynolds laughed, "And who did you hit last night. Yeah, I can smell her shampoo on you!"

 

My boyfriend blushed and I knew it was true! I rushed in with my practice katana and yelled, "I'm the only one here who is going to perform any hitting." And I started beating them with my katana.

 

Stinky Sgt. Reynolds yelled, "Mira, why the hell are you hitting me, especially after last night?"

 

I whacked him several times and replied, "Sgt. Reynolds, once again, all I did last evening was share body warmth with you to prevent hypothermia." My boyfriend tried to sneak away, but I turned and beat him also, "Where in hades do you think you are going? Back to her again?"

 

He complained, "Mira, I don't even remember last night!"

 

I yelled, "Ah ha! So you admit there was a last night!" And I beat him some more. I was well on my way to alleviating my anger when Major M and the others ran up.

 

Major M yelled…

 

Flashback – Major M – Day four, week one of spook school

 

I couldn't let the beating continue so I yelled, "Ms. Sedankina, if you continue to strike my two Marines without provocation, I will consider it an act of war against America."

 

Mr. Smith yelled, "See Major M, I told you they are a huge disruption at the school. I demand that you take action against the three of them."

 

The Commandant added, "Yes, they have made a total shambles of my school and they need to pay for it."

 

I looked at my two Marines. They looked like they were in trouble, while it was obvious rage still smoldered in Ms. Sedankina's eyes.

 

Since I needed to regain control of the situation, I got in Mr. Smith's face and demanded, "Mr. Smith, did you obtain authorization through the proper Marine channels before bringing the Sgt. and L.Cpl. to this school?"

 

He sputtered in reply, "No I didn't because the General told me to I could do whatever I wanted to with them."

 

I countered, "That still doesn't mean you can redeploy Marines, especially my Marines without going through proper channels."

 

He griped, "When did they become your Marines?"

 

I bluffed, "When I talked to the General about them. Do we need to call him and your supervisor on the phone and have a discussion about this?"

 

He fell for it and surrendered, "No Major we don't."

 

I turned to the Commandant and spit on the ground, "You Sir are in even more trouble than Mr. Smith. The security is so lax at this school you have operatives sneaking onto the school grounds."

 

He argued, "Like hell it is, I run a tight ship!"

 

I snapped, "It sure as hell is and the only thing tight around here is you! Yes I know all about your drinking problems. L.Cpl. Blaine was almost shot the first night at your school; Ms. Sedankina was shot yesterday at your school; Sgt. Reynolds was abducted from your school just last night; and my aide was detained earlier today. Now if you two don't want a full investigation from JAG, you need to back off on my two Marines and Ms. Sedankina. From the looks of things I would say this school is lucky to have three assets of their caliber here at the same time."

 

I looked over and my Marines and Ms. Sedankina grinned. It was now time to deal with them. I got in front of my Marines and said, "Now you two need to wipe those grins off your faces. I have a feeling some things went on here which were obviously not regulation and I'm here to make sure that doesn't continue to happen. If you two have any issues with Mr. Smith or the commandant, you need to contact me directly. Do you understand?"

 

The both replied, "Sir! Yes Sir!"

 

I turned, looked at Ms. Sedankina and bluffed, "Ms. Sedankina, while I can't command you to do anything, I can and will make sure your stay in America is terminated if you continue to harass my Marines. I am sure your country wouldn't appreciate you being sent back home."

 

She grinned, winked at me and replied, "Sir! I understand what you are trying to say." Damn, she knew I couldn't back up what I said, but also let me know she was going to play along with my plans.

 

I smiled and stated, "Well, I came here to observe the FBI obstacle course so what are we wasting time for?"

 

Flashback – Jack – Late Day four, week one of spook school

 

My ass was dragging! The fucking obstacle course was a team obstacle course. I asked the Major to be teamed with Banzai, but he thought it was better if Banzai and Mira made a team while he and I made another team. I knew why the Major teamed with me - he wanted to make sure I wasn't going to skate. But why the hell did he put Mira and Banzai together? Now that was a mystery.

 

Banzai and Mira kicked butt on the course and actually looked like they had fun. The Major rode my ass forcing us to keep up with them. In the end, Banzai and Mira finished first and we finished second but the Major was happy. He took off while Banzai and I went to our room, yes, our room. I guess Banzai's friends had already moved all our stuff into Mira's old room so we once again had a room to ourselves.

 

I finished my shower and crashed in the top bunk as Banzai said, "Come on Jack, time to dress for dinner."

 

I looked at him and questioned him, "Banzai, what the fuck are you talking about. I thought the Major put an end to stuff like this."

 

He laughed and replied, "Jack, he didn't say we couldn't dress for dinner, besides Mira said she has some sort of new outfit for tonight."

 

I glanced at him out of one eye as he was getting into his Dress Blues so I figured why not. I had just finished changing when there was a knock on the door. Banzai opened it and there was Mira. Girl next door Mira was gone and was replaced by another personality. She was dressed in a skin tight black dress, white pearls, and a fake cigarette holder. She looked both familiar and awesome.  I almost shit my pants when she said…

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